At the Great American Lunch Hour young George O'Kelly straightened his desk deliberately and with an assumed air of interest. No one in the office must know that he was in a hurry, for success is a matter of atmosphere, and it is not well to advertise the fact that your mind is separated from your work by a distance of seven hundred miles.
But once out of the building he set his teeth and began to run, glancing now and then at the gay noon of early spring which filled Times Square and loitered less than twenty feet over the heads of the crowd. The crowd all looked slightly upward and took deep March breaths, and the sun dazzled their eyes so that scarcely any one saw any one else but only their own reflection on the sky.
George O'Kelly, whose mind was over seven hundred miles away, thought that all outdoors was horrible. He rushed into the subway, and for ninety-five blocks bent a frenzied glance on a car-card which showed vividly how he had only one chance in five of keeping his teeth for ten years. At 137th Street he broke off his study of commercial art, left the subway, and began to run again, a tireless, anxious run that brought him this time to his home—one room in a high, horrible apartment-house in the middle of nowhere.
There it was on the bureau, the letter—in sacred ink, on blessed paper—all over the city, people, if they listened, could hear the beating of George O'Kelly's heart. He read the commas, the blots, and the thumb-smudge on the margin—then he threw himself hopelessly upon his bed.
He was in a mess, one of those terrific messes which are ordinary incidents in the life of the poor, which follow poverty like birds of prey. The poor go under or go up or go wrong or even go on, somehow, in away the poor have—but George O'Kelly was so new to poverty that had any one denied the uniqueness of his case he would have been astounded.
Less than two years ago he had been graduated with honors from The Massachusetts Institute of Technology and had taken a position with a firm of construction engineers in southern Tennessee. All his life he had thought in terms of tunnels and skyscrapers and great squat dams and tall, three-towered bridges, that were like dancers holding hands in a row, with heads as tall as cities and skirts of cable strand. It had seemed romantic to George O'Kelly to change the sweep of rivers and the shape of mountains so that life could flourish in the old bad lands of the world where it had never taken root before. He loved steel, and there was always steel near him in his dreams, liquid steel, steel in bars, and blocks and beams and formless plastic masses, waiting for him, as paint and canvas to his hand. Steel inexhaustible, to be made lovely and austere in his imaginative fire…
At present he was an insurance clerk at forty dollars a week with his dream slipping fast behind him. The dark little girl who had made this mess, this terrible and intolerable mess, was waiting to be sent for in a town in Tennessee.
In fifteen minutes the woman from whom he sublet his room knocked and asked him with maddening kindness if, since he was home, he would have some lunch. He shook his head, but the interruption aroused him, and getting up from the bed he wrote a telegram.
“Letter depressed me have you lost your nerve you are foolish and just upset to think of breaking off why not marry me immediately sure we can make it all right—”
He hesitated for a wild minute, and then added in a hand that could scarcely be recognized as his own: “In any case I will arrive to-morrow at six o'clock.”
When he finished he ran out of the apartment and down to the telegraph office near the subway stop. He possessed in this world not quite one hundred dollars, but the letter showed that she was“nervous”and this left him no choice. He knew what“nervous”meant—that she was emotionally depressed, that the prospect of marrying into a life of poverty and struggle was putting too much strain upon her love.
George O'Kelly reached the insurance company at his usual run, the run that had become almost second nature to him, that seemed best to express the tension under which he lived. He went straight to the manager's office.
“I want to see you, Mr. Chambers,” he announced breathlessly.
“Well?” Two eyes, eyes like winter windows, glared at him with ruthless impersonality.
“I want to get four days' vacation.”
“Why, you had a vacation just two weeks ago!” said Mr. Chambers in surprise.
“That's true,” admitted the distraught young man, “but now I've got to have another.”
“Where'd you go last time? To your home?”
“No, I went to—a place in Tennessee.”
“Well, where do you want to go this time?”
“Well, this time I want to go to—a place in Tennessee.”
“You're consistent, anyhow,” said the manager dryly. “But I didn't realize you were employed here as a traveling salesman.”
“I'm not,” cried George desperately, “but I've got to go.”
“All right,” agreed Mr. Chambers, “but you don't have to come back. So don't!”
“I won't.” And to his own astonishment as well as Mr. Chambers' George's face grew pink with pleasure. He felt happy, exultant—for the first time in six months he was absolutely free. Tears of gratitude stood in his eyes, and he seized Mr. Chambers warmly by the hand.
