Now, of course, the quality and the seasonability of these winter dreams varied, but the stuff of them remained. They persuaded Dexter several years later to pass up a business course at the State university—his father, prospering now, would have paid his way—for the precarious advantage of attending an older and more famous university in the East, where he was bothered by his scanty funds. But do not get the impression, because his winter dreams happened to be concerned at first with musings on the rich, that there was anything merely snobbish in the boy. He wanted not association with glittering things and glittering people—he wanted the glittering things themselves. Often he reached out for the best without knowing why he wanted it—and sometimes he ran up against the mysterious denials and prohibitions in which life indulges. It is with one of those denials and not with his career as a whole that this story deals.
He made money. It was rather amazing. After college he went to the city from which Black Bear Lake draws its wealthy patrons. When he was only twenty-three and had been there not quite two years, there were already people who liked to say: “Now there's a boy—”All about him rich men's sons were peddling bonds precariously, or investing patrimonies precariously, or plodding through the two dozen volumes of the“George Washington Commercial Course,” but Dexter borrowed a thousand dollars on his college degree and his confident mouth, and bought a partnership in a laundry.
It was a small laundry when he went into it but Dexter made a specialty of learning how the English washed fine woollen golf-stockings without shrinking them, and within a year he was catering to the trade that wore knickerbockers. Men were insisting that their Shetland hose and sweaters go to his laundry, just as they had insisted on a caddy who could find golf-balls. A little later he was doing their wives' lingerie as well—and running five branches in different parts of the city. Before he was twenty-seven he owned the largest string of laundries in his section of the country. It was then that he sold out and went to New York. But the part of his story that concerns us goes back to the days when he was making his first big success.
When he was twenty-three Mr. Hart—one of the gray-haired men who liked to say“Now there's a boy”—gave him a guest card to the Sherry Island Golf Club for a week-end. So he signed his name one day on the register, and that afternoon played golf in a foursome with Mr. Hart and Mr. Sandwood and Mr. T. A. Hedrick. He did not consider it necessary to remark that he had once carried Mr. Hart's bag over this same links, and that he knew every trap and gully with his eyes shut—but he found himself glancing at the four caddies who trailed them, trying to catch a gleam or gesture that would remind him of himself, that would lessen the gap which lay between his present and his past.
It was a curious day, slashed abruptly with fleeting, familiar impressions. One minute he had the sense of being a trespasser—in the next he was impressed by the tremendous superiority he felt toward Mr. T. A. Hedrick, who was a bore and not even a good golfer any more.
Then, because of a ball Mr. Hart lost near the fifteenth green, an enormous thing happened. While they were searching the stiff grasses of the rough there was a clear call of“Fore!” from behind a hill in their rear. And as they all turned abruptly from their search a bright new ball sliced abruptly over the hill and caught Mr. T. A. Hedrick in the abdomen.
“By Gad!” cried Mr. T. A. Hedrick, “they ought to put some of these crazy women off the course. It's getting to be outrageous.”
A head and a voice came up together over the hill:
“Do you mind if we go through?”
“You hit me in the stomach!” declared Mr. Hedrick wildly.
“Did I?” The girl approached the group of men. “I'm sorry. I yelled ‘Fore!’”
Her glance fell casually on each of the men—then scanned the fairway for her ball.
“Did I bounce into the rough?”
It was impossible to determine whether this question was ingenuous or malicious. In a moment, however, she left no doubt, for as her partner came up over the hill she called cheerfully:
“Here I am! I'd have gone on the green except that I hit something.”
As she took her stance for a short mashie shot, Dexter looked at her closely. She wore a blue gingham dress, rimmed at throat and shoulders with a white edging that accentuated her tan. The quality of exaggeration, of thinness, which had made her passionate eyes and down-turning mouth absurd at eleven, was gone now. She was arrestingly beautiful. The color in her cheeks was centered like the color in a picture—it was not a“high”color, but a sort of fluctuating and feverish warmth, so shaded that it seemed at any moment it would recede and disappear. This color and the mobility of her mouth gave a continual impression of flux, of intense life, of passionate vitality—balanced only partially by the sad luxury of her eyes.
