雙語·《黑暗的心》 第三章

Chapter Three
第三章

I looked at him, lost in astonishment. There he was before me, in motley, as though he had absconded from a troupe of mimes, enthusiastic, fabulous.His very existence was improbable, inexplicable, and altogether bewildering.He was an insoluble problem.It was inconceivable how he had existed, how he had succeeded in getting so far, how he had managed to remain-why he did not instantly disappear.‘I went a little further，’he said，‘then still a little further-till I had gone so far that I don’t know how I‘ll ever get back.Never mind.Plenty time.I can manage.You take Kurtz away quick-quick-I tell you.’The glamour of youth enveloped his particoloured rags, his destitution, his loneliness, the essential desolation of his futile wanderings.For months-for years-his life hadn‘t been worth a day’s purchase；and there he was gallantly, thoughtlessly alive, to all appearance indestructible solely by the virtue of his few years and of his unrefecting audacity.I was seduced into something like admiration-like envy.Glamour urged him on, glamour kept him unscathed.He surely wanted nothing from the wilderness but space to breathe in and to push on through.His need was to exist, and to move onwards at the greatest possible risk, and with a maximum of privation.If the absolutely pure, uncalculating, impractical spirit of adventure had ever ruled a human being, it ruled this be-patched youth.I almost envied him the possession of this modest and clear fame.It seemed to have consumed all thought ofself so completely, that, even while he was talking to you, you forgot that it was he-the man before your eyes-who had gone through these things.I did not envy him his devotion to Kurtz, though.He had not meditated over it.It came to him, and he accepted it with a sort of eager fatalism.I must say that to me it appeared about the most dangerous thing in every way he had come upon so far.
我兩眼發(fā)直地盯著他，驚訝得茫然無措。我面前的這個人，穿著花團(tuán)錦簇的衣服，好像剛剛從一個啞劇團(tuán)里逃了出來，依然充溢著鋪張的熱情。他的存在虛幻、詭異，完全是莫名其妙的，沒有道理可講。你根本無法想象他的人生是怎么樣的，他竟然能夠成功穿越千山萬水至此，而且活了下來——他竟然沒有立刻煙消云散。‘我往前走幾步，’他說，‘又再走幾步——突然有一天，我發(fā)現(xiàn)已經(jīng)走得太遠(yuǎn)，找不到回頭的路了。管他呢。反正我還年輕。我能活下去。您趕緊把庫爾茨帶走——趕緊——聽我的。’他渾身上下都散發(fā)著青春的光輝，包裹住他花枝招展的破衣服，他的貧困，他的孤獨，以及那份與徒勞無功的流浪形影相隨的寂寞，蝕骨的寂寞。月復(fù)一月——年復(fù)一年——朝不保夕的歲月。他之所以依然能夠在那里無畏無懼地活著，從不思前想后，全因為他年輕氣盛，不知深淺。我不禁有點欣賞起他來——甚至有點嫉妒他。正是這種青春的光輝在催促他前行，并護(hù)佑著他。他當(dāng)然對荒野別無所求，他要的只是能夠讓他自由呼吸和一往無前的空間。他只想活下去，走下去，不惜身犯險境，不惜困蹇無依。如果一種純潔無瑕、毫無心計而不求實利的冒險精神確曾支配過一個人，那一定是這個花衣青年。我禁不住要嫉妒他，他身上竟燃燒著一股如此謙遜而純粹的精神。它仿佛耗盡了他所有能夠用來關(guān)注自我的精力，如此徹底，甚至當(dāng)他還在跟你說話的時候，你便已經(jīng)忘記了，正是他——眼前這個人——經(jīng)歷了這一切。不過對于他無限景仰庫爾茨一事，我一點兒也不覺得有什么好嫉妒的。他對此確實有欠深思熟慮。庫爾茨闖入了他的生命，他便帶著狂熱的宿命感，為他傾倒。我真的覺得，那是他生平所有的遭遇中最兇險的事。

They had come together unavoidably, like two ships becalmed near each other, and lay rubbing sides at last. I suppose Kurtz wanted an audience, because on a certain occasion, when encamped in the forest, they had talked all night, or more probably Kurtz had talked.‘We talked of everything，’he said, quite transported at the recollection.‘I forgot there was such a thing as sleep.The night did not seem to last an hour.Everything！Everything！……Of love too.’‘Ah, he talked to you of love！’I said, much amused.‘It isn’t what you think，‘he cried, almost passionately.’It was in general.He made me see things-things.
他們終于不可避免地相逢了，就像風(fēng)止住后，兩艘共同隨水浮蕩的船，終于擦碰在一起一樣。我想，庫爾茨先生一定是需要一個聽眾，因為當(dāng)他們某次在森林里扎營的時候，曾經(jīng)徹夜交談，當(dāng)然更可能的是庫爾茨在說，他在聽。‘我們無所不談，’他說，談起那個夜晚，依然滿心激動，‘我都忘記了人還要睡覺。整個夜晚似乎還沒有一個小時那么長。我們無所不談，無所不談！……還談到了愛。’‘什么？他和你談愛情！’我十分感興趣地說。‘您別想歪了，’他血脈賁張地喊道，‘是那種籠統(tǒng)意義上的愛——他令我茅塞頓開——茅塞頓開。’

He threw his arms up. We were on deck at the time, and the headman of my wood-cutters, lounging near by, turned upon him his heavy and glittering eyes.I looked around, and I don‘t know why, but I assure you that never, never before, did this land, this river, this jungle, the very arch of this blazing sky, appear to me so hopeless and so dark, so impenetrable to human thought, so pitiless to human weakness.’And, ever since, you have been with him, of course?I said.
他高高地舉起雙臂。我們那時在甲板上，那個無所事事地坐在一旁的伐木工工頭抬起頭來看他，一雙深邃的眼睛碎光流轉(zhuǎn)。我環(huán)顧四周，不知怎的，但我向你們保證，這片土地，這條河，這片森林，這熊熊燃燒著的蒼穹，在我看來如此絕望，如此黑暗，如此深不可測，對人類的弱點如此無情。‘這么說，你們從此當(dāng)然是形影不離了？’我說。

On the contrary. It appears their intercourse had been very much broken by various causes.He had, as he informed me proudly, managed to nurse Kurtz through two illnesses（he alluded to it as you would to some risky feat），but as a rule Kurtz wandered alone, far in the depths of the forest.‘Very often coming to this station, I had to wait days and days before he would turn up，’he said.‘Ah, it was worth waiting for！—sometimes.’‘What was he doing?exploring or what?’I asked.‘Oh yes, ofcourse；’he had discovered lots of villages, a lake too-he did not know exactly in what direction；it was dangerous to inquire too much-but mostly his expeditions had been for ivory.‘But he had no goods to trade with by that time，’I objected.‘There’s a good lot of cartridges left even yet，‘he answered, looking away.’To speak plainly, he raided the country，‘I said.He nodded.’Not alone, surely！‘He muttered something about the villages round that lake.’Kurtz got the tribe to follow him, did he?‘I suggested.He fdgeted a little.’They adored him，‘he said.The tone of these words was so extraordinary that I looked at him searchingly.It was curious to see his mingled eagerness and reluctance to speak of Kurtz.The man flled his life, occupied his thoughts, swayed his emotions.’What can you expect?‘he burst out；’he came to them with thunder and lightning, you know-and they had never seen anything like it-and very terrible.He could be very terrible.You can‘t judge Mr.Kurtz as you would an ordinary man.No, no, no！Now-just to give you an idea-I don’t mind telling you, he wanted to shoot me too one day-but I don‘t judge him.’‘Shoot you！’I cried.‘What for?’‘Well, I had a small lot of ivory the chief of that village near my house gave me.You see I used to shoot game for them.Well, he wanted it, and wouldn’t hear reason.He declared he would shoot me unless I gave him the ivory and then cleared out of the country, because he could do so, and had a fancy for it, and there was nothing on earth to prevent him killing whom he jolly well pleased.And it was true too.I gave him the ivory.What did I care！But I didn‘t clear out.No, no.I couldn’t leave him.I had to be careful, of course, till we got friendly again for a time.He had his second illness then.Afterwards I had to keep out of the way；but I didn‘t mind.He was living for the most part in those villages on the lake.When he came down to the river, sometimes he would talk to me, and sometimes it was better for me to be careful.This man suffered too much.He hated all this, and somehow he couldn’t getaway.When I had a chance I begged him to try and leave while there was time；I offered to go back with him.And he would say yes, and then he would remain；go off on another ivory hunt；disappear for weeks；forget himself amongst these people-forget himself-you know.‘’Why！he‘s mad，’I said.He protested indignantly.Mr.Kurtz couldn‘t be mad.If I had heard him talk, only two days ago, I wouldn’t dare hint at such a thing……I had taken up my binoculars while we talked, and was looking at the shore, sweeping the limit of the forest at each side and at the back of the house.The consciousness of there being people in that bush, so silent, so quiet-as silent and quiet as the ruined house on the hill-made me uneasy.There was no sign on the face of nature of this amazing tale that was not so much told as suggested to me in desolate exclamations, completed by shrugs, in interrupted phrases, in hints ending in deep sighs.The woods were unmoved, like a mask-heavy, like the closed door of a prison-they looked with their air of hidden knowledge, of patient expectation, of unapproachable silence.The Russian was explaining to me that it was only lately that Mr.Kurtz had come down to the river, bringing along with him all the fghting men of that lake tribe.He had been absent for several months-getting himself adored, I suppose-and had come down unexpectedly, with the intention to all appearance of making a raid either across the river or down stream.Evidently the appetite for more ivory had got the better of the-what shall I say?—less material aspirations.However he had got much worse suddenly.‘I heard he was lying here helpless, and so I came up-took my chance，’said the Russian.‘Oh, he is bad, very bad.’I directed my glass to the house.There were no signs of life, but there was the ruined roof, the long mud wall peeping above the grass, with three little square window-holes, no two of the same size；all this brought within reach of my hand, as it were.And then I made a brusque movement, and one of the remaining posts of that vanishedfence leaped up in the feld of my glass.You remember I told you I had been struck at the distance by certain attempts at ornamentation, rather remarkable in the ruinous aspect of the place.Now I had suddenly a nearer view, and its frst result was to make me throw my head back as if before a blow.Then I went carefully from post to post with my glass, and I saw my mistake.These round knobs were not ornamental but symbolic；they were expressive and puzzling, striking and disturbing-food for thought and also for the vultures if there had been any looking down from the sky；but at all events for such ants as were industrious enough to ascend the pole.They would have been even more impressive, those heads on the stakes, if their faces had not been turned to the house.Only one, the frst I had made out, was facing my way.I was not so shocked as you may think.The start back I had given was really nothing but a movement of surprise.I had expected to see a knob of wood there, you know.I returned deliberately to the frst I had seen-and there it was, black, dried, sunken, with closed eyelids-a head that seemed to sleep at the top of that pole, and, with the shrunken dry lips showing a narrow white line of the teeth, was smiling too, smiling continuously at some endless and jocose dream of that eternal slumber.
事實正好相反。看來總有各種各樣的原因中斷他們的交往。他自豪地告訴我，庫爾茨生過兩次大病，都是在他的精心看護(hù)下才挺了過來（聽他的口氣，好像那是多么驚心動魄的豐功偉績），但庫爾茨行動的時候，照例是不帶其他人的，總是孤身深入密林。‘想見他的時候，我就到這個貿(mào)易站來，但往往要等上很多很多天才能等到他。’他說，‘啊，但他值得等！——有的時候。’‘他去干什么了？探險嗎？’我問。‘當(dāng)然是了。’他發(fā)現(xiàn)了很多村莊，還有一個湖呢——其實他也說不清楚它們的確切方向。太好奇總是危險的——但他去探險，主要還是為了找象牙。‘但那時他手里已經(jīng)沒有貨物了，拿什么換象牙呢？’我抗議道。‘但他還剩下很多彈藥。’他回答道，轉(zhuǎn)過臉去。‘你就把話說穿了吧，他就是在四處搶劫吧？’我說。他點點頭。‘他肯定不是唯一一個這么干的人！’他吞吞吐吐地說了一些關(guān)于沿湖村莊的事情。‘庫爾茨令那個部落對他唯命是從，是不是？’我暗示道。他有點窘迫。‘他們對他佩服得五體投地。’他說。他說這些話的聲調(diào)奇怪得很，我不禁用銳利的目光看著他。他是如此熱切地想要談?wù)搸鞝柎?，卻欲言又止，實在古怪之極。這個庫爾茨，已經(jīng)滲透他生命的每個角落，支配了他的思想，操控著他的感情。‘不然你想怎么樣？’他爆發(fā)了，‘他帶著雷鳴和閃電降臨到他們面前——他們從來沒有見過這種東西——真是太可怕了。他可以變得非常可怕。庫爾茨不是普通人，不能用平常的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)來評判他。不，不，不！現(xiàn)在——我只是想讓你知道——我不介意告訴你，他有一天連我都想射死——但我不會去評判他。’‘射死你！’我喊道，‘為什么？’‘因為，我有一點象牙，是我房子附近村子的首領(lǐng)給我的。我過去常常幫他們打獵的。他想據(jù)為己有，無論如何要據(jù)為己有。他正顏厲色地說，我必須把象牙給他，然后迅速離開那個地方，否則就要一槍殺了我，因為他可以這么做，并且也很想這么做，在這個地球上沒有什么可以阻止他殺死任何想殺的人。他也說得沒錯。我把象牙給他了。有什么要緊！但我沒有走。不，不，我離不開他。不過當(dāng)然，我必須處處小心，直到時過境遷，我們重歸于好。那時他再次病倒。等他好了，我只好避開他。但我毫不介意。他一般住在河邊的村莊里，偶爾到河邊來，有時候也會和我說說話，而有時候我還是謹(jǐn)慎一些比較好。這個人受了太多的苦。他也痛恨這一切，但不知怎的就是無法抽身。一有機(jī)會，我就懇求他嘗試一下，趕在無可挽回之前離開。我還主動提出請他帶我一起回去。他會說好，卻依然我行我素，然后又出發(fā)去別的地方找象牙，一連消失好幾個星期。他混在這些人中間，連自己是誰都忘掉了——忘掉了自己是誰——唉。’‘天啊！他這是瘋了！’我說。他憤怒地否認(rèn)。庫爾茨先生是不會瘋的。要是我聽過他談話，即使只是在兩天前，也不敢這么隨便地下判斷……我們一邊說著話，我已經(jīng)拿起了望遠(yuǎn)鏡朝岸邊看，掃視樓房兩邊和背后的森林邊緣。那片叢林，死一般沉默，死一般安靜——沉默安靜得就像山上那座黯敗的房子一樣，然而卻有人潛藏在內(nèi)——意識到這一點，我感到不寒而栗。這個駭人的故事并沒有在這片荒野里留下絲毫痕跡，它的細(xì)節(jié)，也不曾被言明，我?guī)缀跬耆峭ㄟ^那一聲聲凄涼的呼喊，一次又一次的縮背聳肩，七零八落的字句，一遍遍伴隨著長嘆的閃爍其詞，靠自己想象出來的。巋然不動的樹林像一個面具——像緊閉的獄門一般，沉重得仿佛一直在往下墜——這些樹木，仿佛無所不知，無限耐心，凜然難侵，靜靜地看著這一切。這個俄國人又向我說，庫爾茨先生不久前剛來過河邊，隨身帶著那個湖邊部落的所有戰(zhàn)士。他之前又消失了幾個月——我想他是去顯靈了吧——后來卻突然回到這兒來，一副想要向河對岸或下游發(fā)動襲擊的架勢。顯然，他對象牙的渴望壓過了——怎么說呢——那些稍嫌不夠務(wù)實的志向。然而他的身體突然垮掉了。‘聽說他倒在這里，沒人照顧，我就來了——想著趁機(jī)再勸他一次。’俄國人說，‘唉，他很不好，太不好了。’我把望遠(yuǎn)鏡轉(zhuǎn)向那座房子。它看起來已經(jīng)完全荒廢了，只有殘敗的屋頂，長長的泥墻從荒草堆里探出來，上面張著三個大小不同的正方形小窗洞：從望遠(yuǎn)鏡里看去，仿佛這一切都觸手可及。然后我猛地一轉(zhuǎn)，望遠(yuǎn)鏡里驀然出現(xiàn)了一根木樁。籬笆朽壞了，木樁卻殘存了下來。你們還記得嗎？我剛才說過，遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)地望見這些木樁上的雕花圓飾時，我是多么的驚訝。在這片廢墟里，竟然有人掙扎著要鏤金描彩！現(xiàn)在它突然來到眼前，嚇得我猛然把頭向后一甩，就像要躲開迎面而來的一拳。然后我緩緩地一個木樁一個木樁看過去，發(fā)現(xiàn)之前我沒看真切。這些圓球并不是裝飾，而是飽含象征意義的，它們意味深長，卻又莫名其妙，駭人又惡心——引人思考，也能引來正在空中鳥瞰覓食的禿鷲，但最終總不免被那些不畏辛勞地爬上木樁的螞蟻享用。要不是臉朝那座房子，它們，那些木樁上的人頭，本可以更加震撼人心。只有一個，我辨認(rèn)出來的第一個，面朝著我。我并沒有像你們所想的那么大驚失色。我之所以向后猛然甩頭，完全是吃驚時的條件反射。我本來是想著會看到一個木球的嘛。我故意回頭去看那第一個——就是它，又黑又干又皺，雙眼緊閉——一個人頭，仿佛在木樁上沉沉睡去了，而那干巴巴的嘴唇萎縮起來，窄窄地露出一線牙齒的白色，仿佛在笑，在止不住地笑，仿佛正在做著一個永不醒來的夢，一個令人忍俊不禁的夢。

