雙語(yǔ)·《黑暗的心》 第一章

Chapter One
第一章

The Nellie, a cruising yawl, swung to her anchor without a futter of the sails, and was at rest. The food had made, the wind was nearly calm, and being bound down the river, the only thing for it was to come to and wait for the turn of the tide.
巡航小帆船奈莉號(hào)的帆并未抖動(dòng)，便拋下了錨，穩(wěn)穩(wěn)停好。潮漲了，風(fēng)也幾乎止住，她要往下游開去，只能靜等退潮。

The sea-reach of the Thames stretched before us like the beginning of an interminable waterway. In the offing the sea and the sky were welded together without a joint, and in the luminous space the tanned sails of the barges drifting up with the tide seemed to stand still in red clusters of canvas sharply peaked, with gleams of varnished sprits.A haze rested on the low shores that ran out to sea in vanishing flatness.The air was dark above Gravesend, and further back still seemed condensed into a mournful gloom, brooding motionless over the biggest, and the greatest, town on earth.
泰晤士河的入?？谠谖覀兠媲颁佌归_，像一個(gè)起點(diǎn)，通向一條漫無(wú)盡頭的航道。遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)望去，海天交融，渾然一體。從那片明亮之處，隨潮飄來(lái)艘艘大帆船，那些久曬成棕褐色的帆，仿佛寂然不動(dòng)，紅紅地堆起來(lái)，帆頂尖尖的，斜杠上明滅著清漆的幽光。煙迷的河岸低低地延伸開去，漸漸消失不見。格雷夫森德上空，天色黯然，再往深處更是仿佛凝成一片愁云慘霧，死寂地摧壓在世上最大，亦最偉大的城市之上。

The Director of Companies was our captain and our host. We four affectionately watched his back as he stood in the bows looking to seaward.On the whole river there was nothing that looked half so nautical.He resembled a pilot, which to a seaman is trustworthiness personified.It was difficult to realise his work was not out there in the luminous estuary, but behind him, within the brooding gloom.
公司的主任是我們的船長(zhǎng)兼東家。他站在船頭向海遠(yuǎn)望時(shí)，我們四人熱切地盯著他的背影。在整條河流上，唯這一幕最富于航海色彩。他像引航員，水手的依靠。然而他的工作竟不在那個(gè)明亮的河灣上，而在他身后那片壓得人喘不過氣的陰云之下。

Between us there was, as I have already said somewhere, the bond of the sea. Besides holding our hearts together through long periods of separation, it had the effect of making us tolerant of each others yarns-and even convictions.The Lawyer-the best of old fellows-had, because of his many years and many virtues, the only cushion on deck, and was lying on the only rug.The Accountant had brought out already a box of dominoes, and was toying architecturally with the bones.Marlow sat cross-legged right aft, leaning against the mizzen-mast.He had sunken cheeks, a yellow complexion, a straight back, an ascetic aspect, and, with his arms dropped, the palms of hands outwards, resembled an idol.The Director, satisfied the anchor had good hold, made his way aft and sat down amongst us.We exchanged a few words lazily.Afterwards there was silence on board the yacht.For some reason or other we did not begin that game of dominoes.We felt meditative, and ft for nothing but placid staring.The day was ending in a serenity of still and exquisite brilliance.The water shone pacifically；the sky, without a speck, was a benign immensity of unstained light；the very mist on the Essex marshes was like a gauzy and radiant fabric, hung from the wooded rises inland, and draping the low shores in diaphanous folds.Only the gloom to the west, brooding over the upper reaches, became more sombre every minute, as if angered by the approach of the sun.
在我們之間，我之前也說(shuō)過，有著海洋的紐帶。除了在漫長(zhǎng)的別離中，讓我們彼此牽掛，它還有一種奇效，令我們足以忍受彼此信口說(shuō)出的奇聞逸事，甚至是荒誕離奇的信念。那位律師——最討人喜歡的長(zhǎng)者——因?yàn)橘Y歷深厚和德高望重，占用了船上唯一一個(gè)靠墊，并躺在唯一一條小毯子上。會(huì)計(jì)之前拿了一盒多米諾骨牌出來(lái)，正在拿牌搭房子。馬洛盤腿坐在船尾，背倚著后桅。他雙頰深陷，面色蠟黃，腰身挺拔，像個(gè)苦行僧。他雙臂下垂，雙掌外翻，又像尊神像。主任見錨抓穩(wěn)了，便放了心，走到船尾，在我們中間坐下。大家只懶洋洋地說(shuō)了幾句話，然后船上一片沉靜。不知怎的我們沒有玩起多米諾骨牌來(lái)。我們仿佛滿腔心事，對(duì)什么都無(wú)情無(wú)緒，只管睜著眼睛出神。夜幕徐徐降臨，安寧?kù)o謐，晚霞爛漫。水面泛起粼粼波光，柔靜細(xì)碎，天空了無(wú)纖塵，溫和遼闊，澄凈生光。埃塞克斯沼澤地上那片薄霧，像流彩溢輝的輕紗，從內(nèi)陸高地的樹林上垂下，柔柔地籠罩住低處的河岸，清透的褶皺隱隱飄拂。只有西方那片摧壓著上游的陰云，在一分一秒地益發(fā)陰沉下去，仿佛因?yàn)槁淙盏牟讲奖平杖欢?/span>

And at last, in its curved and imperceptible fall, the sun sank low, and from glowing white changed to a dull red without rays and without heat, as if about to go out suddenly, stricken to death by the touch of that gloom brooding over a crowd of men.
終于，太陽(yáng)沿著弧線悄然沉沒，從燦白變成滯紅，光消熱散，像突然熄滅一般，撞死在那片蕓蕓眾生頭頂上的陰云里。

Forthwith a change came over the waters, and the serenity became less brilliant but more profound. The old river in its broad reach rested unruffed at the decline of day, after ages of good service done to the race that peopled its banks, spread out in the tranquil dignity of a waterway leading to the uttermost ends of the earth.We looked at the venerable stream not in the vivid flush of a short day that comes and departs for ever, but in the august light of abiding memories.And indeed nothing is easier for a man who has, as the phrase goes，“followed the sea”with reverence and affection, than to evoke the great spirit of the past upon the lower reaches of the Thames.The tidal current runs to and fro in its unceasing service, crowded with memories of men and ships it had borne to the rest of home or to the battles of the sea.It had known and served all the men of whom the nation is proud, from Sir Francis Drake to Sir John Franklin, knights all, titled and untitled-the great knights-errant of the sea.It had borne all the ships whose names are like jewels fashing in the night of time, from the Golden Hind returning with her round fanks full of treasure, to be visited by the Queen‘s Highness and thus pass out of the gigantic tale, to the Erebus and Terror, bound on other conquests-and that never returned.It had known the ships and the men.They sailed from Deptford, from Greenwich, from Erith-the adventurers and the settlers；kings’ships and the ships of men onChange；captains, admirals, the dark“interlopers”of the Eastern trade, and the commissioned“generals”of East India feets.Hunters for gold or pursuers of fame, they all had gone out on that stream, bearing the sword, and often the torch, messengers of the might within the land, bearers of a spark from the sacred fre.What greatness had not foated on the ebb of that river into the mystery of an unknown earth！……The dreams of men, the seed of commonwealths, the germs of empires.
水上風(fēng)光頓改。褪去光輝的靜謐變得更為深沉。夜幕降臨之時(shí)，這條古老的河流安然地置身于它寬闊的河道里。千百年來(lái)，它惠及了居于兩岸的種族，而現(xiàn)在，它順著這一條通往天涯海角的水道，從容而莊嚴(yán)地，柔柔舒展著身軀。在我們眼中，這是一條令人肅然起敬的河流，照亮它的并不是朝生暮死的浮麗日光，而是莊嚴(yán)的記憶之光，歷經(jīng)世世代代，永不磨滅。事實(shí)上，對(duì)于一個(gè)俗語(yǔ)里心懷敬畏和愛慕“漂洋而生”的人來(lái)說(shuō)，途經(jīng)泰晤士河下游，最能觸發(fā)過往的萬(wàn)丈豪情。潮汐日日復(fù)年年地來(lái)來(lái)去去，載著回家安歇或者出海戰(zhàn)斗的人和船進(jìn)進(jìn)出出，堆積起層層疊疊的記憶。這個(gè)國(guó)家引以為傲的人物，它無(wú)一不認(rèn)識(shí)并接待過，從弗朗西斯·德雷克先生到約翰·富蘭克林先生，所有了不起的騎士——所有那些海上的英雄好漢，不論是否擁有真正的騎士頭銜。它接送過每一艘名聲遠(yuǎn)揚(yáng)的船只，它們的名字耀若珠寶，在時(shí)間長(zhǎng)河的黑夜里熠熠生輝。從那一艘雙側(cè)船艙滿載財(cái)寶歸來(lái)，引得女皇殿下親臨迎接，榮冠一時(shí)的金鹿號(hào)，到外出征討其他地方卻一別茫茫的埃里布斯號(hào)與恐怖號(hào)。它都在場(chǎng)，親眼見證。人和船從德特福特、格林尼治和埃利斯出發(fā)——冒險(xiǎn)者和殖民者，皇家帆船和商人的商船，船長(zhǎng)、海軍將領(lǐng)、暗地里從東方貿(mào)易分羹的“走私犯”，還有東印度艦隊(duì)雇傭的“將軍”。追名逐利之徒都從那條河流出發(fā)，利劍隨身，也常常攜帶火炬。他們是該國(guó)強(qiáng)權(quán)的使者，手握神圣之火的火種。天下聞名的一切，都曾經(jīng)隨著這條河流的退潮漂浮出海，流去某片未知陸地的神秘之中……人類的夢(mèng)想，共和國(guó)的種子，帝國(guó)的幼芽。

The sun set；the dusk fell on the stream, and lights began to appear along the shore. The Chapman lighthouse, a three-legged thing erect on a mudfat, shone strongly.Lights of ships moved in the fairway-a great stir of lights going up and going down.And further west on the upper reaches the place of the monstrous town was still marked ominously on the sky, a brooding gloom in sunshine, a lurid glare under the stars.
日落了，河面上天色漸暗，岸邊亮起星星燈火。三條腿的查普曼燈塔矗立在海濱泥地上，發(fā)著強(qiáng)光。船的燈火流過河道——許許多多的燈光，熱熱鬧鬧地沿著河道上上下下。西邊的上游處，坐落著那個(gè)大得畸形的城市，那不祥的標(biāo)記仍在上空盤桓不去——殘陽(yáng)里的陰霾，群星下的鬼火。

“And this also，”said Marlow suddenly，“has been one of the dark places of the earth.”
“而這個(gè)地方，”馬洛突然說(shuō)，“也一直是世界上最黑暗的地方之一。”

He was the only man of us who still“followed the sea.”The worst that could be said of him was that he did not represent his class. He was a seaman, but he was a wanderer too, while most seamen lead, if one may so express it, a sedentary life.Their minds are of the stay-at-home order, and their home is always with them-the ship；and so is their country-the sea.One ship is very much like another, and the sea is always the same.In the immutability of their surroundings the foreign shores, the foreign faces, the changing immensity of life, glide past, veiled not by a sense of mystery but by a slightly disdainful ignorance；for there is nothing mysterious to a seaman unless it be the sea itself, which is the mistress of his existence and as inscrutable as Destiny.For the rest, after his hours of work, a casual stroll or a casual spree on shore suffces to unfold for him the secret of a whole continent, and generally he fnds the secret not worth knowing.The yarns of seamen have an effective simplicity, the whole meaning of which lies within the shell of a cracked nut.But, as has been said, Marlow was not typical（if his propensity to spin yarns be excepted），and to him the meaning of an episode was not inside like a kernel but outside, enveloping the tale which brought it out only as a glow brings out a haze, in the likeness of one of these misty halos that, sometimes, are made visible by the spectral illumination of moonshine.
他是我們之中唯一一個(gè)仍然“漂洋而生”的人。若要指責(zé)他，最多也只能說(shuō)他沒有代表自己的階級(jí)。他是一個(gè)海員，卻也是一個(gè)流浪者。然而幾乎所有海員的生活，如果可以這樣說(shuō)的話，都有點(diǎn)安土重遷。他們滿腦子都是居家的知識(shí)，去哪里都帶著自己的家——船。他們也總是走不出自己的國(guó)家——海洋。船和船之間差異不大，海洋則處處相同。在千篇一律的環(huán)境中，異國(guó)的海岸，陌生的臉孔，截然不同的生活，浮光掠影般流轉(zhuǎn)著，相隔的不是一層神秘的面紗，卻是帶著淡淡輕侮的蒙昧，因?yàn)閷?duì)海員而言，唯有海洋本身是神秘的，它主宰他們的存在，和命運(yùn)之神一般喜怒無(wú)常。而大陸的所有秘密，等辛勞的工作結(jié)束后，上岸閑逛一回，或肆意狂歡一番，便一覽無(wú)遺，但一般他們對(duì)那些秘密興味索然。海員隨口說(shuō)出來(lái)的奇聞逸事有著一種簡(jiǎn)單粗暴的直率，其中含義一目了然，仿佛碎果殼里無(wú)處藏身的果仁。然而聽說(shuō)馬洛是個(gè)例外（如果不提他胡謅杜撰的癖好）。對(duì)他而言，事件的意義并非像果仁藏在殼內(nèi)一樣，隱潛于字里行間，而是像灼熱的光生出來(lái)的煙霧，披裹在外，猶如朦朧的月暈，有時(shí)候正是仰仗了森冷的月光才得以顯現(xiàn)。

His remark did not seem at all surprising. It was just like Marlow.It was accepted in silence.No one took the trouble to grunt even；and presently he said, very slow—
大家似乎對(duì)他說(shuō)的話全然不覺得驚訝。馬洛平時(shí)就這么說(shuō)話。大家報(bào)以沉默，甚至都懶得發(fā)牢騷。他馬上接著說(shuō)下去，慢條斯理地——

“I was thinking of very old times, when the Romans frst came here, nineteen hundred years ago-the other day……Light came out of this river since-you say Knights?Yes；but it is like a running blaze on a plain, like a fash of lightning in the clouds. We live in the ficker-may it last as long as the old earth keeps rolling！But darkness was here yesterday.Imagine the feelings of say a commander of a fine-what d‘ye call’em?—trireme in the Mediterranean, ordered suddenly to the north；run overland across the Gauls in a hurry；put in charge of one of these craft the legionaries-a wonderful lot of handy men they must have been too-used to build, apparently by the hundred, in a month or two, if we may believe what we read.Imagine him here-the very end of the world, a sea the colour of lead, a sky the colour of smoke, a kind of ship about as rigid as a concertina-and going up this river with stores, or orders, or what you like.Sandbanks, marshes, forests, savages-precious little to eat ft for a civilised man, nothing but Thames water to drink.No Falernian wine here, no going ashore.Here and there a military camp lost in a wilderness like a needle in a bundle of hay-cold, fog, tempests, disease, exile, and death-death skulking in the air, in the water, in the bush.They must have been dying like fies here.Oh yes-he did it.Did it very well, too, no doubt, and without thinking much about it either, except afterwards to brag of what he had gone through in his time, perhaps.They were men enough to face the darkness.And perhaps he was cheered by keeping his eye on a chance of promotion to the feet at Ravenna, by and bye, if he had good friends in Rome and survived the awful climate.Or think of a decent young citizen in a toga-perhaps too much dice, you know-coming out here in the train of some prefect, or tax-gatherer, or trader even, to mend his fortunes.Land in a swamp, march through the woods, and in some inland post feel the savagery, the utter savagery, had closed round him-all that mysterious life of the wilderness that stirs in the forests, in the jungles, in the hearts of wild men.Theres no initiation either into such mysteries.He has to live in the midst of the incomprehensible, which is also detestable.And it has a fascination, too, that goes to work upon him.The fascination of the abomination-you know.Imagine the growing regrets, the longing to escape, the powerless disgust, the surrender, the hate.”
“我想起那個(gè)古遠(yuǎn)的時(shí)代，羅馬人初次踏上這片土地，一千九百年前——好像還只是幾天前的事……這條河的明光可以追溯到——你說(shuō)那些騎士？倒也不錯(cuò)。但這道光像火光躥過平原，像閃電掠過烏云。我們就活在那忽明忽滅的光明之中——但愿只要老舊的地球還轉(zhuǎn)得動(dòng)，它就別徹底熄掉！但這里昨天是黑暗的。試想一下那種感覺，一個(gè)船長(zhǎng)正指揮著一艘漂亮體面的——叫什么名字來(lái)著？——地中海三槳戰(zhàn)船，卻突然被調(diào)往北方，不得不匆匆忙忙地穿越高盧地區(qū)去指揮這些羅馬軍團(tuán)的小船——軍團(tuán)的士兵也一定是些能工巧匠，這些小船他們幾個(gè)月就能造出成百上千艘來(lái)，如果書本沒有騙人。想象一下，假如那船長(zhǎng)來(lái)到這個(gè)鬼地方——世界的盡頭，海洋是鉛灰的，天空是煙黑的，船差不多和六角手風(fēng)琴一樣不聽使喚——指揮小船沿著這條河駛往上游，船上裝滿了軍需品，或者訂購(gòu)的貨物，或者隨便你們高興說(shuō)的什么。沙岸、沼澤、森林、土人——對(duì)一個(gè)文明人來(lái)說(shuō)，能吃的太少太珍貴，能喝的也只有泰晤士河的河水。這里沒有法洛尼恩葡萄酒，上岸也沒有。軍營(yíng)孤零零地散落在荒野中偶爾可見，就像針掉在干草堆里一樣——冷啊，霧啊，狂風(fēng)暴雨啊，疾病啊，流亡啊，還有死亡——死神就潛伏在空氣里、水里和叢林里。他們肯定像蒼蠅一樣死在這里。噢，是的——那船長(zhǎng)活下來(lái)了，毫無(wú)疑問還大撈了一筆，當(dāng)然其實(shí)他也沒太拿這當(dāng)回事兒，也許不過就是過后向人吹噓吹噓當(dāng)年他有多么英勇。他們可都是渾身是膽的好漢，面對(duì)那片黑暗時(shí)毫不怯場(chǎng)。而也許正是因?yàn)樗恍南胫?，認(rèn)為只要在羅馬有靠得住的好兄弟，并能夠熬過這該死的氣候，有朝一日總能被調(diào)到拉文納去指揮艦隊(duì)，才能一直那么興沖沖的。又或者，你們想象一下一個(gè)體面的年輕市民，穿著古羅馬的托加袍——大概是賭骰子輸?shù)脡騿?mdash;—跟著某個(gè)市長(zhǎng)、稅務(wù)員或者甚至是生意人跑出來(lái)做發(fā)財(cái)夢(mèng)。在某片沼澤地上岸，用兩條腿穿過森林，走到某個(gè)內(nèi)地的驛站時(shí)，突然發(fā)現(xiàn)身邊是一片兇殘的荒涼，兇殘得毫無(wú)商量，把他圍得密不透風(fēng)——所有那些謎一樣的生活，充滿了在森林里、叢林里和土人心里蠢蠢欲動(dòng)的野性。這些謎團(tuán)無(wú)法破解，他只能一直活在這不可理喻而又可惡至極的環(huán)境之中。然而這環(huán)境也有一種令他著迷的魔力，憎惡的魔力——想想那不斷增長(zhǎng)的悔恨，那逃走的渴望，那令人徹骨地疲倦的厭惡，那自暴自棄和那怨毒。”