She swung her mashie impatiently and without interest, pitching the ball into a sand-pit on the other side of the green. With a quick, insincere smile and a careless“Thank you!” she went on after it.
“That Judy Jones!” remarked Mr. Hedrick on the next tee, as they waited—some moments—for her to play on ahead. “All she needs is to be turned up and spanked for six months and then to be married off to an old-fashioned cavalry captain.”
“My God, she's good-looking!” said Mr. Sandwood, who was just over thirty.
“Good-looking!” cried Mr. Hedrick contemptuously. “She always looks as if she wanted to be kissed! Turning those big cow-eyes on every calf in town!”
It was doubtful if Mr. Hedrick intended a reference to the maternal instinct.
“She'd play pretty good golf if she'd try,” said Mr. Sandwood.
“She has no form,” said Mr. Hedrick solemnly.
“She has a nice figure,” said Mr. Sandwood.
“Better thank the Lord she doesn't drive a swifter ball,” said Mr. Hart, winking at Dexter.
Later in the afternoon the sun went down with a riotous swirl of gold and varying blues and scarlets, and left the dry, rustling night of Western summer. Dexter watched from the veranda of the Golf Club, watched the even overlap of the waters in the little wind, silver molasses under the harvest-moon. Then the moon held a finger to her lips and the lake became a clear pool, pale and quiet. Dexter put on his bathing-suit and swam out to the farthest raft, where he stretched dripping on the wet canvas of the spring-board.
There was a fish jumping and a star shining and the lights around the lake were gleaming. Over on a dark peninsula a piano was playing the songs of last summer and of summers before that—songs from“Chin-Chin”and“The Count of Luxemburg”and“The Chocolate Soldier”—and because the sound of a piano over a stretch of water had always seemed beautiful to Dexter he lay perfectly quiet and listened.
The tune the piano was playing at that moment had been gay and new five years before when Dexter was a sophomore at college. They had played it at a prom once when he could not afford the luxury of proms, and he had stood outside the gymnasium and listened. The sound of the tune precipitated in him a sort of ecstasy and it was with that ecstasy he viewed what happened to him now. It was a mood of intense appreciation, a sense that, for once, he was magnificently attuned to life and that everything about him was radiating a brightness and a glamour he might never know again.
A low, pale oblong detached itself suddenly from the darkness of the Island, spitting forth the reverberated sound of a racing motor-boat. Two white streamers of cleft water rolled themselves out behind it and almost immediately the boat was beside him, drowning out the hot tinkle of the piano in the drone of its spray. Dexter raising himself on his arms was aware of a figure standing at the wheel, of two dark eyes regarding him over the lengthening space of water—then the boat had gone by and was sweeping in an immense and purposeless circle of spray round and round in the middle of the lake. With equal eccentricity one of the circles flattened out and headed back toward the raft.
“Who's that?” she called, shutting off her motor. She was so near now that Dexter could see her bathing-suit, which consisted apparently of pink rompers.
The nose of the boat bumped the raft, and as the latter tilted rakishly he was precipitated toward her. With different degrees of interest they recognized each other.
“Aren't you one of those men we played through this afternoon?” she demanded.
He was.
“Well, do you know how to drive a motor-boat? Because if you do I wish you'd drive this one so I can ride on the surf-board behind. My name is Judy Jones”—she favored him with an absurd smirk—rather, what tried to be a smirk, for, twist her mouth as she might, it was not grotesque, it was merely beautiful—“and I live in a house over there on the Island, and in that house there is a man waiting for me. When he drove up at the door I drove out of the dock because he says I'm his ideal.”
There was a fish jumping and a star shining and the lights around the lake were gleaming. Dexter sat beside Judy Jones and she explained how her boat was driven. Then she was in the water, swimming to the floating surfboard with a sinuous crawl. Watching her was without effort to the eye, watching a branch waving or a sea-gull flying. Her arms, burned to butternut, moved sinuously among the dull platinum ripples, elbow appearing first, casting the forearm back with a cadence of falling water, then reaching out and down, stabbing a path ahead.
