雙語(yǔ)·面紗 第五十章

50

Since the nuns were busy from morning till night with a hundred duties Kitty saw little of them but at the services in the bare, humble chapel. On her first day the Mother Superior, catching sight of her seated at the back behind the girls on the benches according to their ages, stopped and spoke to her.

“You must not think it necessary for you to come to the chapel when we do,” she said. “You are a Protestant and you have your own convictions.”

“But I like to come, Mother. I find that it rests me.”

The Mother Superior gave her a moment's glance and slightly inclined her grave head.

“Of course you will do exactly as you choose. I merely wanted you to understand that you are under no obligation.”

But with Sister St. Joseph Kitty soon became on terms not of intimacy perhaps but of familiarity. The economy of the convent was in her charge and to look after the material well-being of that big family kept the Sister on her feet all day. She said that the only time she had to rest was that which she devoted to prayer. But it pleased her towards evening when Kitty was with the girls at their work to come in and, vowing that she was tired out and had not a moment to spare, sit down for a few minutes and gossip. When she was not in the presence of the Mother Superior she was a talkative, merry creature, fond of a joke, and she did not dislike a bit of scandal. Kitty stood in no fear of her, her habit did not prevent Sister St. Joseph from being a good-natured, homely woman, and she chattered with her gaily. She did not mind with her showing how badly she talked French and they laughed with one another over Kitty's mistakes. The Sister taught her every day a few useful words of Chinese. She was a farmer's daughter and at heart she was still a peasant.

“I used to keep the cows when I was little,” she said, “l(fā)ike St. Joan of Arc. But I was too wicked to have visions. It was fortunate, I think, for my father would certainly have whipped me if I had. He used often to whip me, the good old man, for I was a very naughty little girl. I am ashamed sometimes when I think now of the pranks I used to play.”

Kitty laughed at the thought that this corpulent, middle-aged nun could ever have been a wayward child. And yet there was something childlike in her still so that your heart went out to her: she seemed to have about her an aroma of the countryside in autumn when the apple trees are laden with fruit and the crops are in and safely housed. She had not the tragic and austere saintliness of the Mother Superior, but a gaiety that was simple and happy.

“Do you never wish to go home again, ma soeur?” asked Kitty.

“Oh, no. It would be too hard to come back. I love to be here and I am never so happy as when I am among the orphans. They're so good, they're so grateful. But it is all very well to be a nun(on a beau être religieuse), still one has a mother and one cannot forget that one drank the milk of her breasts. She is old, my mother, and it is hard never to see her again; but then she is fond of her daughter-in-law, and my brother is good to her. His son is growing up now, I should think they will be glad of an extra pair of strong arms on the farm; he was only a child when I left France, but he promised to have a fist that you could fell an ox with.”

It was almost impossible in that quiet room, listening to the nun, to realize that on the other side of these four walls cholera was raging. Sister St. Joseph had an unconcern which conveyed itself to Kitty.

She had a na?ve curiosity about the world and its inhabitants. She asked Kitty all kinds of questions about London and England, a country, she thought, where so thick was the fog that you could not see your hand at mid-day, and she wanted to know if Kitty went to balls and whether she lived in a grand house and how many brothers and sisters she had. She spoke often of Walter. The Mother Superior said he was wonderful and every day they prayed for him. How lucky Kitty was to have a husband who was so good and so brave and so clever.

第五十章

因?yàn)樾夼畟儚脑绲酵砻χ鴶?shù)不清的工作，除了在那座空蕩、寒酸的小教堂里做禮拜的時(shí)候，凱蒂很少能見(jiàn)到她們。她第一天去小教堂，院長(zhǎng)嬤嬤看到她坐在女孩子們后面，這些孩子是按照年齡的大小被安排在小教堂的長(zhǎng)條凳子上的。院長(zhǎng)嬤嬤停下腳步，走過(guò)來(lái)跟凱蒂說(shuō)道：

“我們必須來(lái)這所教堂時(shí)，你千萬(wàn)別認(rèn)為自己也必須來(lái)?！彼又f(shuō)，“你是一名新教教徒，你有自己的信仰?！?/p>

“但是我愿意來(lái)，嬤嬤。我發(fā)現(xiàn)來(lái)這兒能讓我休息和放松。”