He paused.
他暫時(shí)閉上了口。

“Mind，”he began again, lifting one arm from the elbow, the palm of the hand outwards, so that, with his legs folded before him, he had the pose of a Buddha preaching in European clothes and without a lotus-flower—“Mind, none of us would feel exactly like this. What saves us is effciency-the devotion to effciency.But these chaps were not much account, really.They were no colonists；their administration was merely a squeeze, and nothing more, I suspect.They were conquerors, and for that you want only brute force-nothing to boast of, when you have it, since your strength is just an accident arising from the weakness of others.They grabbed what they could get and for the sake of what was to be got.It was just robbery with violence, aggravated murder on a great scale, and men going at it blind-as is very proper for those who tackle a darkness.The conquest of the earth, which mostly means the taking it away from those who have a different complexion or slightly fatter noses than ourselves, is not a pretty thing when you look into it too much.What redeems it is the idea only.An idea at the back of it；not a sentimental pretence but an idea；and an unselfsh belief in the idea-something you can set up, and bow down before, and offer a sacrifce to……”
“不過要注意，”他又開始道，彎起一條手臂，外翻手掌，加上在身前盤著的雙腿，他的姿勢(shì)像個(gè)正在布道的佛像，只不過穿的是歐式衣服，身下也沒有蓮花座——“要注意，我們現(xiàn)在誰(shuí)也無(wú)法準(zhǔn)確地對(duì)此感同身受了。多虧了效率——對(duì)效率的虔誠(chéng)追求。不過這些家伙也算不上是什么大人物，真的。他們算不上是殖民者，他們的所謂行政只不過是去壓榨當(dāng)?shù)厝?，我懷疑。他們是征服者，需要的只是殘忍的武?mdash;—擁有這種力量沒什么好夸耀的，別人只是意外地比他們?nèi)跣×T了。他們?yōu)檫_(dá)目的，從不放過能搶走的一切。這不過是肆無(wú)忌憚的暴力搶劫，罪加一等的大肆屠殺，他們卻瘋了一樣前仆后繼——要對(duì)付黑暗，倒也合該如此。征服土地，大多數(shù)情況下意味著搶走它，從那些膚色與我們不同，或者是鼻梁比我們稍稍塌一點(diǎn)的人那里。要是刨根問底，就會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)這不夠光彩。能給它挽回一點(diǎn)面子的，就只有這樣一個(gè)信念，隱藏在征服背后的，不是虛偽的感情，而是一個(gè)信念，以及對(duì)這個(gè)信念毫無(wú)私心的信仰——可以供奉起來(lái)，對(duì)它鞠躬，獻(xiàn)上犧牲品的……”

He broke off. Flames glided in on the river, small green flames, red flames, white flames, pursuing, overtaking, joining, crossing each other-then separating slowly or hastily.The traffc of the great city went on in the deepening night upon the sleepless river.We looked on, waiting patiently-there was nothing else to do till the end of the food；but it was only after a long silence, when he said, in a hesitating voice，“I suppose you fellows remember I did once turn fresh-water sailor for a bit，”that we knew we were fated, before the ebb began to run, to hear about one of Marlows inconclusive experiences.
他打住了。河上流轉(zhuǎn)著團(tuán)團(tuán)小小的火焰，綠色的，紅色的，白色的，你追我趕，爭(zhēng)先恐后，分分合合，交相穿越——然后或快或慢地分道揚(yáng)鑣。在無(wú)眠的河流上，夜色越益沉暗，那巨城的交通夜以繼日。我們靜觀其變——潮水漲停之前我們無(wú)事可做。沉默了許久之后，他用遲疑的聲音說(shuō)：“你們這些家伙應(yīng)該還記得吧？我的確曾經(jīng)干過一陣子內(nèi)河水手。”這下好了，在開始退潮之前，馬洛又要講一段他那些不了了之的經(jīng)歷，想不聽都不行。

“I dont want to bother you much with what happened to mepersonally，”he began, showing in this remark the weakness of many tellers of tales who seem so often unaware of what their audience would best like to hear；yet to understand the effect of it on me you ought to know how I got out there, what I saw, how I went up that river to the place where I first met the poor chap. It was the furthest point of navigation and the culminating point of my experience.It seemed somehow to throw a kind of light on everything about me-and into my thoughts.It was sombre enough too-and pitiful-not extraordinary in any way-not very clear either.No, not very clear.And yet it seemed to throw a kind of light.
“我不想給你們嘮叨我那些老掉牙的個(gè)人經(jīng)歷，”他說(shuō)，他屬于那一類往往不知道聽眾最想聽什么的人，這句話正好暴露出這類人的弱點(diǎn)，“然而，要理解它對(duì)我產(chǎn)生的影響，你們得先知道我是怎樣跑到了那兒去，看見了什么，怎樣沿河而上去到那個(gè)地方，初次見到了那個(gè)可憐的家伙。那是航海的盡頭，也是我這輩子經(jīng)歷的最高潮。不知怎的，它好像點(diǎn)亮了我身邊的一切——也點(diǎn)亮了我的思想。它很令人哀傷——也很悲慘——怎么看也很普通——也不明不白。就是不明不白的。然而它似乎給了我一點(diǎn)啟發(fā)。”

I had then, as you remember, just returned to London after a lot of Indian Ocean, Pacific, China Seas-a regular dose of the East-six years or so, and I was loafng about, hindering you fellows in your work and invading your homes, just as though I had got a heavenly mission to civilise you. It was very fne for a time, but after a bit I did get tired of resting.Then I began to look for a ship-I should think the hardest work on earth.But the ships wouldnt even look at me.And I got tired of that game too.
“你們應(yīng)該還記得，那時(shí)我剛回到倫敦，在跑了很多趟印度洋、太平洋和中國(guó)海之后——那是東方的常規(guī)航線——這條航線我跑了有六年左右?；氐絺惗睾螅覠o(wú)所事事，在你們的上班時(shí)間去打攪你們工作，上你們家去找麻煩，仿佛我身負(fù)神圣的使命，要去教化你們。剛開始很開心，但不久我就感覺閑得煩透了。然后我開始去找一艘船——我想嘗試一下地球上最艱苦的工作。但沒人理我。我對(duì)這個(gè)游戲也煩透了。”

Now when I was a little chap I had a passion for maps. I would look for hours at South America, or Africa, or Australia and lose myself in all the glories of exploration.At that time there were many blank spaces on the earth, and when I saw one that looked particularly inviting on a map（but they all look that）I would put my fnger on it and say, When I grow up I will go there.The North Pole was one of these places, I remember.Well, I haven‘t been there yet, and shall not try now.The glamour’s off.Other places were scattered about the Equator, and in every sort of latitude all over the two hemispheres.I have been in some of them, and……well, we wont talk about that.But there was one yet-the biggest, the most blank, so to speak-that I had a hankering after.
“我小時(shí)候可喜歡看地圖了。我會(huì)一連好幾個(gè)小時(shí)盯著南美洲、非洲或者澳洲出神，為那些輝煌光榮的探險(xiǎn)偉業(yè)心蕩神馳。那時(shí)地圖上有很多空白的空間，每當(dāng)我看見一處看起來(lái)特別誘人的地方（但它們看起來(lái)都這樣），就會(huì)把手指放在上面，說(shuō)長(zhǎng)大后一定要去那里。北極就是其中之一，我記得，不過我還沒去過北極，也不打算去了。它的魔力已經(jīng)消失了。其他空白空間散布在赤道周圍和東西半球的各個(gè)緯度上。我去過其中一些地方，然后——唔，別談這個(gè)了。但還有一個(gè)地方——可以說(shuō)是最大最空的——我還渴望去看看。”

True, by this time it was not a blank space any more. It had gotflled since my boyhood with rivers and lakes and names.It had ceased to be a blank space of delightful mystery-a white patch for a boy to dream gloriously over.It had become a place of darkness.But there was in it one river especially, a mighty big river, that you could see on the map, resembling an immense snake uncoiled, with its head in the sea, its body at rest curving afar over a vast country, and its tail lost in the depths of the land.And as I looked at the map of it in a shop-window, it fascinated me like a snake would a bird-a silly little bird.Then I remembered there was a big concern, a Company for trade on that river.Dash it all！I thought to myself, they can‘t trade without using some kind of craft on that lot of fresh water-steamboats！Why shouldn’t I try to get charge of one.I went on along Fleet Street, but could not shake off the idea.The snake had charmed me.
“確實(shí)，它現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)不再空白。從我小時(shí)候起，它就漸漸被填上河流、湖泊和地名。它不再是一塊謎樣的空白，充滿樂趣——一塊可以讓男孩夢(mèng)想光榮的空白。它變得一片黑暗。但那里有一條很特別的河，一條巨大的河，你可以在地圖上看到它，就像一條碩大無(wú)朋的蛇，頭淹在海里，身子一動(dòng)不動(dòng)地蜷曲著，穿過一片廣袤的土地，尾巴消失在內(nèi)陸深處。當(dāng)我透過商店的櫥窗，看著它的地圖時(shí)，被深深迷住了，像一只被蛇迷住的鳥——蠢得要命的小鳥。然后我想起來(lái)，那條河上有一家大公司，大貿(mào)易公司。老天！我暗暗地想，要在那么大一條河上做生意，他們總要用到船吧——他們肯定有汽船！我干嗎不試試去應(yīng)聘船長(zhǎng)？我沿著艦隊(duì)街走啊走，但這個(gè)念頭一直纏著我。那條蛇弄得我五迷三道的。”

You understand it was a Continental concern, that Trading society；but I have a lot of relations living on the Continent, because its cheap and not so nasty as it looks, they say.
“要知道那是一家歐洲大陸的公司，那個(gè)貿(mào)易公司。我倒是有很多親戚住在大陸上，他們說(shuō)因?yàn)槟抢锷畛杀镜?，也不像看起?lái)那么糟糕。”

I am sorry to own I began to worry them. This was already a fresh departure for me.I was not used to get things that way, you know.I always went my own road and on my own legs where I had a mind to go.I wouldn‘t have believed it of myself；but, then-you see-I felt somehow I must get there by hook or by crook.So I worried them.The men said’My dear fellow，‘and did nothing.Then-would you believe it?—I tried the women.I, Charlie Marlow, set the women to work-to get a job.Heavens！Well, you see, the notion drove me.I had an aunt, a dear enthusiastic soul.She wrote：’It will be delightful.I am ready to do anything, anything for you.It is a glorious idea.I know the wife of a very high personage in the Administration, and also a man who has lots of infuence with，etc.，etc.She was determined to make no end of fuss to get me appointed skipper of a river steamboat, if such was my fancy.
“我厚顏無(wú)恥地去托他們替我打點(diǎn)。對(duì)我而言，這完全是一條新的人生道路。我不習(xí)慣這一套。我總是用自己的腿，走自己的路，去自己想去的地方。過后我都無(wú)法相信自己變成了那樣，但是，那會(huì)兒——你們瞧——我真是鬼迷心竅，覺得反正我就是要達(dá)到目的，不擇手段也在所不惜。于是我去托他們替我打點(diǎn)。男人們說(shuō)完‘我親愛的老朋友’便全無(wú)下文。然后——真難為情——我嘗試向女士們下手。我，查利·馬洛，打發(fā)女人們?nèi)ヌ嫖遗芡?mdash;—幫我找一份差事。天?。∫志凸帜莻€(gè)念頭。我有一個(gè)姨媽，一個(gè)可親的熱心人。她給我寫信說(shuō)：‘定然是一件令人愉悅的工作。我必定竭盡所能助你成功。該想法極佳。我認(rèn)識(shí)一位公司高官的太太，和另一位有頭面的先生……’等等。她下定決心，不畏艱難，一定要幫我當(dāng)上內(nèi)河船長(zhǎng)，讓我得償所愿。”

I got my appointment-of course；and I got it very quick. It appears the Company had received news that one of their captains had been killed in a scuffle with the natives.This was my chance, and it made me the more anxious to go.It was only months and months afterwards, when I made the attempt to recover what was left of the body, that I heard the original quarrel arose from a misunderstanding about some hens.Yes, two black hens.Fresleven-that was the fellow‘s name, a Dane-thought himself wronged somehow in the bargain, so he went ashore and started to hammer the chief of the village with a stick.Oh, it didn’t surprise me in the least to hear this, and at the same time to be told that Fresleven was the gentlest, quietest creature that ever walked on two legs.No doubt he was；but he had been a couple of years already out there engaged in the noble cause, you know, and he probably felt the need at last of asserting his self-respect in some way.Therefore he whacked the old nigger mercilessly, while a big crowd of his people watched him, thunderstruck, till some man-I was told the chief‘s son-in desperation at hearing the old chap yell, made a tentative jab with a spear at the white man-and of course it went quite easy between the shoulder-blades.Then the whole population cleared into the forest, expecting all kinds of calamities to happen, while, on the other hand, the steamer Fresleven commanded left also in a bad panic, in charge of the engineer, I believe.Afterwards nobody seemed to trouble much about Fresleven’s remains, till I got out and stepped into his shoes.I couldn‘t let it rest though；but when an opportunity offered at last to meet my predecessor, the grass growing through his ribs was tall enough to hide his bones.They were all there.The supernatural being had not been touched after he fell.And the village was deserted, the huts gaped black, rotting, all askew within the fallen enclosures.A calamity had come to it, sure enough.The people had vanished.Mad terror had scattered them, men, women, and children, through the bush, and theyhad never returned.What became of the hens I don’t know either.I should think the cause of progress got them, anyhow.However, through this glorious affair I got my appointment, before I had fairly begun to hope for it.
“我得到了那份工作——那是當(dāng)然的，但比想象中快得多。聽說(shuō)這家公司收到消息，說(shuō)他們有個(gè)船長(zhǎng)在和當(dāng)?shù)厝说囊粓?chǎng)混戰(zhàn)中一命嗚呼了。真是千載難逢的好機(jī)會(huì)，這樣一來(lái)我更加迫不及待要去接替他了。很多個(gè)月后，我試圖去取回那個(gè)船長(zhǎng)的尸體，才聽說(shuō)他和當(dāng)?shù)厝巳氯缕饋?lái)的原因，是由幾只母雞引發(fā)的一場(chǎng)誤會(huì)。沒錯(cuò)，是兩只黑母雞。弗雷斯勒文——那個(gè)家伙的名字，一個(gè)丹麥人——認(rèn)為自己在這筆買賣中上當(dāng)受騙吃了虧，所以沖上岸，抄起一根棍子痛打那個(gè)村長(zhǎng)。唔，盡管有同事告訴我，弗雷斯勒文是用兩條腿行走的生物中最溫和沉靜的一個(gè)，我對(duì)這個(gè)故事也并不感到絲毫驚訝。他肯定是那樣的人。但他已經(jīng)在外為這崇高的事業(yè)打拼了好幾年，可能終于感到有必要向別人證明一下他也是有自尊心的，于是他殘忍地痛打那個(gè)老黑人，當(dāng)著一大群村民的面，把他們嚇得大氣不敢出，直到某個(gè)男子漢——聽說(shuō)是村長(zhǎng)的兒子——聽到那個(gè)老家伙喊得撕心裂肺的，實(shí)在忍無(wú)可忍，拿起長(zhǎng)矛向那白人試探性地一刺——一下子就刺進(jìn)了兩片肩胛骨之間。全村人馬上逃進(jìn)森林，等著大禍降臨，然而，另一方面，本來(lái)聽命于弗雷斯勒文的汽船慌慌張張地離開了，我相信是輪機(jī)手指揮的。過后似乎沒有人為弗雷斯勒文的遺體操心，直到我被派去接替他的職位。盡管我不能置之不理，但等到我終于有機(jī)會(huì)與我的前任相見的時(shí)候，從他肋骨之間長(zhǎng)出的荒草已經(jīng)高得足以淹沒他的骸骨了。倒也齊全。這一個(gè)超自然的人物倒下后，完全沒被碰過。村子已經(jīng)荒廢了，那些茅屋張大了黑洞洞的嘴巴，腐爛著，在倒塌了的圍欄內(nèi)東倒西歪。這里肯定橫遭了災(zāi)劫。村民都消失了。大難當(dāng)前，瘋狂的恐怖情緒在村民之間迅速傳播，他們四散狂奔，男人，女人，還有兒童，全都跑進(jìn)灌木叢中，一去不回。我也不知道后來(lái)那些母雞怎么樣了，但說(shuō)它們?yōu)檫M(jìn)步事業(yè)獻(xiàn)了身總還是可以的。然而，多虧了這一樁光榮的事件，我被任命為船長(zhǎng)。那時(shí)我都還沒來(lái)得及對(duì)得到這個(gè)職位心生希望呢。”

I flew around like mad to get ready, and before forty-eight hours I was crossing the Channel to show myself to my employers, and sign the contract. In a very few hours I arrived in a city that always makes me think of a whited sepulchre.Prejudice no doubt.I had no diffculty in fnding the Companys offces.It was the biggest thing in the town, and everybody I met was full of it.They were going to run an over-sea empire, and make no end of coin by trade.
“我發(fā)了瘋似的東奔西走，準(zhǔn)備赴任，不到四十八小時(shí)就已經(jīng)穿越英吉利海峽，見到我的雇主，簽訂好合同。不過短短幾個(gè)小時(shí)，我便到了一個(gè)城市，那個(gè)城市總是讓我想起一個(gè)精心粉刷過的巨大墳?zāi)?。那?dāng)然是一種偏見。我毫不費(fèi)力就找到了公司的辦公地點(diǎn)。它是這座城市的老大，我所遇到的每一個(gè)人都和它糾纏不清。他們正盤算著要營(yíng)建一個(gè)海外帝國(guó)，通過貿(mào)易賺取源源不斷的利潤(rùn)。”

A narrow and deserted street in deep shadow, high houses, innumerable windows with venetian blinds, a dead silence, grass sprouting between the stones, imposing carriage archways right and left, immense double doors standing ponderously ajar. I slipped through one of these cracks, went up a swept and ungarnished staircase, as arid as a desert, and opened the first door I came to.Two women, one fat and the other slim, sat on straw-bottomed chairs, knitting black wool.The slim one got up and walked straight at me-still knitting with downcast eyes-and only just as I began to think of getting out of her way, as you would for a somnambulist, stood still, and looked up.Her dress was as plain as an umbrella-cover, and she turned round without a word and preceded me into a waiting-room.I gave my name, and looked about.Deal table in the middle, plain chairs all round the walls, on one end a large shining map, marked with all the colours of a rainbow.There was a vast amount of red-good to see at any time, because one knows that some real work is done in there, a deuce of a lot of blue, a little green, smears of orange, and, on the East Coast, a purple patch, to show where the jolly pioneers of progress drink the jolly lager-beer.However, I wasnt going into anyof these.I was going into the yellow.Dead in the centre.And the river was there-fascinating-deadly-like a snake.Ough！A door opened, a white-haired secretarial head, but wearing a compassionate expression, appeared, and a skinny forefnger beckoned me into the sanctuary.Its light was dim, and a heavy writing-desk squatted in the middle.From behind that structure came out an impression of pale plumpness in a frock-coat.The great man himself.He was fve feet six, I should judge, and had his grip on the handle-end of ever so many millions.He shook hands, I fancy, murmured vaguely, was satisfed with my French.Bon voyage.
“我來(lái)到一條陰黑的街道上，狹窄荒涼，房屋都高高的，有無(wú)數(shù)帶百葉窗的窗戶，一片死寂，小草從石頭之間探出頭來(lái)，兩邊都是氣派的馬車拱道，巨大而沉重的雙扇門陰森地半開著。我找到一條門縫溜進(jìn)去，走上一道打掃得干干凈凈的樓梯，那樓梯很簡(jiǎn)陋，像沙漠一樣了無(wú)生氣。我推開碰上的第一扇門，看見兩位女士，一胖一瘦，正坐在墊了草墊的扶手椅里織黑毛線。瘦的那個(gè)站起來(lái)，徑直向我走過來(lái)——仍然低頭織著毛線——她好像是個(gè)夢(mèng)游者，我正想著給她讓道，她卻站住了，抬起頭來(lái)看看我。她的衣服平整得像個(gè)傘套。她默默轉(zhuǎn)身，把我?guī)нM(jìn)一個(gè)候見室。我報(bào)上姓名，在房間里東張西望。中央有一張松木桌，墻根散放著普通的椅子，房間一頭掛著一張巨大的地圖，閃閃發(fā)光，上面用彩虹的七色做了密密麻麻的標(biāo)記。有很多標(biāo)記成紅色的地方——紅色任何時(shí)候看起來(lái)都賞心悅目，因?yàn)槟且馕吨鴮?shí)實(shí)在在的工作成果。藍(lán)色的地方也非常多，還有一小片綠色，幾點(diǎn)橙色，在東海岸則有一小塊紫色，表示那些興高采烈的進(jìn)步先鋒們正在那里大喝令人興高采烈的拉格啤酒。然而，這些地方我都不想去。我要去標(biāo)記成黃色的地方，地圖的正中央。那條河正好在那兒——勾魂攝魄——陰森猙獰——像一條蛇。?。￠T開了，秘書的腦袋露出來(lái)，滿頭白發(fā)，一副悲天憫人的表情。他用瘦骨嶙峋的食指把我招呼到密室里去。密室里黑燈瞎火的，中間擺著一張沉重的寫字臺(tái)。我漸漸看清楚寫字臺(tái)后面的人影，白白胖胖，穿著雙排扣長(zhǎng)禮服。他就是老大。我看他大概五尺六寸高，動(dòng)動(dòng)手指頭就能調(diào)用成百上千萬(wàn)英鎊。他和我握手，大概是對(duì)我的法語(yǔ)很滿意吧，口齒不清地說(shuō)了句：一路順風(fēng)。”