They moved out into the lake; turning, Dexter saw that she was kneeling on the low rear of the now uptilted surf-board.
“Go faster,” she called, “fast as it'll go.”
Obediently he jammed the lever forward and the white spray mounted at the bow. When he looked around again the girl was standing up on the rushing board, her arms spread wide, her eyes lifted toward the moon.
“It's awful cold,” she shouted. “What's your name?”
He told her.
“Well, why don't you come to dinner to-morrow night?”
His heart turned over like the fly-wheel of the boat, and, for the second time, her casual whim gave a new direction to his life.
現(xiàn)在,當(dāng)然,他當(dāng)初那些冬日夢(mèng)想的性質(zhì)已經(jīng)發(fā)生了變化,也和季節(jié)沒什么關(guān)系了。然而,這些夢(mèng)想給他的心靈帶來(lái)的震撼以及所激發(fā)的他對(duì)美和財(cái)富的向往卻永駐心田。幾年后,這些夢(mèng)想使德克斯特放棄了到州立大學(xué)攻讀商學(xué)課程的機(jī)會(huì),就讀了東部的一所歷史更悠久、更有知名度的學(xué)校。他父親現(xiàn)在生意很紅火,本來(lái)可以為他支付學(xué)費(fèi)的,然而實(shí)際上,他卻在上大學(xué)期間為囊中羞澀而苦惱,而且上這所學(xué)校并不見得有什么好處。不過(guò),千萬(wàn)不要因?yàn)檫@個(gè)孩子的冬日夢(mèng)想一開始就碰巧是一門心思地想當(dāng)有錢人,就覺得他純粹就是個(gè)勢(shì)利眼。他并不貪婪,他并沒有魚與熊掌兼而有之的想法,并不是既想要紙醉金迷的物質(zhì)生活,又想和地位顯赫的人們交往——他只想過(guò)紙醉金迷的物質(zhì)生活。他常??释詈玫臇|西,卻又不知道要來(lái)做什么——有時(shí)候,他會(huì)和一種不可知的神秘力量相碰撞,使他的夢(mèng)想落空,使他的生活陷入不可自拔的境地。這個(gè)故事講述的就是使他的夢(mèng)想落空的其中一種神秘的力量,而非概述他的整個(gè)人生。
他開始掙錢了,真是不可思議。大學(xué)畢業(yè)后,他去了那個(gè)對(duì)黑熊湖青睞有加的富人們聚居的城市。年僅二十三歲的他到那里還不到兩年,人們就常常欣慰地說(shuō):“瞧,這個(gè)小伙子——”他的周圍到處都是富家子弟在冒著風(fēng)險(xiǎn)兜售債券,或者是拿著祖宗的家產(chǎn)做風(fēng)險(xiǎn)投資,或者埋頭研讀二十四卷本的《喬治·華盛頓商業(yè)課程》,而德克斯特卻憑著一張大學(xué)文憑和一張信心十足的嘴巴借了一千塊錢,在一家洗衣店入伙當(dāng)了合伙人。
