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> 在線聽力 > 有聲讀物 > 世界名著 > 譯林版·一個(gè)陌生女人的來(lái)信:茨威格中短篇小說選 >  第10篇

雙語(yǔ)·灼人的秘密 月光中的蹤跡

所屬教程:譯林版·一個(gè)陌生女人的來(lái)信:茨威格中短篇小說選

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2022年04月29日

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A waiter brought up Edgar’s supper on a tray, made the boy as comfortable as possible, and then withdrew, closing the door behind him and turning the key in the lock. “Insufferable,” thought the boy, springing to his feet. To be bolted in as though he were a wild beast was too great an indignity. Could his mother really have brought this degradation upon him? His mind darkened as he meditated.

“I wonder what can be going on down there while I’m caged in this room. What are they talking about? Will their secret be disclosed, when I’m not there to share it with them? It’s awful to feel there’s a secret in the air, always when I’m with grown-ups. They shut me out, especially at night and talk in whispers if I drop in and take them unawares. I feel I’m on the track of their secret, and yet I just miss guessing what it’s all about. This isn’t the first time I’ve tried to understand. Those books I sneaked from Dad’s table and shelves! Only the trouble was that even when I had read them from cover to cover I never understood what they were driving at. There’s something that escapes me every time. How Emma, our parlourmaid, laughed at me when I begged her to explain a passage! Oh, I think it’s dreadful to be a child full of curiosity and not daring to ask questions. Grown-ups merely grin, and look down on a fellow as if he were a fool. But something tells me I’ll soon know everything there is to know. I’m not going to give in until I do....”

He strained his ears to catch a possible footstep. But only the breeze murmured in the foliage, swaying the branches and breaking the moonbeams into a thousand facets of light scattered among the shadows.

“They must be up to something they are ashamed of, otherwise why should they trouble to tell me such idiotic lies? I expect they’re having a good laugh at getting rid of me. Never fear, my turn will come. I’ve been a silly ass to allow them to lock me in. Ought to have stuck to them and never let them out of my sight. Grownups aren’t very clever at hiding what they are doing, and they’d be sure to give themselves away before long. They fancy we children go to sleep, and they forget that we know all kinds of dodges so as to overhear what they say and see what they do. We’re not so stupid as they imagine. When Aunt Clara had a baby two months ago they pretended to be ever so much surprised. But they had known about its coming ages before, and I knew too, because I heard them talking. This time also I’ll find out what Mother and the baron are hiding. I wish the doors were transparent so that I could watch them when they thought no one could see. I wonder if it would be a good move to ring for the chambermaid? She’d have to unlock the door to ask what I wanted. Then, before she knew what I was doing, I’d slip out...” No better not. That might give me away and show the servants how meanly I’m treated. No one must know, it would hurt too much, I couldn’t stand it. But to-morrow...”

A woman’s laugh floated up to him on the spring air, was that his mother? It might well be. She had plenty of reasons for being gay. Had she not locked him up, small and defenceless as he was, got rid of him thrown him into a corner like a bundle of dirty clothes? Stealthily creeping to the window, he peered out. A couple of girls were strolling by with their young men—no one else.

As he leaned on the sill, he noticed how close the window was to the ground; and, before he realized what he was doing, he had taken the plunge and landed in a bed of flowers. The slight noise he made passed unnoticed. He was free. Now he could go and spy upon his foes. In two days, this attitude of spying had become second nature to him who hitherto had been so candid and innocent. Careful to avoid making a sound, he prowled round the hotel, his heart beating furiously lest he should be discovered. Here was the dining-room. With the utmost precaution he pressed his face close to a window-pane: The pair were not there. He passed from window to window, not daring to enter the building in case he should stumble upon them in a passage or on the stair. He failed in his search and was in despair. Then, of a sudden, he saw two shadows issuing from a side door. He ducked so as not to be discovered. Yes, it was his mother accompanied by the inevitable baron.“Just in time,” thought the boy. “What are they talking about? Wish this rotten wind wouldn’t make such a row among the trees!” His mother laughed audibly. He had never heard her laugh like that; it sounded shrill, a trifle excited; most peculiar. Though Edgar felt alarmed at this unusual mirth, he was likewise reassured for, if she felt merry, there certainly could be no immediate danger threatening her. Nor could the matter the twain had in hand be anything of grave importance. Why, then, were they at such pains to hide it from him? Edgar felt rather disappointed at the thought that the secret was not something big, and worthy of the trouble he was taking to unravel it.

