雙語·面紗 第五十五章

But a day or two later Kitty made an unforeseen discovery.

She went to the convent as usual and set about her first work of seeing that the children were washed and dressed. Since the nuns held firmly that the night air was harmful, the atmosphere in the dormitory was close and fetid. After the freshness of the morning it always made Kitty a little uncomfortable and she hastened to open such windows as would. But to-day she felt all of a sudden desperately sick and with her head swimming she stood at the window trying to compose herself. It had never been as bad as this before. Then nausea overwhelmed her and she vomited. She gave a cry so that the children were frightened, and the older girl who was helping her ran up and, seeing Kitty white and trembling, stopped short with an exclamation. Cholera! The thought flashed through Kitty's mind and then a deathlike feeling came over her; she was seized with terror, she struggled for a moment against the night that seemed agonisingly to run through her veins; she felt horribly ill; and then darkness.

When she opened her eyes she did not at first know where she was. She seemed to be lying on the floor and, moving her head slightly, she thought that there was a pillow under it. She could not remember. The Mother Superior was kneeling by her side, holding smelling salts to her nose, and Sister St. Joseph was looking at her. Then it came back. Cholera! She saw the consternation on the nuns' faces. Sister St. Joseph looked huge and her outline was blurred. Once more terror overwhelmed her.

“Oh, Mother, Mother,” she sobbed. “Am I going to die? I don't want to die.”

“Of course you're not going to die,” said the Mother Superior.

She was quite composed and there was even amusement in her eyes.

“But it's cholera. Where's Walter? Has he been sent for? Oh, Mother, Mother.”

She burst into a flood of tears. The Mother Superior gave her hand and Kitty seized it as though it were a hold upon the life she feared to lose.

“Come, come, my dear child, you mustn't be so silly. It's not cholera or anything of the kind.”

“Where's Walter?”

“Your husband is much too busy to be troubled. In five minutes you'll be perfectly well.”

Kitty looked at her with staring, harassed eyes. Why did she take it so calmly? It was cruel.

“Keep perfectly quiet for a minute,” said the Mother Superior.“There is nothing to alarm yourself about.”

Kitty felt her heart beat madly. She had grown so used to the thought of cholera that it had ceased to seem possible that she could catch it. Oh, the fool she had been! She knew she was going to die. She was frightened. The girls brought in a long rattan chair and placed it by the window.

“Come, let us lift you,” said the Mother Superior. “You will be more comfortable on the chaise longue. Do you think you can stand?”

She put her hands under Kitty's arms and Sister St. Joseph helped her to her feet. She sank exhausted into the chair.

“I had better shut the window,” said Sister St. Joseph. “The early morning air cannot be good for her.”

“No, no,” said Kitty. “Please leave it open.”

It gave her confidence to see the blue sky. She was shaken, but certainly she began to feel better. The two nuns looked at her for a moment in silence, and Sister St. Joseph said something to the Mother Superior which she could not understand. Then the Mother Superior sat on the side of the chair and took her hand.

“Listen, ma chère enfant…”

She asked her one or two questions. Kitty answered them without knowing what they meant. Her lips were trembling so that she could hardly frame the words.

“There is no doubt about it,” said Sister St. Joseph. “I am not one to be deceived in such a matter.”

She gave a little laugh in which Kitty seemed to discern a certain excitement and not a little affection. The Mother Superior, still holding Kitty's hand, smiled with soft tenderness.

“Sister St. Joseph has more experience of these things than I have, dear child, and she said at once what was the matter with you. She was evidently quite right.”

“What do you mean?” asked Kitty anxiously.

“It is quite evident. Did the possibility of such a thing never occur to you? You are with child, my dear.”

The start that Kitty gave shook her from head to foot, and she put her feet to the ground as though to spring up.

“Lie still, lie still,” said the Mother Superior.

Kitty felt herself blush furiously and she put her hands to her breasts.

“It's impossible. It isn't true.”

“Qu'est-ce qu'elle dit?” asked Sister St. Joseph.

The Mother Superior translated. Sister St. Joseph's broad simple face, with its red cheeks, was beaming.

“No mistakes is possible. I give you my word of honor.”