I am not disclosing any trade secrets. In fact the manager said afterwards that Mr.Kurtz‘s methods had ruined the district.I have no opinion on that point, but I want you clearly to understand that there was nothing exactly proftable in these heads being there.They only showed that Mr.Kurtz lacked restraint in the gratifcation of his various lusts, that there was something wanting in him-some small matter which, when the pressing need arose, could not be found under his magnifcent eloquence.Whether he knew of this deficiency himself I can’t say.I think the knowledge came to him at last-only at the very last.But the wilderness had found him out early, and had taken on him a terrible vengeance forthe fantastic invasion.I think it had whispered to him things about himself which he did not know, things of which he had no conception till he took counsel with this great solitude-and the whisper had proved irresistibly fascinating.It echoed loudly within him because he was hollow at the core……I put down the glass, and the head that had appeared near enough to be spoken to seemed at once to have leaped away from me into inaccessible distance.
我可沒有泄露商業(yè)機(jī)密。事實上，后來經(jīng)理說庫爾茨先生所用的手段對那個地區(qū)而言是毀滅性的。對這個觀點，我沒有什么想法，但我真的希望你們能夠理解，把那么多人頭插在木樁上根本毫無益處。它們只能表明庫爾茨先生對自己的各種欲念束手無策，表明他缺乏某件東西——不是什么了不起的東西，然而每當(dāng)欲念沖昏了他的頭腦，在他的滔滔雄辯里卻無論如何找不到它。他本人是否意識到這個缺陷，我不知道。我想他最后肯定有所醒悟——只是大限已至。但荒野一早就看透了他，對他那異想天開的侵略，進(jìn)行了殘忍的報復(fù)。我想，荒野一定曾經(jīng)向他耳語，告訴他他所不知道的事情，關(guān)于他自己的秘密，告訴他，在他受教于這片無邊的凄涼荒野之前無從想象的事情——事實證明，這些低語對他有著致命的誘惑力。它們在他身體里放肆地回響著，因為他已然只是一個空空如也的軀殼……我放下望遠(yuǎn)鏡，那個離我近得幾乎可以和它喁喁私語的人頭似乎立刻跳了開去，消失在遙不可及的遠(yuǎn)方。

The admirer of Mr. Kurtz was a bit crestfallen.In a hurried, indistinct voice he began to assure me he had not dared to take these-say, symbols-down.He was not afraid of the natives；they would not stir till Mr.Kurtz gave the word.His ascendency was extraordinary.The camps of these people surrounded the place, and the chiefs came every day to see him.They would crawl……‘I don’t want to know anything of the ceremonies used when approaching Mr.Kurtz，‘I shouted.Curious, this feeling that came over me that such details would be more intolerable than those heads drying on the stakes under Mr.Kurtz’s windows.After all, that was only a savage sight, while I seemed at one bound to have been transported into some lightless region of subtle horrors, where pure, uncomplicated savagery was a positive relief, being something that had a right to exist-obviously-in the sunshine.The young man looked at me with surprise.I suppose it did not occur to him Mr.Kurtz was no idol of mine.He forgot I hadn‘t heard any of these splendid monologues on, what was it?on love, justice, conduct of life-or what not.If it had come to crawling before Mr.Kurtz, he crawled as much as the veriest savage of them all.I had no idea of the conditions, he said：these heads were the heads of rebels.I shocked him excessively by laughing.Rebels！What would be the next defnition I was to hear?There had been enemies, criminals, workers-and these were rebels.Those rebellious heads looked very subdued to me on their sticks.’You don‘t know how such a life tries a man like Kurtz，’cried Kurtz‘s lastdisciple.’Well, and you?‘I said.’I！I！I am a simple man.I have no great thoughts.I want nothing from anybody.How can you compare me to……?‘His feelings were too much for speech, and suddenly he broke down.’I don‘t understand，’he groaned.‘I’ve been doing my best to keep him alive, and that‘s enough.I had no hand in all this.I have no abilities.There hasn’t been a drop of medicine or a mouthful of invalid food for months here.He was shamefully abandoned.A man like this, with such ideas.Shamefully！Shamefully！I-I—haven‘t slept for the last ten nights……’
庫爾茨先生的這位信徒有點沮喪。他倉促含混地絮叨起來，想要讓我相信他確實不敢把這些——嗯，標(biāo)志——取下來。他不害怕本地的土人，庫爾茨不點頭，他們不敢胡來。他猶如天神下凡。這些土人密密麻麻地圍繞在庫爾茨的住處四周安營扎寨，首領(lǐng)們每天前去問安。他們會伏在地上……‘不要告訴我他們覲見庫爾茨先生的時候要行什么禮。’我喊道。很奇怪地，我渾身上下毛發(fā)倒豎，感覺這個細(xì)節(jié)比庫爾茨窗外那些在木樁上慢慢風(fēng)干的人頭更容易令人失控。畢竟，那只是一個野蠻的畫面，然而我那時卻仿佛覺得自己被送到一個一片漆黑的地區(qū)，到處彌漫著隱約的恐懼，在那里，坦白純粹的野蠻本性對人而言是一種安慰，因為它有權(quán)利——理直氣壯地——存在于光天化日之下。這個年輕人目瞪口呆地望著我。我猜他沒有想到，我可一點兒也不崇拜庫爾茨。他忘了，我從未聽到過那些天花亂墜的演講，那些關(guān)于，關(guān)于什么來著？關(guān)于愛，公正，為人之道——諸如此類——的演講。如果讓他伏在庫爾茨腳邊，他肯定順服之極，一點也不輸給那些最野蠻的人。我不知道當(dāng)時發(fā)生了什么，他說那都是謀反者的人頭。我忍不住狂笑起來，把他嚇壞了。謀反者！下一次他們又會被叫作什么？我已經(jīng)聽到過敵人、罪犯、工人——而現(xiàn)在這些又成了謀反者。木樁上那些圖謀不軌的人頭，在我看來溫柔和順。‘你怎么能夠想象，這樣一種生活對像庫爾茨先生這樣的人來說有多么殘酷！’庫爾茨的最后一個信徒喊道。‘對你而言，也一樣的殘酷？’我說。‘我！我！我是個笨蛋。我只是井底之蛙。我對其他人一無所求。你怎么能拿我和……？’洶涌的感情把他噎住，忽然之間，他崩潰了。‘我真是不明白，’他痛苦地嘟噥道，‘我拼盡全力，只求他能活下去。對這一切，我一直置身事外。我無力插手。這么多個月了，這里連一滴藥水，一口能給病人吃的食物都沒有。他被拋棄了，多么可恥啊。把這樣一個人拋棄了，這樣一個滿懷著高尚思想的人……可恥！可恥啊！我——我——我已經(jīng)一連十天十夜無法合眼……’

His voice lost itself in the calm of the evening. The long shadows of the forest had slipped down hill while we talked, had gone far beyond the ruined hovel, beyond the symbolic row of stakes.All this was in the gloom, while we down there were yet in the sunshine, and the stretch of the river abreast of the clearing glittered in a still and dazzling splendour, with a murky and overshadowed bend above and below.Not a living soul was seen on the shore.The bushes did not rustle.
在寧靜的暮色里，他的聲音漸漸飄散如煙。在我們說話的時候，森林那長長的影子早已瀉下了山坡，漫過那堆斷垣殘壁，漫過那排充滿著象征意義的木樁。那一切全籠罩在陰暗之中，但我們在下面，仍然是金陽如水。河邊空地對著的河道流光溢彩，卻又沉靜寧謐，而上下游的河灣都已隱沒在冥漠的暮色之中。岸上一個人也沒有，那片叢林也沒有沙沙作響。

Suddenly round the corner of the house a group of men appeared, as though they had come up from the ground. They waded waist-deep in the grass, in a compact body, bearing an improvised stretcher in their midst.Instantly, in the emptiness of the landscape, a cry arose whose shrillness pierced the still air like a sharp arrow fying straight to the very heart of the land；and, as if by enchantment, streams of human beings-of naked human beings-with spears in their hands, with bows, with shields, with wild glances and savage movements, were poured into the clearing by the dark-faced and pensive forest.The bushes shook, the grass swayed for a time, and then everything stood still in attentive immobility.
突然，一群人從那座房子的邊上簇?fù)矶?，仿佛驀地從地里鉆了出來似的。他們緊緊挨在一起，穿過齊腰深的荒草，中間抬著一個臨時草草做成的擔(dān)架。在這片剛才仿佛空無一人的荒野中，平地響起一聲尖叫，凄厲刺耳，就像一支利劍劃破寧靜的空氣，直直刺進(jìn)了這片土地的心臟。緊接著，跟變魔術(shù)似的，無數(shù)的人——裸體的——手執(zhí)長矛、弓和盾，目露兇光，行為粗野，從那片陰郁凝重的森林里呼嘯而出，涌進(jìn)了河邊的空地。叢林瑟瑟作抖，草叢也隨之震顫，然而一切很快又復(fù)歸平靜，重新擺出一副凝神靜思的姿態(tài)。

‘Now, if he does not say the right thing to them we are all done for，’said the Russian at my elbow. The knot of men with the stretcher had stopped too, half-way to the steamer, as if petrifed.I saw the man on the stretcher sit up, lank and with an uplifted arm, above the shoulders of thebearers.‘Let us hope that the man who can talk so well of love in general will fnd some particular reason to spare us this time，’I said.I resented bitterly the absurd danger of our situation, as if to be at the mercy of that atrocious phantom had been a dishonouring necessity.I could not hear a sound, but through my glasses I saw the thin arm extended commandingly, the lower jaw moving, the eyes of that apparition shining darkly far in its bony head that nodded with grotesque jerks.Kurtz-Kurtz-that means‘short’in German-dont it?Well, the name was as true as everything else in his life-and death.He looked at least seven feet long.His covering had fallen off, and his body emerged from it pitiful and appalling as from a winding-sheet.I could see the cage of his ribs all astir, the bones of his arm waving.It was as though an animated image of death carved out of old ivory had been shaking its hand with menaces at a motionless crowd of men made of dark and glittering bronze.I saw him open his mouth wide-it gave him a weirdly voracious aspect, as though he had wanted to swallow all the air, all the earth, all the men before him.A deep voice reached me faintly.He must have been shouting.He fell back suddenly.The stretcher shook as the bearers staggered forward again, and almost at the same time I noticed that the crowd of savages was vanishing without any perceptible movement of retreat, as if the forest that had ejected these beings so suddenly had drawn them in again as the breath is drawn in a long aspiration.
‘現(xiàn)在，要是他不發(fā)話救我們，我們就別想活了。’緊挨著我的俄國人說。這伙抬著擔(dān)架的人本來朝著汽船走來，此刻也停下腳步，好像被石化了一樣。我看見擔(dān)架里的人坐起身，瘦骨嶙峋的他，舉起一條細(xì)長的手臂，從抬著擔(dān)架的那叢肩膀上，高高地探了出來。‘這個人能把籠統(tǒng)的愛談得如此美妙動人，現(xiàn)在讓我們看看他能不能舉出個高明的理由來救活我們吧。’我說。我對這個令人困惑的險境有一種說不出的厭惡，好像我現(xiàn)在不得不向那個邪惡的幽靈搖尾乞憐似的，實在是有失身份。我什么都聽不見，但通過望遠(yuǎn)鏡，能看到那條干瘦的手臂在發(fā)號施令似的揮舞著，那個下巴在動，那個幽靈的眼睛透著寒光，深深陷在枯槁的頭顱里，那個頭一點一點的，仿佛正在抽搐，可笑之極。庫爾茨——庫爾茨——在德文里是‘短促’的意思——沒錯吧？名如其人，他生得匆忙——也死得急促。他看起來至少有七英尺高。蓋在他身上的布已經(jīng)滑了下來，露出身體，可憐，可怕，仿佛滑下來的是一塊裹尸布。他那鳥籠一般的肋骨起伏著，他手臂的骨頭涌動著。他多么像一個活了過來的死神雕像，用古老的象牙雕成的，正在向一群一動不動的青銅人偶，黑乎乎、亮閃閃的人偶，咄咄逼人地不停揮著手以示威脅。他張大了嘴——那副表情看起來古怪又貪婪，仿佛他想把眼前的一切全部吞進(jìn)去，所有的空氣，所有的泥土，所有的人。我隱約聽到一個陰沉的聲音，他肯定是在咆哮。突然他又倒了下去。那些人抬著擔(dān)架繼續(xù)蹣跚前行，擔(dān)架在他們肩上搖來晃去。幾乎與此同時，我注意到那一大群土人不動聲色地撤回森林中去，仿佛那片突然把他們吐了出來的森林，現(xiàn)在長吸一口氣，又把他們吞了回去。

Some of the pilgrims behind the stretcher carried his arms-two shot-guns, a heavy rife, and a light revolver-carbine-the thunderbolts of that pitiful Jupiter. The manager bent over him murmuring as he walked beside his head.They laid him down in one of the little cabins-just a room for a bed-place and a camp-stool or two, you know.We had brought his belated correspondence, and a lot of torn envelopes and open letters littered his bed.His hand roamed feebly amongst these papers.I wasstruck by the fre of his eyes and the composed languor of his expression.It was not so much the exhaustion of disease.He did not seem in pain.This shadow looked satiated and calm, as though for the moment it had had its fll of all the emotions.
擔(dān)架后面跟著幾個朝圣者，他們拿著他的武器——兩桿獵槍，一桿沉重的來復(fù)槍，一把輕型左輪手槍——這些就是那個朱庇特的雷電，真夠寒酸的。經(jīng)理挨著他的頭走著，向他彎下腰去耳語了幾句話。他們把他安置在一個小小的船艙里——小得僅僅放得下一張床和幾張小折腳凳那種。我們把那些未能按時送到他手里的信件帶來了，現(xiàn)在他的床上散滿撕破的信封和展開的信。他用虛弱的手在這些紙中間尋摸著。他那炙熱的眼神仿佛正在燃燒，然而他疲倦的面容卻沉靜如冰，我不禁吃了一驚。他并不是因病蕭索，看起來也并不痛苦。這個幽靈一臉滿足安詳，仿佛如今的它已經(jīng)嘗遍人間所有的酸甜苦辣、喜怒哀愁。