Whither could they be going at this hour of the night? High up in the sky a strong wind must be blowing for the clouds were racing by, obscuring the moon. So dark was it at times that one could not see the path, and then all at once the earth was radiant with clarity, and a silver sheen lay on leaf and blade. How strange, how eerie was the interplay of light and shade—like a nymph unveiling and veiling her beauties ere you could feast your eyes on her nakedness. Again the moon shone out, and Edgar saw two silhouettes—or, rather, one only, so closely were the couple walking together—making towards the forest. Why? Whither? The wind was busy among the firs.

“I’ll follow,” thought the child. “They’ll never hear my footsteps in such a din.”

Thrice blessed wind thus to muffle his movements! He slid from tree to tree, from shadow to shadow. Thrice cursed wind thus to muffle their words so that he could not hear what the enemy was talking about. If he once caught the subject of their conversation, he felt convinced that the secret would be his.

Unconcernedly, Frau Blumental and her cavalier went on their way, little suspecting the presence of a spy in their wake. They were entirely happy, and were lost to everything but the splendour of the night and their own growing interest in one another. How could they know that every step they took was dogged, and that eager eyes were watching them with hatred and curiosity?

Suddenly they stopped in the middle of the path. Edgar pressed his frail body against a tree. He gasped with anxiety. “Suppose they turn back, and Mother doesn’t find me in my room? She’ll guess I’ve been watching her, and then she’ll be so wary that I shall never discover their secret.” Happily at that moment the clouds scurried by, the moon shone, and the clearing was flooded with light. The boy saw that the baron was trying to entice the lady into a smaller and darker path which led up a little ravine. Edgar’s mother seemed to be saying “No,” but Sternfeldt urged her to consent. Why? What did he want of her? The books Edgar had read told of “Murders under cover of darkness”, of “Abduction”, of crimes innumerable. Could the baron be planning to kill her? Then here was the explanation, this was Sternfeldt had wanted to be alone with Mother, this was the reason he had induced Mother to turn the key on her own son. Should he seek help? Should he cry, “Murder”? He could not utter the syllables, for his lips were parched with excitement. So intense was his emotion that he found it difficult to keep his footing. He swayed; and, in order to steady himself, seized hold of a branch. It snapped with a loud report.

The two swung round in alarm and stared into the gloom. Edgar stood motionless, hardly daring to breathe. The silence of death lay upon the forest, for neither wind nor creature stirred. Then the woman said:

“Let us turn back.”

How scared she seemed. The baron, too, was frightened and fell in with her wishes. Linked in a close embrace they retraced their steps, slowly, engrossed in their own thoughts. Edgar, profiting by their absorption ran on all fours through the undergrowth, and arrived breathless at the hotel. Turning the key, he entered his room, undressed, and got into bed. He lay quiet for a while, recovering. Then he got up and went to the window, determined to witness their return. They must have walked very, very slowly. At long last he saw their shadows. They looked ghostly in the moonlight. Was the baron really a murderer in disguise? And had he, Edgar, prevented the bloody deed by breaking a dried and rotted branch? Again the moon shone brightly. Edgar had never seen an expression of such rapture on his mother’s face before. But the baron looked wooden and disappointed—probably because his wicked scheme had come to naught, thought the boy.

As they drew near to the hotel they wrenched themselves apart. Would they glance up? No! “They have quite forgotten me!” Then with a mixture of triumph and bitterness Edgar muttered: “But I haven’t forgotten you. You may fancy I am asleep or that I simply don’t exist at all. Just wait; I’ll show you how mistaken you are. I’m not going to let you out of my sight until I have snatched your secret from you. I’ll keep awake all right.”

The two stepped into the doorway. Again their shadows were united to form but one dark patch. Then the moonlight invaded the courtyard, until it looked like a field of untrodden snow.