In about forty-fve seconds I found myself again in the waiting-room with the compassionate secretary, who, full of desolation and sympathy, made me sign some document. I believe I undertook amongst other things not to disclose any trade secrets.Well, I am not going to.
“大約四十五秒后，我又回到了候見室，和那個(gè)悲天憫人的秘書待在一起。那個(gè)人滿懷傷感和同情地讓我簽了一份文件。我相信自己肯定做出了很多保證，包括不能泄露任何貿(mào)易秘密。我本來(lái)也沒想過要那樣做的嘛。”

I began to feel slightly uneasy. You know I am not used to such ceremonies, and there was something ominous in the atmosphere.It was just as though I had been let into some conspiracy-I dont know-something not quite right；and I was glad to get out.In the outer room the two women knitted black wool feverishly.People were arriving, and the younger one was walking back and forth introducing them.The old one sat on her chair.Her fat cloth slippers were propped up on a foot-warmer, and a cat reposed on her lap.She wore a starched white affair on her head, had a wart on one cheek, and silver-rimmed spectacles hung on the tip of her nose.She glanced at me above the glasses.The swift and indifferent placidity of that look troubled me.Two youths with foolish and cheery countenances were being piloted over, and she threw at them the same quick glance of unconcerned wisdom.She seemed to know all about them and about me too.An eerie feeling came over me.She seemed uncanny and fateful.Often far away there I thought of these two, guarding the door of Darkness, knitting black wool as for a warm pall, one introducing, introducing continuously to the unknown, the other scrutinising the cheery and foolish faces with unconcerned old eyes.Ave！Old knitter of black wool.Morituri te salutant.Not many of these she looked at ever saw her again-not half, by a long way.
“我開始感到有些不對(duì)勁兒。你們也知道我對(duì)這些官方程序很不習(xí)慣，而且那種氣氛讓人覺得不吉利，就好像我被卷入某個(gè)陰謀里似的——我也說(shuō)不清——反正就不是什么好事。從那個(gè)房間出來(lái)，我覺得輕松多了。那兩個(gè)女人還在外間緊張地埋頭織著黑毛線。不斷有人進(jìn)來(lái)，那個(gè)年輕一些的走來(lái)走去給他們引路。年紀(jì)大的那個(gè)坐在椅子上。她把平底布拖鞋抵在一個(gè)腳爐上，膝上躺著一只貓。她頭上包著一塊漿過的白布，也看不出是什么材料的，一邊臉上有顆疣子，一副銀邊眼鏡架在鼻尖上。她從眼鏡上方迅速掃了我一眼，漠然得好像我是空氣似的，真沒禮貌。又走過去兩個(gè)年輕人，看起來(lái)蠢得要命，卻又一臉喜相，她也同樣那么冷漠地看了他們一眼，好像她是個(gè)很有智慧的人似的。她似乎洞悉我們的一切。我不寒而栗。她仿佛有一種操控命運(yùn)的神秘力量。在我遠(yuǎn)赴他鄉(xiāng)的時(shí)候，常常想起這兩個(gè)女人，鎮(zhèn)守著黑暗的大門，用黑羊毛織著溫暖的裹尸布，一個(gè)負(fù)責(zé)帶路，不斷把人帶到?jīng)]有人認(rèn)識(shí)的地方，另一個(gè)瞪著那雙冷漠森然的老眼來(lái)檢查那些愉快而愚蠢的臉蛋。萬(wàn)福！織黑毛線的老人家。即將赴死的將士向您致敬。領(lǐng)教過她這種目光的人，沒幾個(gè)能再見到她——不到一半，遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)不到。”

There was yet a visit to the doctor.‘A simple formality，’assured me the secretary, with an air of taking an immense part in all my sorrows. Accordingly a young chap wearing his hat over the left eyebrow, some clerk I suppose-there must have been clerks in the business, though the house was as still as a house in a city of the dead-came from somewhere up-stairs and led me forth.He was shabby and careless, with ink-stains on the sleeves of his jacket, and his cravat was large and billowy, under a chin shaped like the toe of an old boot.It was a little too early for the doctor, so I proposed a drink, and thereupon he developed a vein of joviality.As we sat over our vermouths he glorified the Company‘s business and by and bye I expressed casually my surprise at him not going out there.He became very cool and collected all at once.’I am not such a fool as I look, quoth Plato to his disciples，he said sententiously, emptied his glass with great resolution, and we rose.
“還要去找醫(yī)生。‘例行手續(xù)而已。’秘書向我保證，好讓我放心，好像對(duì)于我所有的疑慮，他完全了解，而且深表同情。于是一個(gè)歪戴著帽子蓋住左眼眉的年輕伙計(jì)，大概是個(gè)文書吧——公司里肯定有文書，盡管這座房子就跟建在了墳?zāi)估锼频?，死氣沉?mdash;—從樓上某個(gè)地方走下來(lái)帶我去找醫(yī)生。他穿得又破又舊，一點(diǎn)兒也不講究。外套袖子上沾著墨水跡，皺巴巴的圍巾松垮垮地圍在脖子上，下巴像舊靴子的鞋尖一樣。時(shí)間還早，我提議去喝一杯，他馬上喜笑顏開。我們點(diǎn)了苦艾酒，他邊喝邊把公司的生意吹得天上有地下無(wú)，我隨口表示好奇，問他為什么不自己出去闖闖。他馬上變得又冷淡又嚴(yán)肅。‘借用柏拉圖對(duì)他門徒說(shuō)的話，我沒看起來(lái)那么笨。’他簡(jiǎn)短地說(shuō)，好像很壯烈地干了他的酒。我們站起身來(lái)。”

The old doctor felt my pulse, evidently thinking of something else the while.‘Good, good for there，’he mumbled, and then with a certain eagerness asked me whether I would let him measure my head. Rather surprised, I said Yes, when he produced a thing like callipers and got the dimensions back and front and every way, taking notes carefully.He was an unshaven little man in a threadbare coat like a gaberdine, with his feet in slippers, and I thought him a harmless fool.‘I always ask leave, in the interests of science, to measure the crania of those going out there，’he said.‘And when they come back too?’I asked.‘Oh, I never see them，’he remarked；‘and, moreover, the changes take place inside, you know.’He smiled, as if at some quiet joke.‘So you are going out there.Famous.Interesting too.’He gave me a searching glance, and made another note.‘Ever any madness in your family?’he asked, in a matter-of-fact tone.I felt very annoyed.‘Is that question in the interests of science too?’‘It would be，’he said, without taking notice of my irritation，‘interesting for science to watch the mental changes of individuals, on the spot, but……’‘Are you an alienist?’I interrupted.‘Every doctor should be-a little，’answered that original, imperturbably.‘I have a little theory which you Messieurs who go out there must help me to prove.This is my share in the advantages my country shall reap from the possession of such a magnifcent dependency.The mere wealth I leave to others.Pardon my questions, but you are the frst Englishman coming under my observation……’I hastened to assure him I was not in the least typical.‘If I were，’said I，‘I wouldn’t be talking like this with you.‘’What you say is rather profound, and probably erroneous，‘he said, with a laugh.’Avoid irritation more than exposure to the sun.Adieu.How do you English say, eh?Goodbye.Ah！Goodbye.Adieu.In the tropics one must before everything keep calm.‘……He lifted a warning forefnger……’Du calme, du calme.Adieu.
“那位老醫(yī)生給我診脈時(shí)，明顯有些心不在焉。‘好，去那兒沒問題。’他嘟嘟囔囔地說(shuō)，然后熱切地問我愿不愿意讓他量一量我的頭。我有些驚訝地說(shuō)可以，他就拿出一個(gè)像卡尺一樣的工具，從所有角度把我的頭骨量了一遍，仔細(xì)地記錄下來(lái)。他是個(gè)小個(gè)子，胡子拉碴的，穿著一件很舊的外套，像是工作服，踩著拖鞋，我覺得他是一個(gè)對(duì)人無(wú)害的笨蛋。‘為了科學(xué)的發(fā)展，凡是要到那里去的人，我都求他們讓我量量頭蓋骨。’他說(shuō)。‘等他們回來(lái)了，您會(huì)再量一遍嗎？’我問。‘哦，我沒見過他們回來(lái)，’他說(shuō)，‘再說(shuō)了，變化是內(nèi)在的，對(duì)不對(duì)？’他笑了，好像自己講了個(gè)隱晦的笑話。‘所以你是要到那里去了。真了不起。有趣極了。’他用銳利的目光掃了我一眼，又記下一條筆記。‘你的家族有精神病史嗎？’他用就事論事的語(yǔ)氣問道。我氣炸了。‘這也是為了科學(xué)的發(fā)展嗎？’‘在科學(xué)上，’他說(shuō)，并沒有注意到我有多么生氣，‘當(dāng)場(chǎng)密切關(guān)注個(gè)人精神狀態(tài)的變化是很有意義的，但是……’‘您是個(gè)精神病學(xué)家嗎？’我打斷他。‘應(yīng)該每個(gè)醫(yī)生都——多少懂一點(diǎn)兒吧。’那個(gè)怪人若無(wú)其事地說(shuō)，‘我有這么一個(gè)小觀點(diǎn)，麻煩你們這些到那里去的先生們務(wù)必幫我證實(shí)一下。我們國(guó)家有那么多屬地，想要什么有什么，我這要求也不算過分。這是我唯一能留給他人的財(cái)富。請(qǐng)不要為我的問題生氣，但你是我檢查的第一個(gè)英國(guó)人……’我忙告訴他我可一點(diǎn)兒也不具有代表性。‘要是我有，’我說(shuō)，‘就不會(huì)這么沒禮貌。’‘你這話夠深?yuàn)W的，不過事實(shí)也許并非如此。’他大笑著說(shuō)，‘避免暴怒，比避免暴曬更重要。慢走。你們英國(guó)人是怎么說(shuō)的來(lái)著？再會(huì)。??！再會(huì)。慢走。在熱帶地區(qū)，不管遇到什么事情，都要記住保持冷靜……’他舉起一根食指，以示警告……‘冷靜，冷靜。慢走。’”

One thing more remained to do-say goodbye to my excellent aunt. I found her triumphant.I had a cup of tea-the last decent cup of tea for many, many days-and in a room that most soothingly looked just as you would expect a lady‘s drawing-room to look, we had a long quiet chat by the fireside.In the course of these confidences it became quite plain to me I had been represented to the wife of the high dignitary, and goodness knows to how many more people besides, as an exceptional and gifted creature-a piece of good fortune for the Company-a man you don’t get hold of every day.Good heavens！and I was going to take charge of a two pence-halfpenny river-steamboat with a penny whistle attached！It appeared, however, I was also one of the Workers, with a capital-you know.Something like an emissary of light, something like a lower sortof apostle.There had been a lot of such rot let loose in print and talk just about that time, and the excellent woman, living right in the rush of all that humbug, got carried off her feet.She talked about‘weaning those ignorant millions from their horrid ways，’till, upon my word, she made me quite uncomfortable.I ventured to hint that the Company was run for proft.
“還要去做一件事情——向我那杰出的姨媽告辭。她見到我，欣喜若狂。我喝了杯茶——之后無(wú)數(shù)天我都喝不上這么像樣的茶了——在一個(gè)最最舒服的房間里，那可是貴婦的會(huì)客室，你們能想象得出有多舒服它就有多舒服。我們?cè)诨馉t旁安安靜靜地聊了很久很久。這時(shí)我才知道，她把我推薦給那位高官的夫人，還有天曉得其他多少人，說(shuō)我天賦非凡——對(duì)公司來(lái)說(shuō)簡(jiǎn)直是天降奇福——是百年不遇的人才。天??！我不過是要去指揮一條不值幾個(gè)錢的內(nèi)河汽船，它的汽笛幾乎不要錢！然而，那表明我也是一個(gè)名副其實(shí)的‘工作人員’，也算是光明的使者，低級(jí)傳教士。當(dāng)時(shí)書報(bào)上和言談里滿是這種蠢話，而那位杰出的女士正好生活在那陣鬼話的浪潮之中，被沖得暈頭轉(zhuǎn)向，快連自己是誰(shuí)都不知道了。她大談‘幫助那數(shù)百萬(wàn)無(wú)知的土人戒除陋習(xí)’，說(shuō)個(gè)不停，我都要聽不下去了。我壯起膽來(lái)，暗示說(shuō)公司就是想賺錢而已。”

‘You forget, dear Charles, that the labourer is worthy of his hire，’she said, brightly. Its queer how out of touch with truth women are！They live in a world of their own, and there had never been anything like it, and never can be.It is too beautiful altogether, and if they were to set it up it would go to pieces before the frst sunset.Some confounded fact we men have been living contentedly with ever since the day of creation would start up and knock the whole thing over.
“‘我親愛的查理，你忘了，他們也是通過付出勞動(dòng)賺取錢財(cái)?shù)摹?rsquo;她說(shuō)，好像很聰明伶俐似的。真是奇怪，女人怎么會(huì)這么天真！她們活在自己的世界里，這樣的世界從前沒有，以后也不會(huì)有。它太美好了，就算她們真的建起了這么一個(gè)世界，它也熬不過第一個(gè)日落。我們男人從創(chuàng)世之日起便坦然對(duì)待的某個(gè)混賬事實(shí)，會(huì)蹦出來(lái)打碎它。”

After this I got embraced, told to wear flannel, be sure to write often, and so on-and I left. In the street-I don‘t know why-a queer feeling came to me that I was an impostor.Odd thing that I, who used to clear out for any part of the world at twenty-four hours’notice, with less thought than most men give to the crossing of a street, had a moment-I wont say of hesitation, but of startled pause, before this commonplace affair.The best way I can explain it to you is by saying that, for a second or two, I felt as though, instead of going to the centre of a continent, I were about to set off for the centre of the earth.
“完了她擁抱我，囑咐我要穿上法蘭絨上衣，記得常常來(lái)信，等等——之后我就走了。在大街上——不知怎的——可奇怪了，我忽然覺得自己是個(gè)大騙子。太奇怪了，我這個(gè)人向來(lái)是接到通知之后二十四小時(shí)內(nèi)就能出發(fā)去任何地方的，就跟大多數(shù)人過馬路一樣，不需要思前想后，但有那么一瞬間——面對(duì)這么一件區(qū)區(qū)小事，雖說(shuō)不上是猶豫不決，我卻有點(diǎn)臨陣退縮。這么解釋最好了：有那么幾秒鐘，我覺得我要去的是地球的中心，而不是大陸的中心。”

I left in a French steamer, and she called in every blamed port they have out there, for, as far as I could see, the sole purpose of landing soldiers and custom-house officers. I watched the coast.Watching a coast as it slips by the ship is like thinking about an enigma.There it is before you-smiling, frowning, inviting, grand, mean, insipid, or savage, and always mute with an air of whispering, Come and find out.This one was almost featureless, as if still in the making, with an aspect ofmonotonous grimness.The edge of a colossal jungle, so dark-green as to be almost black, fringed with white surf, ran straight, like a ruled line, far, far along a blue sea whose glitter was blurred by a creeping mist.The sun was ferce, the land seemed to glisten and drip with steam.Here and there greyish-whitish specks showed up, clustered inside the white surf, with a flag flying above them perhaps.Settlements-settlements, some centuries old, and still no bigger than pin-heads on the untouched expanse of their background.We pounded along, stopped, landed soldiers；went on, landed custom-house clerks to levy toll in what looked like a God-forsaken wilderness, with a tin shed and a fag-pole lost in it；landed more soldiers-to take care of the custom-house clerks, presumably.Some, I heard, got drowned in the surf；but whether they did or not, nobody seemed particularly to care.They were just flung out there, and on we went.Every day the coast looked the same, as though we had not moved；but we passed various places-trading places-with names like Gran‘Bassam, Little Popo, names that seemed to belong to some sordid farce acted in front of a sinister backcloth.The idleness of a passenger, my isolation amongst all these men with whom I had no point of contact, the oily and languid sea, the uniform sombreness of the coast, seemed to keep me away from the truth of things, within the toils of a mournful and senseless delusion.The voice of the surf heard now and then was a positive pleasure, like the speech of a brother.It was something natural, that had its reason, that had a meaning.Now and then a boat from the shore gave one a momentary contact with reality.It was paddled by black fellows.You could see from afar the white of their eyeballs glistening.They shouted, sang；their bodies streamed with perspiration；they had faces like grotesque masks-these chaps；but they had bone, muscle, a wild vitality, an intense energy of movement, that was as natural and true as the surf along their coast.They wanted no excuse for being there.They were a great comfort to look at.For a time I would feel I belonged still to a world of straightforward facts；but the feeling would not last long.Something would turn up to scare it away.Once, I remember, we came upon a man-of-war anchored off the coast.There wasn’t even a shed there, and she was shelling the bush.It appears the French had one of their wars going on thereabouts.Her ensign drooped limp like a rag；the muzzles of the long eight-inch guns stuck out all over the low hull；the greasy, shiny swell swung her up lazily and let her down, swaying her thin masts.In the empty immensity of earth, sky, and water, there she was, incomprehensible, fring into a continent.Pop, would go one of the eight-inch guns；a small fame would dart and vanish, a little white smoke would disappear, a tiny projectile would give a feeble screech-and nothing happened.Nothing could happen.There was a touch of insanity in the proceeding, a sense of lugubrious drollery in the sight；and it was not dissipated by somebody on board assuring me earnestly there was a camp of natives-he called them enemies！—hidden out of sight somewhere.
“我坐一艘法國(guó)輪船離開，她經(jīng)停每一個(gè)屬于公司的混賬港口，據(jù)我了解就只是為了送士兵和海關(guān)官員上岸。我一路盯著海岸看?？粗０痘^輪船，就像在猜謎。它就在眼前——笑著，皺著眉，歡迎著，宏偉，殘忍，無(wú)聊，或野蠻，好像一路在無(wú)聲地對(duì)人輕輕說(shuō)著：來(lái)看看我葫蘆里賣的是什么藥！這片海岸平淡無(wú)奇，好像還沒修好似的，只是一味的陰森凄涼。那一大片叢林的邊緣綠得發(fā)黑，鑲著白色的海浪，仿佛用尺子畫出來(lái)的白線，筆直地沿著一片藍(lán)色的海洋延伸開去，薄霧慢慢升上來(lái)，遮住海水的閃光。烈日炎炎，陸地仿佛也在放光，冒著水汽，濕淋淋的。白浪里不時(shí)冒出一些灰白的斑點(diǎn)，有些頂上飄著旗。是居民點(diǎn)——這些有著幾百年歷史的居民點(diǎn)，在那片未被開發(fā)的遼闊背景下，不過像針尖一般渺小。我們乘風(fēng)破浪，靠岸，丟下幾個(gè)士兵；繼續(xù)前進(jìn)，在關(guān)稅站丟下幾個(gè)海關(guān)職員——那些關(guān)稅站就是些用馬口鐵做的棚子，支著旗桿，隱沒在一片仿佛被上帝遺棄了的荒野中；再丟下幾個(gè)士兵——大概是要他們?nèi)ケＷo(hù)那些海關(guān)職員吧。聽說(shuō)有些士兵掉到海里淹死了，但似乎沒人在意。把他們送到目的地就完事了，我們繼續(xù)前進(jìn)。海岸每天看起來(lái)都一模一樣，我們仿佛在原地打轉(zhuǎn)，但實(shí)際上我們已經(jīng)駛過了許多地方——貿(mào)易點(diǎn)——叫什么大巴薩姆啊、小波波啊之類的，這些名字讓人想到那些在猙獰的幕布前演出的下流鬧劇。乘客的日子百無(wú)聊賴，而且我和同行的人沒共同語(yǔ)言，別提有多孤單了。那片海洋像被油污了似的，令人昏昏欲睡，加上那永遠(yuǎn)面目沉暗的海岸，仿佛遠(yuǎn)離了真實(shí)的世界，弄得我情緒低落，整日胡思亂想，簡(jiǎn)直要發(fā)瘋。不時(shí)傳來(lái)的海浪聲歡快清新，仿佛兄弟的笑語(yǔ)。那自然的聲音，有它自己的因緣和含義。忽然一條船從岸邊劃過來(lái)，暫時(shí)地將這畫面變成了一道現(xiàn)世的風(fēng)景。黑人們?cè)趧潣h(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)地就能看見他們那些白得發(fā)亮的眼珠。他們大喊大叫，放聲歌唱；他們大汗淋漓；他們的臉像古怪的面具——這些家伙啊；但他們有骨頭，有肌肉，有一種狂野的生命力，動(dòng)作散發(fā)著無(wú)窮的力量，就像岸邊的海浪一樣自然真實(shí)。他們仿佛天然地就應(yīng)該出現(xiàn)在那里?？粗麄?，但覺心曠神怡。那一陣子我會(huì)感到自己又回到了那個(gè)無(wú)遮無(wú)掩的現(xiàn)實(shí)世界，但那種感覺終歸是短暫的，總有點(diǎn)什么會(huì)冒出來(lái)驚散它。我記得有一次我們偶遇一艘停泊在岸邊的軍艦。岸上連一間棚屋都沒有，那軍艦卻在向灌木叢使勁兒放炮，看來(lái)法國(guó)人正在那附近打仗。她的船旗像塊破布一樣死沉沉地耷拉著，船身低處的八英寸長(zhǎng)筒炮全部升了起來(lái)。油污的海浪一閃一閃，懶洋洋地把它拋上拋下，那單薄的桅桿東搖西擺。在這一片巨大的虛空中，只有大地、天空和海洋，她卻在那里不可理喻地向一片大陸開著火。砰！一門八英寸長(zhǎng)筒炮開火了，一小團(tuán)火焰狂奔而出，轉(zhuǎn)眼就熄滅了，那縷瘦瘦的白煙也隨之消失，一顆小小的炮彈低低地慘叫一聲——然后什么事也沒有。能有什么事呢？這個(gè)過程真有點(diǎn)神經(jīng)兮兮的，一個(gè)可笑又可嘆的場(chǎng)面。船上有人一本正經(jīng)地向我解釋說(shuō)那里有一個(gè)土著的軍營(yíng)——他竟然叫他們敵人！——藏在岸上某個(gè)地方，說(shuō)得言之鑿鑿的。但那并不能改變我的感受。”

