Cordt entered, dressed to go out, and hurriedly crossed the room.
Fru Adelheid sat writing. She looked up, as he came in, and went on writing.
“Where is Finn?”
“Upstairs, I suppose…in his room,”she answered, without looking at him.
He stood at the window for a moment. Then he fung himself into a chair and got up again and stood by the table at which she was sitting:
“Have you been with him to-day?”
“No.”
She closed her blotting-book and turned her chair so that her face was in shadow. Then she said:
“Finn is too much alone.”
“Yes.”
He nodded and said yes again; then stood with his head bowed deep in thought.
“It is so quiet here,”said Fru Adelheid.“You are not happy and Finn notices it. And Hans is away.…”
“Yes…yes…”
She crossed her arms over her breast and sat silent and lookedat the tip of her foot.
“Adelheid…”
Cordt drew himself erect:
“We will fll the house with gayety,”he said.“We will go and pay visits tomorrow morning…you and Finn and I…to old friends and new. We will have young and cheerful people here and pretty women and clever men…lights and music.”
She looked up at him. He smiled and put his hand on her shoulder.
“Yes,”she said.
Cordt talked about it a little and then went out hurriedly.
Fru Adelheid remained sitting long. The room grew dark. The lamps before the gateway were lit and their fickering gleams danced on the ceiling. The fire in the hearth smouldered under the ashes. Where she sat, no light fell; her white dress shone faintly through the gloom.
She thought of Cordt's smile…h(huán)e had said that to her much as though he were asking one of the people in the offce to take pains in a diffcult matter.
She thought of Finn, who looked at her with such strange eyes, as though the relations between him and his mother had changed and he could not understand it.
She thought of herself. She felt like a tree in autumn, when the leaves fall… a tree that had always thought itself green and beautiful until now, when it saw its glory futter before the wind.
And, day after day and every hour of the day, she rebuilt it all as it might have been.
She built up the temple of the old room again and locked thedoor with seven seals. She put time back and sat with her little boy in her lap and resented old Marie's undressing him and singing him to sleep. She put time forward and celebrated the day when Finn should lead his wife into the secret chamber of the house and tell her all about it, in all its beauty and solemnity, and write his name and hers on the yellow document.
Fru Adelheid smiled sadly.
She thought she was like the man who had put the celestial globe up there in the old room…the man whose intellect was obscured and who sat and played with the stars until he died.
But her thoughts always went the same way, while the darkness fell ever closer about Cordt's house.
She wondered, would it be any use now, if the house were flled with lights and gayety? Or would the darkness lurk in every gloomy corner and spring forth when the feast was over and for ever hide the three who moved about the house, each his own way, anxiously and alone?
She did not know. But she always thought of it. And there was nothing tempestuous in her hope and in her fear and in her regret.
Fru Adelheid was calm now, always.
科特打扮成要出門(mén)的樣子,急匆匆地穿過(guò)客廳。
阿德?tīng)柡5伦谀抢飳?xiě)信。當(dāng)科特走進(jìn)來(lái)時(shí),她抬頭看了一眼,然后又繼續(xù)寫(xiě)信。
“芬在哪里?”
“樓上吧,在他自己房間里?!卑⒌?tīng)柡5禄卮穑劬Σ](méi)有看科特。
科特站在窗戶(hù)旁待了一會(huì)兒,然后他坐到椅子上,又站起來(lái),走到阿德?tīng)柡5聦?xiě)信的書(shū)桌旁說(shuō):
“你今天跟他在一起嗎?”
“沒(méi)有?!?/p>
她合起筆記本,轉(zhuǎn)了轉(zhuǎn)她的椅子,她的臉隱藏在陰影下。
然后她說(shuō)道:
“芬太孤獨(dú)了。”
“是的。”
科特點(diǎn)點(diǎn)頭,又說(shuō)了聲“是的”;然后低著頭,站在那里,陷入沉思。
“這里太安靜了。”阿德?tīng)柡5抡f(shuō),“你不開(kāi)心,芬注意到了這點(diǎn)。漢斯也離開(kāi)了?!?/p>
“是的,是的。”
阿德?tīng)柡5码p臂交叉,沉默地坐在那里,眼睛看著腳尖。
“阿德?tīng)柡5?,”科特站直了身體,“我們會(huì)讓這房子充滿(mǎn)歡笑,”他說(shuō),“我們,你,我,還有芬,明天去拜訪(fǎng)一下我們的新老朋友。我們邀請(qǐng)有活力的年輕人來(lái)家里做客,邀請(qǐng)漂亮的女人和聰明的男人,讓屋子充滿(mǎn)燈光和音樂(lè)?!?/p>
阿德?tīng)柡5绿ь^看著他。他笑笑,然后把手放在她的肩頭。
“好的。”阿德?tīng)柡5禄卮稹?/p>
關(guān)于這樣的安排,科特又繼續(xù)講了一陣,然后就急匆匆地出去了。
阿德?tīng)柡5麻L(zhǎng)久地坐在那里,客廳里漸漸暗了下來(lái)。大門(mén)前的燈亮了起來(lái),燈影在天花板上搖曳。壁爐里的火苗在堆積的灰燼下悶悶地燃燒。阿德?tīng)柡5滤奈恢脹](méi)有被燈光照到,她身上的白色裙子反射著微微的光亮。
她想到科特的微笑。他那樣跟她說(shuō)話(huà),就好像是他在要求辦公室的某個(gè)人做一件為難的事一樣。她想到芬,芬看著她時(shí)那奇怪的眼神就好像他們之間的母子關(guān)系改變了,而且他無(wú)法理解。
她想到她自己。她感到自己像秋天里樹(shù)葉凋零的樹(shù),一棵一直認(rèn)為自己常青美麗的樹(shù),直到現(xiàn)在,她卻看到了自己的青春在風(fēng)中搖擺。
日復(fù)一日,每時(shí)每刻,她都在重建老屋子的舊日輝煌。
她重建老屋子的神壇,用七道封印封住門(mén)。她把時(shí)間調(diào)回到以前,想象她抱著她的孩子坐在那里,嫉妒老瑪麗給他脫衣服,唱歌哄他入睡。她又想象未來(lái),開(kāi)心地描畫(huà)著芬?guī)е钠拮犹と肜衔葑?,并將兩人的名字?xiě)在黃色文件上的那一天。
阿德?tīng)柡5驴酀匦πΑ?/p>
她想到,她好像那個(gè)把天球儀放在老屋子的那個(gè)人,那個(gè)神志不清坐在那里一直擺弄那些星星到死的人。
但當(dāng)黑夜降臨時(shí),她的想法總是殊途同歸。
她想,如果現(xiàn)在讓這房子充滿(mǎn)歡樂(lè),還有用嗎?還是會(huì)在宴會(huì)結(jié)束后,潛伏在房子每個(gè)陰郁角落的黑暗都會(huì)迸發(fā)出來(lái),逼得他們?nèi)齻€(gè)人以各自的方式隱藏起來(lái),焦慮而孤獨(dú)?
她不知道。但她經(jīng)常會(huì)想到這些。然而,不論是在她的希望里、她的恐懼中還是在她的遺憾里,都沒(méi)有任何激情存在。
阿德?tīng)柡5卢F(xiàn)在非常平靜。
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