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雙語·夜色溫柔 第二篇 第三章

所屬教程:譯林版·夜色溫柔

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2022年05月07日

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About a year and a half before, Doctor Dohmler had some vague correspondence with an American gentleman living in Lausanne, a Mr. Devereux Warren, of the Warren family of Chicago. A meeting was arranged and one day Mr. Warren arrived at the clinic with his daughter Nicole, a girl of sixteen. She was obviously not well and the nurse who was with her took her to walk about the grounds while Mr. Warren had his consultation.

Warren was a strikingly handsome man looking less than forty.He was a fine American type in every way, tall, broad, well-made—“un homme très chic,” as Doctor Dohmler described him to Franz. His large gray eyes were sun-veined from rowing on Lake Geneva, and he had that special air about him of having known the best of this world. The conversation was in German, for it developed that he had been educated at G?ttingen. He was nervous and obviously very moved by his errand.

“Doctor Dohmler, my daughter isn’t right in the head. I’ve had lots of specialists and nurses for her and she’s taken a couple of rest cures but the thing has grown too big for me and I’ve been strongly recommended to come to you.”

“Very well,” said Doctor Dohmler. “Suppose you start at the beginning and tell me everything.”

“There isn’t any beginning, at least there isn’t any insanity in the family that I know of, on either side. Nicole’s mother died when she was eleven and I’ve sort of been father and mother both to her, with the help of governesses—father and mother both to her.”

He was very moved as he said this. Doctor Dohmler saw that there were tears in the corners of his eyes and noticed for the first time that there was whiskey on his breath.

“As a child she was a darling thing—everybody was crazy about her, everybody that came in contact with her. She was smart as a whip and happy as the day is long. She liked to read or draw or dance or play the piano—anything. I used to hear my wife say she was the only one of our children who never cried at night. I’ve got an older girl, too, and there was a boy that died, but Nicole was—Nicole was—Nicole—”

He broke off and Doctor Dohmler helped him.

“She was a perfectly normal, bright, happy child.”

“Perfectly.”

Doctor Dohmler waited. Mr. Warren shook his head, blew a long sigh, glanced quickly at Doctor Dohmler and then at the floor again.

“About eight months ago, or maybe it was six months ago or maybe ten—I try to figure but I can’t remember exactly where we were when she began to do funny things—crazy things. Her sister was the first one to say anything to me about it—because Nicole was always the same to me,” he added rather hastily, as if some one had accused him of being to blame,“—the same loving little girl. The first thing was about a valet.”

“Oh, yes,” said Doctor Dohmler, nodding his venerable head, as if, like Sherlock Holmes, he had expected a valet and only a valet to be introduced at this point.

“I had a valet—been with me for years—Swiss, by the way.” He looked up for Doctor Dohmler’s patriotic approval. “And she got some crazy idea about him. She thought he was making up to her—of course, at the time I believed her and I let him go, but I know now it was all nonsense.”

“What did she claim he had done?”

“That was the first thing—the doctors couldn’t pin her down. She just looked at them as if they ought to know what he’d done. But she certainly meant he’d made some kind of indecent advances to her—she didn’t leave us in any doubt of that.”

“I see.”

“Of course, I’ve read about women getting lonesome and thinking there’s a man under the bed and all that, but why should Nicole get such an idea? She could have all the young men she wanted. We were in Lake Forest—that’s a summer place near Chicago where we have a place—and she was out all day playing golf or tennis with boys. And some of them pretty gone on her at that.”

All the time Warren was talking to the dried old package of Doctor Dohmler, one section of the latter’s mind kept thinking intermittently of Chicago. Once in his youth he could have gone to Chicago as fellow and docent at the university, and perhaps become rich there and owned his own clinic instead of being only a minor shareholder in a clinic. But when he had thought of what he considered his own thin knowledge spread over that whole area, over all those wheat fields, those endless prairies, he had decided against it. But he had read about Chicago in those days, about the great feudal families of Armour, Palmer, Field, Crane, Warren, Swift, and Mc Cormick and many others, and since that time not a few patients had come to him from that stratum of Chicago and New York.