We gave her her letters（I heard the men in that lonely ship were dying of fever at the rate of three a day）and went on. We called at some more places with farcical names, where the merry dance of death and trade goes on in a still and earthy atmosphere as of an overheated catacomb；all along the formless coast bordered by dangerous surf, as if Nature herself had tried to ward off intruders；in and out of rivers, streams of death in life, whose banks were rotting into mud, whose waters, thickening into slime, invaded the contorted mangroves, that seemed to writhe at us in the extremity of an impotent despair.Nowhere did we stop long enough to get a particularised impression, but the general sense of vague and oppressive wonder grew upon me.It was like a weary pilgrimage amongst hints for nightmares.
“我們把信送到那條船上（聽說(shuō)在那艘孤獨(dú)的船上，每天都有三個(gè)人死于熱病）后繼續(xù)前進(jìn)。我們又在一些名字古怪的港口靠岸，它們像熱得過分的地下古墓，寧?kù)o的空氣里彌漫著泥土味，死神和貿(mào)易在墓里翩翩起舞。我們沿著沒有固定形狀的海岸前行，浪花冷酷兇險(xiǎn)地拍著岸，就像大自然正自發(fā)努力想要擋開入侵者。一條又一條的河，死亡之流源源不絕地流出流入，把河岸腐蝕成爛泥，河水變污變稠，摧毀著扭曲的紅樹林，那些樹好像在向我們痛苦地扭動(dòng)著，極端絕望，束手無(wú)策。我們?cè)谌魏我粋€(gè)地方都待不長(zhǎng)，無(wú)法留下特別詳細(xì)的印象，只是籠統(tǒng)地覺得有一種日益滋長(zhǎng)的疑惑，模糊而滯悶。就像走不完的旅程，無(wú)聊透頂，仿佛一場(chǎng)噩夢(mèng)。”

It was upwards of thirty days before I saw the mouth of the bigriver. We anchored off the seat of the government.But my work would not begin till some two hundred miles further on.So as soon as I could I made a start for a place thirty miles higher up.
“走了三十多天，終于看到那條大河的河口。我們的船停泊在政府所在地附近的岸邊。但我還要往前走兩百多英里才能開工。所以我逮住一個(gè)機(jī)會(huì)，出發(fā)去上游三十英里的一個(gè)地方。”

I had my passage on a little sea-going steamer. Her captain was a Swede, and knowing me for a seaman, invited me on the bridge.He was a young man, lean, fair, and morose, with lanky hair and a shuffing gait.As we left the miserable little wharf, he tossed his head contemptuously at the shore.‘Been living there?’he asked.I said，‘Yes.’‘Fine lot these government chaps-are they not?’he went on, speaking English with great precision and considerable bitterness.‘It is funny what some people will do for a few francs a month.I wonder what becomes of that kind when it goes up country?’I told him I expected to see that soon.‘So-o-o！’he exclaimed.He shuffed athwart, keeping one eye ahead vigilantly.‘Don’t be too sure，‘he continued.’The other day I took up a man who hanged himself on the road.He was a Swede, too.‘’Hanged himself！Why, in God‘s name?’I cried.He kept on looking out watchfully.‘Who knows?The sun too much for him, or the country perhaps.’
“我坐的是一條航海小汽船。船長(zhǎng)是瑞典人，聽說(shuō)我是個(gè)水手，就請(qǐng)我到駕駛臺(tái)上去。他很年輕，瘦削白皙，神情陰郁，頭發(fā)細(xì)長(zhǎng)，走起路來(lái)拖泥帶水。我們離開那個(gè)凄慘的小碼頭時(shí)，他輕蔑地向岸邊甩甩頭。‘您就住那兒？’他問。我說(shuō)：‘沒錯(cuò)。’‘那些政府官員真夠意思——不是嗎？’他繼續(xù)說(shuō)，說(shuō)的是英文，用語(yǔ)極度精確，話里藏針，‘真是有意思，有些人為了一個(gè)月掙那幾個(gè)法郎，簡(jiǎn)直什么都做得出來(lái)。我真想知道上游是什么光景。’我告訴他我很快就能看到了。‘這樣?。?rsquo;他驚叫起來(lái)。他橫拖著步子走了幾步，警覺地注視著前方。‘不要掉以輕心，’他繼續(xù)說(shuō)道，‘前幾天我救起了一個(gè)家伙，他在路上上吊自殺。也是個(gè)瑞典人。’‘上吊自殺！天??！有什么看不開的？’我喊了出來(lái)。他依然保持著警覺。‘誰(shuí)知道呢？實(shí)在受不了那大太陽(yáng)，又或者是那鬼地方。’”

At last we opened a reach. A rocky cliff appeared, mounds of turned-up earth by the shore, houses on a hill, others, with iron roofs, amongst a waste of excavations, or hanging to the declivity.A continuous noise of rapids above hovered over this scene of inhabited devastation.A lot of people, mostly black and naked, moved about like ants.A jetty projected into the river.A blinding sunlight drowned all this at times in a sudden recrudescence of glare.‘There’s your Company‘s station，’said the Swede, pointing to three wooden barrack-like structures hanging on the rocky slope.‘I will send your things up.Four boxes did you say?So.Farewell.’
“最后，我們駛進(jìn)一條開闊的水道，看見一道巖石滿布的懸崖，岸邊翻出成堆的泥土，一座小山上有許多房子。在被挖出來(lái)的一堆堆廢物之間，在山坡上，散落著其他用鐵皮做頂?shù)姆孔?。上方不斷傳?lái)急流的響聲，在這片住了人的廢墟上回旋激蕩。很多人，幾乎都是黑皮膚，赤身裸體，像螞蟻一樣竄來(lái)竄去。一個(gè)小碼頭伸入河中。陽(yáng)光忽然變得刺眼，讓人什么都看不見。‘那就是您公司的貿(mào)易站，’瑞典人說(shuō)，指著三間像兵營(yíng)一樣的木屋子，它們顫巍巍地架在滿是巖石的斜坡上，‘我找人幫您把東西運(yùn)上去。您是說(shuō)四個(gè)箱子吧？祝您好運(yùn)。再見。’”

I came upon a boiler wallowing in the grass, then found a path leading up the hill. It turned aside for the boulders, and also for anundersized railway-truck lying there on its back with its wheels in the air.One was off.The thing looked as dead as the carcass of some animal.I came upon more pieces of decaying machinery, a stack of rusty rails.To the left a clump of trees made a thick shade, where dark things seemed to stir feebly.I blinked, the path was steep.A horn tooted to the right, and I saw the black people run.A heavy and dull detonation shook the ground, a puff of smoke came out of the cliff, and that was all.No change appeared on the face of the rock.They were building a railway.The cliff was not in the way or anything；but this objectless blasting was all the work going on.
“我在路上碰上一個(gè)深埋在草叢里的鍋爐，又發(fā)現(xiàn)了一條通上山的小路。這條路繞開了所有擋道的大石頭，以及一節(jié)輪子朝天的鐵皮火車車廂。其中一個(gè)輪子不見了。這節(jié)車廂躺在那里一動(dòng)不動(dòng)，就像某只動(dòng)物的尸體一樣。一路上我看見更多朽爛的機(jī)器和一堆生銹的鐵軌。在路的左邊，一片樹林投下一塊濃蔭，里面似乎有些什么黑暗的物體在衰弱地蠕動(dòng)著。我眨眨眼，前面的路很陡。路的右邊傳來(lái)號(hào)角聲，我看見很多黑人跑過。突然響起一陣沉悶的爆炸聲，地動(dòng)山搖，懸崖上冒出一股煙，然后一切恢復(fù)正常。巖石的外表沒有發(fā)生任何變化。他們正在修鐵路。那懸崖并沒有擋道，但這種盲目的爆破就是他們的全部工作。”

A slight clinking behind me made me turn my head. Six black men advanced in a fle, toiling up the path.They walked erect and slow, balancing small baskets full of earth on their heads, and the clink kept time with their footsteps.Black rags were wound round their loins, and the short ends behind wagged to and fro like tails.I could see every rib, the joints of their limbs were like knots in a rope；each had an iron collar on his neck, and all were connected together with a chain whose bights swung between them, rhythmically clinking.Another report from the cliff made me think suddenly of that ship of war I had seen firing into a continent.It was the same kind of ominous voice；but these men could by no stretch of imagination be called enemies.They were called criminals, and the outraged law, like the bursting shells, had come to them, an insoluble mystery from over the sea.All the meagre breasts panted together, the violently dilated nostrils quivered, the eyes stared stonily up-hill.They passed me within six inches, without a glance, with that complete, deathlike indifference of unhappy savages.Behind this raw matter one of the reclaimed, the product of the new forces at work, strolled despondently, carrying a rifle by its middle.He had a uniform jacket with one button off, and seeing a white man on the path, hoisted hisweapon on to his shoulder with alacrity.This was simple prudence, white men being so much alike at a distance that he could not tell who I might be.He was speedily reassured, and with a large, white, rascally grin, and a glance at his charge, seemed to take me into partnership in his exalted trust.After all, I also was a part of the great cause of these high and just proceedings.
“我身后傳來(lái)一陣輕細(xì)的叮當(dāng)聲，引得我回過頭看。六個(gè)黑人排成一排，艱難地沿著小路往上爬。他們挺直身子，慢慢地爬，頭上頂著裝滿土的小籃，小心翼翼，每走一步便是一陣叮當(dāng)聲。他們的腰部纏著黑色的破布，后面垂下短短的一截，像尾巴一樣搖來(lái)?yè)u去。他們的每條肋骨都清晰可見，四肢的關(guān)節(jié)就像繩子上打的結(jié)。每個(gè)人頸上都有一個(gè)鐵項(xiàng)圈，一條鐵鏈把所有項(xiàng)圈拴在一起，鏈環(huán)在他們之間左搖右晃，發(fā)出節(jié)奏清晰的叮當(dāng)聲。從懸崖那邊又傳來(lái)一陣爆炸聲，我突然想起之前看到過的那艘軍艦，向陸地開火的那艘。一樣是不吉祥的聲音。但再異想天開些，眼前這些人也不會(huì)像敵人。他們被稱為罪犯，那被忤逆了的法律，就像炸開了的炮彈一樣擊中了他們，是一個(gè)來(lái)自海洋的謎，無(wú)法解釋。他們瘦弱的胸膛全在一起喘著氣，撐開了的鼻孔顫抖著，眼光呆滯地盯著山上。他們就這樣從我身邊經(jīng)過，離我不到六英寸，沒有看我一眼，渾身上下透著土人在遭難時(shí)那種完全的冷漠，就好像他們已經(jīng)死了。在這些生番后面，走著一個(gè)已經(jīng)受過教化的黑人。他是新勢(shì)力得勢(shì)后的產(chǎn)物，提著一支來(lái)復(fù)槍半死不活地慢慢走著。他穿一件掉了一個(gè)紐扣的制服外套，看見路上有個(gè)白人，連忙把武器舉到肩膀。這么做只是慎重起見。隔這么遠(yuǎn)，白人看起來(lái)都是一個(gè)樣的，他無(wú)法分辨我可能是什么人。他很快放下心來(lái)，綻開一個(gè)大大的笑容，猥瑣下流，充分展露了他的白牙。他掃了一眼他負(fù)責(zé)看管的犯人，仿佛邀請(qǐng)我去和他一起分享這份光榮的職責(zé)。畢竟，這項(xiàng)崇高正義的偉業(yè)方興未艾，而我是其中一部分。”

Instead of going up, I turned and descended to the left. My idea was to let that chain-gang get out of sight before I climbed the hill.You know I am not particularly tender；I‘ve had to strike and to fend off.I’ve had to resist and to attack sometimes-that‘s only one way of resisting-without counting the exact cost, according to the demands of such sort of life as I had blundered into.I’ve seen the devil of violence, and the devil of greed, and the devil of hot desire；but, by all the stars！these were strong, lusty, red-eyed devils, that swayed and drove men-men, I tell you.But as I stood on this hillside, I foresaw that in the blinding sunshine of that land I would become acquainted with a fabby, pretending, weak-eyed devil of a rapacious and pitiless folly.How insidious he could be, too, I was only to fnd out several months later and a thousand miles further.For a moment I stood appalled, as though by a warning.Finally I descended the hill, obliquely, towards the trees I had seen.
“我沒有往上爬，轉(zhuǎn)身從左邊下坡。我這么做，是想等看不見這排鎖在鐵鏈里的人之后再上山。我可不是個(gè)溫婉的家伙，迫不得已的時(shí)候我也曾奮起自衛(wèi)過。有時(shí)候我也被逼反抗和進(jìn)攻——進(jìn)攻只是一種反抗的方式——這樣的一時(shí)沖動(dòng)可能會(huì)改變我的人生，帶來(lái)種種后果，然而我無(wú)暇精打細(xì)算。我見識(shí)過暴力的魔鬼、貪婪的魔鬼和渴望的魔鬼，但是，上天做證！這些魔鬼都強(qiáng)大、健壯和雙眼發(fā)紅，迷惑并奴役著人——是的，是人。但當(dāng)我站在這個(gè)山腰上，我能預(yù)見到在那塊土地上，奪目的陽(yáng)光里，我將很快認(rèn)識(shí)一個(gè)新的魔鬼，他貪得無(wú)厭，笨得要死，滿身贅肉，故作姿態(tài)，鼠目寸光。再過幾個(gè)月，再走一千英里，我就能知道他有多么陰毒奸狡。我突然站定了，滿心恐懼，好像受到了警告一般。最后我七彎八拐地下了山，去找之前看到的那片樹林。”

I avoided a vast, artifcial hole somebody had been digging on the slope, the purpose of which I found it impossible to divine. It wasn‘t a quarry or a sandpit, anyhow.It was just a hole.It might have been connected with the philanthropic desire of giving the criminals something to do.I don’t know.Then I nearly fell into a very narrow ravine, almost no more than a scar in the hillside.I discovered that a lot of imported drainage-pipes for the settlement had been tumbled in there.There wasnt one that was not broken.It was a wanton smash-up.At last I got under the trees.My purpose was to stroll into the shade for a moment；but no soonerwithin than it seemed to me I had stepped into the gloomy circle of some Inferno.The rapids were near, and an uninterrupted, uniform, headlong, rushing noise flled the mournful stillness of the grove, where not a breath stirred, not a leaf moved, with a mysterious sound-as though the tearing pace of the launched earth had suddenly become audible.
“我繞開一個(gè)人工挖出來(lái)的大洞，那洞好像挖了很久，但挖來(lái)干什么，我無(wú)從猜測(cè)。反正不是采石場(chǎng)或者采沙坑，就只是個(gè)洞。也許是有人忽發(fā)善心，想要讓那些罪犯有事可做吧。我不知道。然后我差點(diǎn)掉進(jìn)一條非常狹窄的山溝，它不過就像山腰上的一道小疤痕。我發(fā)現(xiàn)有很多供居民點(diǎn)使用的排水管被扔在溝里。那可是千里迢迢運(yùn)來(lái)的，現(xiàn)在卻沒一根是好的。真是一團(tuán)糟。后來(lái)我終于找到了那片樹林。我本來(lái)是想在樹蔭下散會(huì)兒步的，但一走進(jìn)去，就好像踏進(jìn)了某個(gè)地獄的一圈陰影里。急流近在咫尺，在寂靜得哀傷的小樹林里，只聽見那陣猛烈的水聲，持續(xù)不斷，單調(diào)乏味，急急忙忙。樹林里一絲風(fēng)也沒有，所有樹葉都凝滯不動(dòng)，卻有那么一陣神秘的聲響——仿佛地球那轟轟隆隆的腳步聲突然變得清晰可聞。”

Black shapes crouched, lay, sat between the trees, leaning against the trunks, clinging to the earth, half coming out, half effaced within the dim light, in all the attitudes of pain, abandonment, and despair. Another mine on the cliff went off, followed by a slight shudder of the soil under my feet.The work was going on.The work！And this was the place where some of the helpers had withdrawn to die.
“許多黑色的人影蜷伏著、躺著或是倚著樹干坐在樹與樹之間，他們仿佛長(zhǎng)在地里，一半暴露在地上，一半隱沒在陰影中，做出各種痛苦、聽天由命和絕望的姿勢(shì)。懸崖那邊又爆炸了，我腳下的土地一陣輕輕戰(zhàn)栗。人們還在那邊工作著。工作！那些無(wú)法再工作的人，就來(lái)這里等死。”

They were dying slowly-it was very clear. They were not enemies, they were not criminals, they were nothing earthly now-nothing but black shadows of disease and starvation, lying confusedly in the greenish gloom.Brought from all the recesses of the coast in all the legality of time contracts, lost in uncongenial surroundings, fed on unfamiliar food, they sickened, became ineffcient, and were then allowed to crawl away and rest.These moribund shapes were free as air-and nearly as thin.I began to distinguish the gleam of eyes under the trees.Then, glancing down, I saw a face near my hand.The black bones reclined at full length with one shoulder against the tree, and slowly the eyelids rose and the sunken eyes looked up at me, enormous and vacant, a kind of blind, white ficker in the depths of the orbs, which died out slowly.The man seemed young-almost a boy-but you know with them it‘s hard to tell.I found nothing else to do but to offer him one of my good Swede’s ships biscuits I had in my pocket.The fngers closed slowly on it and held-there was no other movement and no other glance.He had tied a bit of white worsted round his neck-Why?Where did he get it?Was it a badge-an ornament-a charm-a propitiatory act?Was there any idea at all connected with it?Itlooked startling round his black neck, this bit of white thread from beyond the seas.
“他們正慢慢死去——非常明顯。他們不是敵人，他們不是罪犯，他們不再是現(xiàn)世的存在物——什么也不是，只是疾病和饑餓的黑影，亂糟糟地躺在墨綠色的陰影中。通過完全合法的定期合同，有人把他們從沿岸各個(gè)隱蔽之處招聘來(lái)。他們?cè)谶@惡劣的環(huán)境中茫然無(wú)助，食物吃不慣，生了病，無(wú)法繼續(xù)工作，就被允許爬到這里來(lái)休息。這些奄奄一息的影子就像空氣一樣輕飄飄的——也差不多跟空氣一樣稀薄。我開始看見樹下有許多眼睛在泛著光。然后，我低頭看時(shí)，發(fā)現(xiàn)手邊有一張臉。一副黑色的人骨挺得筆直，一個(gè)肩膀抵著樹，眼皮緩緩抬起，凹陷的眼睛翻上來(lái)看看我，巨大而空洞，一種盲人似的白光在眼底微微閃爍，慢慢熄滅。似乎還很年輕——幾乎是個(gè)小孩兒——但很難看出他們的真實(shí)年齡。我覺得好像應(yīng)該做點(diǎn)什么，便從口袋里掏出一塊我乘坐的那上好的瑞典船上的餅干給他。他的手指慢慢閉攏起來(lái)，抓住了那塊餅干——再?zèng)]有其他動(dòng)作，也沒有再看我一眼。他的脖子上綁著一縷白色的精紡毛線——為什么？他從哪兒得來(lái)的？那是一個(gè)記號(hào)——一種裝飾——一個(gè)符咒——還是一種祈愿的儀式？它到底有沒有含義？這一縷屬于海洋彼岸的白毛線，竟然纏在他的脖子上，實(shí)在有些格格不入。”