He rustled one of the letters, and looking straight in my face said，‘I am glad.’Somebody had been writing to him about me. These special recommendations were turning up again.The volume of tone he emitted without effort, almost without the trouble of moving his lips, amazed me.A voice！a voice！It was grave, profound, vibrating, while the man did not seem capable of a whisper.However, he had enough strength in him-factitious no doubt-to very nearly make an end of us, as you shall hear directly.
他沙沙地摩挲著其中一封信，直直地盯著我的臉說：‘很高興見到您。’一直有人在給他寫信，向他推薦我。又是那時流行的推薦信。他毫不費力就能聲如洪鐘地說出話來，幾乎都不需要費事去動動嘴唇，真是太驚人了。一個聲音！就是這個聲音！低沉，深邃，震天動地，然而這個人看起來卻已經(jīng)如此有氣無力?？墒牵麣埓娴牧α咳匀蛔阋?mdash;—當(dāng)然已是強弩之末——把我們逼入絕境，我馬上就會講到。

The manager appeared silently in the doorway；I stepped out at once and he drew the curtain after me. The Russian, eyed curiously by the pilgrims, was staring at the shore.I followed the direction of his glance.
經(jīng)理悄無聲息地出現(xiàn)在門廊里。我馬上走出去，他一把拉上我身后的門簾。朝圣者們充滿好奇地看著那個俄國人，他正凝視著岸邊。我隨著他的目光看過去。

Dark human shapes could be made out in the distance, flitting indistinctly against the gloomy border of the forest, and near the river two bronze fgures, leaning on tall spears, stood in the sunlight under fantastic head-dresses of spotted skins, warlike and still in statuesque repose. And from right to left along the lighted shore moved a wild and gorgeous apparition of a woman.
遠(yuǎn)處，隱隱約約地有些灰黑的人影在森林昏暗的邊緣晃來晃去，河邊有兩個青銅色皮膚的人，倚著高高的矛，站在陽光中，戴著用布滿斑點的獸皮做成的奇異頭飾，嚴(yán)陣以待，巋然不動，仿佛兩座雕塑。在灑滿了金色陽光的岸邊，一個狂野豪放、艷光四射的女人，幽靈一般，沿河從右往左走著。

She walked with measured steps, draped in striped and fringed cloths, treading the earth proudly, with a slight jingle and flash of barbarous ornaments. She carried her head high；her hair was done in the shape of a helmet；she had brass leggings to the knee, brass wire gauntlets to the elbow, a crimson spot on her tawny cheek, innumerable necklaces of glass beads on her neck；bizarre things, charms, gifts of witch-men, that hung about her, glittered and trembled at every step.She must have had the value of several elephant tusks upon her.She was savage and superb, wild-eyed and magnifcent；there was something ominous and stately in her deliberate progress.And in the hush that had fallen suddenly upon the whole sorrowful land, the immense wilderness, the colossal body of the fecund and mysterious life seemed to look at her, pensive, as though it had been looking at the image of its own tenebrous and passionate soul.
她穩(wěn)穩(wěn)邁著腳步，身披垂?jié)M流蘇的彩紋布，昂然地踩在泥土上，一身蠻俗的飾物叮咚作響，燦然生輝。她高高地昂著頭，頭發(fā)盤成一個黑盔。她纏著及膝高的古銅色綁腿，手臂上套著金黃色的銅釧兒，黃褐的臉頰上描了一塊猩紅色，脖子上掛滿了玻璃珠子項鏈。種種猙獰的物件，符咒，巫師的贈禮，垂在她身上，每走一步都光搖影顫。她這一身裝束，肯定值好幾根象牙。她野蠻卻美艷絕倫，狂暴卻輝煌富麗。她從容的步子，既含著不祥之感，也透著莊嚴(yán)之氣。在忽從天降，籠罩住這片哀土的寂靜里，無涯的荒野那肥沃而神秘的身軀，生靈涌動，仿佛正在凝視著她，沉吟不已，仿佛那就是它自己的靈魂，變幻莫測，卻熱情洶涌。

She came abreast of the steamer, stood still, and faced us. Her long shadow fell to the waters edge.Her face had a tragic and ferce aspect of wild sorrow and of dumb pain mingled with the fear of some struggling, half-shaped resolve.She stood looking at us without a stir and like the wilderness itself, with an air of brooding over an inscrutable purpose.A whole minute passed, and then she made a step forward.There was a low jingle, a glint of yellow metal, a sway of fringed draperies, and she stopped as if her heart had failed her.The young fellow by my side growled.The pilgrims murmured at my back.She looked at us all as if her life had depended upon the unswerving steadiness of her glance.Suddenly she opened her bared arms and threw them up rigid above her head, as though in an uncontrollable desire to touch the sky, and at the same time the swift shadows darted out on the earth, swept around on the river, gathering the steamer into a shadowy embrace.A formidable silence hung over the scene.
她走到汽船前面，面朝我們站定。她長長的影子拖進(jìn)河里。她的表情憂傷而兇狠，原始的悲哀，滯悶的痛苦，以及由蠢蠢欲動卻難以堅定的決心所帶來的恐懼，一團(tuán)亂麻般糾纏在一起。她紋絲不動地站在那里盯著我們，就像荒野的化身，那神態(tài)仿佛在籌劃著某個險惡的陰謀。過了整整一分鐘，她才向前邁了一步，渾身沙沙輕響，黃色的金屬流光溢彩，綴滿流蘇的彩布飄拂搖漾。她沒有再前進(jìn)，仿佛心痛得無法動彈。我身旁的年輕人咆哮起來，朝圣者們在我背后嗡嗡地交頭接耳。她盯著我們所有人，仿佛全靠這堅如磐石的目光，她才得以保全性命。忽然間，她張開裸露的雙臂，高高舉在頭上，一動不動，好像被無法抑制的渴望攫住，歇斯底里地想要觸碰天空。與此同時，陰影迅疾地包裹上來，遮暗了河面，把汽船也裹入懷中。牢不可破的寂靜沉沉地籠罩下來。

She turned away slowly, walked on, following the bank, and passed into the bushes to the left. Once only her eyes gleamed back at us in the dusk of the thickets before she disappeared.
她緩緩轉(zhuǎn)身離去，沿著河岸繼續(xù)走，走進(jìn)左邊的叢林里。只有一次，在她即將要融進(jìn)昏冥的叢林時，回眸看了我們一眼。

‘If she had offered to come aboard I really think I would have tried to shoot her，’said the man of patches, nervously.‘I had been risking my life every day for the last fortnight to keep her out of the house. She got in though one day and kicked up a row about those miserable rags I picked up in the storeroom to mend my clothes with.I wasn’t decent.At least it must have been that, for she talked like a fury to Kurtz for an hour, pointing at me now and then.I don‘t understand the dialect of this tribe.Luckily for me, I fancy Kurtz felt too ill that day to care, or there would have been mischief.I don’t understand……No-it‘s too much for me.Ah, well, it’s all over now.
‘要是她要上船，我恐怕要向她開槍。’那位渾身補丁的男士心驚肉跳地說，‘過去這兩周，我拼了命才把她擋在屋外。可后來她還是進(jìn)來了，大吵大鬧，責(zé)怪我把儲物間里那點子破布拿去補我的衣服。我也有點按捺不住。我肯定回?fù)袅耍驗樗l(fā)了瘋一般對著庫爾茨大喊大叫足足有一個小時，還不時狠狠地指著我。我聽不懂這個部落的方言。好在那天庫爾茨大概是病得太難受，沒精神理她，不然真不知道怎么收場。我真不明白……不——真是夠嗆。唉，現(xiàn)在總算結(jié)束了。’

At this moment I heard Kurtz‘s deep voice behind the curtain，’Save me！—save the ivory, you mean. Don‘t tell me.Save me！Why, I’ve had to save you.You are interrupting my plans now.Sick！Sick！Not so sick as you would like to believe.Never mind.I‘ll carry my ideas out yet-I will return.I’ll show you what can be done.You with your little peddling notions-you are interfering with me.I will return.I……
這時簾后傳來庫爾茨深沉的聲音：‘救我！——你要救的是那些象牙吧。別跟我扯這個。救我！為什么？我之前不也被迫救過你一命嗎？你這是在破壞我的計劃。生病！生病！我還沒像你們希望的病得那么重！不要緊，我不會放棄我的計劃——我會東山再起。咱們走著瞧。你，還有你到處兜售的那些蠢主意——你這是要拆我的臺。我會卷土重來的。我……’

“The manager came out. He did me the honour to take me under the arm and lead me aside.‘He is very low, very low，’he said.He considered it necessary to sigh, but neglected to be consistently sorrowful.‘We have done all we could for him-haven’t we?But there is no disguising the fact, Mr.Kurtz has done more harm than good to the Company.He did not see the time was not ripe for vigorous action.Cautiously, cautiously-that‘s my principle.We must be cautious yet.The district is closed to us for a time.Deplorable！Upon the whole, the trade will suffer.I don’t deny there is a remarkable quantity of ivory-mostly fossil.We must save it, at all events-but look how precarious the position is-and why?Because the method is unsound.‘’Do you，‘said I, looking at the shore，’call it”unsound method?‘’Without doubt，‘he exclaimed, hotly.’Don‘t you?’……‘No method at all，’I murmured after a while.‘Exactly，’he exulted.‘I anticipated this.Shows a complete want of judgment.It is my duty to point it out in the proper quarters.’‘Oh，’said I，‘that fellow-what’s his name?—the brickmaker, will make a readable report for you.‘He appeared confounded for a moment.It seemed to me I had never breathed an atmosphere so vile, and I turned mentally to Kurtz for relief-positively for relief.’Nevertheless I think Mr.Kurtz is a remarkable man，‘I said with emphasis.He started, dropped on me a cold heavy glance, said very quietly，’He was，and turned his back on me.My hour of favor was over.I found myself lumped along with Kurtz as a partisan of methods for which the time was not ripe.I was unsound！Ah！but it was something to have at least a choice of nightmares.
“經(jīng)理出來了。他紆尊降貴地挽著我的手臂，把我拉到一邊，真是意外的榮寵。‘他情緒很低落，非常低落。’他說。他覺得有必要唉聲嘆氣一番，但忘了同步地裝出悲傷的樣子。‘我們對他已經(jīng)仁至義盡，不是嗎？但不必諱言，庫爾茨先生對公司而言已然弊大于利。他估計錯誤，現(xiàn)在動武，時機(jī)還不成熟。謹(jǐn)慎再謹(jǐn)慎——那是我的原則。我們還要繼續(xù)謹(jǐn)慎下去。我們對這個地區(qū)暫時還無能為力。多么不幸！總體而言，公司的貿(mào)易利益必將受損。我不否認(rèn)他獲得的象牙數(shù)量驚人——但大部分都朽壞了。無論如何，我們必須把它們拯救出來——但您看，我們現(xiàn)在的處境是多么兇險——為什么？因為他使用了齷齪的手段。’‘你，’我望著河岸說，說那是”齷齪的手段？‘’還有什么疑問嗎，‘他憤怒地高聲說道，’難道您不認(rèn)為是這樣嗎？……‘那根本談不上是什么手段。’過了一會兒，我低聲說道。‘確實如此，’他興高采烈地說。‘這種局面我早就預(yù)見到了。這充分說明他缺乏判斷力。我有責(zé)任向有關(guān)方面匯報這一情況。’‘哼，’我說，‘那個家伙——他的名字是什么來著？——那個制磚商，會幫你把那份報告寫得精彩絕倫的。’他驚訝得啞口無言了好一陣子。他簡直是污染空氣，我從來沒有感到如此窒息過。我在精神上走投無路地倒向了庫爾茨，但求解脫——確實是但求解脫。‘然而我認(rèn)為庫爾茨先生是一個卓絕不凡的人物。’我咬牙切齒地說。他嚇了一跳，冰冷陰沉地白了我一眼，靜靜地說：‘他以前是。’便轉(zhuǎn)過身去背對著我。我就這樣失寵了。我發(fā)現(xiàn)自己轉(zhuǎn)瞬之間變成了庫爾茨的同黨，盲目地贊成使用那個時機(jī)不成熟的手段：我是多么齷齪！??！但起碼我自己選擇了要做的噩夢是哪一個。

I had turned to the wilderness really, not to Mr. Kurtz, who, I was ready to admit, was as good as buried.And for a moment it seemed to me as if I also were buried in a vast grave full of unspeakable secrets.I felt an intolerable weight oppressing my breast, the smell of the damp earth, the unseen presence of victorious corruption, the darkness of an impenetrable night……The Russian tapped me on the shoulder.I heard him mumbling and stammering something about‘brother seaman-couldn’t conceal-knowledge of matters that would affect Mr.Kurtz‘s reputation.’I waited.For him evidently Mr.Kurtz was not in his grave.I suspect that for him Mr.Kurtz was one of the immortals.‘Well！’said I at last，‘speak out.As it happens, I am Mr.Kurtz’s friend-in a way.
事實上，我是倒向了荒野，而不是庫爾茨先生。坦白講，我覺得庫爾茨等于已經(jīng)被埋掉了。而有那么一會兒，我感覺自己也仿佛被埋在一個巨大的墳?zāi)估铮驮S多令人不齒的秘密一起。好像有什么在壓迫著我的胸膛，沉重得無法忍受，我聞到潮腐的泥土味，所向披靡的腐敗無形無跡，卻又陰魂不散，我能看見的，只有看不穿的暗夜，一片漆黑……俄國人拍拍我的肩膀。我聽見他在口齒不清、結(jié)結(jié)巴巴地說著什么‘同行兄弟——紙是包不住火的——我知道一些會敗壞庫爾茨先生名聲的事情’。我沒有打斷他。對他而言，庫爾茨先生明顯還沒有被埋掉。我懷疑在他看來，庫爾茨先生是長生不死的。‘說吧！’我最后說，‘沒關(guān)系！正巧我也是庫爾茨先生的朋友——從某種意義上說。’

He stated with a good deal of formality that had we not been‘of the same profession，’he would have kept the matter to himself without regard to consequences.‘He suspected there was an active ill-will towards him on the part of these white men that—’You are right，‘I said, remembering a certain conversation I had overheard.’The manager thinks you ought to be hanged.‘He showed a concern at this intelligence which amused me at frst.’I had better get out of the way quietly，‘he said, earnestly.’I can do no more for Kurtz now, and they would soon fnd some excuse. What‘s to stop them?There’s a military post three hundred miles from here.‘’Well, upon my word，‘said I，’perhaps you had better go if you have any friends amongst the savages near by.‘’Plenty，‘he said.’They are simple people-and I want nothing, you know.‘He stood biting his lip, then：’I don‘t want any harm to happen to these whites here, but of course I wasthinking of Mr.Kurtz’s reputation-but you are a brother seaman and—‘’All right，‘said I, after a time.’Mr.Kurtz‘s reputation is safe with me.’I did not know how truly I spoke.
他講了一大堆冠冕堂皇的開場白，說什么要不是看在我們是‘同行’的分上，他將誓死對我守口如瓶。‘他懷疑這些白人對他不懷好意——’‘你說得沒錯。’我說，想起無意中聽到的那次談話。‘經(jīng)理想絞死你。’乍一聽到這個情報，我覺得還挺可笑的，但他卻顯得憂心忡忡。‘我最好不聲不響地離開，’他鄭重其事地說，‘我現(xiàn)在對庫爾茨已經(jīng)沒有什么用處了，他們很快就會隨便找個借口把我趕走。還有什么可以阻止他們呢？離這里三百英里就有一個軍營。’‘既然如此，’我說，‘要是你在附近有土人朋友，也許你最好盡快去投奔他們。’‘有很多，’他說，‘他們都很單純——反正我也無求于他們。’他咬著唇站著，又說：‘我不希望這里的白人受到任何傷害，但當(dāng)然我更為關(guān)心的是庫爾茨先生的名聲——但您是我的同行兄弟，因此——’‘別擔(dān)心，’我過了一會兒說，‘我會好好保全庫爾茨先生的名聲。’我自己也不知道，說這句話有幾分是出于真心實意。