“She got worse,” continued Warren. “She had a fit or something—the things she said got crazier and crazier. Her sister wrote some of them down—” He handed a much-folded piece of paper to the doctor. “Almost always about men going to attack her, men she knew or men on the street—anybody—”

He told of their alarm and distress, of the horrors families go through under such circumstances, of the ineffectual efforts they had made in America, finally of the faith in a change of scene that had made him run the submarine blockade and bring his daughter to Switzerland.

“—on a United States cruiser,” he specified with a touch of hauteur. “It was possible for me to arrange that, by a stroke of luck. And, may I add,” he smiled apologetically, “that as they say: money is no object.”

“Certainly not,” agreed Dohmler dryly.

He was wondering why and about what the man was lying to him. Or, if he was wrong about that, what was the falsity that pervaded the whole room, the handsome figure in tweeds sprawling in his chair with a sportsman’s ease? That was a tragedy out there, in the February day, the young bird with wings crushed somehow, and inside here it was all too thin, thin and wrong.

“I would like—to talk to her—a few minutes now,” said Doctor Dohmler, going into English as if it would bring him closer to Warren.

Afterward when Warren had left his daughter and returned to Lausanne, and several days had passed, the doctor and Franz entered upon Nicole’s card:

Diagnostic: Schizophrénie. Phase aigu? en décroissance. La peur des hommes est un sympt?me de la maladie, et n’est point constitutionnelle…Le pronostic doit rester réservé.

And then they waited with increasing interest as the days passed for Mr. Warren’s promised second visit.

It was slow in coming. After a fortnight Doctor Dohmler wrote. Confronted with further silence he committed what was for those days “une folie,” and telephoned to the Grand H?tel at Vevey. He learned from Mr.Warren’s valet that he was at the moment packing to sail for America. But reminded that the forty francs Swiss for the call would show up on the clinic books, the blood of the Tuileries Guard rose to Doctor Dohmler’s aid and Mr. Warren was got to the phone.

“It is—absolutely necessary—that you come. Your daughter’s health—all depends. I can take no responsibility.”

“But look here, Doctor, that’s just what you’re for. I have a hurry call to go home!”

Doctor Dohmler had never yet spoken to any one so far away but he dispatched his ultimatum so firmly into the phone that the agonized American at the other end yielded. Half an hour after this second arrival on the Zürichsee, Warren had broken down, his fine shoulders shaking with awful sobs inside his easy-fitting coat, his eyes redder than the very sun on Lake Geneva, and they had the awful story.

“It just happened,” he said hoarsely. “I don’t know—I don’t know.”

“After her mother died when she was little she used to come into my bed every morning, sometimes she’d sleep in my bed. I was sorry for the little thing. Oh, after that, whenever we went places in an automobile or a train we used to hold hands. She used to sing to me. We used to say, ‘Now let’s not pay any attention to anybody else this afternoon—let’s just have each other—for this morning you’re mine.’ ” A broken sarcasm came into his voice. “People used to say what a wonderful father and daughter we were—they used to wipe their eyes. We were just like lovers—and then all at once we were lovers—and ten minutes after it happened I could have shot myself—except I guess I’m such a Goddamned degenerate I didn’t have the nerve to do it.”

“Then what?” said Doctor Dohmler, thinking again of Chicago and of a mild pale gentleman with a pince-nez who had looked him over in Zurich thirty years before. “Did this thing go on?”

“Oh, no! She almost—she seemed to freeze up right away. She’d just say, ‘Never mind, never mind, Daddy. It doesn’t matter. Never mind.’ ”

“There were no consequences?”

“No.” He gave one short convulsive sob and blew his nose several times. “Except now there’re plenty of consequences.”