“I want to thank you,” he said with a rush of emotion. “I don't want to come back. I think I'd have gone crazy if you'd said that I could come back. Only I couldn't quit myself, you see, and I want to thank you for—for quitting for me.”
He waved his hand magnanimously, shouted aloud, “You owe me three days' salary but you can keep it!” and rushed from the office. Mr. Chambers rang for his stenographer to ask if O'Kelly had seemed queer lately. He had fired many men in the course of his career, and they had taken it in many different ways, but none of them had thanked him—ever before.
在美國(guó)莊嚴(yán)神圣的午飯時(shí)刻,年輕的喬治·歐凱利故作鎮(zhèn)靜地整理著桌子,一副興趣盎然的樣子。辦公室里沒(méi)有人知道其實(shí)他心里急得要命,因?yàn)槌晒o(wú)非是湊個(gè)人氣,至于他的心思不在工作上而在七百英里之外的地方,這一點(diǎn)是不能逢人便說(shuō)的。
可是一走出辦公樓,他就咬緊牙關(guān),開(kāi)始跑起來(lái),一邊跑還一邊到處觀(guān)望。早春時(shí)節(jié)明媚的正午,時(shí)代廣場(chǎng)上洋溢著歡樂(lè)的氣氛,歡聲笑語(yǔ)在人們頭頂不到二十英尺的地方飄蕩。大家都微微仰著頭,深深地呼吸著三月里清新的空氣,陽(yáng)光照得人眼花繚亂,因此,大家?guī)缀醵疾豢磩e人,只盯著自己在空中的影像。
喬治·歐凱利的心早已飛到七百英里之外了。他覺(jué)得戶(hù)外活動(dòng)都是極其可怕的。他沖進(jìn)地鐵,穿過(guò)九十五個(gè)街區(qū),貓著身子激動(dòng)地盯著車(chē)廂里的一幅宣傳廣告,這幅廣告生動(dòng)地向他展示了十年中他只有五分之一的機(jī)會(huì)保住他的牙齒。在第一百三十七大街上,他止住對(duì)商業(yè)廣告藝術(shù)的探究,下了地鐵,又開(kāi)始跑起來(lái)。此時(shí)此刻,他甩開(kāi)不知疲倦的腳步,心急如焚地朝家中狂奔——他的家只有一間屋子,在一個(gè)不起眼的地方的一套樓層又高條件又差的公寓里。
桌子上放著那封信——信是用神圣的墨汁和神圣的紙張寫(xiě)成的——城里的人們要是仔細(xì)傾聽(tīng),就都能聽(tīng)到喬治·歐凱利的心跳。他看著信上的每一個(gè)標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號(hào)、每一個(gè)墨跡、空白處的拇指印——然后,便無(wú)望地一頭扎到床上了。
他的處境十分不妙,這種極其困頓的情形在窮人的生活中司空見(jiàn)慣。困頓和窮人如影隨形,猶如鳥(niǎo)兒天生就要成為獵物。任憑窮人怎樣上下求索、左右出擊或聽(tīng)天由命,都無(wú)法擺脫貧窮的命運(yùn)——然而喬治·歐凱利非常不適應(yīng)貧窮的生活,因此,要是有人否認(rèn)他的情況是個(gè)特例,他一定會(huì)感到十分震驚。
一年多以前,他以?xún)?yōu)異的成績(jī)從麻省理工學(xué)院畢業(yè),并且在南方的田納西州的一家建筑公司找到一份工程師的工作。他從小就一門(mén)心思地想著隧道、摩天大廈、巨大的水壩、有三座橋頭堡的高橋,橋上的橋頭堡就像拉著手排成一排的舞者,她們的頭顱像城市一樣高,橋上的吊索就像她們的裙子。改變河流山川的走向和地貌就能讓世界上古老貧瘠的不毛之地?zé)òl(fā)出一派生機(jī),在喬治·歐凱利看來(lái)是十分浪漫的事。他喜歡鋼鐵,常常夢(mèng)見(jiàn)自己的周?chē)际卿撹F,鋼水、鋼條、鋼塊、鋼梁以及可塑的軟鋼在等著他一展宏圖,就像他手中的顏料和帆布畫(huà)布一樣。取之不竭、用之不盡的鋼材被他那熊熊燃燒的想象之火鍛造得既質(zhì)樸又漂亮……