He informed me, lowering his voice, that it was Kurtz who had ordered the attack to be made on the steamer.‘He hated sometimes the idea of being taken away-and then again……But I don’t understand these matters. I am a simple man.He thought it would scare you away-that you would give it up, thinking him dead.I could not stop him.Oh, I had an awful time of it this last month.‘’Very well，‘I said.’He is all right now.‘’Ye-e-es，‘he muttered, not very convinced apparently.’Thanks，‘said I；’I shall keep my eyes open.‘’But quiet-eh?‘he urged, anxiously.’It would be awful for his reputation if anybody here—‘I promised a complete discretion with great gravity.’I have a canoe and three black fellows waiting not very far.I am off.Could you give me a few Martini-Henry cartridges?‘I could, and did, with proper secrecy.He helped himself, with a wink at me, to a handful of my tobacco.’Between sailors-you know-good English tobacco.‘At the door of the pilot-house he turned round—’I say, haven‘t you a pair of shoes you could spare?’He raised one leg.‘Look.’The soles were tied with knotted strings sandal-wise under his bare feet.I rooted out an old pair, at which he looked with admiration before tucking it under his left arm.One of his pockets（bright red）was bulging with cartridges, from the other（dark blue）peeped‘Towson’s Inquiry，‘etc.，etc.He seemed to think himself excellently well equipped for a renewed encounter with the wilderness.’Ah！I‘ll never, never meet such a man again.You ought to have heard him recite poetry-his own too it was, he told me.Poetry！’He rolled his eyes at the recollection of these delights.‘Oh, he enlarged my mind！’‘Goodbye，’said I.He shook hands and vanished in the night.Sometimes I ask myself whether I had ever really seen him-whether it was possible to meet sucha phenomenon！……
他壓低聲音對我說，正是庫爾茨先生命令向汽船發(fā)動攻擊的。‘有時他想到有人要把他趕走，就滿心怨恨——那時就是……但我想不明白這些事情，我的頭腦太簡單。他以為那能把你們嚇跑——你們會以為他已經(jīng)死了，就知難而退。我阻止不了他。唉，最近這一個月真是太折磨人了。’‘現(xiàn)在好了，’我說，‘他沒事了。’‘也許——是吧。’他咕噥道，明顯還有幾分懷疑。‘謝謝，’我說，‘我會小心注意的。’‘記得不要說出去——好嗎？’他緊張地懇求我，‘要是這里有人——他可就身敗名裂了。’我極其嚴(yán)肅地向他發(fā)誓，保證只字不提。‘有一只獨木舟和三個黑人兄弟在等著我，就在這附近。我這就走。你能給我一些馬蒂尼-亨利槍的子彈嗎？’當(dāng)然沒問題，我趕緊偷偷給了他一些，沒有人注意到。他向我眨眨眼，不問自取地從我那里抓了一把煙絲。‘咱們可是好兄弟——多么棒的英國煙絲。’他剛走到駕駛室的門口，又轉(zhuǎn)過身來——‘喂，你有沒有多余的鞋子？’他把一條腿抬起來。‘看。’他拿幾根打滿結(jié)的繩子把鞋底捆在光腳下面，跟穿著草鞋似的。我翻出一雙舊鞋來，他美美地看了一眼，就把它塞進(jìn)左邊腋下。他許多口袋中的一個（紅得發(fā)亮的）被子彈繃得鼓鼓的，另一個（暗藍(lán)色）塞著《陶森格物錄》，其他口袋也裝滿了東西。他似乎認(rèn)為自己這身裝備已經(jīng)無懈可擊，完全可以再去與荒野纏斗一番。‘啊，我將永遠(yuǎn)，永遠(yuǎn)不會再遇到這樣一個人了。你真該聽聽他的詩朗誦——而且他告訴我那是他自己寫的詩！他會寫詩啊！’回想起這些快樂的時光，他的眼里泛起幸福的光彩。‘啊，他使我豁然開朗！’‘再會。’我說。他和我握握手，走進(jìn)凄迷的夜色之中。有時候，我不禁問自己，我到底是否真的見過他——世間到底有沒有這樣一個奇人呢！……

When I woke up shortly after midnight his warning came to my mind with its hint of danger that seemed, in the starred darkness, real enough to make me get up for the purpose of having a look round. On the hill a big fre burned, illuminating ftfully a crooked corner of the station-house.One of the agents with a picket of a few of our blacks, armed for the purpose, was keeping guard over the ivory；but deep within the forest, red gleams that wavered, that seemed to sink and rise from the ground amongst confused columnar shapes of intense blackness, showed the exact position of the camp where Mr.Kurtzs adorers were keeping their uneasy vigil.The monotonous beating of a big drum flled the air with muffed shocks and a lingering vibration.A steady droning sound of many men chanting each to himself some weird incantation came out from the black, fat wall of the woods as the humming of bees comes out of a hive, and had a strange narcotic effect upon my half-awake senses.I believe I dozed off leaning over the rail, till an abrupt burst of yells, an overwhelming outbreak of a pent-up and mysterious frenzy, woke me up in a bewildered wonder.It was cut short all at once, and the low droning went on with an effect of audible and soothing silence.I glanced casually into the little cabin.A light was burning within, but Mr.Kurtz was not there.
剛過午夜，我猛然醒來，想起他的警告。這個夜晚繁星點點，那個警告里暗示的危險，越想越真實。我趕忙起身四處走動，看看有沒有什么風(fēng)吹草動。山上有一個大火堆，明明滅滅地照出貿(mào)易站大樓一個塌陷了的角落。一個代理人帶著船上的幾個黑人正在巡邏，手持武器，把守著那些象牙。而在森林深處，紅光閃爍不定，仿佛躲在一堆漆黑的亂柱后面，忽而躥出地面，忽而又逃回地底。庫爾茨的信徒們就駐扎在那里，忐忑不安地徹夜守望著。滿耳都是單調(diào)的鼓聲，滯悶沉重，震顫不絕。樹林像一堵漆黑平滑的墻，背后有很多男人綿綿不絕地自顧自念著某種怪異的咒語，那聲音好像從蜂巢里傳出來的嗡嗡聲一樣，聽得半夢半醒的我昏昏欲睡。我想我一定是倚在汽船的欄桿上睡著了。一陣平地驚雷一般的嘶吼聲，仿佛是某種詭異的憤怒之情在久遭壓抑之后突然爆發(fā)，把我驚醒了，我在迷糊中有點手足無措。嘶吼聲戛然而止，只剩下那低低的嗡嗡聲，仿佛是聽得見的寂靜，讓人心下安然。我下意識地朝小木屋掃了一眼。屋里點著一盞燈，但庫爾茨先生不見了。

I think I would have raised an outcry if I had believed my eyes. But I didnt believe them at frst-the thing seemed so impossible.The fact is I was completely unnerved by a sheer blank fright, pure abstract terror, unconnected with any distinct shape of physical danger.What made this emotion so overpowering was-how shall I defne it?—the moral shock I received, as if something altogether monstrous, intolerable to thought and odious to the soul, had been thrust upon me unexpectedly.This lasted of course the merest fraction of a second, and then the usual sense of commonplace, deadly danger, the possibility of a sudden onslaughtand massacre, or something of the kind, which I saw impending, was positively welcome and composing.It pacifed me, in fact, so much, that I did not raise an alarm.
如果我當(dāng)時相信了自己的眼睛，一定會當(dāng)即尖叫一聲。但我一開始真的無法相信它們——那種事實在是太離奇。實際上，我被嚇壞了，這種恐懼毫無內(nèi)容，純粹是恐懼本身，與有形的切身危險一點關(guān)系也沒有。這種感情之所以如此排山倒海——我該怎么說？——是因為我受到了精神上的震撼，好像有人把某種猙獰可怖的東西，不堪細(xì)思，令人本能地厭惡的，突如其來地塞進(jìn)我的懷里。這當(dāng)然只是轉(zhuǎn)瞬即逝的感覺，緊接著涌上來的，是那種普通的危機(jī)感，也許致命的危險近在咫尺，突襲和大屠殺隨時可能爆發(fā)，諸如此類的，都是燃眉之急。然而，這種感覺真的舒服得多。我迅速鎮(zhèn)靜了下來，實際上，它的效果是如此明顯，以至于我沒有高聲發(fā)出警報。

There was an agent buttoned up inside an ulster and sleeping on a chair on deck within three feet of me. The yells had not awakened him；he snored very slightly；I left him to his slumbers and leaped ashore.I did not betray Mr.Kurtz-it was ordered I should never betray him-it was written I should be loyal to the nightmare of my choice.I was anxious to deal with this Shadow by myself alone-and to this day I dont know why I was so jealous of sharing with any one the peculiar blackness of that experience.
有一個代理人，穿著一件阿爾斯特寬大衣，把扣子扣得嚴(yán)嚴(yán)實實，睡在甲板上一張椅子里，距離我不到三英尺。那陣喊叫聲沒有吵醒他，他鼾聲細(xì)細(xì)。我沒有擾他清夢，兀自跳上了岸。我沒有出賣庫爾茨先生——這是上天的命令——我選擇了這個噩夢，這是我的命。我迫不及待地要與這個幽靈單打獨斗——直到今天，我也不知道為什么我如此吝嗇于與任何其他人分享那段極端邪惡的經(jīng)歷。

As soon as I got on the bank I saw a trail-a broad trail through the grass. I remember the exultation with which I said to myself，‘He can’t walk-he is crawling on all-fours-I‘ve got him.’The grass was wet with dew.I strode rapidly with clenched fsts.I fancy I had some vague notion of falling upon him and giving him a drubbing.I dont know.I had some imbecile thoughts.The knitting old woman with the cat obtruded herself upon my memory as a most improper person to be sitting at the other end of such an affair.I saw a row of pilgrims squirting lead in the air out of Winchesters held to the hip.I thought I would never get back to the steamer, and imagined myself living alone and unarmed in the woods to an advanced age.Such silly things-you know.And I remember I confounded the beat of the drum with the beating of my heart, and was pleased at its calm regularity.
一上岸，我就看見一條剛剛被人踩出來的小路——穿過草叢，很寬。我記得自己高興極了，對自己說：‘他走不了——他是用四肢在爬——他跑不掉的。’草葉濕濕的，沾滿了露水。我握著拳頭，大步流星地向前走。我一定是在模模糊糊地想，我要撲到他身上打他一頓。我記不清了。當(dāng)時我的腦海里萌生出一些很蠢的念頭。那個織毛線的老女人和那她膝上那只貓闖進(jìn)了我的記憶，在這樣一件壯舉的另一端，竟然如此不合時宜地坐著那樣一個人。我看見朝圣者們一字排開，把溫徹斯特步槍抵在髖骨上，朝天開槍。我想，我永遠(yuǎn)也不要回到汽船上，我開始想象自己手無寸鐵地孤身生活在森林中，直到白發(fā)蒼蒼，老態(tài)龍鐘。就是諸如此類的蠢念頭。我還記得自己把鼓聲聽成了心跳聲，那平穩(wěn)的節(jié)律讓我心情愉悅。

I kept to the track though-then stopped to listen. The night was very clear：a dark blue space, sparkling with dew and starlight, in which black things stood very still.I thought I could see a kind of motion ahead of me.I was strangely cocksure of everything that night.I actually left the track and ran in a wide semicircle（I verily believe chuckling to myself）so as to get in front of that stir, of that motion I had seen-if indeed I had seen anything.I was circumventing Kurtz as though it had been a boyish game.
盡管如此，我一直沿那條小路走著——不時停下腳步，凝神靜聽。夜色澄瑩，四周一片玄青色，露珠和星星清輝點點，然而在這片夜色里，仿佛潛伏著許多黑影。我好像看到前頭有什么東西在動。很奇怪地，那天晚上我在每一件事情上都毫無道理地充滿了自信。我離開了那條小路，繞了一個大彎（我毫不懷疑，自己當(dāng)時一定在暗暗發(fā)笑），以便繞到那些騷動不安的東西前頭——如果我真的看見了什么東西的話。我要去截住庫爾茨，好像正在玩小孩的追逐游戲一樣。

I came upon him, and, if he had not heard me coming, I would have fallen over him too, but he got up in time. He rose, unsteady, long, pale, indistinct, like a vapour exhaled by the earth, and swayed slightly, misty and silent before me；while at my back the fres loomed between the trees, and the murmur of many voices issued from the forest.I had cut him off cleverly；but when actually confronting him I seemed to come to my senses, I saw the danger in its right proportion.It was by no means over yet.Suppose he began to shout?Though he could hardly stand, there was still plenty of vigour in his voice.‘Go away-hide yourself，’he said, in that profound tone.It was very awful.I glanced back.We were within thirty yards from the nearest fire.A black figure stood up, strode on long black legs, waving long black arms, across the glow.It had horns-antelope horns, I think-on its head.Some sorcerer, some witch-man, no doubt：it looked fend-like enough.‘Do you know what you are doing?’I whispered.‘Perfectly，’he answered, raising his voice for that single word：it sounded to me far off and yet loud, like a hail through a speaking-trumpet.If he makes a row we are lost, I thought to myself.This clearly was not a case for fsticuffs, even apart from the very natural aversion I had to beat that Shadow-this wandering and tormented thing.‘You will be lost，’I said—‘utterly lost.’One gets sometimes such a fash of inspiration, you know.I did say the right thing, though indeed he could not have been more irretrievably lost than he was at this very moment, when the foundations of our intimacy were being laid-to endure-to endure-even to the end-even beyond.
我一頭撞上了他。要不是他聽到了我的腳步聲，我肯定會摔到他身上去。他連忙顫顫巍巍地站了起來，細(xì)長，蒼白，虛弱，好像從泥土里冒出來的一縷水蒸氣，朦朦朧朧地在我面前裊裊升起，悄無聲息。與此同時，在我身后，火光在樹與樹之間跳躍著，一片嗡嗡的低語聲從森林里流淌而出。我敏捷地截住了他，而等我終于站在他的面前，我似乎猛然驚醒，一下子意識到情況的嚴(yán)峻。危機(jī)遠(yuǎn)未過去。他要喊起來怎么辦？盡管他幾乎連站都站不穩(wěn)，他的聲音依然渾厚有力。‘快走開——去躲起來。’他聲音深沉地說，聽得我毛骨悚然。我回頭看了一眼。我們離最近的火堆還不到三十碼。一個黑乎乎的人影站了起來，邁開又黑又長的雙腿，搖擺著一雙又黑又長的手臂，在火光中走來走去。這是個頭上長著角的黑影——大概是羚羊角吧。他一定是個魔法師或巫師：簡直像一個惡鬼。‘你知不知道自己在干什么？’我低聲說。‘我很清楚。’他故意大聲說出這幾個字來，聽起來是如此的遙遠(yuǎn)，卻又如此響亮，好像是用擴(kuò)音喇叭喊出來的。如果他嚷嚷起來，我們就遭殃了，我暗暗想道。此時此境并不適合動武，況且對這個幽靈——這個流離無依且飽受折磨的可憐蟲，我也下不去手。‘你這是有去無回，’我說，‘你會徹底完蛋的。’人有時候就是會這樣靈光一閃，是不是？我確實講得沒錯，盡管實際上當(dāng)時他已經(jīng)一敗涂地，不可能輸?shù)酶鼞K。而也正是在那一刻，我們建立起了堅實的友誼，變得親密無間——并將一直——一直親密下去——直到世界末日——甚至更久。