侍者把晚餐給埃德加送到房間里,隨后就鎖上了門。門上的鎖在他身后嘎嘎地響著。孩子憤怒地跳了起來(lái)。很明顯,這是受他母親的指使,把他像一頭兇狠的野獸似的關(guān)了起來(lái)。他心里產(chǎn)生了一個(gè)可怕的念頭。

“把我關(guān)在這里,下面在干什么呢?現(xiàn)在他們兩人在商量些什么?如果到頭來(lái)這個(gè)秘密就在那兒,難道我就把它錯(cuò)過?噢,一旦我在大人們中間,我就能到處覺察到這個(gè)秘密,在夜里,大人們把門關(guān)起來(lái),把這個(gè)秘密沉浸在輕言絮語(yǔ)中,要是我能偷偷地進(jìn)到里面,這巨大的秘密就在面前;幾天來(lái)我已經(jīng)接近了它,可就是還一直沒有把它抓住!從前,為了捉住它,我什么都干過!那時(shí)候我從爸爸的書桌里偷了些書出來(lái),這些奇奇怪怪的事情書里都有,只是我不懂。這個(gè)秘密一定貼著個(gè)什么封條,要想找到它,得先把封條揭去,這封條也許是在我身上,也許是在別人身上。那時(shí)我問過別的女仆,求她把書里這些地方給我講一講,但是她把我嘲笑了一頓。做個(gè)孩子太可怕了,好奇心重,可是不許問別人,在大人面前總是顯得很可笑,好像是些傻瓜和廢物似的。但我會(huì)把這個(gè)秘密弄清楚的,我感到現(xiàn)在很快就會(huì)知道了。我已經(jīng)掌握了一部分,不把它全部弄到手,決不罷休!”

他諦聽是否有人來(lái)。外面,微風(fēng)吹拂著樹林,把枝條之間靜如明鏡一樣的月光碎成無(wú)數(shù)搖曳不定的小片。

“他們倆想干的一定不會(huì)是什么好事,要不他們干嗎要編造那么卑劣的謊言來(lái)把我支開。他倆現(xiàn)在肯定在嘲笑我。這兩個(gè)該詛咒的到底把我甩開了,但是最后笑的是我。我真太蠢了,讓人關(guān)在這里,而不去緊緊盯住他們,窺視他倆的一舉一動(dòng),倒反讓人關(guān)在這里。我知道,大人往往都不怎么謹(jǐn)慎,他倆一定會(huì)露出馬腳的。他們總認(rèn)為我們孩子還很小,晚上睡得死死的。可他們忘了,我們也會(huì)假裝睡覺而去偷聽,我們也能裝傻,而實(shí)際上十分聰明。前不久,我的姑姑生了孩子,其實(shí)這事大人早就知道了,可是在我面前卻裝作驚奇的樣子,仿佛感到很意外似的。但是我也是知道的,因?yàn)槲衣犓麄冋f過,那是幾星期前一個(gè)晚上,他們以為我睡著了就談?wù)撈饋?lái)。這次我也要讓他們驚訝一下。這兩個(gè)卑鄙的家伙。噢,現(xiàn)在他倆一定自以為很保險(xiǎn),我要是能穿門而出,前去偵察,暗地里注視他倆,那該多好?,F(xiàn)在我也許該按鈴吧?這樣女仆就會(huì)來(lái)開門,問我要什么東西。或者我吆喝罵人,摔碎餐具,那他們也會(huì)來(lái)開門的。這當(dāng)兒我就可以溜走,去竊聽他倆說話。不行,我不這樣做。不能讓別人看見他們對(duì)待我是如何卑鄙。我以此為驕傲。明天我再向他們算賬。”

樓下傳來(lái)一個(gè)女人的笑聲。埃德加一怔,這可能是他母親。她倒是有理由發(fā)笑,有理由嘲弄他,一個(gè)小孩,一個(gè)走投無(wú)路的人,要是他讓人覺得累贅的話,就把他鎖在房間里,像扔團(tuán)濕衣服一樣,往墻角一甩了事。他小心翼翼地把頭探出窗外。不是,不是她,是一個(gè)他不認(rèn)識(shí)的放肆的姑娘在和一個(gè)小伙子逗趣。

就在這時(shí),他看到窗戶離地面并不很高。不知不覺他起了一個(gè)念頭:跳出去,現(xiàn)在他倆肯定自以為很保險(xiǎn),我正好去偷聽。這個(gè)決定使他興奮得全身發(fā)熱,仿佛他已經(jīng)把這個(gè)童年時(shí)代閃閃發(fā)光的、顯得十分巨大的秘密掌握在手里了似的。“跳出去,跳出去!”他顫抖著。毫無(wú)危險(xiǎn),沒有人從這里走過去。于是他就跳了下去。只有鵝卵石發(fā)出輕微的聲響,沒有一個(gè)人聽到。