As the story concluded Dohmler sat back in the focal armchair of the middle class and said to himself sharply, “Peasant!”—it was one of the few absolute worldly judgments that he had permitted himself for twenty years. Then he said:

“I would like for you to go to a hotel in Zurich and spend the night and come see me in the morning.”

“And then what?”

Doctor Dohmler spread his hands wide enough to carry a young pig.

“Chicago,” he suggested.

大約一年半之前,多姆勒醫(yī)生曾和一個住在洛桑的美國紳士泛泛地通過幾封信。此人就是芝加哥沃倫家族的德弗魯·沃倫先生。他們商定見一次面。一天,沃倫先生帶著他十六歲的女兒尼科爾來到了診所。小姑娘顯然有點不正常,陪同她一道來的護士帶她到院子里散步,而沃倫先生則和醫(yī)生進行交談。

沃倫是個美男子,長得一表人才,看上去還不到四十歲。他舉手投足都有著濃濃的美國味,高個子,寬肩膀,身材勻稱——多姆勒醫(yī)生對弗朗茨形容他是個“英俊瀟灑的人”。由于常在日內(nèi)瓦湖蕩舟,在太陽下暴曬,沃倫那雙灰色大眼睛的眼角生出了皺紋。他身上有一種獨特的氣質(zhì),似乎人情世故無不洞悉。他們用德語交談——沃倫曾在哥廷根讀過書。說話時,他看上去有些緊張,顯然此次來訪對他有不小的觸動。

“多姆勒醫(yī)生,我女兒的腦子不太正常。我給她請過許多專家和護士,她也接受過幾次療養(yǎng),但問題越來越嚴重,叫我不知如何是好了。有人極力建議我來找你?!敝宦犓f道。

“很好,”多姆勒醫(yī)生說,“請你從頭開始,把一切都告訴我吧?!?/p>

“真不知從何說起。至少,在我和她母親兩家是沒有精神病人的。她十一歲的時候,她的母親便去世了,所以我又當?shù)之攱?,幸好有家庭女教師助我一臂之力,才使得她沒有缺失父愛和母愛?!?/p>

他說這些時,情緒很激動。多姆勒醫(yī)生看到他眼角閃著淚光,也就是在這時聞到他呼出的氣息中帶著酒味。

“她小時候十分乖巧,所有的人都喜歡她,可以說是人見人愛。她聰明伶俐,整天快快樂樂的,不是看書、繪畫,就是跳舞、彈琴,總是閑不住。我常聽見我妻子說,在我們的孩子當中,只有她夜間從來不哭不鬧。我還有一個大女兒,另外有過一個男孩,去世了,而尼科爾……尼科爾……尼科爾……”

說到這里,他再也說不下去了。多姆勒醫(yī)生接住他的話頭說:“那時她是個十分正常的孩子,無憂無慮,幸??鞓?。”

“對極了。”

多姆勒醫(yī)生等著他朝下說。沃倫先生搖搖頭,長長地嘆了口氣,飛快朝多姆勒醫(yī)生看了一眼,便又盯著地面說道:“大約八個月前(也許是六個月前或十個月前吧)——現(xiàn)在讓我說,我也記不清是什么時候了,她開始有了一些怪異的行為,做出了一些瘋狂的事。最初是她姐姐跟我說起的,因為我覺得尼科爾跟以往沒什么兩樣?!彼掖业亟忉尩溃路鹩姓l在責怪他,要他負責似的,“她還是那個可愛的小姑娘。最初發(fā)生的一件事和一個男仆有關?!?/p>

“哦,一定是這樣的?!倍嗄防蔗t(yī)生說道,還莊重地點了點頭,儼然就像料事如神的夏洛克·福爾摩斯,一到關鍵時刻就料定會有一個男仆出現(xiàn)——只會是男仆,不可能是其他人。

“我家有個男仆,跟我多年了……順便說一下,他是瑞士人?!蔽謧愊壬f完,抬頭看了看多姆勒醫(yī)生,覺得對方可能會對自己的同胞表示同情,“對于這個男仆,她產(chǎn)生了一種奇怪的想法,以為對方在勾引她……當然,那時我相信了她的話,叫那個男仆走了?,F(xiàn)在我知道她的話都是瞎說?!?/p>

“她說過那男仆對她有什么舉動嗎?”