‘I had immense plans，’he muttered irresolutely.‘Yes，’said I；‘but if you try to shout I’ll smash your head with—‘There was not a stick ora stone near.’I will throttle you for good，‘I corrected myself.’I was on the threshold of great things，‘he pleaded, in a voice of longing, with a wistfulness of tone that made my blood run cold.’And now for this stupid scoundrel—‘’Your success in Europe is assured in any case，‘I affrmed, steadily. I did not want to have the throttling of him, you understand-and indeed it would have been very little use for any practical purpose.I tried to break the spell-the heavy, mute spell of the wilderness-that seemed to draw him to its pitiless breast by the awakening of forgotten and brutal instincts, by the memory of gratifed and monstrous passions.This alone, I was convinced, had driven him out to the edge of the forest, to the bush, towards the gleam of fres, the throb of drums, the drone of weird incantations；this alone had beguiled his unlawful soul beyond the bounds of permitted aspirations.And, don’t you see, the terror of the position was not in being knocked on the head-though I had a very lively sense of that danger too-but in this, that I had to deal with a being to whom I could not appeal in the name of anything high or low.I had, even like the niggers, to invoke him-himself-his own exalted and incredible degradation.There was nothing either above or below him, and I knew it.He had kicked himself loose of the earth.Confound the man！he had kicked the very earth to pieces.He was alone, and I before him did not know whether I stood on the ground or foated in the air.I‘ve been telling you what we said-repeating the phrases we pronounced-but what’s the good?They were common everyday words-the familiar, vague sounds exchanged on every waking day of life.But what of that?They had behind them, to my mind, the terrifc suggestiveness of words heard in dreams, of phrases spoken in nightmares.Soul！If anybody had ever struggled with a soul, I am the man.And I wasn‘t arguing with a lunatic either.Believe me or not, his intelligence was perfectly clear-concentrated, it is true, upon himself with horrible intensity, yet clear；and therein was my onlychance-barring, of course, the killing him there and then, which wasn’t so good, on account of unavoidable noise.But his soul was mad.Being alone in the wilderness, it had looked within itself, and, by heavens！I tell you, it had gone mad.I had-for my sins, I suppose-to go through the ordeal of looking into it myself.No eloquence could have been so withering to ones belief in mankind as his final burst of sincerity.He struggled with himself, too.I saw it-I heard it.I saw the inconceivable mystery of a soul that knew no restraint, no faith, and no fear, yet struggling blindly with itself.I kept my head pretty well；but when I had him at last stretched on the couch, I wiped my forehead, while my legs shook under me as though I had carried half a ton on my back down that hill.And yet I had only supported him, his bony arm clasped round my neck-and he was not much heavier than a child.
‘我有許多宏偉的計劃。’他吞吞吐吐地嘟囔道。‘我知道，’我說，‘但要是你敢喊出來，我就立馬砸碎你的腦袋，用——’附近一根棍子、一塊石頭也看不見，‘我就立馬掐死你，一了百了。’我改口說。‘我正準(zhǔn)備干一番驚天動地的大事業(yè)，’他用充滿熱望的聲音和滿懷憧憬的語氣哀求道，聽得我心都涼了，‘現(xiàn)在卻因為這個愚蠢的混賬家伙——’‘你放心，回到歐洲，人們一定還會把你當(dāng)成英雄。’我堅定地斷言道。我不想掐死他——那樣做沒有半點實際的好處。我是想破除施在他身上的魔咒——荒野施在他身上的魔咒，無聲無息，卻猶如千鈞重負(fù)，似乎是想通過喚醒遺失于記憶深處的獸性本能，喚醒扭曲的欲望和畸形的熱情得到滿足時的回憶，把他拉入自己那冷酷無情的懷抱。我相信，正是這個魔咒牽引著他，把他引到這片森林的邊緣，引入?yún)擦掷?，引他飛蛾撲火一般撲向那熊熊火光，那隆隆鼓聲和那誦念詭異咒語的嗡嗡聲。正是這個魔咒，蠱惑了他不安分的靈魂，使他犯下了人神共憤的罪行。而且，你們還不明白嗎，那時的危險并不在于被人一棍打破腦袋——盡管我非常強烈地感到那隨時可能發(fā)生——而在于我不得不與這個人周旋，不論我對他講最崇高的話，或使用最下流的手段，他都無動于衷。我甚至不得不像那些黑人一樣乞求他的庇佑——求助于他本人——求助于他引以為傲，卻令人難以置信的墮落無恥。沒有比他更崇高的事物，也沒有比他更下流的事物，對此我心知肚明。他已經(jīng)一腳把地球踢開了。這個魔鬼！他還把這個地球踢得支離破碎。他超然絕世，在他面前，我不知道自己是站在地上還是懸在空中。我一直在跟你們講我們談話的內(nèi)容——重復(fù)一字一句——但那又有什么意義呢？它們只是再平常不過的日常用語——熟悉而模糊的聲音，我們在生命中每一個清醒的日子里跟別人聊天時都會用到。盡管如此，我卻覺得在這些字句背后，隱藏著夢里聽到的話語，做噩夢時的夢囈，暗含駭人的啟示。靈魂！如果曾經(jīng)有人與一個靈魂苦苦纏斗過，這個人就是我。而且這個與我爭論的人并不是一個瘋子。你們相信也罷，不信也罷，他絕對神志清醒——他的確把全副精神只放在了自己身上，專注得可怖，但他的思維紋絲不亂。意識到這一點，我看到了一線生機(jī)——我當(dāng)然不能在彼時彼地殺死他，因為他一定會大喊大叫，那我就完了。但他的靈魂已經(jīng)瘋掉了。在荒野中，它是如此孤獨，它看透了自己，天??！它怎么能不發(fā)瘋。我也被迫——我想我也算是罪有應(yīng)得——親身經(jīng)受把它看透的痛苦。他臨終傾吐的由衷之言，令人對人類徹底寒心，與之相比，一切滔滔雄辯都顯得蒼白無力。他也在與自己苦苦搏斗，我看得出來——我聽得出來。我看到了這個靈魂里難以想象的奧秘，它天不怕地不怕，不信神不信鬼，無畏無懼，只知道盲目地和自己過不去。我的頭腦一直很清醒，但當(dāng)我終于把他放進(jìn)沙發(fā)，幫他平躺好，我已經(jīng)滿頭大汗，兩條腿直打戰(zhàn)，好像我是背了半噸重的東西下山?？蓪嶋H上我不過是攙著他走，他也只是把一條瘦骨嶙峋的手臂緊緊扣在我的脖子上——而且，他并不比一個孩子重多少。

When next day we left at noon, the crowd, of whose presence behind the curtain of trees I had been acutely conscious all the time, fowed out of the woods again, flled the clearing, covered the slope with a mass of naked, breathing, quivering bronze bodies. I steamed up a bit, then swung down-stream, and two thousand eyes followed the evolutions of the splashing, thumping, fery river-demon beating the water with its terrible tail and breathing black smoke into the air.In front of the first rank, along the river, three men, plastered with bright red earth from head to foot, strutted to and fro restlessly.When we came abreast again, they faced the river, stamped their feet, nodded their horned heads, swayed their scarlet bodies；they shook towards the ferce river-demon a bunch of black feathers, a mangy skin with a pendent tail-something that looked like a dried gourd；they shouted periodically together strings of amazing words that resembled no sounds of human language；and the deep murmurs of the crowd, interrupted suddenly, were like the responses of some satanic litany.
第二天中午我們開船的時候，一直躲在樹幕背后的那群人又從森林里洶涌而出，擠滿了空地，占滿了山坡，到處是青銅色的身體，裸露著，呼吸著，顫抖著。其實我早就敏銳地察覺到他們躲在那里了。我往上游駛了一段，然后掉頭向下游開去。兩千雙眼睛盯著這個狂怒的河中巨魔，看著它嘭嘭咚咚地前進(jìn)，濺起陣陣水花，一邊用一條可怕的尾巴拍著水，向天空呼出滾滾黑煙。在沿河第一排土人的面前，有三個從頭到腳涂滿鮮紅色泥土的人，焦急地來回踱著步。我們再次經(jīng)過時，他們面朝河流不斷跺腳，使勁兒點著戴著犄角裝飾的頭，猩紅色的身體左搖右擺。他們沖狂怒的河魔晃動一捆黑色的羽毛，一張拖著尾巴的斑紋獸皮——那獸皮看起來像個干葫蘆。他們隔一會兒就喊出一連串古怪的話，不像是人類的語言。而那片突然被打斷的嗡嗡聲，低沉深邃，仿佛是對某種邪惡禱文的回應(yīng)。

We had carried Kurtz into the pilot-house：there was more air there. Lying on the couch, he stared through the open shutter.There was an eddy in the mass of human bodies, and the woman with helmeted head and tawny cheeks rushed out to the very brink of the stream.She put out her hands, shouted something, and all that wild mob took up the shout in a roaring chorus of articulated, rapid, breathless utterance.
我們把庫爾茨抬進(jìn)了駕駛室：那里空氣更充足。他躺在沙發(fā)上，百葉窗沒有放下來，他總是望出窗外。岸上人潮涌動。那個把頭發(fā)盤成黑盔的黃褐色皮膚女人從人群中沖出來，跑到河邊。她伸出雙手喊了一句不知道什么話，那群狂暴的土人馬上齊聲怒號起來。那片怒號，清晰，急促，聲嘶力竭。

‘Do you understand this?’I asked.
‘您聽得懂他們在喊什么嗎？’我問。

He kept on looking out past me with fiery, longing eyes, with a mingled expression of wistfulness and hate. He made no answer, but I saw a smile, a smile of indefnable meaning, appear on his colourless lips that a moment after twitched convulsively.‘Do I not?’he said slowly, gasping, as if the words had been torn out of him by a supernatural power.
他越過我看過去，怒火熊熊的目光里充滿渴望，臉上交織著惆悵和憎恨的表情。他沒有答話，但我看見，他那蒼白的嘴唇露出一絲微笑，一絲耐人尋味的微笑。片刻之后，它抽搐了一下。‘我怎么會聽不懂？’他緩緩地說，喘著氣，好像這句話是一個超自然的力量從他身上撕下來的。

I pulled the string of the whistle, and I did this because I saw the pilgrims on deck getting out their rifes with an air of anticipating a jolly lark. At the sudden screech there was a movement of abject terror through that wedged mass of bodies.‘Don’t！don‘t you frighten them away，’cried someone on deck disconsolately.I pulled the string time after time.They broke and ran, they leaped, they crouched, they swerved, they dodged the fying terror of the sound.The three red chaps had fallen fat, face down on the shore, as though they had been shot dead.Only the barbarous and superb woman did not so much as finch, and stretched tragically her bare arms after us over the sombre and glittering river.
“我拉響了汽笛。我這么做是因為我看到甲板上的朝圣者們都興沖沖地跑去拿來復(fù)槍，看他們的神情，好像對這個快樂的游戲期待萬分。聽到突如其來的汽笛尖叫聲，一種無助的恐懼席卷了那個楔形的人群。”停手！別嚇跑他們！甲板上有人惱火地喊道。我拉了一下又一下，土人們四散奔走，有的跳來跳去，有的蹲下身，有的團(tuán)團(tuán)打轉(zhuǎn)，竭力想避開隨著汽笛聲飛過去的恐怖災(zāi)難。那三個猩紅色的家伙嚇得貼著地趴在河邊，好像被射死了一樣。唯獨那個野蠻卻艷麗的女人毫不畏縮，在我們后面，隔著那條波光粼粼卻森冷陰郁的河流，哀傷地張開了裸露的雙臂。

And then that imbecile crowd down on the deck started their little fun, and I could see nothing more for smoke.
接著，下面甲板上那群蠢材開始玩他們的小游戲，一陣濃煙擋住了我的視線。

The brown current ran swiftly out of the heart of darkness, bearing us down towards the sea with twice the speed of our upward progress；and Kurtz‘s life was running swiftly too, ebbing, ebbing out of his heart into the sea of inexorable time. The manager was very placid, he had no vital anxieties now, he took us both in with a comprehensive and satisfedglance：the’affair‘had come off as well as could be wished.I saw the time approaching when I would be left alone of the party of’unsound method.The pilgrims looked upon me with disfavor.I was, so to speak, numbered with the dead.It is strange how I accepted this unforeseen partnership, this choice of nightmares forced upon me in the tenebrous land invaded by these mean and greedy phantoms.
褐色的河水迅疾地從黑暗深處奔騰而下，把我們送往大海，速度是我們沿河上溯時的兩倍。庫爾茨的生命也在急促流逝，退潮一般，從他內(nèi)心涌退，退入無情的時間之海里。經(jīng)理一副安詳?shù)臉幼?，現(xiàn)在他再不必為致命的危險擔(dān)驚受怕了。他偷偷用深遠(yuǎn)而滿足的眼神瞥了我們兩人一眼：這個‘事件’的收場，不能再美滿了。我看得出，很快我就會變成‘齷齪的手段’的唯一擁護(hù)者。朝圣者們都對我嗤之以鼻。這么說吧，我和這個瀕死的人是一丘之貉。在那片橫遭這幫刻薄貪婪的惡鬼入侵的神秘土地上，我竟然在毫無準(zhǔn)備的情況下，心甘情愿地跟庫爾茨站在了一邊，并且義無反顧地接受了這個強加在我身上的噩夢，說起來也真是夠奇怪的。

Kurtz discoursed. A voice！a voice！It rang deep to the very last.It survived his strength to hide in the magnifcent folds of eloquence the barren darkness of his heart.Oh, he struggled！he struggled！The wastes of his weary brain were haunted by shadowy images now-images of wealth and fame revolving obsequiously round his unextinguishable gift of noble and lofty expression.My Intended, my ivory, my station, my career, my ideas-these were the subjects for the occasional utterances of elevated sentiments.The shade of the original Kurtz frequented the bedside of the hollow sham, whose fate it was to be buried presently in the mould of primeval earth.But both the diabolic love and the unearthly hate of the mysteries it had penetrated fought for the possession of that soul satiated with primitive emotions, avid of lying fame, of sham distinction, of all the appearances of success and power.
庫爾茨又開腔了。一個聲音！一個聲音！直到最后一刻，它依然是如此的深沉渾厚。在生龍活虎的時候，庫爾茨能用那些雄奇瑰麗的言辭掩蓋住內(nèi)心那片空虛的黑暗，直到現(xiàn)在，即使他已經(jīng)油盡燈枯，那聲音依然縈繞不散。啊，他也斗爭過！他斗爭過！現(xiàn)在，他的精神已經(jīng)疲倦不堪，只剩一片廢墟壞址，那些陰暗的鬼影卻徘徊不去——名和利的鬼影，眾星捧月一般，低眉順眼地圍著他卓絕高貴的不朽辯才團(tuán)團(tuán)轉(zhuǎn)。我的未婚妻，我的象牙，我的貿(mào)易站，我的事業(yè)，我的思想——都是偶然會泄露出說話者高尚情懷的話題。從前那個庫爾茨的幽靈常常在這個空洞的軀殼旁邊出沒，這個軀殼只是一個贗品，注定馬上就要被埋進(jìn)這片原始土地的一個土丘里。這個贗品曾徹悟到謎一樣的人生里包含的殘忍的愛和超脫的恨，而這愛和恨，你爭我奪，都想把這個浸滿原始感情的靈魂，這個汲汲于鏡花水月般的功名利祿的靈魂據(jù)為己有。

Sometimes he was contemptibly childish. He desired to have kings meet him at railway-stations on his return from some ghastly Nowhere, where he intended to accomplish great things.‘You show them you have in hand something that is really proftable, and then there will be no limits to the recognition of your ability，’he would say.‘Of course you must take care of the motives-right motives-always.’The long reaches that were like one and the same reach, monotonous bends that were exactly alike, slipped past the steamer with their multitude of secular trees looking patiently after this grimy fragment of another world, the forerunner of change, of conquest, of trade, of massacres, of blessings.I looked ahead-piloting.‘Close the shutter，’said Kurtz suddenly one day；‘I can’t bear to look at this.‘I did so.There was a silence.’Oh, but I will wring your heart yet！he cried at the invisible wilderness.
他有時幼稚得令人生厭。他滿心憧憬著，當(dāng)有朝一日他從某個蠻荒之地成就了豐功偉業(yè)之后，衣錦還鄉(xiāng)之時，會看到許多國王在火車站恭迎他。‘只要你能向他們展示出賺錢的本領(lǐng)，他們就會無限度地認(rèn)可你的能力。’他會這么說，‘當(dāng)然你不能為非作歹——動機(jī)一定要冠冕堂皇——謹(jǐn)記。’汽船在一成不變的漫長河道上前行著，駛過如出一轍的河灣，那些蔥蘢的原始大樹，耐心地目送著它，這來自另一個世界的骯臟碎片，變革、征服、貿(mào)易、屠殺和幸福生活的先驅(qū)。我頭也不回——我在駕船。‘關(guān)掉百葉窗，’一天庫爾茨突然說，‘這景色令我發(fā)狂。’我照做了。駕駛室陷入一片寂靜之中。‘?。∥疫€會回來把你折磨得肝腸寸斷的！’他對著看不見的荒野大喊。