“How long have you been married, my child?” asked the Mother Superior. “Why, when my sister-in-law had been married as long as you she had already two babies.”

Kitty sank back into the chair. There was death in her heart.

“I'm so ashamed,” she whispered.

“Because you are going to have a baby? Why, what can be more natural?”

“Quelle joie pour le docteur,” said Sister St. Joseph.

“Yes, think what a happiness for your husband. He will be overwhelmed with joy. You have only to see him with babies, and the look on his face when he plays with them, to see how enchanted he will be to have one of his own.”

For a little while Kitty was silent. The two nuns looked at her with tender interest and the Mother Superior stroked her hand.

“It was silly of me not to have suspected it before,” said Kitty.“At all events I'm glad it's not cholera. I feel very much better. I will get back to my work.”

“Not to-day, my dear child. You have had a shock, you had much better go home and rest yourself.”

“No, no, I would much rather stay and work.”

“I insist. What would our good doctor say if I let you be imprudent? Come to-morrow, if you like, or the day after, but to-day you must be quiet. I will send for a chair. Would you like me to let one of our young girls go with you?”

“Oh, no, I shall be all right alone.”

然而，過了一兩天以后，凱蒂有了一個意想不到的發(fā)現(xiàn)。

她像往常一樣來到修道院，著手她的第一項工作，看看孩子們是否已經(jīng)洗漱完畢，穿好了衣服。因為修女們篤信晚上的空氣是有害的，所以宿舍里的環(huán)境是封閉的，空氣污濁。雖然早上有新鮮空氣進來，但總是讓凱蒂有些不舒服，每次她都盡可能迅速地把窗子打開通風。可今天，她突然覺得特別惡心，頭也暈乎乎的，她站在窗戶旁邊，想使自己安定下來，以前從來沒有這么難受過。過了一會兒，她終于控制不住惡心，開始嘔吐起來。她的大聲嘔吐把孩子們嚇壞了。那個年齡大一點兒、給凱蒂做小助手的女孩跑過來，看見凱蒂臉色煞白，全身顫抖，她停了下來大聲叫人過來幫忙?；魜y！凱蒂的腦海一下子閃過這個念頭，隨后像被死神扼住的感覺傳遍全身，她被嚇壞了，掙扎了一會兒，痛苦地抵抗著在她血管中蔓延的黑夜，她覺得自己病得很厲害，然后眼前一黑，就什么都不知道了。

當睜開眼睛的時候，她一開始不知道自己在什么地方。慢慢地她感覺到自己好像躺在地板上，移動了一下頭，感覺好像有個枕頭在頭下。她記不清剛才發(fā)生了什么事情。院長嬤嬤正跪在她身邊，手里拿著一塊嗅鹽放到她的鼻子下，圣約瑟夫修女站在旁邊注視著她。凱蒂猛地又想起來了，霍亂！她看到了修女們臉上的驚愕表情，圣約瑟夫修女看上去身形巨大，但輪廓并不清楚?？植涝僖淮瓮虥]了她。

“哦，嬤嬤，嬤嬤。”她抽泣道，“我快要死了嗎？我不想死?！?/p>

“你當然不會死?！痹洪L嬤嬤安慰道。

她很鎮(zhèn)定，甚至眼睛里能夠看出有種覺得好笑的神色。

“但是，我染上了霍亂。沃爾特在哪兒？有人去找他嗎？哦，嬤嬤，嬤嬤?！?/p>

她放聲大哭了起來，院長嬤嬤把手伸給她，凱蒂一把抓住了它，好像它能拉住她害怕失去的生命一樣。

“好了，好了，我親愛的孩子，你別犯傻了。不會是霍亂或者別的什么傳染病的。”

“沃爾特在哪兒？”

“你丈夫太忙了，不能受到干擾。過五分鐘你就會完全沒事了?！?/p>

凱蒂用疲憊的眼神目不轉(zhuǎn)睛地看著她，為什么她那么平靜？這也太殘忍了。

“徹底保持安靜一會兒。”院長嬤嬤說道，“根本沒事，你別自己嚇唬自己?！?/p>

凱蒂覺得她的心猛烈地跳著，她已經(jīng)習慣認為自己是不可能染上霍亂的，哦，她真是個傻瓜！她知道自己快要死了，很害怕。這時，姑娘們搬來一把長藤椅，把它放在了窗戶邊上。