他加盟的時(shí)候,這家洗衣店還很小,但是德克斯特專門鉆研了英國(guó)人洗滌優(yōu)質(zhì)高爾夫羊毛長(zhǎng)筒襪不縮水的秘訣,一年之內(nèi),他的洗衣店便深得人心,迎合了穿燈籠褲的高爾夫愛好者們的需求。男人們一定要將“喜樂蒂”長(zhǎng)筒襪和毛衣送到他的洗衣店,就像當(dāng)年他們一定要找那個(gè)能幫他們找到高爾夫球的球童一樣。不久,他又開始為這些男人們的太太們洗滌貼身內(nèi)衣——并在這個(gè)城里的不同地方開了五家分店。還不到二十七歲,他就擁有了當(dāng)?shù)刈畲蟮南匆逻B鎖店。就在那時(shí),他賣掉了自己在洗衣店的份額,去了紐約。不過(guò),我們所關(guān)心的,是他剛剛飛黃騰達(dá)的那段日子。
他二十三歲的時(shí)候,哈特先生——是喜歡說(shuō)“瞧,這個(gè)小伙子”的那群白發(fā)老先生中的一個(gè)——給了他一張雪莉島高爾夫俱樂部的周末貴賓卡。于是,有一天,他在貴賓出席名單上簽上了自己的名字。那天下午,哈特先生、桑德伍德先生、T. A.赫德里克先生和他進(jìn)行了高爾夫球四人對(duì)抗賽。他覺得沒有必要告訴大家,就在這同一個(gè)高爾夫球場(chǎng)上,他曾經(jīng)為哈特先生拎過(guò)球袋;也沒有必要告訴大家,他閉著眼睛就知道每一個(gè)障礙、每一道溝槽的位置——有四個(gè)球童跟在他們身后,他看著他們,力圖從他們的音容笑貌和一舉一動(dòng)捕捉到自己當(dāng)年的影子,以縮短橫亙?cè)谒倪^(guò)去與現(xiàn)在之間的鴻溝。
那天真是奇怪,熟悉的往事總是突如其來(lái),又稍縱即逝。這一刻他還感覺自己是個(gè)偶然的闖入者——下一刻,面對(duì)T. A.赫德里克先生,他又有一種高高在上的優(yōu)越感,因?yàn)楹盏吕锟讼壬@個(gè)人不僅討厭,而且連高爾夫球都永遠(yuǎn)打不好。
接著,因?yàn)楣叵壬诘谑骞麕X附近丟了一個(gè)球,牽出了一件大事。正當(dāng)他們?cè)谏畈輩^(qū)的粗草地上找球的時(shí)候,一個(gè)清亮的聲音從后面的山丘上傳來(lái):“閃開!”當(dāng)所有人停止找球,猛然轉(zhuǎn)過(guò)身來(lái)的時(shí)候,一只顏色鮮艷的右擊球突然越過(guò)山丘打在T.A.赫德里克先生的小肚子上。
“天哪!”T. A.赫德里克先生叫道,“應(yīng)該把這些瘋女人從球場(chǎng)上趕出去。越來(lái)越不像話了?!?/p>
山丘上露出一個(gè)人頭,同時(shí)傳來(lái)一個(gè)聲音:
“我們要從這里過(guò)去,介意嗎?”
“你打到我的肚子了!”赫德里克先生歇斯底里地嚷道。
“是嗎?”姑娘走到這群男人身旁,“抱歉,我叫你們‘閃開’了!”
她的眼神漫不經(jīng)心地對(duì)著每個(gè)男人看了一眼——然后便掃視著球道去尋找她丟的那只球了。
“我的球是不是蹦到粗草(1)區(qū)里了?”
難以判斷她是真的有疑問還是含沙射影,另有所指。不過(guò),片刻之后,她就將答案揭曉了,因?yàn)樗拇顧n也爬上山丘了,她興高采烈地大聲叫道:
“找到了!如果不是有東西擋住,我的球就上了那道果嶺了?!?/p>