院長(zhǎng)嬤嬤看了她一眼，稍微俯身湊近了她。

“當(dāng)然，你完全可以按照自己的選擇去做，我是想讓你明白，你沒(méi)有責(zé)任和義務(wù)一定要去做什么?！?/p>

凱蒂很快又遇見(jiàn)了圣約瑟夫修女，兩人雖然談不上有多親密，但可以說(shuō)彼此很熟悉了。整個(gè)修道院的財(cái)政大權(quán)都掌握在圣約瑟夫修女手上，她經(jīng)常因?yàn)橐侠硪淮蠹易尤说娜粘；ㄤN而忙得團(tuán)團(tuán)轉(zhuǎn)。她自稱在虔誠(chéng)禱告時(shí)才能休息片刻。然而，能讓她開(kāi)心的是，到了傍晚，當(dāng)凱蒂和那些剛收工的女孩子一起來(lái)到教堂，她可以走上前來(lái)。圣約瑟夫修女發(fā)誓說(shuō)她累壞了，但沒(méi)有時(shí)間休息，這樣她可以有理由坐下來(lái)休息幾分鐘，和凱蒂聊會(huì)兒天。她在院長(zhǎng)嬤嬤不在跟前的時(shí)候總是很健談，充滿快樂(lè)，喜歡開(kāi)玩笑，還熱衷于聊點(diǎn)兒小道消息。凱蒂喜歡她天不怕、地不怕的性格，可以說(shuō)對(duì)她的喜歡超過(guò)了對(duì)她的敬畏。而圣約瑟夫修女的興趣愛(ài)好也不會(huì)妨礙她成為一個(gè)本性善良而平凡的女人。凱蒂和她高興地聊著天，不介意向修女承認(rèn)自己的法語(yǔ)講得有多差，兩人經(jīng)常對(duì)凱蒂語(yǔ)言上犯的錯(cuò)誤哈哈大笑。圣約瑟夫修女每天教凱蒂一些有用的中文詞匯。她是農(nóng)民的女兒，所以在內(nèi)心深處，她還是一個(gè)純樸的農(nóng)民。

“我小時(shí)候常常去放牛，”她說(shuō)道，“就像圣女貞德一樣。但是我不夠圣潔，還不能在幻覺(jué)中看到美景。我想這也是不幸之中的萬(wàn)幸，如果我真看到了幻景，我父親肯定會(huì)用鞭子抽我的，他過(guò)去常常打我，這個(gè)老家伙。我是個(gè)非常淘氣的小姑娘，有時(shí)候回想起當(dāng)初的惡作劇，還覺(jué)得不好意思哩?！眲P蒂一想到這個(gè)胖胖的、已到中年的修女曾經(jīng)是一個(gè)任性的孩子，就忍俊不禁。哪怕到了現(xiàn)在，她性格中還有些孩子氣，常常能夠感染你。她身上似乎有著秋天鄉(xiāng)下的香氣，也就是當(dāng)蘋(píng)果樹(shù)結(jié)滿果實(shí)，莊稼被收割裝滿谷倉(cāng)時(shí)所散發(fā)出的鄉(xiāng)土氣息。她沒(méi)有院長(zhǎng)嬤嬤性情中的那種圣徒般的悲憫與苦修，但有一種樸素和幸福的樂(lè)觀。

“你從未想到過(guò)返回故鄉(xiāng)嗎，我的姐妹？”凱蒂問(wèn)道。

“哦，沒(méi)有?；丶姨y了。再說(shuō)我熱愛(ài)這兒，我從來(lái)沒(méi)有像在孤兒們中間那么開(kāi)心過(guò)。他們是那么的善良，每個(gè)人都有一顆感恩的心。成為一名修女（我們一直虔誠(chéng)地信奉宗教），我覺(jué)得挺好的，就像一個(gè)人有養(yǎng)育她的母親，她不能忘記是吸吮她的乳汁長(zhǎng)大的一樣。我母親的年紀(jì)很大了，恐怕我們無(wú)法再見(jiàn)面了。我心里也很難過(guò)。但她和兒媳婦相處得很好，我的弟弟對(duì)她也很孝順，我的侄子現(xiàn)在也長(zhǎng)大了，我想他們很高興農(nóng)莊里又多了一個(gè)幫手，我離開(kāi)法國(guó)時(shí)，他還是個(gè)孩子，可他答應(yīng)我會(huì)快快長(zhǎng)大，好有足夠的力氣干農(nóng)活。”

聽(tīng)著圣約瑟夫修女聊著家常，你幾乎不可能意識(shí)到，在這個(gè)安靜屋子的四面墻壁之外，有可怕的霍亂正在肆虐。在凱蒂看來(lái)，圣約瑟夫修女就對(duì)它毫不在意。

圣約瑟夫修女對(duì)這個(gè)世界和它的居民有著天真的好奇心，她問(wèn)凱蒂關(guān)于英國(guó)和倫敦的各種各樣的問(wèn)題，她認(rèn)為英國(guó)整天大霧彌漫，甚至在大白天都伸手不見(jiàn)五指。她想知道凱蒂是否經(jīng)常去舞會(huì)，是否住在一所大房子里，有多少個(gè)兄弟姐妹。她還經(jīng)常談到沃爾特。院長(zhǎng)嬤嬤說(shuō)他人太好了，每天她們都會(huì)為他祈禱。凱蒂能有這么一個(gè)善良、勇敢、充滿智慧的丈夫是多么的幸運(yùn)！