Near the same tree two more, bundles of acute angles, sat with their legs drawn up. One, with his chin propped on his knees, stared at nothing, in an intolerable and appalling manner：his brother phantom rested its forehead, as if overcome with a great weariness；and all about others were scattered in every pose of contorted collapse, as in some picture of a massacre or a pestilence.While I stood horror-struck, one of these creatures rose to his hands and knees, and went off on all-fours towards the river to drink.He lapped out of his hand, then sat up in the sunlight, crossing his shins in front of him, and after a time let his woolly head fall on his breastbone.
“在這棵樹旁邊，還有兩副尖瘦的黑骨頭抱膝而坐。其中一個(gè)把下巴支在膝蓋上，呆呆地瞪著眼睛，那神情恐怖非常，讓人不敢多看。他的同伴，另一個(gè)幽靈則把額頭枕在膝蓋上，像被巨大的疲倦打垮了。其他人分散在各處，姿勢(shì)各異，扭曲著茍延殘喘，就像畫里面大屠殺或者大瘟疫的場(chǎng)景。我站在那里，震驚得呆若木雞，忽然一個(gè)幽靈用手和膝蓋撐起身來(lái)，手腳并用，爬向河邊喝水。他舔干雙手，在陽(yáng)光中坐起來(lái)，盤起雙腿，不多久，他那毛茸茸的腦袋便沉沉地垂到胸骨上。”

I didnt want any more loitering in the shade, and I made haste towards the station. When near the buildings I met a white man, in such an unexpected elegance of get-up that in the frst moment I took him for a sort of vision.I saw a high starched collar, white cuffs, a light alpaca jacket, snowy trousers, a clear silk necktie, and varnished boots.No hat.Hair parted, brushed, oiled, under a green-lined parasol held in a big white hand.He was amazing, and had a penholder behind his ear.
“我不愿久留，匆忙逃向貿(mào)易站。走近那片建筑物的時(shí)候，我碰到一個(gè)白人，他的裝束出乎意料的優(yōu)雅，乍一看還以為是幻覺。我看見一個(gè)高高的衣領(lǐng)，漿得挺直，干干凈凈的白袖口，淺色的羊駝毛夾克，雪白的長(zhǎng)褲，鮮亮的領(lǐng)帶，擦得锃亮的皮靴。他沒戴帽子。分頭，頭發(fā)刷得油亮亮的，一只大白手撐著一把綠紋遮陽(yáng)傘。他真是神奇，耳后還夾著一管自來(lái)水筆桿。”

I shook hands with this miracle, and I learned he was the Company‘s chief accountant, and that all the book-keeping was done at this station. He had come out for a moment, he said，’to get a breath of fresh air.‘The expression sounded wonderfully odd, with its suggestion of sedentary desk-life.I wouldn’t have mentioned the fellow to you at all, only it was from his lips that I frst heard the name of the man who is so indissolubly connected with the memories of that time.Moreover, I respected the fellow.Yes；I respected his collars, his vast cuffs, his brushed hair.His appearance was certainly that of a hairdresser‘s dummy；but in the great demoralisation of the land he kept up his appearance.That’s backbone！His starched collars and got-up shirt-fronts were achievements of character.He had been out nearly three years；and, later on, I could not help asking him how he managed to sport such linen.He had just the faintest blush, and said modestly，‘I’ve been teaching one of the native women about the station.It was diffcult.She had a distaste for the work.Thus this man had, verily, accomplished something.And he was devoted to his books, which were in apple-pie order.
“我和這一奇跡握手，得知他是公司的會(huì)計(jì)主任，公司所有賬目都?xì)w這個(gè)貿(mào)易站整理和登記。他溜出來(lái)一小會(huì)兒，按他的話說(shuō)，‘出來(lái)透透氣’。這話聽起來(lái)奇怪得很，背后是沒完沒了的案牘生活。要不是我是從他嘴里第一次聽到另一個(gè)人的名字，而這另一個(gè)人又是這段回憶不可或缺的一部分，我根本不會(huì)向你們提及他。況且，我也尊敬這個(gè)家伙。我尊敬他。我尊敬他的衣領(lǐng)，他那巨大的袖口，他那刷得油亮亮的腦袋。他看起來(lái)確實(shí)跟理發(fā)店櫥窗里的假人模特一式一樣，但在這樣一片毫無(wú)生氣的土地上，他竟保住了光鮮的外表，多么有骨氣！他那漿硬的領(lǐng)子和胸部筆挺的襯衫代表著人格的成就。他到這里來(lái)差不多有三年了，我忍不住問他是怎樣把衣服打理得那么像樣的。他雙頰微微泛紅，謙虛地說(shuō)：‘我在教站里的一個(gè)土著女人做事。真是不容易，她本來(lái)可討厭這些業(yè)務(wù)了。’這么說(shuō)來(lái)，這個(gè)人還真有點(diǎn)貢獻(xiàn)。他也傾盡心思在賬簿上，把它們整理得井井有條。”

Everything else in the station was in a muddle-heads, things, buildings. Caravans, strings of dusty niggers with splay feet arrived and departed；a stream of manufactured goods, rubbishy cottons, beads, and brass wire set off into the depths of darkness, and in return came a precious trickle of ivory.
“站里其他的一切都雜亂無(wú)章——人啊，物啊，房子啊。商隊(duì)，一隊(duì)隊(duì)八字腳的黑人，風(fēng)塵仆仆地來(lái)來(lái)去去，工業(yè)產(chǎn)品、劣質(zhì)的棉花、珠子和銅線絡(luò)繹不絕地被運(yùn)進(jìn)黑暗深處，涓涓細(xì)流一般地?fù)Q回珍稀的象牙。”

I had to wait in the station for ten days-an eternity. I lived in a tent in the yard, but to be out of the chaos I would sometimes get into the accountant‘s office.It was built of horizontal planks, and so badly put together that, as he bent over his high desk, he was barred from neck to heels with narrow strips of sunlight.There was no need to open the big shutter to see.It was hot there too；big flies buzzed fiendishly, and did not sting, but stabbed.I sat generally on the foor, while, of faultless appearance（and even slightly scented），perching on a high stool, he wrote, he wrote.Sometimes he stood up for exercise.When a truckle-bed with a sick man（some invalided’agent‘from up country）was hurriedly put in there, he exhibited a gentle annoyance.’The groans of this sick person，‘he said，’distract my attention.And without that it is extremely diffcult to guard against clerical errors in this climate.
我要在這個(gè)貿(mào)易站等十天——簡(jiǎn)直望不到頭。我在院子里支了個(gè)帳篷住著，但為了避開那片混亂，我有時(shí)會(huì)躲進(jìn)會(huì)計(jì)辦公室。那是用橫條木板建成的，手工很差，會(huì)計(jì)主任在高高的書桌上伏案工作的時(shí)候，渾身上下滿是一條條窄窄的陽(yáng)光。不用拉開百葉窗也能看到外面。辦公室里也很熱，大蒼蠅惡毒地嗡嗡作響，雖然不叮人，卻四處撞人。我一般坐在地上，他則高高地坐在高腳凳上寫個(gè)不停，一身裝束無(wú)懈可擊（甚至微微生香）。有時(shí)他站起來(lái)活動(dòng)筋骨。有人匆匆忙忙地把一張裝有腳輪的矮床推進(jìn)辦公室，上面躺著一個(gè)病人（某個(gè)從內(nèi)地來(lái)的代理人），他表示出微微的惱怒。‘這位病人的呻吟聲，’他說(shuō)，‘使我無(wú)法集中精神。在這種氣候里，如果不能高度集中精神，算錯(cuò)賬是很難避免的。’

One day he remarked, without lifting his head，‘In the interior you will no doubt meet Mr. Kurtz.’On my asking who Mr.Kurtz was, he said he was a first-class agent；and seeing my disappointment at this information, he added slowly, laying down his pen，‘He is a veryremarkable person.’Further questions elicited from him that Mr.Kurtz was at present in charge of a trading-post, a very important one, in the true ivory-country, at‘the very bottom of there.Sends in as much ivory as all the others put together……’He began to write again.The sick man was too ill to groan.The fies buzzed in a great peace.
一天他低著頭說(shuō)：‘在內(nèi)地，您肯定會(huì)見到庫(kù)爾茨先生。’我問庫(kù)爾茨先生是何方神圣，他說(shuō)是個(gè)頭等的代理人。看見我對(duì)這個(gè)信息流露出失望之情，他擱下筆，繼續(xù)慢慢地說(shuō)：‘他可是個(gè)相當(dāng)了不起的人。’我追問下去，他說(shuō)庫(kù)爾茨先生現(xiàn)在負(fù)責(zé)一個(gè)貿(mào)易站，那個(gè)貿(mào)易站可重要了，在真正的象牙之鄉(xiāng)，在‘那里的最深處。他送來(lái)的象牙跟其他人加起來(lái)的一樣多……’他又提筆工作。病人虛弱得已經(jīng)無(wú)力呻吟了。在一片巨大的寧?kù)o中，只有蒼蠅在嗡嗡叫個(gè)不停。

Suddenly there was a growing murmur of voices and a great tramping of feet. A caravan had come in.A violent babble of uncouth sounds burst out on the other side of the planks.All the carriers were speaking together, and in the midst of the uproar the lamentable voice of the chief agent was heard‘giving it up’tearfully for the twentieth time that day……He rose slowly.‘What a frightful row，’he said.He crossed the room gently to look at the sick man, and returning, said to me，‘He does not hear.’‘What！Dead?’I asked, startled.‘No, not yet，’he answered, with great composure.Then, alluding with a toss of the head to the tumult in the station-yard，‘When one has got to make correct entries, one comes to hate these savages-hate them to the death！’He remained thoughtful for a moment.‘When you see Mr.Kurtz，’he went on，‘tell him from me that everything here’—he glanced at the desk—‘is very satisfactory.I don’t like to write to him-with those messengers of ours you never know who may get hold of your letter-at that Central Station.‘He stared at me for a moment with his mild, bulging eyes.’Oh, he will go far, very far，‘he began again.’He will be a somebody in the Administration before long.They, above-the Council in Europe, you know-mean him to be.
突然傳來(lái)一陣越來(lái)越大的說(shuō)話聲和沉重有力的腳步聲。一個(gè)商隊(duì)進(jìn)站了。木板的另一邊爆發(fā)出一陣粗野狂烈的聲音，吵吵嚷嚷地不知道在說(shuō)什么。所有搬運(yùn)工都在說(shuō)話，在一片吵鬧之中，我們聽見站長(zhǎng)用悲痛的聲音在說(shuō)：‘我們盡力了。’那句話他那天帶著哭腔說(shuō)了有二十遍……會(huì)計(jì)主任慢慢起身。‘真是吵死人了。’他說(shuō)。他輕輕地走到屋子另一邊去看看病人，又折回來(lái)，對(duì)我說(shuō)：‘他什么都聽不見。’‘你說(shuō)什么！他死了嗎？’我問，真是嚇壞了。‘不，還沒有死。’他不動(dòng)聲色地說(shuō)。然后，他朝外間的喧鬧聲甩甩頭，暗示道：‘當(dāng)你不得不把賬記清楚的時(shí)候，實(shí)在是無(wú)法不討厭這些野蠻人——真是煩死他們了！’他思索了一會(huì)兒，‘您看見庫(kù)爾茨先生的時(shí)候，’他接著說(shuō)，‘請(qǐng)告訴他這里的每一件東西’——他斜了桌子一眼——‘都非常令人滿意。我不喜歡給他寫信——我們的信使都靠不住，天知道他們會(huì)把信送到誰(shuí)手里——在那個(gè)中央貿(mào)易站。’他用那雙溫和而突出的眼睛盯著我看了一會(huì)兒，‘哦，他前途無(wú)限，無(wú)可限量，’他又說(shuō)，‘不久就會(huì)變成管理部門的要人。他們，那些高層——歐洲的董事會(huì)——很賞識(shí)他。’

He turned to his work. The noise outside had ceased, and presently in going out I stopped at the door.In the steady buzz of flies the homeward-bound agent was lying flushed and insensible；the other, bent over his books, was making correct entries of perfectly correct transactions；and ffty feet below the doorstep I could see the still tree-tops of the grove of death.
他繼續(xù)埋頭工作。外面終于安靜了。過了一會(huì)兒，我要出去，走到門口又停住了。蒼蠅還在不知疲倦地嗡嗡叫著，將要被運(yùn)送回國(guó)的代理人躺在那里，臉漲得通紅，已然沒有了意識(shí)。屋子里另一個(gè)人正趴在賬簿上，清清楚楚地記著賬，毫無(wú)差錯(cuò)。門階下方五十英尺的地方，我看得見那片死亡之林寂靜不動(dòng)的樹梢。

Next day I left that station at last, with a caravan of sixty men, for a two-hundred-mile tramp.
第二天，我終于跟一個(gè)六十個(gè)人的商隊(duì)離開了那個(gè)貿(mào)易站，開始了一段兩百英里長(zhǎng)的徒步旅程。

No use telling you much about that. Paths, paths, everywhere；a stamped-in network of paths spreading over an empty land, through long grass, through burnt grass, through thickets, down and up chilly ravines, up and down stony hills ablaze with heat；and a solitude, a solitude, nobody, not a hut.The population had cleared out a long time ago.Well, if a lot of mysterious niggers armed with all kinds of fearful weapons suddenly took to traveling on the road between Deal and Gravesend, catching the yokels right and left to carry heavy loads for them, I fancy every farm and cottage thereabouts would get empty very soon.Only here the dwellings were gone too.Still I passed through several abandoned villages.There‘s something pathetically childish in the ruins of grass walls.Day after day, with the stamp and shuffe of sixty pair of bare feet behind me, each pair under a sixty-pound.load.Camp, cook, sleep, strike camp, march.Now and then a carrier dead in harness, at rest in the long grass near the path, with an empty water-gourd and his long staff lying by his side.A great silence around and above.Perhaps on some quiet night the tremor of far-off drums, sinking, swelling, a tremor vast, faint；a sound weird, appealing, suggestive, and wild-and perhaps with as profound a meaning as the sound of bells in a Christian country.Once a white man in an unbuttoned uniform, camping on the path with an armed escort of lank Zanzibaris, very hospitable and festive-not to say drunk.Was looking after the upkeep of the road, he declared.Can’t say I saw any road or any upkeep, unless the body of a middle-aged negro, with a bullet-hole in the forehead, upon which I absolutely stumbled three miles further on, may be considered as a permanent improvement.I had a white companion too, not a bad chap, but rather too feshy and with the exasperating habit of fainting on the hot hillsides, miles away from the least bit of shade andwater.Annoying, you know, to hold your own coat like a parasol over a man‘s head while he is coming-to.I couldn’t help asking him once what he meant by coming there at all.‘To make money, of course.What do you think?’he said, scornfully.Then he got fever, and had to be carried in a hammock slung under a pole.As he weighed sixteen stone I had no end of rows with the carriers.They jibbed, ran away, sneaked off with their loads in the night-quite a mutiny.So, one evening, I made a speech in English with gestures, not one of which was lost to the sixty pairs of eyes before me, and the next morning I started the hammock off in front all right.An hour afterwards I came upon the whole concern wrecked in a bush-man, hammock, groans, blankets, horrors.The heavy pole had skinned his poor nose.He was very anxious for me to kill somebody, but there wasn‘t the shadow of a carrier near.I remembered the old doctor，—’It would be interesting for science to watch the mental changes of individuals, on the spot.‘I felt I was becoming scientifcally interesting.However, all that is to no purpose.On the ffteenth day I came in sight of the big river again, and hobbled into the Central Station.It was on a back water surrounded by scrub and forest, with a pretty border of smelly mud on one side, and on the three others enclosed by a crazy fence of rushes.A neglected gap was all the gate it had, and the frst glance at the place was enough to let you see the flabby devil was running that show.White men with long staves in their hands appeared languidly from amongst the buildings, strolling up to take a look at me, and then retired out of sight somewhere.One of them, a stout, excitable chap with black mustaches, informed me with great volubility and many digressions, as soon as I told him who I was, that my steamer was at the bottom of the river.I was thunderstruck.What, how, why?Oh, it was’all right.‘The’manager himself‘was there.All quite correct.’Everybody had behaved splendidly！splendidly！‘—’you must，‘he said in agitation，’go and see the general manager at once.He iswaiting！
那段旅程沒什么好說(shuō)的。反正到處都是小路。人們踩出來(lái)一張路網(wǎng)，網(wǎng)住那片空蕩蕩的土地，穿過長(zhǎng)長(zhǎng)的草地，穿過被火燒過的草地，穿過灌木叢，穿越寒冷的峽谷，翻越閃著火光的石山?；臎鲇只臎?，一個(gè)人也沒有，一間茅屋也沒有。居民很久之前就跑光了。試想想，如果有很多神秘的黑人，武裝著各種可怕的武器，突然開始流竄在迪爾和格雷夫森德之間的大路上，把住在路兩旁的英國(guó)佬都抓去做搬運(yùn)工，那一帶所有農(nóng)場(chǎng)和村莊肯定也會(huì)很快荒廢掉。只是這里連房子都不見了。但我沿途也見到好幾個(gè)被遺棄的村莊。那些殘破不堪的草墻像一種可悲的兒戲。六十雙光腳的踏步聲和劃地聲日復(fù)一日地跟在我身后，每一雙腳上面都有六十磅的重物。扎營(yíng)，做飯，睡覺，拔營(yíng)，跋涉。不時(shí)一個(gè)搬運(yùn)工背著重物倒下，長(zhǎng)眠在路邊高高的草叢中，一個(gè)空的水葫蘆和一根長(zhǎng)棍子會(huì)陪在他身邊。四周和上空是一片逃不出的死寂。也許在某個(gè)安靜的夜晚，能聽見遙遠(yuǎn)的鼓聲，戰(zhàn)栗著，沉下去，又響起來(lái)，茫?；囊袄锏膾暝?，軟弱無(wú)力的。這個(gè)怪異的聲音，魅惑的，暗示的，野性的——說(shuō)不定和基督教國(guó)家的鐘聲一樣意味深遠(yuǎn)。有一次我們看見一個(gè)白人，制服的紐扣都開了，帶著一個(gè)高高瘦瘦的桑格巴爾人——他的武裝護(hù)衛(wèi)——在路邊扎營(yíng)，他友善而快活——肯定是喝醉了。他聲稱自己在檢查這條馬路的養(yǎng)護(hù)工作。哪里有什么馬路需要養(yǎng)護(hù)！他們也什么都沒干。倒是前頭三英里處有一具中年黑人的尸體，額頭被子彈打出一個(gè)洞，確實(shí)是把我絆了一跤，可能他把這叫作一個(gè)永恒的改善。我還有一個(gè)白人同伴，人倒不壞，但有點(diǎn)兒胖過頭了，有一個(gè)不斷加劇的毛病：一爬上炎熱的山坡就要暈過去，而最近的一點(diǎn)樹蔭和水源還在好幾英里之外。真可惡，我們不得不把外套撐起來(lái)給他當(dāng)遮陽(yáng)傘，遮住他的頭，等他慢慢蘇醒。有一次我忍不住問他到底為什么要跑這兒來(lái)。‘當(dāng)然是為了掙錢。不然呢？’他不屑地說(shuō)。后來(lái)他發(fā)起燒來(lái)，我們只好把他放進(jìn)吊床，掛在木桿上抬著他走。為此搬運(yùn)工跟我吵了不知道有多少次，因?yàn)樗阕阒厥⑹Ｋ麄兿麡O怠工，逃跑，夜里帶著行囊偷偷溜走——簡(jiǎn)直是造反。所以，一個(gè)晚上，我比手畫腳地用英語(yǔ)發(fā)表了演講，我面前那六十雙雪亮的眼睛都明白了我的意思，第二天早晨他們就在我面前乖乖抬著吊床出發(fā)了。但一個(gè)小時(shí)后，我在灌木叢里發(fā)現(xiàn)了整個(gè)這一切的殘骸——那家伙，吊床，呻吟聲，毯子，恐懼。沉重的木桿擦破了他的鼻子，真可憐。他非常急切地要求我殺死某個(gè)人，但附近連一個(gè)搬運(yùn)工的影子都沒有。我記起那個(gè)老醫(yī)生說(shuō)的話——‘當(dāng)場(chǎng)密切關(guān)注個(gè)人精神狀態(tài)的變化是很有意義的’——我感到我要開始對(duì)科學(xué)的發(fā)展產(chǎn)生意義了。然而我并不覺得那有什么用。在第十五天，我又看見了那條大河，便一瘸一拐地走進(jìn)了中央貿(mào)易站。它坐落在河灣上，藏在灌木叢和森林之中，一面是用臭泥巴做成的邊界，破破爛爛的，另外三面被瘋長(zhǎng)的燈芯草籬笆團(tuán)團(tuán)圍住，一個(gè)沒人修整的缺口就是它唯一的門口。一看就知道這里的主管是個(gè)窩囊廢。幾個(gè)手里拿著長(zhǎng)棍的白人從房子之間懶洋洋地走出來(lái)，不緊不慢地晃上來(lái)看了我一眼，又走開不見了。其中有一個(gè)蓄著黑胡子的胖子，很是大驚小怪，我一告訴他我是誰(shuí)，他就滔滔不絕、東拉西扯地告訴我，我的汽船沉到河底去了。我仿佛遭到五雷轟頂。什么，怎么回事，為什么？哦，‘沒關(guān)系。’‘經(jīng)理本人’就在船上。一切如常。‘每個(gè)人的表現(xiàn)都值得表?yè)P(yáng)！值得表?yè)P(yáng)！’——‘您務(wù)必，’他顫抖著說(shuō)，‘馬上去見經(jīng)理。他在等您！’