她擺好姿勢(shì),準(zhǔn)備用五號(hào)鐵頭球桿打短球的時(shí)候,德克斯特正在細(xì)細(xì)地打量她。她穿著一條藍(lán)底方格紋棉布裙,領(lǐng)口和雙肩處都鑲著白邊,更加突出了她那被曬黑了的膚色。她在十一歲時(shí)的故作姿態(tài),單薄的身體,秋波盈盈的眼睛以及向下彎成兩道弧線的嘴唇組合在一起的那種極不協(xié)調(diào)的感覺消失不見了,現(xiàn)在的她看起來(lái)楚楚動(dòng)人。她雙頰上的兩點(diǎn)顏色就像丹青妙手的神來(lái)之筆——這顏色不是“紅潤(rùn)”,它會(huì)流淌,會(huì)釋放暖意,而且時(shí)明時(shí)暗,時(shí)隱時(shí)現(xiàn),仿佛隨時(shí)都會(huì)消退、消失一般。這奇妙的顏色和笑意盈盈的嘴巴無(wú)不讓人覺得,她時(shí)而氣韻流轉(zhuǎn),時(shí)而生機(jī)勃發(fā),時(shí)而激情四射,而且種種感覺連續(xù)循環(huán),不斷變化——她顧盼生輝的眼睛中透著憂傷,只有這一點(diǎn)才將她給人的感覺減弱了幾分。
她不耐煩地?fù)]起五號(hào)鐵頭球桿,毫無(wú)興致地將球擊進(jìn)對(duì)面果嶺上的一個(gè)沙坑里。接著,臉上立刻露出了那種虛假的微笑,漫不經(jīng)心地說(shuō)了聲“謝謝!”,便追了過(guò)去。
“那個(gè)朱迪·瓊斯!”隔壁發(fā)球區(qū)的赫德里克先生說(shuō),他們等待著——等了一會(huì)兒——讓她先打,“她就是欠揍,要是有人照著她的屁股,揍她個(gè)半年,再把她嫁給一個(gè)過(guò)氣的騎兵隊(duì)長(zhǎng)當(dāng)老婆,就萬(wàn)事大吉了?!?/p>
“天哪,她漂亮極了!”剛剛?cè)畾q出頭的桑德伍德先生說(shuō)。
“漂亮極了!”赫德里克先生輕蔑地說(shuō),“她總是一副急著讓人親嘴的樣子!轉(zhuǎn)著母牛似的大眼珠子盯著城里的每一頭小牛犢!”
要是以為赫德里克先生指的是母性的本能,這可值得懷疑。
“如果她好好打,她的高爾夫會(huì)打得很出色的。”桑德伍德先生說(shuō)。
“她沒那體形?!焙盏吕锟讼壬槐菊?jīng)地說(shuō)。
“她的身材很好?!鄙5挛榈孪壬f(shuō)。
“我們應(yīng)該慶幸,她的球打得還不夠快?!惫叵壬驴怂固卣A艘幌卵壅f(shuō)。
將近黃昏的時(shí)候,太陽(yáng)落山了,灑下一片金色的余暉,放射出變幻不定的藍(lán)色和紫色光線,將西部的天空交給了清爽多風(fēng)的夏夜。德克斯特站在高爾夫俱樂部的露臺(tái)上眺望,看著湖面被微風(fēng)吹起的層層漣漪,在滿月下面猶如銀色的糖漿。然后,月亮似乎默默地做出暗示,讓天地萬(wàn)物歸于平靜,于是,湖水變成一個(gè)清澈的游泳池,月色迷離,一片靜謐。德克斯特穿上泳衣,朝最遠(yuǎn)處的充氣碼頭游去,他渾身滴著水,伸展四肢,躺在跳板濕漉漉的帆布上。
一條魚兒跳出水面,一顆星星在閃耀,湖的周圍燈火通明。暗夜中的一個(gè)半島上,一架鋼琴在彈奏去年夏天以及前幾年夏天流行的樂曲——從《請(qǐng)——請(qǐng)》《盧森堡公爵》到《巧克力士兵(無(wú)愁丘八)》——對(duì)德克斯特來(lái)說(shuō),在一望無(wú)際的湖面上,飄蕩著悅耳動(dòng)聽的鋼琴曲,這場(chǎng)景似乎總是妙不可言的,因此他一動(dòng)不動(dòng)地躺在那里,側(cè)耳傾聽。