“這是第一個難點……醫(yī)生們問她也問不明白。醫(yī)生一問,她就用那種目光望著醫(yī)生,就好像他們應該知道那個男仆的行徑似的。她一口咬定男仆對她有不規(guī)矩的表現(xiàn),對此她不允許任何人存疑?!?/p>

“是嗎?”

“當然,我在書上也看到過這樣的情節(jié),說有的女子孤寂難耐,就老覺得床下藏著個男人什么的??墒?,尼科爾怎么會有這樣的念頭呢?那么多小伙子,還不都任她挑選!我們曾在湖邊森林區(qū)住過——那是一個靠近芝加哥的消夏地,我們在那兒有一幢別墅。那時,她每天都出去同男孩子打高爾夫球或者網(wǎng)球。有幾個男孩對她動了心,愛得不行?!?/p>

沃倫說話時一直盯著多姆勒醫(yī)生那蒼老、皺得像樹皮一樣的臉,而后者卻神游他方,時不時地回憶自己的青春歲月。風華正茂之時,他作為大學的研究員和講師曾有機會去芝加哥發(fā)展,也許在那里可以發(fā)財致富,擁有自己的診所,而不只是在一家診所里當個小股東。可是,由于當時想到自己對那片廣袤的地區(qū),對那兒一望無際的麥田和大草原一無所知,便放棄了這種打算。不過,在那些日子里,他讀了一些有關芝加哥的書籍,了解了阿穆爾、帕爾默、菲爾德、克蘭、沃倫、斯威夫特、麥考密克及其他許多美國名門望族。打那以后,他沒少接診來自芝加哥和紐約上流社會的病人。

“后來,她的情況急轉直下,”沃倫接著說,“她會沒來由地發(fā)脾氣,說出的話越來越離譜,瘋瘋癲癲的。她姐姐把有些話用筆記了下來……”他把一張疊了好幾層的紙遞給了醫(yī)生,“這些話無非就是說有男人要騷擾她——一些男子是她認識的,一些則素昧平生,反正什么樣的人都有……”

接下來,沃倫講述了他們家的恐慌和憂慮,講述了他們在這種狀況下提心吊膽的心情,說他們在美國所做的努力全都宣告無效,最終才覺得換換環(huán)境也許會峰回路轉。于是,他沖破潛艇的封鎖,帶著女兒到了瑞士。

“我們是搭乘一艘美國巡洋艦來的?!彼悬c得意地特地提了一句。“我們得以成行,靠的是運氣。還可以補充一句,”他略帶歉意地笑了笑說,“正如人們所言:有錢能使鬼推磨?!?/p>

“這是當然的。”多姆勒干巴巴地隨聲附和道。

他感到眼前的這個男人在撒謊,可是不知他為什么要撒謊以及撒的是什么謊。難道他的感覺是錯誤的?可是,這個身穿花呢外套的英俊男子像個運動員一樣悠閑,懶散地坐在椅子上,為什么屋子里就彌漫著一股虛假的氣息呢?陽春二月里,一只幼鳥不知怎的折斷了翅膀,令人唏噓!而這里卻在演戲,內(nèi)容過于虛假,叫人感到不對勁兒!