I did not see the real signifcance of that wreck at once. I fancy I see it now, but I am not sure-not at all.Certainly the affair was too stupid-when I think of it-to be altogether natural.Still……But at the moment it presented itself simply as a confounded nuisance.The steamer was sunk.They had started two days before in a sudden hurry up the river with the manager on board, in charge of some volunteer skippe, and before they had been out three hours they tore the bottom out of her on stones, and she sank near the south bank.I asked myself what I was to do there, now my boat was lost.As a matter of fact, I had plenty to do in fishing my command out of the river.I had to set about it the very next day.That, and the repairs when I brought the pieces to the station, took some months.
我一時(shí)還不明白船沉了意味著什么。我想我現(xiàn)在明白了，但不敢確定——一點(diǎn)兒也不。這件事情擺明就是太愚蠢了——每當(dāng)我想起它——簡(jiǎn)直就蠢得出奇。但……但在那一刻，我就覺得它不過是一件惱人的麻煩事而已。船沉了。他們兩天前急急忙忙駕船開往上游，經(jīng)理也在船上，負(fù)責(zé)開船的船長(zhǎng)是個(gè)志愿者。開出去不到三個(gè)小時(shí)，船底就被石頭劃開了，船在南岸附近沉沒了。我不禁問自己：船都沒了，我來(lái)這還能做什么？事實(shí)上，我要做很多事，以便把歸我指揮的那條船撈上來(lái)。我必須第二天就出發(fā)去開工。把沉船撈上來(lái)，運(yùn)回貿(mào)易站修理，要花好幾個(gè)月的時(shí)間。

My first interview with the manager was curious. He did not ask me to sit down after my twenty-mile walk that morning.He was commonplace in complexion, in features, in manners, and in voice.He was of middle size and of ordinary build.His eyes, of the usual blue, were perhaps remarkably cold, and he certainly could make his glance fall on one as trenchant and heavy as an axe.But even at these times the rest of his person seemed to disclaim the intention.Otherwise there was only an indefnable, faint expression of his lips, something stealthy-a smile-not a smile-I remember it, but I can‘t explain.It was unconscious, this smile was, though just after he had said something it got intensifed for an instant.It came at the end of his speeches like a seal applied on the words to make the meaning of the commonest phrase appear absolutely inscrutable.He was a common trader, from his youth up employed in these parts-nothing more.He was obeyed, yet he inspired neither love nor fear, nor even respect.He inspired uneasiness.That was it！Uneasiness.Not a defnite mistrust-just uneasiness-nothing more.You have no idea how effective such a……a……faculty can be.He had no geniusfor organising, for initiative, or for order even.That was evident in such things as the deplorable state of the station.He had no learning, and no intelligence.His position had come to him-why?Perhaps because he was never ill……He had served three terms of three years out there……Because triumphant health in the general rout of constitutions is a kind of power in itself.When he went home on leave he rioted on a large scale-pompously.Jack ashore-with a difference-in externals only.This one could gather from his casual talk.He originated nothing, he could keep the routine going-that’s all.But he was great.He was great by this little thing that it was impossible to tell what could control such a man.He never gave that secret away.Perhaps there was nothing within him.Such a suspicion made one pause-for out there there were no external checks.Once when various tropical diseases had laid low almost every‘agent’in the station, he was heard to say，‘Men who come out here should have no entrails.’He sealed the utterance with that smile of his, as though it had been a door opening into a darkness he had in his keeping.You fancied you had seen things-but the seal was on.When annoyed at meal-times by the constant quarrels of the white men about precedence, he ordered an immense round table to be made, for which a special house had to be built.This was the station‘s mess-room.Where he sat was the frst place-the rest were nowhere.One felt this to be his unalterable conviction.He was neither civil nor uncivil.He was quiet.He allowed his’boy-an overfed young negro from the coast-to treat the white men, under his very eyes, with provoking insolence.
我和經(jīng)理的第一次會(huì)面相當(dāng)奇怪。當(dāng)天早上，我走了二十英里的路才見到他，他卻沒有請(qǐng)我坐。他的表情、五官、儀態(tài)和聲音都平淡無(wú)奇。他不高不矮，不胖不瘦。他那雙藍(lán)眼睛的顏色很普通，眼神卻冷漠得過分，他盯著人看的時(shí)候，無(wú)疑能把這眼神變得跟沉重的利斧一樣劈向人。但即使是在這些時(shí)候，他身體的其余部分卻依然平淡如常。此外就只剩下他嘴唇上那種難以捉摸的表情，微乎其微，總有點(diǎn)鬼鬼祟祟，似笑非笑的，我到現(xiàn)在還記得清清楚楚，但解釋不了。它不是故意的，這種微笑，盡管他每說(shuō)完一次話，它又變明顯一些。他一閉嘴，它就出現(xiàn)，就像拿封印把話封住一樣，哪怕只是最平常的話，也弄得絕對(duì)不可理解似的。他是個(gè)普通的商人，從年輕時(shí)起就受聘在這些地區(qū)工作——從來(lái)沒干過別的。大家都聽他指揮，然而他沒有令別人愛上他或是害怕他，大家對(duì)他甚至連尊敬都談不上。他只能令人感到渾身不自在。就是這話！渾身不自在。也不是明確的不信任——只是渾身不自在——僅此而已。你們不知道這樣一幫……一幫……職員的效率有多么低下。他沒有組織能力、創(chuàng)新能力，甚至連好好發(fā)號(hào)施令都不會(huì)。他把這個(gè)可憐的貿(mào)易站搞得烏煙瘴氣，就是最好的證明。他沒有學(xué)問，智力低下。他居然被提拔為經(jīng)理——怎么會(huì)這樣？大概就是因?yàn)樗麖膩?lái)不生病……他在那里熬過了三個(gè)三年的聘期……在人人都生病的地方，強(qiáng)健的體魄本身就是一種力量。他每次休假回家都會(huì)去大肆尋歡作樂一番。跟上了岸的水手似的——當(dāng)然他不一樣——只不過他的外表光鮮一些。這一點(diǎn)從他不經(jīng)意的閑談中也聽得出來(lái)。他墨守成規(guī)，但能夠保持日常工作的正常運(yùn)轉(zhuǎn)——他只有這點(diǎn)本事。但他是個(gè)了不起的人物。沒人知道有什么可以控制得了這樣一個(gè)人，光這一點(diǎn)就足以令他了不起。他從來(lái)不泄露個(gè)中秘密。也許他身體里空無(wú)一物。但這種懷疑永遠(yuǎn)無(wú)法證實(shí)——在那個(gè)地方?jīng)]法做外科檢查。有一次，多種熱帶疾病突然暴發(fā)，站里幾乎所有‘代理人’都病倒了，卻有人聽到他說(shuō)：‘出來(lái)這里的人就不應(yīng)該有內(nèi)臟。’他又用那種奇怪的笑容封印住這句話，仿佛那是一扇開往黑暗世界的大門，而他恰好是看門人。仿佛看到點(diǎn)兒什么——但門馬上就關(guān)上了。那些白人吃飯的時(shí)候老是為了誰(shuí)坐上座吵個(gè)不停，把他吵煩了，他就命令人做了一張巨大的圓桌，做好了沒地方擺得下，就又另外蓋了一間屋子。貿(mào)易站的食堂就是這么來(lái)的。他坐的地方就是首席——剩下的，坐哪里都一樣。人們覺得他就是懷有這種信念，堅(jiān)定不移的。他既不文雅也不粗野。他很安靜。他允許他的‘跟班’——一個(gè)來(lái)自海岸地區(qū)的青年黑人，被養(yǎng)得肥頭大耳的——就在他眼皮底下對(duì)那些白人粗暴無(wú)禮、興風(fēng)作浪。

He began to speak as soon as he saw me. I had been very long on the road.He could not wait.Had to start without me.The up-river stations had to be relieved.There had been so many delays already that he did not know who was dead and who was alive, and how they got on-and so on, and so on.He paid no attention to my explanations, and, playing with astick of sealing-wax, repeated several times that the situation was‘very grave, very grave.’There were rumours that a very important station was in jeopardy, and its chief, Mr.Kurtz, was ill.Hoped it was not true.Mr.Kurtz was……I felt weary and irritable.Hang Kurtz, I thought.I interrupted him by saying I had heard of Mr.Kurtz on the coast.‘Ah！So they talk of him down there，’he murmured to himself.Then he began again, assuring me Mr.Kurtz was the best agent he had, an exceptional man, of the greatest importance to the Company；therefore I could understand his anxiety.He was, he said，‘very, very uneasy.’Certainly he fdgeted on his chair a good deal, exclaimed，‘Ah, Mr.Kurtz！’broke the stick of sealing-wax and seemed dumbfounded by the accident.Next thing he wanted to know‘how long it would take to—’I interrupted him again.Being hungry, you know, and kept on my feet too, I was getting savage.‘How could I tell?’I said.‘I hadn’t even seen the wreck yet-some months, no doubt.‘All this talk seemed to me so futile.’Some months，‘he said.’Well, let us say three months before we can make a start.Yes.That ought to do the affair.‘I fung out of his hut（he lived all alone in a clay hut with a sort of verandah）muttering to myself my opinion of him.He was a chattering idiot.Afterwards I took it back when it was borne upon me startlingly with what extreme nicety he had estimated the time requisite for the’affair.
他一見到我就說(shuō)個(gè)不停。我走得太慢了。他等不起，只好先開船。上游的貿(mào)易站急需物資供應(yīng)。已經(jīng)耽擱得太久，他都不知道哪個(gè)死了，哪個(gè)還活著，他們情況如何——等等，等等。他完全不聽我解釋，擺弄著一根封口蠟棒，重復(fù)了好幾次說(shuō)形勢(shì)‘非常嚴(yán)峻，非常嚴(yán)峻’。有流言說(shuō)一個(gè)非常重要的貿(mào)易站情況危急，站長(zhǎng)庫(kù)爾茨先生也病倒了。希望不是真的。庫(kù)爾茨先生是……我累壞了，煩躁得要命。讓庫(kù)爾茨去死吧，我想。我打斷他說(shuō)我在岸上對(duì)庫(kù)爾茨先生有所聽聞。‘?。∷麄?cè)谙掠蔚貐^(qū)也談?wù)撍　?rsquo;他嘟嘟囔囔地自言自語(yǔ)。然后他又開始說(shuō)個(gè)沒完，向我保證庫(kù)爾茨先生是他手底下最好的代理人，非凡卓絕，公司決不能沒有他，這樣我應(yīng)該理解他為什么這么焦慮了吧。他說(shuō)自己真是‘非常，非常擔(dān)憂’。確實(shí)，他在椅子上不停地扭來(lái)扭去，大聲喊道：‘啊，庫(kù)爾茨先生！’把封口蠟棒都掰斷了，卻又被這個(gè)意外事件嚇住了。接下來(lái)他想知道‘需要花多長(zhǎng)時(shí)間去’……我又打斷他。我快餓死了，又站了那么久，喪失了耐性。‘你問我，我問誰(shuí)去？’我說(shuō)，‘我還沒見到那條沉船呢——好幾個(gè)月吧，短不了。’這場(chǎng)對(duì)話對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)真是浪費(fèi)時(shí)間。‘好幾個(gè)月，’他說(shuō)，‘好吧，那我們?nèi)齻€(gè)月后就可以出發(fā)了。好。這件工作三個(gè)月足夠了。’我氣呼呼地從他的小屋出來(lái)（他自己住一間小泥屋，屋外還帶一條簡(jiǎn)陋的走廊），一邊自己向自己咕噥著對(duì)他的看法。他是個(gè)嘮嘮叨叨的傻瓜。日后我收回了這句話，因?yàn)樗麑?duì)這件‘工作’需要的時(shí)間估計(jì)得一絲不差，真是驚人。

I went to work the next day, turning, so to speak, my back on that station. In that way only it seemed to me I could keep my hold on the redeeming facts of life.Still, one must look about sometimes；and then I saw this station, these men strolling aimlessly about in the sunshine of the yard.I asked myself sometimes what it all meant.They wandered here and there with their absurd long staves in their hands, like a lot of faithless pilgrims bewitched inside a rotten fence.The word‘ivory’rang in the air, was whispered, was sighed.You would think they were praying to it.A taint of imbecile rapacity blew through it all, like a whiff fromsome corpse.By Jove！Ive never seen anything so unreal in my life.And outside, the silent wilderness surrounding this cleared speck on the earth struck me as something great and invincible, like evil or truth, waiting patiently for the passing away of this fantastic invasion.
第二天我就開工了?？梢哉f(shuō)我把貿(mào)易站拋諸腦后。我覺得只有那樣我才能緊緊抓住實(shí)實(shí)在在的生活，彌補(bǔ)這一段時(shí)間的空虛感。然而，人總是會(huì)開小差東張西望的。然后我看見了那個(gè)貿(mào)易站，那些男人在院子里的陽(yáng)光底下漫無(wú)目的地逛來(lái)逛去。有時(shí)我問自己，他們這是在干什么。他們拿著滑稽的長(zhǎng)棍子，魂不守舍地走來(lái)走去，就像很多變了節(jié)的朝圣者，被鬼勾了魂，在那個(gè)破籬笆里來(lái)回打轉(zhuǎn)。‘象牙’這個(gè)詞在空氣中回蕩，他們低聲念叨著它，嘆息里也全是它，真的像在向它祈禱似的。到處隱隱彌漫著一絲愚蠢而貪婪的氣味，就像尸體發(fā)出的臭味。天??！我從未見過如此不真實(shí)的景象。貿(mào)易站外，那片寂靜無(wú)聲的荒野緊緊包圍著這一小塊開拓出來(lái)的地方，在我看來(lái)是那么偉大而不容對(duì)抗，就像邪惡或真理一樣。它不急不躁地，等待這一次瘋狂的侵略自行結(jié)束。

Oh, these months！Well, never mind. Various things happened.One evening a grass shed full of calico, cotton prints, beads, and I don‘t know what else, burst into a blaze so suddenly that you would have thought the earth had opened to let an avenging fre consume all that trash.I was smoking my pipe quietly by my dismantled steamer, and saw them all cutting capers in the light, with their arms lifted high, when the stout man with moustaches came tearing down to the river, a tin pail in his hand, assured me that everybody was’behaving splendidly, splendidly，dipped about a quart of water and tore back again.I noticed there was a hole in the bottom of his pail.
哦，那幾個(gè)月！好吧，別提了。后來(lái)又發(fā)生了很多事。一個(gè)晚上，一個(gè)裝滿白棉布、印花棉布、玻璃珠的草棚，不知道還有沒有放別的，突然著火，仿佛地球突然裂開，放出一團(tuán)復(fù)仇之火來(lái)，要把那些垃圾統(tǒng)統(tǒng)燒掉。我在那拆開了的汽船旁邊安靜地抽著煙斗，看見他們都在火光中跳來(lái)跳去，高舉雙臂，那個(gè)蓄著胡子的胖男人拿著水桶猛沖向河邊，一邊還不忘向我保證說(shuō)每個(gè)人都‘值得表?yè)P(yáng)，值得表?yè)P(yáng)！’打起一夸脫左右的水又猛沖回去。我注意到他的桶底有個(gè)窟窿。

I strolled up. There was no hurry.You see the thing had gone off like a box of matches.It had been hopeless from the very frst.The fame had leaped high, driven everybody back, lighted up everything-and collapsed.The shed was already a heap of embers glowing fiercely.A nigger was being beaten near by.They said he had caused the fre in some way；be that as it may, he was screeching most horribly.I saw him, later on, for several days, sitting in a bit of shade looking very sick and trying to recover himself：afterwards he arose and went out-and the wilderness without a sound took him into its bosom again.As I approached the glow from the dark I found myself at the back of two men, talking.I heard the name of Kurtz pronounced, then the words，‘take advantage of this unfortunate accident.’One of the men was the manager.I wished him a good evening.‘Did you ever see anything like it-eh?it is incredible，’he said, and walked off.The other man remained.He was a first-class agent, young, gentlemanly, a bit reserved, with a forked little beard and ahooked nose.He was stand-offsh with the other agents, and they on their side said he was the manager‘s spy upon them.As to me, I had hardly ever spoken to him before.We got into talk, and by and bye we strolled away from the hissing ruins.Then he asked me to his room, which was in the main building of the station.He struck a match, and I perceived that this young aristocrat had not only a silver-mounted dressing-case but also a whole candle all to himself.Just at that time the manager was the only man supposed to have any right to candles.Native mats covered the clay walls；a collection of spears, assegais, shields, knives was hung up in trophies.The business entrusted to this fellow was the making of bricks-so I had been informed；but there wasn’t a fragment of a brick anywhere in the station, and he had been there more than a year-waiting.It seems he could not make bricks without something, I dont know what-straw maybe.Anyways, it could not be found there, and as it was not likely to be sent from Europe, it did not appear clear to me what he was waiting for.An act of special creation perhaps.However, they were all waiting-all the sixteen or twenty pilgrims of them-for something；and upon my word it did not seem an uncongenial occupation, from the way they took it, though the only thing that ever came to them was disease-as far as I could see.They beguiled the time by backbiting and intriguing against each other in a foolish kind of way.There was an air of plotting about that station, but nothing came of it, of course.It was as unreal as everything else-as the philanthropic pretence of the whole concern, as their talk, as their government, as their show of work.The only real feeling was a desire to get appointed to a trading-post where ivory was to be had, so that they could earn percentages.They intrigued and slandered and hated each other only on that account-but as to effectually lifting a little fnger-oh, no.By heavens！there is something after all in the world allowing one man to steal a horse while another must not look at a halter.Steal a horsestraight out.Very well.He has done it.Perhaps he can ride.But there is a way of looking at a halter that would provoke the most charitable of saints into a kick.
我慢慢走上前去。急也沒用，那草棚像盒火柴一樣燒得一發(fā)不可收拾。從一開始就毫無(wú)希望?；鹧孳f得高高的，把所有人都擋了回去，照亮了一切——然后猛然熄滅了。草棚已經(jīng)被燒成一堆灼熱的灰燼。他們?cè)谝慌源蛞粋€(gè)黑人，據(jù)說(shuō)這次失火都怪他。就算真的是他，他叫得也太凄慘了些。過后我看見他連續(xù)幾天坐在一片小小的樹蔭下，奄奄一息的樣子，努力掙扎著想康復(fù)；后來(lái)他站起來(lái)走了——荒野無(wú)聲無(wú)息地把他吞了回去。我從黑暗走近那堆余燼的時(shí)候，發(fā)現(xiàn)前面有兩個(gè)人在聊天。我聽見他們提到庫(kù)爾茨的名字，又聽見什么‘利用這次不幸的事故’之類的話。其中一個(gè)是經(jīng)理，我向他道了夜安。‘你之前有碰到過這樣的事情嗎——??？真不敢相信。’他說(shuō)，然后走開了。另一個(gè)男人留在原地。他是一個(gè)頭等的代理人，年輕，彬彬有禮，略帶矜持，蓄著八字胡，長(zhǎng)著鷹鉤鼻。他刻意和其他代理人保持距離，他們私下里說(shuō)他是經(jīng)理派來(lái)監(jiān)視他們的密探。我呢，我之前沒怎么跟他說(shuō)過話。我們開始交談，慢慢從發(fā)著嘶嘶聲的廢墟前走開去。他請(qǐng)我去他位于貿(mào)易站主樓內(nèi)的房間。他劃亮一根火柴，我注意到這個(gè)年輕的貴族不僅有一個(gè)鑲銀的化妝盒，還能一個(gè)人用一整根蠟燭——那時(shí)就只有經(jīng)理有點(diǎn)蠟燭的權(quán)利。墻上覆著當(dāng)?shù)氐牟輭|，還掛著許多戰(zhàn)利品：長(zhǎng)矛、非洲梭槍、盾牌和刀子。這位先生負(fù)責(zé)制磚的業(yè)務(wù)——別人是這么跟我說(shuō)的，但站里連磚頭的碎塊都找不著，而他在那里都有一年多了——一直在等。似乎沒有某些材料就不能制磚，我不知道是什么——說(shuō)不定是麥稈。無(wú)論如何，那里是沒有麥稈的，也不太可能從歐洲運(yùn)來(lái)，所以我也弄不明白他到底在等什么。也許是某個(gè)奇跡吧。然而，他們?nèi)咳硕家恢痹诘?mdash;—那十六個(gè)還是二十個(gè)朝圣者。說(shuō)真的，從他們的工作態(tài)度來(lái)看，他們應(yīng)該并不覺得這份工作有多么糟糕，盡管他們唯一要做的事好像就只是生病——據(jù)我所知。他們通過愚蠢地相互中傷和醞釀謀害同伴的計(jì)劃來(lái)消磨時(shí)間。貿(mào)易站里總是疑云密布——當(dāng)然沒有哪個(gè)陰謀被付諸實(shí)踐。這片疑云就像站里其他的一切那樣不真實(shí)——與這個(gè)公司的慈善外衣、人們虛偽的談話、公司的管理制度和人們?cè)诠ぷ髦械谋憩F(xiàn)一樣。唯一真實(shí)的，是被委派到貿(mào)易站當(dāng)負(fù)責(zé)人的渴望。貿(mào)易站可能有象牙，他們可以通過買賣象牙獲得分成。他們相互仇恨，相互設(shè)計(jì)陷害，相互中傷，都只是由于這個(gè)緣故——但如果你要叫他們動(dòng)動(dòng)手指頭做點(diǎn)什么正經(jīng)事——別做夢(mèng)。天啊！世上畢竟有這么一樣?xùn)|西，允許一個(gè)人偷一匹馬，卻不許另一個(gè)人對(duì)韁繩產(chǎn)生非分之想。直接把馬偷走吧。很好。他照做了。說(shuō)不定他會(huì)騎馬呢！但有時(shí)如果有人望一眼韁繩，也會(huì)惹得最慈悲為懷的大圣人勃然大怒。