這會(huì)兒,鋼琴正在演奏一首快樂的曲子,這是五年前的一首新曲子。那時(shí),德克斯特還在讀大學(xué)二年級(jí)。有一次,他們?cè)诋厴I(yè)舞會(huì)上演奏這首曲子,但是那時(shí)他沒錢參加豪華的舞會(huì),只能站在體育館外面傾聽。一聽到這首曲子,他就會(huì)感到一陣猝然的狂喜,他帶著這份狂喜,來(lái)看待他目前的際遇。他真是感到心滿意足,他覺得天遂人愿,日子過(guò)得一帆風(fēng)順,周圍的一切都讓人覺得明媚和燦爛,這種感覺恐怕這輩子也就這么一次了。
一個(gè)灰蒙蒙的長(zhǎng)方形物體突然沿著地面離開了黑漆漆的島嶼,發(fā)出賽艇才有的那種轟鳴聲,在它身后劃開兩條浪花翻滾的白色水帶。眨眼間,一艘汽艇便出現(xiàn)在他的身旁了,嘩嘩的水浪聲淹沒了鋼琴激越而清脆的音樂聲。德克斯特用胳膊支起身體,看到一個(gè)人站在機(jī)輪旁,兩只黑溜溜的眼睛正隔著水面注視著他,兩人漸行漸遠(yuǎn)——接著,汽艇呼嘯而去,在湖心處漫無(wú)目的地繞起大圈子來(lái),繞了一圈又一圈,所到之處水浪席卷而起。同樣奇怪的是,汽艇的速度慢了下來(lái),緩緩地轉(zhuǎn)了一圈后,又駛回了充氣碼頭。
“誰(shuí)在那兒呢?”她關(guān)掉馬達(dá),大聲問道?,F(xiàn)在她離德克斯特非常近,近得他都能看清她穿的泳衣了,顯然她穿的是粉紅色的連體泳衣。
汽艇鼻子撞了一下充氣碼頭,充氣碼頭突然顛簸了一下,使他失去平衡,猛地朝她滾過(guò)來(lái)。他們互相認(rèn)出了對(duì)方,然而他們心思卻各不相同。
“今天下午打高爾夫球的那幾個(gè)人當(dāng)中就有你吧?”她問道。
他做了肯定回答。
“哦,你會(huì)開汽艇嗎?因?yàn)橐悄銜?huì)的話,我希望你來(lái)開,這樣的話,我就可以在后面用沖浪板沖浪了。我叫朱迪·瓊斯——”她賞了他一個(gè)怪怪的傻笑——更確切地說(shuō),她有意做出傻笑的樣子,比如說(shuō),她盡量把嘴歪到一邊,可是這并不讓人感到奇怪,反而可愛極了——“我住在島那邊的一幢房子里,有個(gè)男人在房子里等我??吹剿衍囬_到門口,我就開著汽艇離開碼頭了,因?yàn)樗f(shuō)我是他的目標(biāo)(2)?!?/p>
一條魚兒跳出水面,一顆星星在閃耀,湖的周圍燈火通明。德克斯特坐在朱迪身旁,她教他怎么開她的汽艇。然后,她跳進(jìn)水里,用美人魚一樣的泳姿向漂在水上的沖浪板游去。看著她游泳,對(duì)眼睛來(lái)說(shuō)是一種休息,就像看樹枝在搖曳,海鷗在飛翔。她的胳膊曬得像灰胡桃果一樣,在乳白色的漣漪間優(yōu)雅地?cái)[動(dòng),胳膊肘先露出來(lái),接著小胳膊向后一擺,彈奏出抑揚(yáng)頓挫的落水聲,然后再向前一劃,落入水中,在前面劃出一條水痕。
他們行到湖的深處;德克斯特回頭一看,只見她跪在翹起的沖浪板上,身子懸在沖浪板低下去的那頭。
“開快點(diǎn),”她喊道,“能開多快就開多快?!?/p>
他順從地將操作桿往前猛地一推,船頭便立刻騰起雪白的浪花。當(dāng)他再次回頭看的時(shí)候,這個(gè)姑娘已經(jīng)站在沖浪板上,乘風(fēng)破浪,雙臂舒展,抬頭看著月亮。
“快凍死了,”她大喊,“你叫什么名字?”
他告訴了她。
“哦,明天過(guò)來(lái)吃晚餐吧?”
他的心臟就像汽艇的飛輪一樣跳得飛快,而她這隨隨便便的心血來(lái)潮再次為他的人生指出了一個(gè)全新的方向。
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