這兩天,躡手躡腳和窺伺已經(jīng)成了他生活中的一大樂趣。他輕輕提起腳步繞著旅館走,小心翼翼地避開燈光的強(qiáng)烈反照。這時(shí)他有一種快感,這快感同因恐懼而引起的輕微戰(zhàn)栗混在一起。他先是謹(jǐn)慎地把面頰緊貼在餐廳的玻璃上向里張望。他倆常坐的位置上是空的。隨后他逐個(gè)窺視各扇窗戶。他不敢進(jìn)旅館去,因?yàn)榕略谶^道中間湊巧碰上他們。到處都找不到他倆。他感到絕望了。正在這時(shí),他看到兩個(gè)影子從門里閃了出來(lái)——他往回一縮,蹲在暗處——他母親和那個(gè)形影不離的伴侶出來(lái)了。來(lái)得正是時(shí)候。他們?cè)谡勑┦裁??他無(wú)法了解。他們說得很輕,風(fēng)在樹林里變得不安起來(lái)。忽然飄來(lái)一陣十分清晰的笑聲,這是他母親的聲音。這笑聲他從來(lái)沒有聽見過,笑得少有的刺耳,像是被胳肢、被刺激引起的神經(jīng)質(zhì)的笑聲。他感到這笑聲很陌生,心里大為驚愕。她在笑。那就是說沒有什么危險(xiǎn)的事了,不是什么要對(duì)他隱瞞的大事,不是什么了不起的事。埃德加感到有些失望。

但是他們?yōu)槭裁匆x開旅館?現(xiàn)在夜都深了,他們到哪兒去呢?風(fēng)在高空中揮動(dòng)著巨大的翅膀,夜空剛才還很潔凈,充溢著月光的清輝,現(xiàn)在變得昏暗了,無(wú)形的手撒開了黑色的幕布,有時(shí)把月亮包裹起來(lái),使夜變得漆黑一團(tuán),幾乎連路都難以辨認(rèn)。當(dāng)月亮重又露出來(lái)時(shí),一切又都被灑上光輝。銀色的月光冷冷地瀉在周圍的山川樹木上。光和影之間進(jìn)行著神秘莫測(cè)的游戲,像是一個(gè)女人,時(shí)而赤身裸體,時(shí)而裹著衣服在嬉戲,是那樣的誘人。正在這時(shí),四周的景物又赤裸裸呈現(xiàn)出明亮的胴體:埃德加從側(cè)面看到路上有兩個(gè)移動(dòng)著的黑色身影,或者不如說是一個(gè)身影,因?yàn)樗麄z貼得那么緊,仿佛兩人心里害怕而緊緊擠在一起似的??涩F(xiàn)在他們兩個(gè)要去哪里?松樹在呻吟,林中像是充滿了忙碌和喧囂,宛如在圍捕野獸?!拔腋麄?,”埃德加想,“風(fēng)刮得這么緊,林中這樣響,他倆不會(huì)聽到我的腳步聲?!痹谒麄冄刂旅鎸拸V明亮的大路向前走去時(shí),埃德加在上面的林中輕巧地從一棵樹跳向另一棵樹,從一個(gè)樹影躍向另一個(gè)樹影。他無(wú)情地緊緊跟蹤他們。他感謝風(fēng)兒,它使別人聽不到他的腳步聲;他咒罵風(fēng)兒,它老是把他們說的話刮到遠(yuǎn)處。要是他能聽到他們的談話就好了,哪怕是只聽到一次,那他肯定就可以知道這個(gè)秘密。

下面的兩個(gè)人信步走去,毫無(wú)所知。他倆陶醉在這廣闊、昏亂的夜色之中,在不斷增長(zhǎng)的激動(dòng)中忘卻了自己。沒有任何預(yù)感來(lái)警告他們:上面樹葉濃密的暗處有人在跟蹤著他們的每一個(gè)腳步,有兩只眼睛死死地盯著他們,充滿了仇恨和好奇。