“我想跟她談一談,過一會兒再說吧?!倍嗄防蔗t(yī)生換上了英語,仿佛這么一來可以拉近他同沃倫先生的距離似的。

后來,沃倫把女兒丟下,自己回洛桑了。幾天之后,多姆勒醫(yī)生和弗朗茨開始研究尼科爾的病歷:

診斷:精神分裂癥。處于急性發(fā)作期。其癥狀是對男子有恐懼感,但這種恐懼并不是先天的……該診斷請予以保留。

沃倫先生答應過幾天再來,可是左等右等也不見他露面,使得他們倆越來越焦急。

由于遲遲不見他來,兩個星期后,多姆勒醫(yī)生給他寫了封信,然而卻如石沉大海。無奈之下,他做了件在當時看來簡直是“冒傻氣”的事情——他給沃倫先生在沃韋小城暫住的格蘭德旅館掛了一個電話。他從沃倫先生的仆人那兒獲悉,沃倫先生正在收拾行李,打算回美國。一想到打這次電話所花的四十瑞士法郎要記在診所的賬上,多姆勒醫(yī)生心頭涌起一股英雄血,非要沃倫先生來聽電話不可。

他對沃倫說道:“你必須來一趟——這是絕對有必要的!你來或不來,這關系著你女兒的健康。我不能擔這個責任?!?/p>

“可是請聽我說,醫(yī)生,你們醫(yī)生的責任就是給病人治病呀。我有急事要回國去!”

多姆勒醫(yī)生還從未隔著這么遠跟人說過話,但他對著話筒發(fā)出了最后通牒,語氣非常堅定,迫使電話那端的美國人即便再苦惱也只好讓步了。沃倫再次來到了蘇黎世湖區(qū),僅僅半小時之后,精神就崩潰了。只見他身穿裁剪合體的外套,傷心地啜泣不止,漂亮的雙肩一抖一抖的,眼圈比日內(nèi)瓦湖上方的太陽還要紅。他講出了一段駭人聽聞的往事……

“我不知道……真不知道怎么能出那樣的事……”他聲音嘶啞地說。

“她母親去世后,她的年齡還很小。每天早晨她都鉆到我的床上來,有時她就睡在我的床上。我心里很可憐這個沒有母親的孩子。后來,每當我們坐汽車或乘火車去旅行,我們總是手拉著手。她常常唱歌給我聽。我們常常說這樣的話:‘今天下午就咱們倆在一起好啦,不要管別人了……’‘今天上午,你屬于我……’”說到這里,他哽咽的聲音里出現(xiàn)了自我嘲諷的語氣,“人們常說我們是一對多么好的父女啊,還為此感動得落淚。我們倆就像一對情侶,后來突然間竟做出了情侶間的那種事。事情發(fā)生后沒十分鐘,我悔恨交加,恨不得開槍打死我自己。可是,我他媽的是個大軟蛋,沒有勇氣那么做!”

“后來呢?”多姆勒醫(yī)生嘴上這么問著,心里卻又想起了芝加哥,想起了一位臉色有些蒼白、戴著夾鼻眼鏡的先生——三十年前,那位先生在蘇黎世曾盯著他上下打量,“這事又發(fā)生過嗎?”

“哦,沒有!她幾乎……她當時像是都呆住了,只是不住地說:‘別擔心,別擔心,爸爸,這沒關系。別擔心?!?/p>

“沒有產(chǎn)生什么后果嗎?”

“沒有?!彼欢哙?,抽泣了一聲,連著擤了幾次鼻子,“可是,現(xiàn)在卻出現(xiàn)了許多后遺癥?!?/p>

聽完對方的講述,多姆勒醫(yī)生坐在中產(chǎn)階級家庭中常見的那種擺在屋子中間的扶手椅上,身子向后一靠,心里暗暗罵了一聲:“畜生!”二十年來,他很少用這般粗俗的話說別人。末了,他對沃倫建議道:“你最好去蘇黎世城里的一家旅館住上一夜,明天上午再來見我?!?/p>

“往后怎么辦?”

多姆勒醫(yī)生把雙手一攤,兩條胳膊張開,足以抱住一只小豬,說道:“回芝加哥?!?/p>

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