We broke down-as I had expected-and had to lie up for repairs at the head of an island. This delay was the frst thing that shook Kurtz‘s confidence.One morning he gave me a packet of papers and a photograph-the lot tied together with a shoe-string.’Keep this for me，‘he said.’This noxious fool‘（meaning the manager）’is capable of prying into my boxes when I am not looking.‘In the afternoon I saw him.He was lying on his back with closed eyes, and I withdrew quietly, but I heard him mutter，’Live rightly, die, die……‘I listened.There was nothing more.Was he rehearsing some speech in his sleep, or was it a fragment of a phrase from some newspaper article?He had been writing for the papers and meant to do so again，’for the furthering of my ideas.It‘s a duty.’
汽船壞掉了——不出我所料——我們只好在一個小島的一角停船維修。這次耽擱破天荒地動搖了庫爾茨的自信心。一天早晨他交給我一包文件和照片——用一根鞋帶捆在一起的。‘請幫我保存好它。’他說，‘這個可惡的笨蛋（指經(jīng)理）一趁我注意不到，就會把我的箱子翻個底朝天，他真做得出來。’下午我去看他時，他仰躺著，雙目緊閉，我便安靜地離開，但忽然聽見他模糊不清地說：‘光明磊落地活著，死，死……’我側(cè)耳傾聽。他沒有再說話。他是在夢中排練著某次演講，還是在斟酌著某篇報文的字句？他一直有給報紙寫文章，并打算繼續(xù)寫下去：‘為了傳播我的思想。這是一個義務(wù)。’

His was an impenetrable darkness. I looked at him as you peer down at a man who is lying at the bottom of a precipice where the sun never shines.But I had not much time to give him, because I was helping the engine-driver to take to pieces the leaky cylinders, to straighten a bent connecting-rod, and in other such matters.I lived in an infernal mess of rust, filings, nuts, bolts, spanners, hammers, ratchet-drills-things I abominate, because I dont get on with them.I tended the little forge we fortunately had aboard；I toiled wearily in a wretched scrapheap-unless I had the shakes too bad to stand.
他是一片密不透風(fēng)的黑暗。我看著他，就好像在俯瞰一個躺在懸崖底的男人，陽光永遠(yuǎn)無法到達(dá)的懸崖底。但我能用來照顧他的時間并不多，因為我要幫輪機(jī)師拆開漏水的氣缸，掰直彎掉的連桿，還有其他諸如此類的事情。我每天都生活在一大堆混亂的銹鐵、銼刀、螺母、螺絲、扳手、錘子和曲柄鉆之中，恍如置身地獄——我恨透了它們，因為它們非常不聽使喚。我不得不頻繁地跑到那個小小的打鐵房里去，謝天謝地我們船上有一個打鐵房。我在這堆廢銅爛鐵中沒日沒夜地拼命工作著——直到兩條腿顫得站不住才去休息。

One evening coming in with a candle I was startled to hear him say a little tremulously，‘I am lying here in the dark waiting for death.’The light was within a foot of his eyes. I forced myself to murmur，‘Oh, nonsense！’and stood over him as if transfxed.
一天晚上，我點著一根蠟燭走進(jìn)駕駛室，聽見他在微微顫抖著說：‘我這是躺在黑暗中等死。’把我嚇了一跳。我把蠟燭湊近他的臉，離他的眼睛不到一英尺，勉強低聲說道：‘唉，別胡說！’我呆若木雞地站在他身旁，低頭看著他。

Anything approaching the change that came over his features I have never seen before, and hope never to see again. Oh, I wasnt touched.Iwas fascinated.It was as though a veil had been rent.I saw on that ivory face the expression of sombre pride, of ruthless power, of craven terror-of an intense and hopeless despair.Did he live his life again in every detail of desire, temptation, and surrender during that supreme moment of complete knowledge?He cried in a whisper at some image, at some vision-he cried out twice, a cry that was no more than a breath—
他的容貌扭曲了，我從沒見過這種變化，哪怕是近似的變化也沒有見過，也不想再見到。啊，我不是悲傷難抑，而是被迷住了。仿佛有人撕碎了他的面紗，那張象牙色的臉上，交織著陰森的驕傲、冷酷的威雄、懦弱的恐懼——一種激烈而徹底的絕望表情。在這個超凡的時刻，在他即將要大徹大悟之際，他是否在重溫他的人生，抽絲剝繭地反思每一個欲望、每一種誘惑和每一次墮落？他輕輕地喊出聲來，也許是對某個人影，也許是對某個場景——他喊了兩聲，輕得像是在喘氣——

‘The horror！The horror！’
‘好可怕！好可怕！’

I blew the candle out and left the cabin. The pilgrims were dining in the mess-room, and I took my place opposite the manager, who lifted his eyes to give me a questioning glance, which I successfully ignored.He leaned back, serene, with that peculiar smile of his sealing the unexpressed depths of his meanness.A continuous shower of small fies streamed upon the lamp, upon the cloth, upon our hands and faces.Suddenly the managers boy put his insolent black head in the doorway, and said in a tone of scathing contempt—
我吹熄蠟燭，離開了駕駛室。朝圣者們正在食堂吃飯，我在經(jīng)理對面坐下，他抬起頭，向我投來一瞥詢問的眼光，我不露痕跡地假裝沒有看見。他向后靠到椅背上，一臉安寧，帶著他特有的微笑，把他那深不見底的卑鄙輕輕藏起。無數(shù)小小的蒼蠅不斷地?fù)涞接蜔羯?，桌布上，我們的手上和臉上。?jīng)理的跟班突然從門外把那個傲慢無禮的黑腦袋伸進(jìn)來，用尖厲的輕蔑口吻說——

‘Mistah Kurtz-he dead.’
‘庫爾茨先生——死了。’

All the pilgrims rushed out to see. I remained, and went on with my dinner.I believe I was considered brutally callous.However, I did not eat much.There was a lamp in there-light, dont you know-and outside it was so beastly, beastly dark.I went no more near the remarkable man who had pronounced a judgment upon the adventures of his soul on this earth.The voice was gone.What else had been there?But I am of course aware that next day the pilgrims buried something in a muddy hole.
所有的朝圣者都沖出去看熱鬧。我一動不動，繼續(xù)吃飯。他們肯定認(rèn)為我鐵石心腸。但我不太吃得下。食堂里有一盞油燈——有一點光——而食堂外面是如此的黑暗，黑暗得猙獰兇殘。我再也沒有回到那個卓越的男人身旁，他對于自己的靈魂在這個地球上的冒險之旅，已經(jīng)宣布了最終定論。那個聲音消逝了。那里可曾有過什么東西？可我當(dāng)然知道，第二天朝圣者們把一個什么東西埋進(jìn)了一個臟污的泥洞里。

And then they very nearly buried me.
而他們差點連我也埋掉了。

However, as you see, I did not go to join Kurtz there and then. I did not.I remained to dream the nightmare out to the end, and to show my loyalty to Kurtz once more.Destiny.My destiny！Droll thing life is-that mysterious arrangement of merciless logic for a futile purpose.The most you can hope from it is some knowledge of yourself-thatcomes too late-a crop of unextinguishable regrets.I have wrestled with death.It is the most unexciting contest you can imagine.It takes place in an impalpable greyness, with nothing underfoot, with nothing around, without spectators, without clamour, without glory, without the great desire of victory, without the great fear of defeat, in a sickly atmosphere of tepid scepticism, without much belief in your own right, and still less in that of your adversary.If such is the form of ultimate wisdom, then life is a greater riddle than some of us think it to be.I was within a hair‘s-breadth of the last opportunity for pronouncement, and I found with humiliation that probably I would have nothing to say.This is the reason why I affrm that Kurtz was a remarkable man.He had something to say.He said it.Since I had peeped over the edge myself, I understand better the meaning of his stare, that could not see the fame of the candle, but was wide enough to embrace the whole universe, piercing enough to penetrate all the hearts that beat in the darkness.He had summed up-he had judged.’The horror！He was a remarkable man.After all, this was the expression of some sort of belief；it had candour, it had conviction, it had a vibrating note of revolt in its whisper, it had the appalling face of a glimpsed truth-the strange commingling of desire and hate.And it is not my own extremity I remember best-a vision of greyness without form filled with physical pain, and a careless contempt for the evanescence of all things-even of this pain itself.No！It is his extremity that I seem to have lived through.True, he had made that last stride, he had stepped over the edge, while I had been permitted to draw back my hesitating foot.And perhaps in this is the whole difference；perhaps all wisdom, and all truth, and all sincerity, are just compressed into that inappreciable moment of time in which we step over the threshold of the invisible.Perhaps！I like to think that my summing-up would not have been a word of careless contempt.Better his cry-much better.It was an affrmation, a moral victory paid for by innumerable defeats, by abominable terrors, by abominable satisfactions.But it was a victory！That is why I have remained loyal to Kurtz to the last, and even beyond, when a long time after I heard once more, not his own voice, but the echo of his magnifcent eloquence thrown to me from a soul as translucently pure as a cliff of crystal.
但是，你們也看見了，我沒有當(dāng)即隨庫爾茨而去。我沒有。我要留下來把這個噩夢做完，并再次表達(dá)我對庫爾茨的忠誠。命，這都是命！人生真令人哭笑不得——寡情少義的邏輯做出了種種神秘的安排，為的竟是讓人白辛苦一場！它能給你的，至多也不過是你對自己的一點點認(rèn)識——卻又總是來得太遲——只是一腔令人死不瞑目的余恨。我曾不顧一切地與死神搏斗。你們想象不出那有多無聊。身處一片混沌的灰色之中，腳下空無一物，四周空無一物，沒有觀眾，無人喝彩，毫不光榮，人既不無限渴望勝利，也不極度害怕失敗，那種氣氛溫溫吞吞、猶猶豫豫，令人作嘔，使你懷疑自己的權(quán)利，更加懷疑對手的權(quán)利。如果最高的智慧表現(xiàn)出來就是這副模樣，那人生必定是一個更大的謎，比某些人所想象的更為神秘。我當(dāng)時差點就有機(jī)會說出我對人生的定論，但我很羞恥地發(fā)現(xiàn)，即使我真的要說，也一個字都說不出來。這就是我敢確定庫爾茨很了不起的原因。他有話講。他講了出來。正因為我窺視到那條邊界另一邊的景象，我能更深刻地理解他的凝視，他看不到燭光，但那凝視是如此壯闊，足以容下整個宇宙，又是如此銳利，足以看透所有在黑暗中跳動著的心。他做出了總結(jié)——他下了定論。‘好可怕！’他是個了不起的人。畢竟，他表達(dá)了某種信念，內(nèi)里有坦率，有堅定，他顫抖著輕聲喊出了反抗的意念，讓我瞥見了人生真相的猙獰畫面——欲望和憎恨離奇地相互糾纏著。最令我刻骨銘心的，不是我當(dāng)時面臨的困境——而是一個無形的灰色場景，里面充滿了肉身的痛苦，以及對一切事物的幻滅都漠不關(guān)心的輕蔑——甚至包括這些痛苦本身的幻滅。不！我經(jīng)歷的仿佛是他的困境。沒錯，在我獲準(zhǔn)撤回猶疑的腳步之時，他邁出了那最后的一步，越過了邊界。也許正是這造成了天壤之別，也許所有的智慧，所有的真相，所有的誠意，全都壓縮在了那個驚鴻一瞥的時刻之中，在我們邁過門檻，步入看不見的世界那一刻。也許是吧！我真希望自己對人生的總結(jié)不會是一句冷漠而輕蔑的話。他的喊聲要好得多——好得多。那是一個斷言，一個道德上的勝利，用無數(shù)的失敗、可憎的恐懼和可憎的滿足作為代價換來的。但它是一個勝利！正因為如此，我直到最終，甚至更長久地，都會對庫爾茨忠心耿耿。直到很久之后，當(dāng)我又一次聽見，不是他本人的聲音，而是他那滔滔雄辯的回響，仿佛從一個像水晶懸崖般透亮的靈魂向我發(fā)出來的，我對他的忠誠依然如故。