突然他倆停住了。埃德加也立即停住了腳步,緊緊貼在一棵樹上。一種劇烈的恐懼向他襲來(lái)。要是他倆現(xiàn)在往回走,比他先回到旅館,要是他不能及時(shí)趕回自己的房間,母親發(fā)現(xiàn)房間是空的,那該怎么辦?這樣一來(lái)一切都完了,他們會(huì)知道他暗地里窺視他們來(lái)著,他就再?zèng)]有希望從他們那里索取這個(gè)秘密了。但是他們二人猶豫不決,顯然在爭(zhēng)論什么。幸好有月亮,他一切都看得清清楚楚。男爵指著一條昏黑狹窄的小路,這條小路通往下面的山谷,在那里月亮不像這條路上那樣傾瀉著它的全部光華,而只是透過密林滲出點(diǎn)滴的光亮和稀疏的光線?!八蓡嵋较逻吶ィ俊卑5录映榇ち艘幌?。他母親好像說“不”,可是另一個(gè)卻在說服她。埃德加從他的手勢(shì)上看得出他是多么緊迫。孩子害怕了。這個(gè)人想向他母親要什么?這個(gè)混蛋為什么要把她領(lǐng)到暗處去?突然他從自己所讀過的那些書里——這些書就是他的整個(gè)世界——生動(dòng)地記起了謀殺、拐騙和可怕的犯罪。一定的,他想謀殺她,正是為此他才擺脫開他,把她單獨(dú)引到這里。他該呼救嗎?殺人犯!呼救聲剛要沖出喉嚨,但是嘴角卻發(fā)干,喊不出聲來(lái)。他的神經(jīng)由于激動(dòng)繃得緊緊的,使他幾乎站立不穩(wěn)。由于害怕跌倒,他趕緊伸手去抓一個(gè)把手——這時(shí)咔嚓一聲,他雙手折斷了一根樹枝。

那兩個(gè)人驚愕地轉(zhuǎn)過身來(lái),凝望著暗處。埃德加一聲不響地靠在樹上,胳膊緊緊貼在一起,矮小的身體深深地埋在樹影之中。死一樣的寂靜。但他倆像是受驚了?!拔覀兓厝?。”他聽到他母親說,聲音顯得畏葸膽怯。男爵本人顯然也不安起來(lái),他順從了。兩人慢慢地往回走,相互靠得緊緊的。他倆內(nèi)心的惶恐就是埃德加的幸福。他用四肢在林中爬行,雙手都被劃出血來(lái),到了森林的盡頭,他就全速往回跑去,氣喘吁吁,到了旅館,三腳兩步就蹦上了樓,鎖門的鑰匙幸好在門上插著,他開了門,沖進(jìn)房里,躺到床上。他得休息幾分鐘,因?yàn)樾脑谛靥爬飫×业靥鴦?dòng)著,像是鐘舌在敲響的鐘壁上那樣跳動(dòng)不已。

隨后他膽子大了起來(lái),靠在窗旁,等著他們兩人的到來(lái)。好長(zhǎng)時(shí)間過去了。他們一定走得很慢,很慢。他從窗框的暗影里小心地窺視著?,F(xiàn)在他們慢慢地走來(lái)了,月光照著他們的衣服。在這綠光中他們看起來(lái)像幽靈似的。男爵真是殺人兇手嗎?他剛才阻止了一件多么可怕的事啊,這個(gè)想法使他感到既慰藉又恐怖。他望著他們粉白色的臉,看得清清楚楚。母親的臉上流露出一種欣喜的表情,這是他從沒有見過的,但男爵卻顯得煩惱和不悅。很明顯,這是因?yàn)樗囊鈭D落空了。

他倆緊緊挨在一起,一直到旅館門前他倆的身體才互相分開。是不是他們會(huì)朝樓上看?沒有,他倆誰(shuí)也沒有往上看?!八麄儼盐彝浟??!焙⒆酉?。他懷著一股狂暴的怒氣,同時(shí)又感到一種隱隱的勝利的喜悅,“我可沒有忘記你們。你們以為我睡了,或者在這個(gè)世界上不存在了,但是你們會(huì)看到你們的錯(cuò)誤的,我要監(jiān)視你們的一舉一動(dòng),直到從他這個(gè)混蛋手中把這個(gè)秘密弄出來(lái)為止。這可怕的秘密,它使我無(wú)法入睡。我一定要粉碎你們的同盟。我不睡?!?/p>

那兩個(gè)人慢慢地進(jìn)了大門?,F(xiàn)在當(dāng)他倆一前一后往里走去時(shí),兩個(gè)投在地上的黑影又倏地糾纏在一起,變成了一條黑色的長(zhǎng)帶消逝在光亮的門內(nèi)。樓前的空地在月光中潔白明亮,像鋪滿白雪的遼闊草地。

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