I had no idea why he wanted to be so sociable, but as we chatted in there it suddenly occurred to me the fellow was trying to get at something-in fact, pumping me. He alluded constantly to Europe, to the people I was supposed to know there-putting leading questions as to my acquaintances in the sepulchral city, and so on.His little eyes glittered like mica discs-with curiosity-though he tried to keep up a bit of superciliousness.At frst I was astonished, but very soon I became also awfully curious to see what he would fnd out from me.I couldnt possibly imagine what I had in me to make it worth his while.It was very pretty to see how he baffed himself, for in truth my body was full of chills, and my head had nothing in it but that wretched steamboat business.It was evident he took me for a perfectly shameless prevaricator.At last he got angry, and, to conceal a movement of furious annoyance, he yawned.I rose.Then I noticed a small sketch in oils, on a panel, representing a woman, draped and blindfolded, carrying a lighted torch.The background was sombre-almost black.The movement of the woman was stately, and the effect of the torchlight on the face was sinister.
我不知道他為什么要跟我說(shuō)那么多話，但談著談著，我突然想到這家伙心懷鬼胎——實(shí)際上，在套我的話。他反復(fù)拐彎抹角地提到歐洲，提到我可能在那里認(rèn)識(shí)的人——用問題引我說(shuō)話，引我說(shuō)起那個(gè)死城里的熟人之類的。他的小眼睛好像兩片閃閃發(fā)亮的云母片——充滿好奇——盡管他努力裝出一副愛理不理的樣子。剛開始我還挺驚訝的，但很快又感到很好奇，想看看他到底想打探什么消息。我完全想象不出自己藏了什么話，值得他花這么多心機(jī)去打探。看著他在費(fèi)盡心思地讓自己失望，真的很有趣。因?yàn)槠鋵?shí)我肚子里只有一股寒氣，我的腦子里也只有那條倒霉的汽船。很明顯，他把我當(dāng)成了恬不知恥的大騙子。最后他生氣了，為了遮掩一個(gè)怒火中燒的舉動(dòng)，他打了個(gè)呵欠。我站起身。然后我注意到在房門的嵌板上釘著一幅小小的油畫草圖，畫的是一個(gè)女人，披著布，蒙著眼，拿一個(gè)燃燒著的火把。背景一片灰暗——近乎漆黑。那女人的動(dòng)作莊嚴(yán)神圣，火把的光芒映在她的臉上，很是邪惡兇險(xiǎn)。

It arrested me, and he stood by, civilly holding an empty half-pint champagne bottle（medical comforts）with the candle stuck in it. To my question he said Mr.Kurtz had painted this-in this very station more than a year ago-while waiting for means to go to his trading-post.‘Tell me, pray，’said I，‘who is this Mr.Kurtz?’
我被那幅畫迷住了。他客客氣氣地站在一旁，手里托著一個(gè)空的半品脫香檳瓶（用于寧神靜氣），瓶口插著一根蠟燭。我向他問起這幅畫，他說(shuō)是庫(kù)爾茨先生畫的——在這個(gè)貿(mào)易站的時(shí)候，一年多之前——在等待合適的交通工具前往他的貿(mào)易站那會(huì)兒。‘告訴我，老兄，’我說(shuō)，‘庫(kù)爾茨先生是誰(shuí)？’

‘The chief of the Inner Station，’he answered in a short tone, looking away.‘Much obliged，’I said, laughing.‘And you are the brickmaker of the Central Station. Every one knows that.’He was silent for a while.‘He is a prodigy，’he said at last.‘He is an emissary of pity, and science, and progress, and devil knows what else.We want，’he began to declaim suddenly，‘for the guidance of the cause entrusted to us by Europe, so to speak, higher intelligence, wide sympathies, a singleness of purpose.’‘Who says that?’I asked.‘Lots of them，’he replied.‘Some even write that；and so he comes here, a special being, as you ought to know.’‘Why ought I to know?’I interrupted, really surprised.He paid no attention.‘Yes.To-day he is chief of the best station, next year he will be assistant-manager, two years more and……but I dare say you know what he will be in two years’time.You are of the new gang-the gang of virtue.The same people who sent him specially also recommended you.Oh, don‘t say no.I’ve my own eyes to trust.‘Light dawned upon me.My dear aunt’s infuential acquaintances were producing an unexpected effect upon that young man.I nearly burst into a laugh.‘Do you read the Company’s confidential correspondence?‘I asked.He hadn’t a word to say.It was great fun.‘When Mr.Kurtz，’I continued severely，‘is General Manager, you won’t have the opportunity.
‘內(nèi)地貿(mào)易站的站長(zhǎng)。’他簡(jiǎn)短地說(shuō)，別過臉去。‘受教了，’我笑著說(shuō)，‘而您是中央貿(mào)易站的制磚負(fù)責(zé)人。大家都知道。’他沉默了片刻。‘他是個(gè)天才，’他終于開口說(shuō)道，‘他是慈悲、科學(xué)和進(jìn)步的使者。鬼才知道他還是什么。我們想要的是，’他突然開始慷慨陳詞，‘為了使歐洲那邊委托給我們的事業(yè)能得到更好的指導(dǎo)，比方說(shuō)，更高明的才智、廣泛的同情心和團(tuán)結(jié)一致的目標(biāo)。’‘這是誰(shuí)說(shuō)的？’我問。‘他們很多人都這么說(shuō)，’他回答，‘還有人把這些話寫在文章里，于是他來(lái)了。他可是個(gè)特殊人物，這點(diǎn)您應(yīng)該也是知道的吧。’‘我憑什么知道？’我打斷他，驚訝極了。他沒理我。‘是的，現(xiàn)在他掌管著最好的貿(mào)易站，明年就會(huì)變成副經(jīng)理，再過兩年……但我確定您知道兩年后他會(huì)變成怎樣。您屬于新派——美德派。特意把他派來(lái)的人又推薦了您。哦，您別否認(rèn)。我相信自己的眼睛。’我現(xiàn)在明白了。我那親愛的姨媽果然有一些有權(quán)有勢(shì)的朋友，現(xiàn)在這些朋友開始對(duì)這個(gè)年輕人產(chǎn)生了意料之外的效果。我差點(diǎn)哈哈大笑起來(lái)。‘您也看公司的內(nèi)部通訊？’我問。他無(wú)話可說(shuō)。太好玩了。‘等庫(kù)爾茨先生，’我板起臉繼續(xù)說(shuō)道，‘當(dāng)了總經(jīng)理，您就沒戲了。’

He blew the candle out suddenly, and we went outside. The moon had risen.Black figures strolled about listlessly, pouring water on the glow, whence proceeded a sound of hissing；steam ascended in the moonlight, the beaten nigger groaned somewhere.‘What a row the brute makes！’said the indefatigable man with the moustaches, appearing near us.‘Serve him right.Transgression-punishment-bang！Pitiless, pitiless.That’s the only way.This will prevent all confagrations for the future.I was just telling the manager……‘He noticed my companion, and became crestfallen all at once.’Not in bed yet，‘he said, with a kind of servile heartiness；’it‘s so natural.Ha！Danger-agitation.’He vanished.I went on to the river-side, and the other followed me.I heard a scathing murmur at my ear，‘Heap of muffs-go to.’The pilgrims could be seen in knots gesticulating, discussing.Several had still their staves in theirhands.I verily believe they took these sticks to bed with them.Beyond the fence the forest stood up spectrally in the moonlight, and through the dim stir, through the faint sounds of that lamentable courtyard, the silence of the land went home to one‘s very heart-its mystery, its greatness, the amazing reality of its concealed life.The hurt nigger moaned feebly somewhere near by, and then fetched a deep sigh that made me mend my pace away from there.I felt a hand introducing itself under my arm.’My dear sir，‘said the fellow，’I don‘t want to be misunderstood, and especially by you, who will see Mr.Kurtz long before I can have that pleasure.I wouldn’t like him to get a false idea of my disposition……
他冷不丁地吹滅了蠟燭，我們一同走出屋子。月亮已經(jīng)升了起來(lái)。黑暗的人影無(wú)精打采地四處亂竄，把水潑在不斷嘶嘶作響的余燼上。月光下升起縷縷蒸汽，那個(gè)遭毒打的黑人在某個(gè)地方呻吟著。‘這畜生真會(huì)捅亂子！’那個(gè)精力旺盛的八字胡先生邊說(shuō)邊向我們走過來(lái)。‘打得好！犯法——懲罰——砰！不能心軟，不能心軟。只能這么辦。這才能防止日后再發(fā)生嚴(yán)重的火災(zāi)。我剛才還跟經(jīng)理說(shuō)……’他看清了我的同伴，馬上老實(shí)了，‘您還沒睡呢，’他說(shuō)，帶著一種奴顏媚骨的熱情，‘太正常了。哈！危險(xiǎn)——焦慮。’連忙溜走了。我繼續(xù)走向河邊，我的同伴跟隨著我。耳邊隱隱傳來(lái)一句刺耳的話：‘一群笨蛋——該死。’那些朝圣者們?nèi)宄扇壕墼谝黄穑治枳愕傅匕l(fā)表著議論，有幾個(gè)還拿著他們的棍子。我真的相信他們睡覺都拿著棍子。在籬笆的外面，月光下的森林仿佛一群猙獰的鬼怪，大地的寂靜穿透了昏暗中的騷動(dòng)，穿透了這個(gè)可悲的院子里發(fā)出的輕響，直達(dá)人的心底——它的不可知，它的浩蕩，它隱含的生命的驚人真相。受傷的黑人在我們身邊某處微弱地呻吟著，又深深地嘆了一口氣，我聽不下去，加快腳步走開去。我感到有一只手探到我的手臂底下。‘我親愛的先生，’那個(gè)家伙說(shuō)，‘我不想別人誤解我，尤其是您，因?yàn)槟芸炀蜁?huì)有幸見到庫(kù)爾茨先生，而我還要等很久。我不想讓他錯(cuò)誤地以為我另有所圖……’

“I let him run on, this papier-maché Mephistopheles, and it seemed to me that if I tried I could poke my forefinger through him, and find nothing inside but a little loose dirt, maybe.He, don‘t you see, had been planning to be assistant-manager by and bye under the present man, and I could see that the coming of that Kurtz had upset them both not a little.He talked precipitately, and I did not try to stop him.I had my shoulders against the wreck of my steamer, hauled up on the slope like a carcass of some big river animal.The smell of mud, of primeval mud, by Jove！was in my nostrils, the high stillness of primeval forests was before my eyes；there were shiny patches on the black creek.The moon had spread over everything a thin layer of silver-over the rank grass, over the mud, upon the wall of matted vegetation standing higher than the wall of a temple, over the great river I could see through a sombre gap glittering, glittering, as it fowed broadly by without a murmur.All this was great, expectant, mute, while the man jabbered about himself.I wondered whether the stillness on the face of the immensity looking at us two were meant as an appeal or as a menace.What were we who had strayed in here?Could we handle that dumb thing, or would it handle us?I felt how big, how confoundedly big, was that thing that couldn’ttalk, and perhaps was deaf as well.What was in there?I could see a little ivory coming out from there, and I had heard Mr.Kurtz was in there.I had heard enough about it too-God knows！Yet somehow it didn‘t bring any image with it-no more than if I had been told an angel or a fiend was in there.I believed it in the same way one of you might believe there are inhabitants in the planet Mars.I knew once a Scotch sailmaker who was certain, dead sure, there were people in Mars.If you asked him for some idea how they looked and behaved, he would get shy and mutter something about’walking on all-fours.‘If you as much as smiled, he would-though a man of sixty-offer to fght you.I would not have gone so far as to fght for Kurtz, but I went for him near enough to a lie.You know I hate, detest, and can’t bear a lie, not because I am straighter than the rest of us, but simply because it appals me.There is a taint of death, a flavour of mortality in lies-which is exactly what I hate and detest in the world-what I want to forget.It makes me miserable and sick, like biting something rotten would do.Temperament, I suppose.Well, I went near enough to it by letting the young fool there believe anything he liked to imagine as to my infuence in Europe.I became in an instant as much of a pretence as the rest of the bewitched pilgrims.This simply because I had a notion it somehow would be of help to that Kurtz whom at the time I did not see-you understand.He was just a word for me.I did not see the man in the name any more than you do.Do you see him?Do you see the story?Do you see anything?It seems to me I am trying to tell you a dream-making a vain attempt, because no relation of a dream can convey the dream-sensation, that commingling of absurdity, surprise, and bewilderment in a tremor of struggling revolt, that notion of being captured by the incredible which is of the very essence of dreams……”
“我任由這個(gè)紙糊的靡菲斯特滔滔不絕地講下去，仿佛如果我使點(diǎn)勁兒就能用食指戳穿他，并很可能發(fā)現(xiàn)里面除了幾點(diǎn)污垢之外什么都沒有。這下你們明白了吧？這家伙一心想著好好巴結(jié)當(dāng)時(shí)的經(jīng)理，好慢慢爬上副經(jīng)理的位置，但那個(gè)庫(kù)爾茨半路殺了出來(lái)，打亂了他們的如意算盤。他倉(cāng)促地說(shuō)個(gè)不停，我也沒想打斷他。我把肩膀倚在汽船的殘骸上。我們把它打撈上來(lái)，放在岸邊的斜坡上，好像它是一只大河怪的尸體。撲鼻的泥土味——遠(yuǎn)古時(shí)期的泥土，天?。「吒叩脑忌忠粍?dòng)不動(dòng)地立在眼前，黑色的小溪上泛起塊塊亮光。月亮把一層薄薄的銀紗覆在萬(wàn)物之上——在雜草上，在泥上，在比廟墻還要高的亂林上，在那條大河上——那條河是如此寬廣，靜靜流淌著，在一個(gè)幽暗的缺口之外閃爍生輝。一切都很美好，生機(jī)涌動(dòng)，安然無(wú)聲，而那個(gè)家伙竟一直在啰里啰唆地為自己解釋。我在想，這片廣袤無(wú)垠的荒野一臉沉靜地望著我們二人，似是有所請(qǐng)求，又像在發(fā)出威脅。迷途至此的我們到底是什么？我們能夠操控這個(gè)啞巴一樣的龐然巨物嗎？還是將臣服于它？這一個(gè)沒有嘴巴，說(shuō)不定連耳朵都沒有的巨物，是如此龐大，龐大得深不見底。那里面究竟藏了什么？我可以看到一點(diǎn)象牙從深處流出，聽說(shuō)庫(kù)爾茨先生就在那里。我實(shí)在聽夠庫(kù)爾茨這個(gè)名字了——上天做證！然而不知怎的他還沒有形成一個(gè)具體的形象——就好像我不過是聽見說(shuō)那里面有一個(gè)天使或者一個(gè)魔鬼。這種情況就像聽到有人說(shuō)火星上有居民一樣，信不信由你。我認(rèn)識(shí)一個(gè)蘇格蘭的修帆工，他拍胸脯保證說(shuō)火星上有人，但如果你問他火星人長(zhǎng)什么樣，言談舉止如何，他會(huì)馬上漲紅了臉，含含糊糊地說(shuō)什么‘用四條腿走路’。要是你敢笑，他就會(huì)——盡管都六十歲了——跟你打起來(lái)。我不會(huì)為了庫(kù)爾茨跟人打架，但卻是因?yàn)樗?，我差一點(diǎn)撒了謊。我是最恨別人撒謊的，太可惡了，我受不了。不是因?yàn)槲冶绕渌苏?，只是因?yàn)橹e言使我恐懼。謊言總帶著一絲死亡的陰影，說(shuō)得人滿嘴腐臭——這世上我最討厭和最憎恨的莫過于此——我真想把它徹底忘掉。它讓我痛苦、惡心，就像一口咬到腐爛的食物。我想這是一種天性。好吧，我放任那個(gè)年輕人天馬行空地幻想我在歐洲的影響力，也差不多是在撒謊了。剎那間我也學(xué)會(huì)了虛張聲勢(shì)，就跟那些深受蠱惑的朝圣者一樣。這僅僅是因?yàn)槲彝蝗划a(chǎn)生了一個(gè)想法，這么做可能對(duì)于當(dāng)時(shí)與我素未謀面的庫(kù)爾茨多少有點(diǎn)好處——你們能理解吧。那時(shí)他對(duì)我而言只是一個(gè)名字。你們看得見他嗎？你們看得見這個(gè)故事嗎？你們看得見任何東西嗎？我好像在對(duì)你們說(shuō)一個(gè)夢(mèng)——真是吃力不討好，因?yàn)閴?mèng)里的感受是無(wú)從通過語(yǔ)言傳遞的。掙扎著想反抗，渾身顫抖，鋪天蓋地的荒誕、驚奇和迷亂相互交織，總感覺要被一種超自然的力量抓住，這些感受才是夢(mèng)的本質(zhì)……”

He was silent for a while.
他沉默了片刻。

“……No, it is impossible；it is impossible to convey the life-sensationof any given epoch of ones existence-that which makes its truth, its meaning-its subtle and penetrating essence. It is impossible.We live, as we dream-alone……”
“……不，那不可能。人生中某一段時(shí)期的感受是無(wú)法轉(zhuǎn)述的，正是這種感受，構(gòu)成了人生的真相和意義——人生的本質(zhì)，微妙而貫穿始終。不可能的。人生如夢(mèng)——一樣的孤獨(dú)……”

He paused again as if refecting, then added—
他又停下來(lái)，好像在思考，然后接下去說(shuō)——

“Of course in this you fellows see more than I could then. You see me, whom you know……”
“當(dāng)然，對(duì)于當(dāng)時(shí)的情況，你們這些家伙比當(dāng)時(shí)的我要看得清楚一些。你們很了解我的為人……”