No, they did not bury me, though there is a period of time which I remember mistily, with a shuddering wonder, like a passage through some inconceivable world that had no hope in it and no desire. I found myself back in the sepulchral city resenting the sight of people hurrying through the streets to filch a little money from each other, to devour their infamous cookery, to gulp their unwholesome beer, to dream their insignifcant and silly dreams.They trespassed upon my thoughts.They were intruders whose knowledge of life was to me an irritating pretence, because I felt so sure they could not possibly know the things I knew.Their bearing, which was simply the bearing of commonplace individuals going about their business in the assurance of perfect safety, was offensive to me like the outrageous fauntings of folly in the face of a danger it is unable to comprehend.I had no particular desire to enlighten them, but I had some diffculty in restraining myself from laughing in their faces, so full of stupid importance.I dare say I was not very well at that time.I tottered about the streets-there were various affairs to settle-grinning bitterly at perfectly respectable persons.I admit my behaviour was inexcusable, but then my temperature was seldom normal in these days.My dear aunt‘s endeavours to’nurse up my strength‘seemed altogether beside the mark.It was not my strength that wanted nursing, it was my imagination that wanted soothing.I kept the bundle of papers given me by Kurtz, not knowing exactly what to do with it.His mother had died lately, watched over, as I was told, by his Intended.A clean-shaved man, with an official manner and wearing gold-rimmed spectacles, called on me one day and made inquiries, at first circuitous, afterwards suavely pressing, about what he was pleased to denominate certain’documents.‘I was not surprised, because I had had two rows with the manager on the subject out there.I had refused to give up the smallest scrap out of that package, and I took the same attitude with the spectacled man.He became darkly menacing at last, and with much heat argued that the Company had the right to every bit of information about its’territories.‘And, said he，’Mr.Kurtz‘s knowledge of unexplored regions must have been necessarily extensive and peculiar-owing to his great abilities and to the deplorable circumstances in which he had been placed：therefore—’I assured him Mr.Kurtz‘s knowledge, however extensive, did not bear upon the problems of commerce or administration.He invoked then the name of science.’It would be an incalculable loss if，‘etc.，etc.I offered him the report on the’Suppression of Savage Customs，‘with the postscriptum torn off.He took it up eagerly, but ended by sniffng at it with an air of contempt.’This is not what we had a right to expect，‘he remarked.’Expect nothing else，‘I said.’There are only private letters.‘He withdrew upon some threat of legal proceedings, and I saw him no more；but another fellow, calling himself Kurtz’s cousin, appeared two days later, and was anxious to hear all the details about his dear relative‘s last moments.Incidentally he gave me to understand that Kurtz had been essentially a great musician.’There was the making of an immense success，‘said the man, who was an organist, I believe, with lank grey hair flowing over a greasy coat-collar.I had no reason to doubt his statement；and to this day I am unable to say what was Kurtz’s profession, whether he ever had any-which was the greatest of his talents.I had taken him for a painter who wrote for the papers, or else for a journalist who could paint-but even the cousin（who took snuff during the interview）could not tell mewhat he had been-exactly.He was a universal genius-on that point I agreed with the old chap, who thereupon blew his nose noisily into a large cotton handkerchief and withdrew in senile agitation, bearing off some family letters and memoranda without importance.Ultimately a journalist anxious to know something of the fate of his‘dear colleague’turned up.This visitor informed me Kurtz‘s proper sphere ought to have been politics’on the popular side.‘He had furry straight eyebrows, bristly hair cropped short, an eye-glass on a broad black ribbon, and, becoming expansive, confessed his opinion that Kurtz really couldn’t write a bit—‘but heavens！how that man could talk！He electrified large meetings.He had faith-don’t you see?—he had the faith.He could get himself to believe anything-anything.He would have been a splendid leader of an extreme party.‘’What party?‘I asked.’Any party，‘answered the other.’He was an-an-extremist.‘Did I not think so?I assented.Did I know, he asked, with a sudden fash of curiosity，’what it was that had induced him to go out there?‘’Yes，‘said I, and forthwith handed him the famous Report for publication, if he thought ft.He glanced through it hurriedly, mumbling all the time, judged’it would do，and took himself off with this plunder.
不，他們沒有把我埋掉。盡管我模糊地記得，有一段時間，我好像走在一條通道里，那通道穿過某個不可思議的世界，那里既沒有希望，也沒有欲望。每次想起來都有點毛骨悚然。我發(fā)現(xiàn)自己又回到了那個陰森的城市，無比憎惡地看著人們匆匆忙忙地穿過街道，趕著去從彼此身上占點小便宜，去風(fēng)卷殘云般吃掉惡心的飯食，去開懷暢飲骯臟的啤酒，去做無聊又愚蠢的夢。他們踐踏了我的思想。他們是入侵者，在我眼里，他們只不過是自欺欺人地裝作很了解人生，簡直令人生氣，因為我能感覺到，他們絕對不可能知道我所知道的事情。他們的神態(tài)舉止，縱使平凡得無可厚非，是平民百姓在高枕無憂、安居樂業(yè)時的平常表現(xiàn)，我卻越看越惱火，仿佛看到的是一群蠢材，危險已逼近眼前，他們不僅無法理解，渾然不覺，還要在那里大肆炫耀自己的愚蠢。我們沒有沖動要去喚醒他們，但我不太克制得住自己當(dāng)面嘲笑他們有多么愚蠢，多么自以為是。我想我那時不太舒服。我在街上踉蹌亂撞——有各種事要辦——向可敬之極的人勉強擠出笑容。我承認(rèn)我的所作所為簡直荒謬，但在那段日子里，我的體溫幾乎沒有正常過。我親愛的姨媽絞盡腦汁地想幫我‘固本培元’，但那么做完全是南轅北轍。我不需要保養(yǎng)身體恢復(fù)元氣，我是胡思亂想過甚，心靈需要撫慰。我留著庫爾茨給我的那捆信，想不出到底應(yīng)該怎么處理它。他母親不久前過世了，聽說逝前一直是他的未婚妻在侍湯奉藥。一天有人來拜訪我，他把胡子刮得干干凈凈，戴著金邊眼鏡，擺出一副公事公辦的樣子，提出許多問題，開始的時候還算委婉，后來就彬彬有禮地逼問我，要我說出那些他很樂意稱之為‘文件’的東西到底在哪里。我并不驚訝，還沒回來的時候，我就已經(jīng)為此和經(jīng)理吵過兩架。我對經(jīng)理說，我一張紙也不會給他，對這個戴眼鏡的男人我也采取了相同的態(tài)度。最后他陰沉著臉，擺出一副威脅的樣子，面紅耳赤地爭辯說公司有權(quán)利收回關(guān)于其‘領(lǐng)地’的一切信息。然后他說：‘鑒于庫爾茨先生的偉大才能，以及他所處環(huán)境之惡劣，他對這片未開發(fā)地區(qū)的知識，肯定尤為全面獨到，因此——’我向他申明，庫爾茨的知識，不論多么全面，都與貿(mào)易或者公司行政方面的問題沒有直接關(guān)系。接著他把科學(xué)搬了出來。‘如果……將會造成不可估量之損失’云云。我把那份‘破除野蠻傳統(tǒng)’的報告交給他，不過注釋已經(jīng)被我事先撕掉了。他急不可耐地一把接了過去，看完后卻輕蔑地對它嗤之以鼻。‘我們有權(quán)期望獲得的并非這份文件。’他說。‘那就不要再白費心機(jī)了，’我說，‘剩下的全是私人信件。’他威脅要走法律途徑，然后灰溜溜地走了，我再也沒見過他。但兩天后，另一個家伙來了，自稱是庫爾茨的表親，急切地想知道他親愛的親戚臨終時的全部細(xì)節(jié)。他不經(jīng)意地向我透露，其實庫爾茨本來是一個了不起的音樂家。‘差不多就要揚名四海了。’那人說，我相信他是一個風(fēng)琴手，他灰白的長發(fā)瀑布般披在油汪汪的大衣衣領(lǐng)上。我沒有理由懷疑他的話，但直到今天，我依然說不清楚庫爾茨究竟所司何職，他又是否有過固定的職業(yè)——有什么職業(yè)能讓他施展他最了不起的才華呢？我曾把他看成是會給報紙寫文章的畫家，或者是擅長繪畫的記者——但就連這個表親（在拜訪期間一直吸鼻煙吸個不停）都說不上來他曾經(jīng)是做什么職業(yè)的——準(zhǔn)確地。他是個全面的天才——在這一點上，我同意這個老家伙的意見。他馬上拿出一方巨大的棉布手帕，震耳欲聾地擤了擤鼻子，老氣橫秋、激動不已地與我告別，卷走了一些無關(guān)緊要的家庭信件和備忘錄。最后拜訪我的，是一個急于知道他‘親愛的同事’命運如何的記者。這位來客告訴我，庫爾茨的真正職業(yè)應(yīng)該是‘站在大眾的一邊’的政客。他有一雙毛茸茸的劍眉，一頭硬挺挺的短發(fā)，眼鏡上穿著黑色的粗帶子。他突然說得興起，承認(rèn)他認(rèn)為庫爾茨根本不會寫文章——‘但是，天啊！他太能說了！他能震懾住整個會場。他信念堅定——明白嗎？——他有堅定的信念。他能讓自己相信任何事情——任何事情。他要是參加極端的黨派，一定能成為了不起的領(lǐng)袖。’‘什么黨派？’我問。‘隨便一個黨派，’對方回答，‘他是個——一個——極端主義者。’我不也是這樣想的嗎？我表示贊成。他忽然好奇地問我知不知道‘到底是什么誘使他到那里去的？’‘我知道。’我說，立刻把那份著名的報告交給他，并請他出版，如果他認(rèn)為合適的話。他草草掃了一眼，一邊不停地喃喃自語，斷言它‘會賣座的’，就把它順走了。

Thus I was left at last with a slim packet of letters and the girl‘s portrait. She struck me as beautiful-I mean she had a beautiful expression.I know that the sunlight can be made to lie too, yet one felt that no manipulation of light and pose could have conveyed the delicate shade of truthfulness upon those features.She seemed ready to listen without mental reservation, without suspicion, without a thought for herself.I concluded I would go and give her back her portrait and those letters myself.Curiosity?Yes；and also some other feeling perhaps.All that had been Kurtz’s had passed out of my hands：his soul, his body, his station, his plans, his ivory, his career.There remained only his memoryand his Intended-and I wanted to give that up too to the past, in a way-to surrender personally all that remained of him with me to that oblivion which is the last word of our common fate.I don‘t defend myself.I had no clear perception of what it was I really wanted.Perhaps it was an impulse of unconscious loyalty, or the fulfllment of one of these ironic necessities that lurk in the facts of human existence.I don’t know.I cant tell.But I went.
就這樣，我終于只剩下一小包信和那個姑娘的畫像。我驚訝于她的美——我要說的是，她的表情很美。我知道陽光有時也會被迫撒謊，但我不禁感到，她臉上那種柔和而真摯的神情，不是靠操控光線和姿勢能制造出來的。她看起來隨時準(zhǔn)備好在精神上毫無保留地傾聽，不帶絲毫的懷疑，完全把自身置之度外。我決定親自去拜訪她，把她的畫像和那些信件還給她。出于好奇？沒錯，也許還出于其他心情。所有曾經(jīng)屬于庫爾茨的一切，都從我的手上交了出去：他的靈魂，他的身體，他的貿(mào)易站，他的宏圖大計，他的象牙，他的事業(yè)。只剩下他的回憶和他的未婚妻——我也想交出去了，從某種意義上講，交給過去——我要親手將他留給我的一切，全部交給那兩個字：遺忘。所有人最終都免不了要遺忘。我沒有在為自己辯護(hù)。我也不知道自己真正需要的到底是什么。也許那只是一時的心血來潮，由潛意識里的忠誠引起的，也許只是想要完成某個荒唐的任務(wù)，人生在世，不就是為了完成種種說不清道不明的任務(wù)么？我不知道。我無法分辨。但我去了。

I thought his memory was like the other memories of the dead that accumulate in every man‘s life-a vague impress on the brain of shadows that had fallen on it in their swift and fnal passage；but before the high and ponderous door, between the tall houses of a street as still and decorous as a well-kept alley in a cemetery, I had a vision of him on the stretcher, opening his mouth voraciously, as if to devour all the earth with all its mankind. He lived then before me；he lived as much as he had ever lived-a shadow insatiable of splendid appearances, of frightful realities；a shadow darker than the shadow of the night, and draped nobly in the folds of a gorgeous eloquence.The vision seemed to enter the house with me-the stretcher, the phantom-bearers, the wild crowd of obedient worshipers, the gloom of the forests, the glitter of the reach between the murky bends, the beat of the drum, regular and muffed like the beating of a heart-the heart of a conquering darkness.It was a moment of triumph for the wilderness, an invading and vengeful rush which, it seemed to me, I would have to keep back alone for the salvation of another soul.And the memory of what I had heard him say afar there, with the horned shapes stirring at my back, in the glow of fres, within the patient woods, those broken phrases came back to me, were heard again in their ominous and terrifying simplicity.I remembered his abject pleading, his abject threats, the colossal scale of his vile desires, the meanness, the torment, the tempestuous anguish of his soul.And later on I seemed to see hiscollected languid manner, when he said one day，’This lot of ivory now is really mine.The Company did not pay for it.I collected it myself at a very great personal risk.I am afraid they will try to claim it as theirs though.H‘m.It is a diffcult case.What do you think I ought to do-resist?Eh?I want no more than justice.’……He wanted no more than justice-no more than justice.I rang the bell before a mahogany door on the frst foor, and while I waited he seemed to stare at me out of the glassy panel-stare with that wide and immense stare embracing, condemning, loathing all the universe.I seemed to hear the whispered cry，‘The horror！The horror！’
我原本以為，對他的記憶與對其他死者的毫無二致，在每個人的一生中，這種記憶都會慢慢地越積越多——只是一個模糊的印象，影子一般掠過腦海，轉(zhuǎn)瞬即逝。但當(dāng)我來到那扇又高又沉的門前，站在街上高高的樓房中間，我卻覺得那些樓房猶如一個精心維護(hù)的墓地里死寂卻富麗的兩排墓碑，我仿佛看到了他坐在擔(dān)架上的幻象，貪婪地張大嘴巴，好像要吞掉整個地球和所有的人類。那一刻，他又在我面前活了過來，跟過去一樣栩栩如生——一個影子，不知饜足地追求著外表的輝煌，追求著猙獰的現(xiàn)實，比黑夜的影子還要黑暗，披著卓絕辯才的高貴外衣。這個幻象似乎和我一起進(jìn)入了房子——那個擔(dān)架，抬擔(dān)架的鬼影，他那群狂熱卻順從的崇拜者，那群土人，森林的幽暗，煙水迷茫的河灣之間，河面的寒光，那鼓聲，滯悶而規(guī)律的，宛如心跳聲——那片被征服了的黑暗的心跳聲。那是荒野的勝利時刻，一次狂暴的侵略和復(fù)仇，而我，要獨自抵擋它，以拯救另一個靈魂。我又想起了他在那個遠(yuǎn)方說過的話，在我背后的火光中，在那片耐心的森林里，頂著羚羊角的人影在扭動著，我又聽到了那些破碎的字句，簡單得兇險，簡單得令人驚顫。我記得他卑怯的央求，卑怯的威脅，卑怯而巨大的邪惡欲念，他靈魂里的卑鄙、苦惱，以及暴風(fēng)雨般的痛苦。后來，我有一天去看他的時候，他似乎已經(jīng)鎮(zhèn)定下來，但樣子十分憔悴。他說：‘此時此刻，這批象牙完全屬于我所有，公司還沒有為它們出過一分錢。是我自己一個人出生入死收集來的。但我擔(dān)心他們將來一定會宣稱那為公司所有。哼，真是棘手。你認(rèn)為我應(yīng)該怎么做呢——反抗？是嗎？我只想他們還我一個公道。’……他想要的只是一個公道——只是公道。我上了二層，在一扇桃花心木門前按了按門鈴。在我等候之時，他似乎躲在玻璃嵌板后面盯著我——用那個廣闊無際的凝視，那個擁抱著、譴責(zé)著、憎惡著整個宇宙的凝視。我仿佛聽到他在低聲喊著：‘好可怕！好可怕！’

The dusk was falling. I had to wait in a lofty drawing-room with three long windows from floor to ceiling that were like three luminous and bedraped columns.The bent gilt legs and backs of the furniture shone in indistinct curves.The tall marble freplace had a cold and monumental whiteness.A grand piano stood massively in a corner, with dark gleams on the fat surfaces like a sombre and polished sarcophagus.A high door opened-closed.I rose.
暮色漸濃。我必須在高高的客廳里等候?？蛷d里有三扇長長的落地窗，從天花板一直拖到地面，仿佛三根包裹著彩幔的大圓柱，隱隱生光。家具的彎腿和靠背鍍了金，璀璨生輝，映照成模糊的曲線。高高的大理石壁爐是蒼白色的，白得冰冷、哀傷。一個角落里擺著一架沉重的大鋼琴，平滑的琴面泛著黑暗的光芒，整個地像一口暗淡而磨光的石棺。一扇高高的門開了——關(guān)了。我站起來。

She came forward, all in black, with a pale head, foating towards me in the dusk. She was in mourning.It was more than a year since his death, more than a year since the news came；she seemed as though she would remember and mourn for ever.She took both my hands in hers and murmured，‘I had heard you were coming.’I noticed she was not very young-I mean not girlish.She had a mature capacity for fidelity, for belief, for suffering.The room seemed to have grown darker, as if all the sad light of the cloudy evening had taken refuge on her forehead.This fair hair, this pale visage, this pure brow, seemed surrounded by an ashy halo from which the dark eyes looked out at me.Their glance was guileless, profound, confdent, and trustful.She carried her sorrowful head as though she were proud of that sorrow, as though she would say, I-I alone know how to mourn for him as he deserves.‘But while we were stillshaking hands, such a look of awful desolation came upon her face that I perceived she was one of those creatures that are not the playthings of Time.For her he had died only yesterday.And, by Jove！the impression was so powerful that for me too he seemed to have died only yesterday-nay, this very minute.I saw her and him in the same instant of time-his death and her sorrow-I saw her sorrow in the very moment of his death.Do you understand?I saw them together-I heard them together.She had said, with a deep catch of the breath，’I have survived；‘while my strained ears seemed to hear distinctly, mingled with her tone of despairing regret, the summing-up whisper of his eternal condemnation.I asked myself what I was doing there, with a sensation of panic in my heart as though I had blundered into a place of cruel and absurd mysteries not ft for a human being to behold.She motioned me to a chair.We sat down.I laid the packet gently on the little table, and she put her hand over it……’You knew him well，she murmured, after a moment of mourning silence.
她走上前來，一身黑衣，臉色蒼白，在暮色中仿佛是在朝我飄來。她正在服喪。距離他去世之日已經(jīng)有一年多了，距離死訊傳來之日也已經(jīng)有一年多了，可是，看她的樣子，她永遠(yuǎn)會記得那一天，永遠(yuǎn)為他服喪。她握起我的雙手，喃喃道：‘我早就聽說您要來。’我注意到她并不是很年輕——我是說，她并不天真爛漫。她已經(jīng)足夠成熟，有能力駕馭忠誠、信仰與苦難。房間似乎越來越暗了，好像在那個濃云密布的黃昏，所有憂傷的光線都避禍一般聚集到她的額頭上。那淡金的頭發(fā)，蒼白的面容，精致的蛾眉，似乎圍繞在一個灰蒙蒙的光環(huán)里，那雙黑色的眼睛，望穿了光環(huán)，定定地看著我。這目光誠實，深邃，自信，深信不疑。她高高地昂著悲傷的頭，仿佛對這份悲傷倍感自豪，好像她要說：‘我——只有我懂得怎樣得體地為他服喪。’但當(dāng)我們還在握手的時候，她臉上浮現(xiàn)出一種凄荒得可怕的表情，我便察覺到，她屬于絕不甘于淪為時間之神的玩物那類人。對她而言，庫爾茨仿佛昨日才去世。而且，天??！那個表情太動人心魄了，竟然使我也覺得，庫爾茨是昨天剛?cè)ナ赖?mdash;—不，庫爾茨剛剛才去世。剎那間，我看見庫爾茨和她同在——庫爾茨的死和她的悲傷——我看見在庫爾茨死去那一刻，她眼里的悲傷。你們能理解嗎？我看見他們同在——我聽見他們同在。她深深嘆了一口氣，哽咽著說：‘我活了下來。’然而我那緊繃的耳朵似乎無限清晰地聽到，與她那絕望悔恨的聲調(diào)交融在一起的，是庫爾茨那個低喊，庫爾茨下的那個定論，那個永恒的譴責(zé)。我問自己，我在那里做什么，心中萬分驚恐，仿佛我不慎闖進(jìn)了一個人類看不得的地方，里面滿是殘忍而怪誕的謎。她示意我坐到一張椅子上，我們坐下來。我把那個小小的包裹輕輕地放到一張小桌子上，她把手放在上面……‘您一定非常了解他。’悲痛地沉默了片刻之后，她喃喃說道。

