雙語(yǔ)·《刀鋒》 第一章 七

CHAPTER ONE 7
第一章 七

I had been put up for the length of my stay at a club which possessed a good library, and next morning I went there to look at one or two of the university magazines that for the person who does not subscribe to them have always been rather hard to come by. It was early and there was only one other person there.He was seated in a big leather chair absorbed in a book.I was surprised to see it was Larry.He was the last person I should have expected to find in such a place.He looked up as I passed, recognized me and made as if to get up.
在芝加哥，為了消磨時(shí)光，我加入了一個(gè)俱樂部。俱樂部里有個(gè)挺不錯(cuò)的閱覽室。赴宴的次日上午，我到閱覽室想找一兩本大學(xué)?？纯础@種校刊一般只針對(duì)訂閱者，平時(shí)難得一見。時(shí)間還早，閱覽室里只有一個(gè)人，坐在大皮椅子上正出神地看書。我意外地發(fā)現(xiàn)那人竟是拉里。怎么也想不到會(huì)在這樣的地方跟他不期而遇。我走近時(shí)，他抬起頭來(lái)，認(rèn)出是我，像是要站起來(lái)問候。

“Don't move，”I said, and then almost automatically：“What are you reading?”
“坐著別動(dòng)?！蔽艺f(shuō)了一聲，隨后脫口問道，“你在看什么？”

“A book，”he said, with a smile, but a smile so engaging that the rebuff of his answer was in no way offensive.
“一本書。”他邊說(shuō)邊粲然一笑——那笑容十分迷人，令他生硬的回答就完全不顯得無(wú)禮了。

He closed it and looking at me with his peculiarly opaque eyes held it so that I couldn't see the title.
他把書合上，讓我看不見書名，用他那簡(jiǎn)直無(wú)任何光澤的眼睛望著我。

“Did you have a good time last night?”I asked.
“你昨晚玩得好嗎？”我問。

“Wonderful. Didn't get home till five.”
“痛快極了，凌晨五點(diǎn)鐘才回的家?！?/p>

“It's very strenuous of you to be here so bright and early.”
“你這么早來(lái)這兒讀書，真夠刻苦的了。”

“I come here a good deal. Generally I have the place to myself at this time.”
“我是這里的?？?。平時(shí)的這個(gè)時(shí)候，屋子里只有我一個(gè)人?！?/p>

“I won't disturb you.”
“我就不打攪你了?！?/p>

“You're not disturbing me，”he said, smiling again, and now it occurred to me that he had a smile of great sweetness. It was not a brilliant, flashing smile, it was a smile that lit his face as with an inner light.He was sitting in an alcove made by jutting out shelves and there was a chair next to him.He put his hand on the arm.“Won't you sit down for a minute?”
“你沒有打攪我?！彼f(shuō)著又是粲然一笑。這一笑讓我覺得魅力百生，絕非那種耀眼的、電光一閃的微笑，而是內(nèi)心光明的展現(xiàn)，令他滿面生輝。他坐的地方是用書架圍成的一個(gè)角落，旁邊還有一把椅子。他把手放在那把椅子的扶手上說(shuō)：“你坐一會(huì)兒好嗎？”

“All right.”
“好的?！?/p>

He handed me the book he was holding.
他把手里拿的書遞給了我。

“That's what I was reading.”
“我看的是這書?！?/p>

I looked at it and saw it was William James's Principles of Psychology. It is, of course, a standard work and important in the history of the science with which it deals；it is moreover exceedingly readable；but it is not the sort of book I should have expected to see in the hands of a very young man, an aviator, who had been dancing till five in the morning.
我看了看書名，原來(lái)是威廉·詹姆斯寫的《心理學(xué)原理》。這當(dāng)然是部名著，在心理學(xué)史上占有重要位置，寫得深入淺出、通俗易懂。不過(guò)，一個(gè)年輕人，一個(gè)飛行員，一個(gè)跳舞跳到凌晨五點(diǎn)鐘的人，竟然在這兒捧讀這樣的一本書，就叫人意想不到了。

“Why are you reading this?”I asked.
“為什么看這書？”我問。

“I'm very ignorant.”
“還不是因?yàn)閷W(xué)識(shí)太淺薄了唄?！?/p>

“You're also very young，”I smiled.
“你還十分年輕么。”我笑著說(shuō)。

He did not speak for so long a time that I began to find the silence awkward and I was on the point of getting up and looking for the magazines I had come to find. But I had a feeling that he wanted to say something.He looked into vacancy, his face grave and intent, and seemed to meditate.I waited.I was curious to know what it was all about.When he began to speak it was as though he were continuing the conversation without awareness of that long silence.
接下來(lái)，他好一會(huì)兒沒有說(shuō)話，我覺得局面有些尷尬，正想起身離開去找自己要讀的校刊，卻有一種感覺——他有話要說(shuō)。只見他目光空洞地望著前方，表情莊重、專注，像是在沉思。我在等待他開口，滿腹的好奇，想知道他會(huì)說(shuō)些什么。他重新開始說(shuō)話時(shí)，顯得很連貫，仿佛中間沒有出現(xiàn)過(guò)長(zhǎng)時(shí)間的沉默似的。