It had become so pitch dark that we listeners could hardly see one another. For a long time already he, sitting apart, had been no more to us than a voice.There was not a word from anybody.The others might have been asleep, but I was awake.I listened, I listened on the watch for the sentence, for the word, that would give me the clue to the faint uneasiness inspired by this narrative that seemed to shape itself without human lips in the heavy night-air of the river.
天已經(jīng)很暗了，我們這些聽眾幾乎看不見彼此。已經(jīng)有很長(zhǎng)的一段時(shí)間，獨(dú)自坐在一旁的他對(duì)我們而言只剩下一個(gè)聲音。其他人都悄無(wú)聲息，可能都已經(jīng)昏昏睡去，我卻還醒著。我還在聽，一直在聽，字字句句都留心著，尋求著蛛絲馬跡，以求解釋為什么這個(gè)故事引起了我隱約的不安。它似乎不是從雙唇流出的，而是在這條沉重的河流上空，那稠滯的夜色中自行上演。

“……Yes-I let him run on，”Marlow began again，and think what he pleased about the powers that were behind me. I did！And there was nothing behind me！There was nothing but that wretched, old, mangled steamboat I was leaning against, while he talked fluently about‘the necessity for every man to get on.’‘And when one comes out here, you conceive, it is not to gaze at the moon.’Mr.Kurtz was a‘universal genius，’but even a genius would find it easier to work with‘adequate tools-intelligent men.’He did not make bricks-why, there was a physical impossibility in the way-as I was well aware；and if he did secretarial work for the manager, it was because‘no sensible man rejects wantonly the confidence of his superiors.’Did I see it?I saw it.What more did I want?What I really wanted was rivets, by heaven！Rivets.To get on with the work-to stop the hole.Rivets I wanted.There were cases of them down at the coast-cases-piled up-burst-split！You kicked a loose rivet at every second step in that station yard on the hillside.Rivets had rolled into the grove of death.You could fll your pockets with rivetsfor the trouble of stooping down-and there wasnt one rivet to be found where it was wanted.We had plates that would do, but nothing to fasten them with.And every week the messenger, a lone negro, letter-bag on shoulder and staff in hand, left our station for the coast.And several times a week a coast caravan came in with trade goods-ghastly glazed calico that made you shudder only to look at it, glass beads value about a penny a quart, confounded spotted cotton handkerchiefs.And no rivets.Three carriers could have brought all that was wanted to set that steamboat afoat.
“……是的——我任他往下說(shuō)，”馬洛又開始了，隨他想象我有什么靠山。管他呢！但其實(shí)我什么靠山都沒有！除了身后那條又舊又可憐的破汽船。當(dāng)他夸夸其談著什么‘每一個(gè)人都必須努力升職’，‘人們不是，您也知道，來(lái)這兒看月亮的’。庫(kù)爾茨先生是一個(gè)‘無(wú)所不能的天才’，但就算是天才，和‘合適的工具——聰明的人’一起工作也會(huì)輕松得多。他并沒有制磚——為什么呢？因?yàn)橛胁豢煽沽?mdash;—我應(yīng)該很清楚才對(duì)。而說(shuō)到他為經(jīng)理做秘書做的工作，那是因?yàn)?lsquo;哪個(gè)理智的人會(huì)不知輕重地辜負(fù)上司的信任呢？’我明白了嗎？明白了。我還想怎樣？我想要鉚釘，天啊！鉚釘。我要繼續(xù)我的工作——我要把船底的洞補(bǔ)上。我要鉚釘。海岸那邊有成箱成箱的鉚釘——那么多箱——山一樣堆著——箱子都要撐破了——簡(jiǎn)直要爆炸！在山腰上那個(gè)貿(mào)易站的院子里，走一步就能踢飛一個(gè)鉚釘。鉚釘都滾到那片死亡之林里去了。只要你不嫌彎腰麻煩，就能用鉚釘裝滿口袋——而在需要鉚釘?shù)牡胤絽s一顆也找不到。我們有鋼板，但沒有東西固定它們。每周，那個(gè)形單影只的黑人信使都會(huì)扛起一個(gè)大郵袋，拿著一根棍子，從我們的貿(mào)易站出發(fā)去岸邊。而岸邊的大篷車每周幾次載來(lái)各色貿(mào)易商品——暗無(wú)光澤的印花布，看一眼嚇一跳，令人反感；一夸脫賣一便士左右的玻璃珠子；還有印著怪異圓點(diǎn)的棉手帕。沒有鉚釘。三個(gè)搬運(yùn)工就可以把我需要的鉚釘全部運(yùn)來(lái)，讓汽船再次浮起來(lái)。

He was becoming confidential now, but I fancy my unresponsive attitude must have exasperated him at last, for he judged it necessary to inform me he feared neither God nor devil, let alone any mere man. I said I could see that very well, but what I wanted was a certain quantity of rivets-and rivets were what really Mr.Kurtz wanted, if he had only known it.Now letters went to the coast every week……‘My dear sir，’he cried，‘I write from dictation.’I demanded rivets.There was a way-for an intelligent man.He changed his manner；became very cold, and suddenly began to talk about a hippopotamus；wondered whether sleeping on board the steamer（I stuck to my salvage night and day）I wasn‘t disturbed.There was an old hippo that had the bad habit of getting out on the bank and roaming at night over the station grounds.The pilgrims used to turn out in a body and empty every rife they could lay hands on at him.Some even had sat up o’nights for him.All this energy was wasted, though.‘That animal has a charmed life，’he said；‘but you can say this only of brutes in this country.No man-you apprehend me?—no man here bears a charmed life.’He stood there for a moment in the moonlight with his delicate hooked nose set a little askew, and his mica eyes glittering without a wink, then, with a curt Good night, he strode off.I could see he was disturbed and considerably puzzled, which made me feel more hopeful than I had been for days.It was a great comfortto turn from that chap to my infuential friend, the battered, twisted, ruined, tin-pot steamboat.I clambered on board.She rang under my feet like an empty Huntley&Palmers biscuit-tin kicked along a gutter；she was nothing so solid in make, and rather less pretty in shape, but I had expended enough hard work on her to make me love her.No influential friend would have served me better.She had given me a chance to come out a bit-to fnd out what I could do.No, I don‘t like work.I had rather laze about and think of all the fne things that can be done.I don’t like work-no man does-but I like what is in the work-the chance to fnd yourself.Your own reality-for yourself, not for others-what no other man can ever know.They can only see the mere show, and never can tell what it really means.
他對(duì)我的態(tài)度越來(lái)越親熱，但我猜我那漠不關(guān)心的態(tài)度肯定終于觸怒了他，因?yàn)樗麤Q定有必要讓我知道，他連上帝或魔鬼都不怕，更何況區(qū)區(qū)一個(gè)普通人。我說(shuō)我看得出來(lái)他是很勇敢的，但我想要的是一些鉚釘——如果庫(kù)爾茨先生知道這里的情況，他也會(huì)需要鉚釘?，F(xiàn)在每周都有人送信去岸邊……‘我親愛的先生，’他喊道，‘我的信完全是經(jīng)理口授的。’我要求把鉚釘送來(lái)。辦法總比困難多——對(duì)于一個(gè)聰明人來(lái)講。他的態(tài)度變得非常冷淡，突然間談起一只河馬的故事。他覺得很奇怪，為什么我能安心睡在船上（我一天到晚都守在船上）。有一只可惡的老河馬，喜歡晚上爬上岸，在貿(mào)易站一帶四處亂跑。那些朝圣者常常傾巢而出，把所有來(lái)復(fù)槍都找出來(lái)向它開火，直到彈藥耗盡。甚至有人通宵埋伏等待它?？墒撬麄兌及踪M(fèi)力氣。‘那畜生好像受到魔法的保護(hù)，’他說(shuō)，‘但在這里，只有畜生是受魔法保護(hù)的。人卻沒有——您理解我的意思嗎？——這里的魔法是不保護(hù)人的。’他在月光下站了一陣子，把他那優(yōu)美的鷹鉤鼻稍稍偏過去，他那雙云母片似的眼睛一直睜著，泛著光。然后，他匆匆說(shuō)了聲晚安，大步離去。我可以看出他動(dòng)搖了，也很困惑，這些天我一直很壓抑，現(xiàn)在終于看到了希望。甩掉那家伙后，我回到我那有權(quán)有勢(shì)的靠山身旁，那條破破爛爛的、歪歪扭扭的、潰不成形的、一文不值的汽船。我吃力地爬上甲板，腳下哐啷作響，就像一個(gè)空的亨帕餅干桶被人沿著下水道一路踢過去時(shí)發(fā)出的聲音。她造得不夠結(jié)實(shí)，外觀也不夠漂亮，但我在她身上付出了那么多艱辛的勞動(dòng)，我無(wú)法不愛她。沒哪個(gè)有權(quán)有勢(shì)的朋友比她更派得上用場(chǎng)。她給了我一個(gè)機(jī)會(huì)，讓我出去闖一闖——去發(fā)現(xiàn)我有什么能耐。不，我不喜歡工作。我情愿游手好閑，做做白日夢(mèng)。我不喜歡工作——沒人喜歡——但我喜歡藏在工作里的玄機(jī)——發(fā)現(xiàn)自我的機(jī)會(huì)。發(fā)現(xiàn)真實(shí)的自我——為自己，不為他人——其他人永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)知道。他們只能看見膚淺的表面，永遠(yuǎn)說(shuō)不清楚個(gè)中真諦。

I was not surprised to see somebody sitting aft, on the deck, with his legs dangling over the mud. You see I rather chummed with the few mechanics there were in that station, whom the other pilgrims naturally despised-on account of their imperfect manners, I suppose.This was the foreman-a boiler-maker by trade-a good worker.He was a lank, bony, yellow-faced man, with big intense eyes.His aspect was worried, and his head was as bald as the palm of my hand；but his hair in falling seemed to have stuck to his chin, and had prospered in the new locality, for his beard hung down to his waist.He was a widower with six young children（he had left them in charge of a sister of his to come out there），and the passion of his life was pigeon-fying.He was an enthusiast and a connoisseur.He would rave about pigeons.After work hours he used sometimes to come over from his hut for a talk about his children and his pigeons；at work, when he had to crawl in the mud under the bottom of the steamboat, he would tie up that beard of his in a kind of white serviette he brought for the purpose.It had loops to go over his ears.In the evening he could be seen squatted on the bank rinsing that wrapper in the creek with great care, then spreading it solemnly on a bush to dry.
我看見有人坐在船尾的甲板上，懸著兩條腿在爛泥上方。我并不感到驚訝。你們瞧，我和站里僅有的幾個(gè)技工稱兄道弟，而其他朝圣者自然是不把他們放在眼里的——我想是因?yàn)樗麄兣e止不夠得體。這一位是工頭——負(fù)責(zé)制造鍋爐的——非常稱職。他個(gè)子高高的，骨瘦如柴，臉色蠟黃，一雙大眼睛炯炯有神。他總是愁眉不展，頭頂像我的手心一樣禿，但他掉的頭發(fā)好像粘在了下巴上，在新的地方開枝散葉，因?yàn)樗暮右恢贝沟窖?。他是個(gè)鰥夫，有六個(gè)年幼的孩子（為了出來(lái)賺錢，他把孩子們留給一個(gè)親妹妹照顧），他最喜歡飛鴿，那給了他生活的熱情。他是飛鴿迷，也是行家，快要走火入魔了。下班后，他有時(shí)會(huì)從他的小屋走過來(lái)，和我聊他的孩子和鴿子。工作的時(shí)候，他不得不爬進(jìn)汽船下面，弄得滿身爛泥，他便用一塊類似餐巾的白布把胡子扎起來(lái)。他特意把這塊布帶在身邊，布的兩頭各有一個(gè)小環(huán)，可以套在耳朵上。晚上可以看到他蹲在岸邊，在小溪里仔仔細(xì)細(xì)地把它沖洗干凈，然后一本正經(jīng)地?cái)傇诠嗄緟采狭栏伞?/span>

I slapped him on the back and shouted，‘We shall have rivets！’He scrambled to his feet exclaiming，‘No！Rivets！’as though he couldn‘t believe his ears. Then in a low voice，’You……eh?‘I don’t know why we behaved like lunatics.I put my fnger to the side of my nose and nodded mysteriously.‘Good for you！’he cried, snapped his fingers above his head, lifting one foot.I tried a jig.We capered on the iron deck.A frightful clatter came out of that empty hulk, and the virgin forest on the other bank of the creek sent it back in a thundering roll upon the sleeping station.It must have made some of the pilgrims sit up in their hovels.A dark fgure obscured the lighted doorway of the manager‘s hut, vanished, then, a second or so after, the doorway itself vanished too.We stopped, and the silence driven away by the stamping of our feet fowed back again from the recesses of the land.The great wall of vegetation, an exuberant and entangled mass of trunks, branches, leaves, boughs, festoons, motionless in the moonlight, was like a rioting invasion of soundless life, a rolling wave of plants, piled up, crested, ready to topple over the creek, to sweep every little man of us out of his little existence.And it moved not.A deadened burst of mighty splashes and snorts reached us from afar, as though an ichthyosaurus had been taking a bath of glitter in the great river.’After all，‘said the boiler-maker in a reasonable tone，’why shouldn‘t we get the rivets?’Why not, indeed！I did not know of any reason why we shouldn‘t.’They‘ll come in three weeks，’I said, confdently.
我用力拍一下他的背部，大喊道：‘我們要有鉚釘了！’他手忙腳亂地爬起來(lái)，喊道：‘不會(huì)吧！鉚釘！’就像他不能相信自己的耳朵，又低聲說(shuō)，‘您不會(huì)……？’我不知道為什么我們倆好像得了精神病一樣。我把手指放在鼻子上，神秘地點(diǎn)點(diǎn)頭。‘恭喜你！’他大喊起來(lái)，在頭頂上打響指，蹺起一只腳。我拉他一起跳吉格舞。我們?cè)阼F做的甲板上歡呼雀躍。船身發(fā)出恐怖的哐啷聲，河對(duì)面的原始森林送來(lái)回聲，像滾滾天雷一樣，碾過沉睡的貿(mào)易站。它肯定把住在茅屋里的某些朝圣者嚇得坐了起來(lái)。經(jīng)理小屋的走廊亮著燈，一個(gè)黑影擋住光，又消失了，又過了一秒鐘左右，走廊也消失了。我們停下來(lái)，被我們的踏腳聲驅(qū)散了的寧?kù)o，又從大地深處洶涌回來(lái)。那堵草木巨墻，由無(wú)數(shù)樹干、樹枝、樹葉和藤蔓糾纏而成，盤根錯(cuò)節(jié)，在月光中寂靜不動(dòng)，仿佛無(wú)聲的生命發(fā)起了一場(chǎng)狂暴的侵略，一個(gè)植物的巨浪，翻得有天那么高，海嘯般沖壓下來(lái)，要橫掃我們這些渺小的人，擊碎我們渺小的存在。但它始終沒有動(dòng)。遠(yuǎn)方突然爆發(fā)出一陣滯悶的拍水聲和鼻息聲，我們聽得清清楚楚，仿佛有一條魚龍?jiān)谒骀覒颍破痍囮囥y光閃閃的浪花。‘說(shuō)到底，’鍋爐匠頭腦清楚地說(shuō)，‘怎么可能會(huì)不給我們鉚釘呢？’怎么可能，的確！我也想不出為什么會(huì)不給我們鉚釘。‘三周內(nèi)運(yùn)到。’我充滿信心地說(shuō)。

But they didnt. Instead of rivets there came an invasion, an infliction, a visitation.It came in sections during the next three weeks, each section headed by a donkey carrying a white man in new clothes and tan shoes, bowing from that elevation right and left to the impressed pilgrims.A quarrelsome band of footsore sulky niggers trod on the heels of the donkey；a lot of tents, camp-stools, tin boxes, white cases, brown bales would be shot down in the courtyard, and the air of mystery woulddeepen a little over the muddle of the station.Five such instalments came, with their absurd air of disorderly fight with the loot of innumerable outft shops and provision stores, that, one would think, they were lugging, after a raid, into the wilderness for equitable division.It was an inextricable mess of things decent in themselves but that human folly made look like the spoils of thieving.
但并沒有運(yùn)到。取而代之的是一場(chǎng)侵略、人禍和天災(zāi)。這一切在接下來(lái)的三周里陸續(xù)襲來(lái)。每一次都是由一個(gè)騎著驢的白人帶頭，他穿著新衣服和黃皮靴，在高高的驢背上左一下右一下地向朝圣者們點(diǎn)頭哈腰，讓他們深受感動(dòng)。一幫吵吵嚷嚷的黑人緊跟在驢子后面，他們走得腿酸腳疼，一臉陰沉，他們把一大堆帳篷、野營(yíng)凳、鐵皮箱、白箱子、棕色包裹扔在院子里，把貿(mào)易站弄得更加混亂，站上的神秘氣氛也加深了一層。這樣的商隊(duì)一共來(lái)了五個(gè)，他們神色慌張，仿佛剛剛搶完無(wú)數(shù)服裝店和糧食店，逃到這里來(lái)喘口氣。看見他們那可笑的神情，人們當(dāng)然會(huì)認(rèn)為他們是要跑到?jīng)]有人的荒野去安心分贓。因?yàn)樯唐诽喽χ猩鷣y，實(shí)屬正常，但這群蠢貨卻弄得這么鬼鬼祟祟，真不像樣。

This devoted band called itself the Eldorado Exploring Expedition, and I believe they were sworn to secrecy. Their talk, however, was the talk of sordid buccaneers：it was reckless without hardihood, greedy without audacity, and cruel without courage；there was not an atom of foresight or of serious intention in the whole batch of them, and they did not seem aware these things are wanted for the work of the world.To tear treasure out of the bowels of the land was their desire, with no more moral purpose at the back of it than there is in burglars breaking into a safe.Who paid the expenses of the noble enterprise I dont know；but the uncle of our manager was leader of that lot.
這幫愛崗敬業(yè)的人把自己稱作埃爾多拉多探險(xiǎn)隊(duì)，我相信他們宣過誓，不能對(duì)外泄露機(jī)密的。然而，他們一開口就是下流骯臟的海盜腔：莽撞卻軟弱，貪婪卻畏縮，殘暴卻膽小。他們這一大幫人都缺乏遠(yuǎn)大的目光和嚴(yán)肅的目標(biāo)，而他們又似乎并沒有意識(shí)到，要做出點(diǎn)成績(jī)，這兩者都是不可或缺的。他們一心只想著把財(cái)物從大地的腸子中掏出來(lái)，絲毫沒有道德上的目標(biāo)，跟強(qiáng)盜撬保險(xiǎn)箱的行為差不多。我不知道是誰(shuí)出錢資助了這一系列高尚的行動(dòng)，但我們經(jīng)理的叔父正好是這幫人的頭目。

In exterior he resembled a butcher in a poor neighbourhood, and his eyes had a look of sleepy cunning. He carried his fat paunch with ostentation on his short legs, and during the time his gang infested the station spoke to no one but his nephew.You could see these two roaming about all day long with their heads close together in an everlasting confab.
他的外表像貧民窟里的屠夫，眼里閃著一種昏昏欲睡的狡猾。他把大肚子架在一雙短腿上，好像感到很自豪似的。在他那幫人把貿(mào)易站搞得烏七八糟期間，他只跟自己的侄子說(shuō)話。叔侄兩人不避嫌疑地整天四處游蕩，兩個(gè)腦袋緊緊靠在一起，沒日沒夜地密談著。

“I had given up worrying myself about the rivets. One‘s capacity for that kind of folly is more limited than you would suppose.I said Hang！—and let things slide.I had plenty of time for meditation, and now and then I would give some thought to Kurtz.I wasn’t very interested in him.No.Still, I was curious to see whether this man, who had come out equipped with moral ideas of some sort, would climb to the top after all, and how he would set about his work when there.”
“我已經(jīng)把鉚釘?shù)氖虑閽侀_了。一個(gè)人對(duì)于那些蠢材的忍耐是有限度的。我說(shuō)：去死吧！——就撒手不管了。這樣一來(lái)，我獲得了充足的時(shí)間來(lái)思考，時(shí)不時(shí)地，我會(huì)想到庫(kù)爾茨。我也不是對(duì)他很感興趣。并沒有。但我很想知道，這個(gè)人懷揣著那些道德觀念來(lái)到這里，是不是能最終爬上經(jīng)理的位子，而他當(dāng)上了經(jīng)理之后，又會(huì)干出些什么事情來(lái)。”