‘Intimacy grows quick out there，’I said.‘I knew him as well as it is possible for one man to know another.’
‘在那種地方，人和人很容易變得親密起來。’我說，‘我對他的了解，深入得可謂無以復(fù)加。’

‘And you admired him，’she said.‘It was impossible to know him and not to admire him. Was it?’
‘而且您也很欣賞他吧，’她說，‘了解他的人不可能不欣賞他，是嗎？’

‘He was a remarkable man，’I said, unsteadily. Then before the appealing fxity of her gaze, that seemed to watch for more words on my lips, I went on，‘It was impossible not to—’
‘他是個非凡卓絕的人。’我遲疑地說。她若有所求地定定看著我，似乎滿心期待我說下去。我又說：‘了解他的人，不可能不——’

‘Love him，’she finished eagerly, silencing me into an appalled dumbness.‘How true！how true！But when you think that no one knew him so well as I！I had all his noble confdence. I knew him best.’
‘愛他。’她迫不及待地替我把話說完，把我嚇得啞口無言，‘說得真對！說得真對！但請您知道，沒人比我更了解他！他把自己所有高貴的信賴，都毫無保留地交給了我。我最懂他。’

‘You knew him best，’I repeated. And perhaps she did.But with every word spoken the room was growing darker, and only her forehead, smooth and white, remained illumined by the unextinguishable light of belief and love.
‘您最懂他。’我重復(fù)道。而也許她確實最懂他。但我們每說一句話，房間似乎就變得更暗一些，只有她細(xì)滑而白皙的額頭，仍然被信仰和愛的永恒光芒映照得光亮如雪。

‘You were his friend，’she went on.‘His friend，’she repeated, a little louder.‘You must have been, if he had given you this, and sent you to me. I feel I can speak to you-and oh！I must speak.I want you-you who have heard his last words-to know I have been worthy of him……It is not pride……Yes！I am proud to know I understood him better than any one on earth-he told me so himself.And since his mother died I have had no one-no one-to-to—’
‘您是他的朋友，’她繼續(xù)說，‘他的朋友。’她重復(fù)道，稍微提高了一點聲音，‘您當(dāng)然是他的朋友，因為他把這個包裹交了給您，并請您來見我。我感覺我可以和您推心置腹地談一談——?。∥乙欢ㄒf出來。我希望您能——您這個聽到了他臨終遺言的人——您能明白我對他是多么重要……我并不是要以此為豪……沒錯，我確實很自豪地認(rèn)為，我比地球上任何人都更加了解他——他也曾親口對我這么說過。但自從他母親過世之后，我就找不到人——沒有人——來——來——’

I listened. The darkness deepened.I was not even sure whether he had given me the right bundle.I rather suspect he wanted me to take care of another batch of his papers which, after his death, I saw the manager examining under the lamp.And the girl talked, easing her pain in the certitude of my sympathy；she talked as thirsty men drink.I had heard that her engagement with Kurtz had been disapproved by her people.He wasn‘t rich enough or something.And indeed I don’t know whether he had not been a pauper all his life.He had given me some reason to infer that it was his impatience of comparative poverty that drove him out there.
我靜靜聽著。暮色越來越濃了。我甚至不確定庫爾茨是不是把對的那個包裹交給了我。我相當(dāng)?shù)貞岩?，他想交給我保管的，是另一包信件，他死后經(jīng)理在燈下細(xì)細(xì)檢查的那包。這位姑娘不停地說著話，她深信我在同情她，希望能從我身上得到安慰。她如饑似渴地傾訴著。她說她的家人十分反對這樁婚事，仿佛是因為庫爾茨不夠富有。實際上，我也不知道庫爾茨是否自始至終都是一個窮小子。通過與他的接觸，我絕對有理由推斷，正是由于厭倦了自己不夠富有，他才義無反顧地跑到了那個地方去。

‘……Who was not his friend who had heard him speak once?’she was saying.‘He drew men towards him by what was best in them.’She looked at me with intensity.‘It is the gift of the great，’she went on, and the sound of her low voice seemed to have the accompaniment of all the other sounds, full of mystery, desolation, and sorrow, I had ever heard-the ripple of the river, the soughing of the trees swayed by the wind, the murmurs of wild crowds, the faint ring of incomprehensible words cried from afar, the whisper of a voice speaking from beyond the threshold of an eternal darkness.‘But you have heard him！You know！’she cried.
‘……只要有幸一聞其聲，有誰能不為他傾倒呢？’她在說著，‘他能喚起人們內(nèi)心最美好的情感，使人們歸心于他。’她神色莊重地看著我，‘這是偉人的天賦。’她繼續(xù)說道，她的聲音，似乎淹沒在繚亂的伴奏聲中，那伴奏里，滿是謎樣的神秘、孤寂的凄涼和愁腸百結(jié)的悲傷，我曾在哪里聽到過的——河水潺潺，風(fēng)中的綠樹颯颯，野人群的怪語嗡嗡，從遠(yuǎn)處傳來的回響細(xì)細(xì)，如此的深邃難解，還有一個微弱的低語聲，越過那個永恒的黑暗世界的門檻，幽幽傳來。‘但您聽見他說的話了！您聽見了！’她叫了起來。

‘Yes, I know，’I said with something like despair in my heart, but bowing my head before the faith that was in her, before that great and saving illusion that shone with an unearthly glow in the darkness, in the triumphant darkness from which I could not have defended her-fromwhich I could not even defend myself.
‘是的，沒錯，我聽見了。’我懷著某種近似絕望的情緒說，在她心中堅定的信仰面前，在那偉大得足以救贖一切罪孽的幻象面前，我看見那幻象在黑暗中閃耀著天堂的光彩，我屈服了。在那片不可一世的黑暗中，我沒有能力保護(hù)她——我甚至沒有辦法保護(hù)我自己。

‘What a loss to me-to us！’—she corrected herself with beautiful generosity；then added in a murmur，‘To the world.’By the last gleams of twilight I could see the glitter of her eyes, full of tears-of tears that would not fall.
‘對我而言，這是一個多么大的損失——不，應(yīng)該是對我們而言！’她非常有風(fēng)度地改口道，真是慷慨。然后又低聲補充道：‘對于整個世界而言。’在黃昏最后一絲光線里，我看得見她閃著光的眼里飽含淚水——她一直強忍著的淚水。

‘I have been very happy-very fortunate-very proud，’she went on.‘Too fortunate. Too happy for a little while.And now I am unhappy for-for life.’
‘我曾經(jīng)是多么高興——多么幸運——多么自豪，’她繼續(xù)說道，‘太幸運了。有那么一陣子，我實在是太快樂了。而現(xiàn)在，我是如此不幸——抱恨終身。’

She stood up；her fair hair seemed to catch all the remaining light in a glimmer of gold. I rose too.
她站起來，淡金色的頭發(fā)仿佛聚攏了所有黃昏的余光，熠熠生輝。我也站起身來。

‘And of all this，’she went on, mournfully，‘of all his promise, and of all his greatness, of his generous mind, of his noble heart, nothing remains-nothing but a memory. You and I—’
‘而所有的這一切，’她繼續(xù)摧心剖肝地說道，‘他所有的承諾，所有的偉大，所有的宏偉思想，他高貴的心靈，都蕩然無存了——逝去了，只剩下回憶。您和我——’

‘We shall always remember him，’I said, hastily.
‘我們會永遠(yuǎn)緬懷他。’我連忙說。

‘No！’she cried.‘It is impossible that all this should be lost-that such a life should be sacrificed to leave nothing-but sorrow. You know what vast plans he had.I knew of them too-I could not perhaps understand-but others knew of them.Something must remain.His words, at least, have not died.’
‘不！’她叫道，‘這一切不可能就這樣灰飛煙滅——這樣一個人犧牲之后，怎么可能不留下只鱗片羽——除去不盡的悲傷之外？您知道他胸中的宏圖偉業(yè)，我也知道——也許我無能力去理解——但有其他人聽聞過。一定有什么東西留存了下來。至少，他的高談闊論仍然充滿了生命力。’

‘His words will remain，’I said.
‘他的高談闊論是不朽的。’我說。

‘And his example，’she whispered to herself.‘Men looked up to him-his goodness shone in every act. His example—’
‘而且他也樹立起了一個榜樣，’她輕聲自語道，‘人們會景仰他——他的一言一行，都閃耀著美德的光輝。他是一個絕佳的榜樣——’

‘True，’I said；‘his example too. Yes, his example.I forgot that.’
‘是的，’我說，‘他還樹立起了一個榜樣。是的，榜樣。我給忘了。’

‘But I do not. I cannot-I cannot believe-not yet.I cannot believe that I shall never see him again, that nobody will see him again, never, never, never！’
‘但我沒有。我不能——我不能夠相信——還是不能。我不能相信永遠(yuǎn)都見不到他了，沒有任何人會再見到他了，永遠(yuǎn)，永遠(yuǎn)，永遠(yuǎn)！’

She put out her arms as if after a retreating fgure, stretching them black and with clasped pale hands across the fading and narrow sheen of the window. Never see him！I saw him clearly enough then.I shall see thiseloquent phantom as long as I live, and I shall see her too, a tragic and familiar Shade, resembling in this gesture another one, tragic also, and bedecked with powerless charms, stretching bare brown arms over the glitter of the infernal stream, the stream of darkness.She said suddenly very low，‘He died as he lived.’
她伸開雙臂，仿佛在目送一個面朝著她漸行漸遠(yuǎn)的人，她把手深入黑暗之中，在窗戶逐漸暗淡下去的狹窄光亮之中，輕輕扣住一雙蒼白的手。再也看不見他！我那個時候已經(jīng)清清楚楚地看見了他。終我一生，我將一直看得見這個雄辯滔滔的幽靈，而我也會看見她，一個哀傷而熟悉的陰影。她現(xiàn)在的姿勢，跟另一個人如出一轍，那個同樣哀傷的陰影，渾身掛滿了無能為力的符咒，在那條黑暗之河上，張開了裸露的棕色手臂。她突然非常低沉地說：‘他雖死猶生。’

‘His end，’said I, with dull anger stirring in me，‘was in every way worthy of his life.’
‘這個結(jié)局，’我說，悶在心中的憤怒翻江倒海，‘完全對得起他的人生。’

‘And I was not with him，’she murmured. My anger subsided before a feeling of infnite pity.
‘但我沒能陪伴他到最后。’她低聲道。我突然對她生出無限的憐憫，不生氣了。

‘Everything that could be done—’I mumbled.
‘我們盡力了——’我嘟囔道。

‘Ah, but I believed in him more than anyone on earth-more than his own mother, more than-himself. He needed me！Me！I would have treasured every sigh, every word, every sign, every glance.’
‘啊，但我對他的信仰之深，超過了地球上任何一個人——比他自己的母親還要多，比——他自己還要多。他離不開我！我！他的每聲嘆息，每句話，每個手勢，每個眼神，我都將無比珍重愛惜。’

I felt like a chill grip on my chest.‘Don’t，I said, in a muffed voice.
我感到一陣寒氣冰住了我的心。‘別這樣。’我強壓著聲音說。

‘Forgive me. I-I—have mourned so long in silence-in silence……You were with him-to the last?I think of his loneliness.Nobody near to understand him as I would have understood.Perhaps no one to hear……’
‘對不起。我——我——服喪了這么久，如此孤寂——如此孤寂……您和他在一起——您在他臨終時陪伴在旁？我常常想，他是多么孤獨?。∩磉厸]有如我一般了解他的人，也許連聽他說話的人都沒有……’

‘To the very end，’I said, shakily.‘I heard his very last words……’I stopped in a fright.
‘我一直陪伴在他身旁，’我顫抖著說，‘我聽見了他的臨終遺言……’我害怕得不敢往下說。

‘Repeat them，’she said in a heart-broken tone.‘I want-I want-something-something-to-to live with.’
‘請您重復(fù)一次好嗎，’她肝腸寸斷地低聲說，‘我想要——想要——某些東西——某些東西——來——來支撐我活下去。’

I was on the point of crying at her，‘Don’t you hear them?‘The dusk was repeating them in a persistent whisper all around us, in a whisper that seemed to swell menacingly like the frst whisper of a rising wind.’The horror！The horror！
我簡直馬上就要向她咆哮道：‘您不是聽見了嗎？’那句話在暮色中低聲回蕩著，一聲緊似一聲，仿佛風(fēng)剛起時的輕響，咄咄逼人地越刮越烈。‘好可怕！好可怕！’

‘His last word-to live with，’she murmured.‘Don’t you understand I loved him-I loved him-I loved him！
‘他的臨終遺言——支撐我活下去，’她低聲道，‘難道您不明白我愛他——我愛他——我愛他！’

I pulled myself together and spoke slowly.
我用盡渾身氣力，緩緩地說了一句話。

‘The last word he pronounced was-your name.’
‘他最后說的是——您的名字。’

“I heard a light sigh, and then my heart stood still, stopped dead short by an exulting and terrible cry, by the cry of inconceivable triumph and of unspeakable pain.‘I knew it-I was sure！’……She knew. She was sure.I heard her weeping；she had hidden her face in her hands.It seemed to me that the house would collapse before I could escape, that the heavens would fall upon my head.But nothing happened.The heavens do not fall for such a trife.Would they have fallen, I wonder, if I had rendered Kurtz that justice which was his due?Hadn‘t he said he wanted only justice?But I couldn’t.I could not tell her.It would have been too dark-too dark altogether……”
“我聽見一聲輕微的嘆息，我的心臟仿佛被凍住了。一聲狂喜卻凄厲的尖叫，充滿勝利的神秘喜悅，無可言說的痛苦，把我的心完全石化了。‘我就知道——我從未懷疑過！’……她知道，她從未懷疑過。我聽見她哭得梨花帶雨，她把臉深深地埋在手里。我似乎感到，我還來不及逃走，這座房子就會塌掉，天也會塌下來砸死我。但一切如故。天才不會為了這樣一件小事就塌掉。我真想知道，如果我能替庫爾茨爭取到他想要的公道，天會塌下來嗎？他不是說了，他想要的只是公道嗎？但我?guī)筒涣怂?。我不能告訴這個姑娘。那實在是太黑暗了——黑暗得太兇殘了……”

Marlow ceased, and sat apart, indistinct and silent, in the pose of a meditating Buddha. Nobody moved for a time.“We have lost the frst of the ebb，”said the Director, suddenly.I raised my head.The offing was barred by a black bank of clouds, and the tranquil waterway leading to the uttermost ends of the earth fowed sombre under an overcast sky-seemed to lead into the heart of an immense darkness.
馬洛講完了。他坐在一邊，朦朧，寂靜，那姿勢仿佛一座正在修行悟道的佛像。有那么一陣子，眾人一動不動。“我們錯過了第一次退潮。”主任突然說。我把頭抬起來。海面上橫遮著一堆烏云，那條通向天涯海角的河道，在陰沉的天空下，憂傷地流淌著——仿佛頭也不回地，要流入一片龐大的黑暗的心中。