“When I came back from France they all wanted me to go to college. I couldn't.After what I'd been through I felt I couldn't go back to school.I learnt nothing at my prep school anyway.I felt I couldn't enter into a fresh-man's life.They wouldn’t have liked me.I didn’t want to act a part I didn’t feel.And I didn’t think the instructors would teach me the sort of things I wanted to know.”
“我從法國(guó)回來(lái)時(shí)，人人都勸我進(jìn)大學(xué)深造。這我是做不到的。有了那樣的人生經(jīng)歷，我覺得自己無(wú)法再重返校園了。在預(yù)科學(xué)校時(shí)我就沒學(xué)什么東西，現(xiàn)在叫我上大一的課程，便是趕著鴨子上架，早晚是討人嫌。我也不愿勉強(qiáng)自己做自己不想做的事。而且我不相信那些教師能教給我自己所需要的知識(shí)?！?/p>

“Of course I know this is no business of mine，”I answered，“but I'm not convinced you were right. I think I understand what you mean and I can see that, after being in the war for two years, it would have been rather a nuisance to become the sort of glorified schoolboy an undergraduate is during his first and second years.I can't believe they wouldn't have liked you.I don't know much about American universities, but I don't believe American undergraduates are very different from English ones, perhaps a little more boisterous and a little more inclined to horseplay, but on the whole very decent, sensible boys, and I take it that if you don’t want to lead their lives they’re quite willing, if you exercise a little tact, to let you lead yours.I never went to Cambridge as my brothers did.I had the chance, but I refused it.I wanted to get out into the world.I’ve always regretted it.I think it would have saved me a lot of mistakes.You learn more quickly under the guidance of experienced teachers.You waste a lot of time going down blind alleys if you have no one to lead you.”
“當(dāng)然，我知道此事與我不相干，”我開口說(shuō)道，“但我覺得你的想法是不對(duì)的。你的意思我想自己是理解的，也知道你打了兩年的仗，現(xiàn)在讓一個(gè)榮譽(yù)加身的中學(xué)生進(jìn)大學(xué)，當(dāng)一名大一大二的學(xué)生，滋味是很不好受的。至于你說(shuō)自己會(huì)討人嫌，我就不相信了。雖然我對(duì)美國(guó)的大學(xué)了解不深，但我認(rèn)為美國(guó)的大學(xué)生和英國(guó)的并沒有多大區(qū)別，也許只是稍微更頑皮一些，更喜歡熱鬧一些。總體而言，他們是些正派、懂事的孩子。我敢說(shuō)，假如你不想過(guò)他們那種生活，只要稍微講究一點(diǎn)策略，他們不會(huì)難為你的。我的哥哥弟弟都讀過(guò)劍橋，我卻沒有。有過(guò)一個(gè)機(jī)會(huì)，可是我放棄了，而是一個(gè)心眼兒要到社會(huì)上闖蕩。對(duì)此我一直都很后悔。當(dāng)初要是上了大學(xué)，恐怕能少栽許多跟頭。在有經(jīng)驗(yàn)的大學(xué)老師指導(dǎo)下，學(xué)習(xí)上進(jìn)步是很快的。缺乏引路人，就會(huì)糟蹋掉許多時(shí)間，盲人瞎馬般亂撞?！?/p>

“You may be right. I don't mind if I make mistakes.It may be that in one of the blind alleys I may find something to my purpose.”
“也許你說(shuō)得在理。但栽跟頭我是不在乎的。盲人瞎馬般亂撞，或許還能有所發(fā)現(xiàn)，找到自己的人生目標(biāo)呢?！?/p>

“What is your purpose?”
“你的人生目標(biāo)是什么？”

He hesitated a moment.
他遲疑了一下，然后說(shuō)道：

“That's just it. I don't quite know it yet.”
“人生目標(biāo)嘛，我也說(shuō)不清道不明?！?/p>

I was silent, for there didn't seem to be anything to say in answer to that. I, who from a very early age have always had before me a clear and definite purpose, was inclined to feel impatient, but I chid myself；I had what I can only call an intuition that there was in the soul of that boy some confused striving, whether of half-thought-out ideas or of dimly felt emotions I could not tell, which filled him with a restlessness that urged him he did not know whither.He strangely excited my sympathy.I had never before heard him speak much and it was only now that I became conscious of the melodiousness of his voice.It was very persuasive.It was like balm.When I considered that, his engaging smile, and the expressiveness of his very black eyes I could well understand that Isabel was in love with him.There was indeed something very lovable about him.He turned his head and looked at me without embarrassment, but with an expression in his eyes that was at once scrutinizing and amused.
我一時(shí)無(wú)語(yǔ)。對(duì)于這樣的回答，你想評(píng)論似乎也是說(shuō)不出什么來(lái)的。我本人少年時(shí)就有明確的人生目標(biāo)，對(duì)缺乏志向的人當(dāng)然會(huì)感到不耐煩的。不過(guò)，我喝止住了自己。我有個(gè)感覺，只能說(shuō)是直覺：這孩子的魂魄里有一種雜亂的沖動(dòng)，不知那是半明半昧的觀念，還是一種隱隱約約的情緒，使得他永無(wú)寧日，刺激著他盲目地朝前沖。說(shuō)來(lái)也怪，正是這樣的一種東西令我頓時(shí)萌發(fā)了同情之心。此前聽他說(shuō)話只是只言片語(yǔ)，此刻始發(fā)現(xiàn)他的聲音十分悅耳，如香膏般叫人陶醉。想想這些，再看看他那迷人的微笑和富于表情的黑眼珠，也就不難理解伊莎貝爾為什么那般愛他了。他身上的確有惹人憐愛的地方。他轉(zhuǎn)過(guò)臉望著我，神態(tài)坦率，但眼睛里卻有一種表情——既是挑剔，又有點(diǎn)玩世不恭。