“來吧，讓我們把你抬上去?！痹洪L嬤嬤說道，“在這把椅子上休息會兒，你會更舒服點兒。你覺得自己能站起來嗎？”

她把手放到凱蒂的胳膊下，而圣約瑟夫修女幫著抬腿，凱蒂筋疲力盡地躺到了椅子上。

“我最好把窗戶關上?！笔ゼs瑟夫修女說道，“早上的空氣涼，恐怕對她不好?！?/p>

“不，不?！眲P蒂說道，“請讓它開著。”

看到藍天，她恢復了信心，雖然身子還在哆嗦，但顯然開始覺得好多了。兩位修女安靜地看了她一會兒，隨后，圣約瑟夫修女說了一些她沒聽明白的話。院長嬤嬤坐在椅子邊上，拿起了她的一只手。

“聽我說，親愛的孩子……”

她問了凱蒂一兩個問題，凱蒂告訴了她，但不知道她的用意。她的嘴唇顫抖著，幾乎話不成句。

“一點兒也不用懷疑了?！笔ゼs瑟夫修女說道，“在這種事上，我可不是容易被騙的人。”

她笑了一下，笑聲中凱蒂似乎能分辨出是某種激動和慈愛。院長嬤嬤仍然握著凱蒂的手，微笑中透著關心和柔情。

“圣約瑟夫修女比我在這方面有更多的經(jīng)驗，親愛的孩子，她立刻判斷出了你出了什么狀況，很顯然，她是對的。”

“您是什么意思？”凱蒂焦急地問道。

“事情明擺著，你從來沒想過這種可能嗎？你懷孕了，我親愛的?！?/p>

聽到這話，凱蒂全身一震，一股寒氣從頭穿過了腳底。她把腳一下子放到了地上，好像要從椅子上蹦起來。

“躺好，躺好?！痹洪L嬤嬤說道。

凱蒂覺得自己的臉紅得發(fā)燙，把雙手放到了胸口。

“這不可能，這不是真的?！?/p>

“她說什么呢？”圣約瑟夫修女問道。

院長嬤嬤給她翻譯了一下。圣約瑟夫修女純樸、紅撲撲的臉蛋都開始放光了。

“不可能有錯，我敢發(fā)誓?！?/p>

“你結婚多久了，我的孩子？”院長嬤嬤問道，“為什么你不要孩子，我弟媳婦結婚時間跟你差不多，可她已經(jīng)是兩個孩子的媽媽了?！?/p>

凱蒂又躺倒在藤椅上，心里有了個死結。

“我感到很羞愧。”她小聲說道。

“就因為你快要有一個寶貝了？為什么，這不是再自然不過的事嗎？”

“要是沃爾特醫(yī)生知道了該有多高興呀?！笔ゼs瑟夫修女說道。

“是的，試想一下你的丈夫會有多開心，他一定會心花怒放的。你只需看看他和嬰兒們待在一起的樣子就知道了，他和孩子們一起玩時，臉上的表情別提有多快樂了。我們可以預見，等他有了自己的孩子一定樂開了花?！?/p>

有好長時間凱蒂都沒有說話，兩位修女用溫柔的目光好奇地看著她，院長嬤嬤拍了拍她的手。

“竟然沒想過可能是懷孕了，我真是太傻了?！眲P蒂說道，“不管怎么說，我很高興我沒染上霍亂，現(xiàn)在我沒事了，得回去工作了?！?/p>

“今天就別工作了，我親愛的孩子。你今天受驚了，最好還是先回家休息休息?！?/p>

“不用，不用，我更想待在這兒工作。”

“你還是聽我的話吧，如果我讓你這么不小心，我們的好醫(yī)生會說些什么呢？明天來吧，如果你愿意，或者后天，但是今天你必須休息，我派人去找一張轎椅送你回去，你愿意我派一個年輕的女孩陪著你一起回去嗎？”

“哦，不用了，我想我自己一個人就行了?！?/p>