目前,他在一家保險(xiǎn)公司當(dāng)職員,每個(gè)禮拜只能掙四十美元。他與夢(mèng)想的距離迅速拉大,夢(mèng)想已經(jīng)遙不可及了。那個(gè)皮膚黝黑的小姑娘造成了這種不幸的局面,這種可怕的、無(wú)法忍受的局面,而她正在田納西的一個(gè)小鎮(zhèn)上等著他去見(jiàn)她。
十五分鐘后,那個(gè)女人,他的二房東,無(wú)比好心地來(lái)敲他的門(mén),問(wèn)他既然回來(lái)了,要不要吃午飯。他搖搖頭,但是房東已經(jīng)把他吵醒了,他就起床寫(xiě)了封電報(bào)。
“來(lái)信令我傷心你是沒(méi)信心還是太傻太失望才要分手為什么不馬上嫁給我我們一定能幸?!?/p>
他心亂如麻,猶豫了一會(huì)兒,又隨手補(bǔ)充了一句連他自己都不敢相信的話(huà):“明早六點(diǎn)不見(jiàn)不散。”
寫(xiě)完,他便跑出公寓,奔向地鐵站附近的電報(bào)局。他在這個(gè)世界上連一百塊錢(qián)的財(cái)產(chǎn)都沒(méi)有,然而,她在信中流露出“不安”的情緒,所以他別無(wú)選擇。他知道“不安”意味著什么——意味著她情緒低落,意味著她將要嫁給一個(gè)窮光蛋而過(guò)上一貧如洗的生活,這樣的婚姻前景再加上她內(nèi)心的糾結(jié)和掙扎,為她的愛(ài)情帶來(lái)了不堪承受的重壓。
喬治·歐凱利一如既往地跑到保險(xiǎn)公司,奔跑幾乎已經(jīng)變成他的第二個(gè)天性,似乎也最大限度地表現(xiàn)出他正生活在巨大的壓力之下。他徑直朝經(jīng)理辦公室走去。
“我有事找您,查姆博斯先生。”他上氣不接下氣地大聲說(shuō)。
“什么事?”經(jīng)理的兩只眼睛瞪得像冬天里的窗戶(hù)一樣,冷冷地、不耐煩地看著他。
“我想請(qǐng)四天假?!?/p>
“怎么回事,兩個(gè)禮拜前你才剛剛請(qǐng)過(guò)假!”查姆博斯先生吃驚地說(shuō)。
“的確如此,”這位憂(yōu)心如焚的年輕人坦率地承認(rèn)道,“可是,我還得請(qǐng)個(gè)假。”
“上次你去哪里啦?回老家了嗎?”
“沒(méi)有回老家,我去了——田納西的一個(gè)地方。”
“那么,這一次你要去哪里?”
“呃,這次我想去——田納西的一個(gè)地方?!?/p>
“不管怎么說(shuō),你還挺執(zhí)著的,”經(jīng)理干巴巴地說(shuō),“不過(guò),我原來(lái)并不知道,公司是讓你來(lái)做旅游銷(xiāo)售的?!?/p>
“我不是做旅游銷(xiāo)售的,”喬治絕望地叫道,“可我必須去?!?/p>
“好吧,”查姆博斯先生同意了,“不過(guò),你不必回來(lái)了。所以,就別回來(lái)了!”
“我不會(huì)回來(lái)了。”這句話(huà)讓他自己和查姆博斯先生都大吃一驚。喬治興奮得滿(mǎn)面紅光,他覺(jué)得很開(kāi)心,簡(jiǎn)直歡欣雀躍——半年來(lái),他第一次擁有了徹底的自由。他的眼中蓄滿(mǎn)了感激的淚花,激動(dòng)地一把握住了查姆博斯先生的手。
“我想感謝您,”他一陣沖動(dòng),動(dòng)容地說(shuō),“我不想回來(lái)了。如果你說(shuō)我還可以回來(lái),那我才會(huì)發(fā)瘋呢。您知道,讓我自己提出辭職,我做不到,因此我想謝謝您——謝謝您辭退了我。”
他頗有氣度地?fù)]了揮手,用洪亮的聲音說(shuō)道:“你還欠我三天工資呢,不過(guò),你留下好了!”說(shuō)話(huà)間便沖出了辦公室。查姆博斯先生按鈴叫來(lái)了速記員,問(wèn)他歐凱利最近是不是看起來(lái)很古怪。在他的職業(yè)生涯中,他解雇過(guò)很多人,盡管他們的態(tài)度各有不同,但是沒(méi)有一個(gè)人會(huì)對(duì)他感恩戴德——這真是前所未有的奇事啊!
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