“Am I right in thinking that after we all went off to dance last night you talked about me?”
“昨天晚上我們?nèi)ヌ瑁蚁肽銈冊(cè)诒澈笳f(shuō)我了吧？”

“Part of the time.”
“不錯(cuò)，是提到了你。”

“I thought that was why Uncle Bob had been pressed to come to dinner. He hates going out.”
“硬把鮑勃叔叔請(qǐng)來(lái)，恐怕就是因?yàn)檫@個(gè)理由了。他原本是很討厭出門的?！?/p>

“It appears that you've got the offer of a very good job.”
“好像有人給你找了一個(gè)很好的工作?！?/p>

“A wonderful job.”
“工作的確是很棒?！?/p>

“Are you going to take it?”
“你打算干嗎？”

“I don't think so.”
“恐難從命。”

“Why not?”
“為什么？”

“I don't want to.”
“他們有心，我無(wú)意。”

I was butting into an affair that was no concern of mine, but I had a notion that just because I was a stranger from a foreign country Larry was not disinclined to talk to me about it.
我真是咸吃蘿卜淡操心。不過(guò)，我有一種感覺，正是因?yàn)槲襾?lái)自海外，與此事無(wú)關(guān)，他才無(wú)排斥之心，愿意跟我交流交流。

“Well, you know when people are no good at anything else they become writers，”I said, with a chuckle.
“哦，你知道，一個(gè)人什么都做不了時(shí)，他就當(dāng)作家。”我說(shuō)完，撲哧笑了一聲。

“I have no talent.”
“我可沒有當(dāng)作家的天賦。”

“Then what do you want to do?”
“那你打算干什么呢？”

He gave me his radiant, fascinating smile.
他綻出一個(gè)燦爛、迷人的微笑。

“Loaf，”he said.
“逛大街?！彼f(shuō)。

I had to laugh.
我聽了不由哈哈大笑。

“I shouldn't have thought Chicago the best place in the world to do that in，”I said.“Anyhow, I'll leave you to your reading. I want to have a look at the Yale Quarterly.”
“芝加哥恐怕不是個(gè)逛大街的好地方?！蔽艺f(shuō)，“我就不打攪了。你看你的書吧，我去查閱《耶魯季刊》?！?/p>

I got up. When I left the library Larry was still absorbed in William James's book.I lunched by myself at the club and since it was quiet in the library went back there to smoke my cigar and idle an hour or two away, reading and writing letters.I was surprised to see Larry still immersed in his book.He looked as if he hadn't moved since I left him.He was still there when about four I went away.I was struck by his evident power of concentration.He had neither noticed me go nor come.I had various things to do during the afternoon and did not go back to the Blackstone till it was time to change for the dinner party I was going to.On my way I was seized with an impulse of curiosity.I dropped into the club once more and went into the library.There were quite a number of people there then, reading the papers and what not.Larry was still sitting in the same chair, intent on the same book.Odd！
我起身走開了。等到我離開閱覽室時(shí)，拉里還在專心致志地看威廉·詹姆斯的那本書。我獨(dú)自在俱樂部里用了午餐，因?yàn)殚営[室里安靜，又回到那里去抽雪茄，在那兒消磨了一兩個(gè)小時(shí)，看看書、寫寫信什么的。叫我感到詫異的是，拉里仍在聚精會(huì)神地看書，好像自打我走開后他一直就沒有挪過(guò)窩。四點(diǎn)鐘左右我走出閱覽室，他還在老地方。顯然，他有著很強(qiáng)的定力，叫我感到很是驚訝。我或來(lái)或走，他全然不加留意。下午，我因瑣事纏身，直到應(yīng)當(dāng)換衣服去赴晚宴時(shí)，才回黑石旅館。回旅館的路上，我突發(fā)好奇之心，于是又去了一趟俱樂部，拐進(jìn)了閱覽室。此時(shí)，閱覽室里已經(jīng)有不少人在看報(bào)讀書什么的。拉里竟然還坐在那張椅子上，還在全神貫注地看那本書！這不能不叫人稱奇！