雙語·面紗 第三章

3

She went out on to the verandah and watched him leave the house. He waved his hand to her. It gave her a little thrill as she looked at him; he was forty-one, but he had the lithe figure and the springing step of a boy.

The verandah was in shadow; and lazily, her heart at ease with satisfied love, she lingered. Their house stood in the Happey Valley, on the side of the hill, for they could not afford to live on the more eligible but expensive Peak. But her abstracted gaze scarcely noticed the blue sea and the crowded shipping in the harbour. She could think only of her lover.

Of course it was stupid to behave as they had done that afternoon, but if he wanted her how could she be prudent? He had come two or three times after tiffin, when in the heat of the day no one thought of stirring out, and not even the boys had seen him come and go. It was very difficult at Hong Kong. She hated the Chinese city and it made her nervous to go into the filthy little house off the Victoria Road in which they were in the habit of meeting. It was a curio dealer's; and the Chinese who were sitting about stared at her unpleasantly; she hated the ingratiating smile of the old man who took her to the back of the shop and then up a dark flight of stairs. The room into which he led her was frowsy and the large wooden bed against the wall made her shudder.

“This is dreadfully sordid, isn't it?” she said to Charlie the first time she met him there.

“It was till you came in,” he answered,

Of course the moment he took her in his arms she forgot everything.

Oh, how hateful it was that she wasn't free, that they both weren't free! She didn't like his wife. Kitty's wandering thoughts dwelt now for a moment on Dorothy Townsend. How unfortunate to be called Dorothy! It dated you. She was thirty-eight at least. But Charlie never spoke of her. Of course he didn't care for her; she bored him to death. But he was a gentleman. Kitty smiled with affectionate irony: it was just like him, silly old thing; he might be unfaithful to her, but he would never allow a word in disparagement of her to cross his lips. She was a tallish woman, taller than Kitty, neither stout nor thin, with a good deal of pale brown hair; she could never have been pretty with anything but the prettiness of youth; her features were good enough without being remarkable and her blue eyes were cold. She had a skin that you would never look at twice and no color in her cheeks. And she dressed like--well, like what she was, the wife of the Assistant Colonial Secretary at Hong Kong. Kitty smiled and gave her shoulders a faint shrug.

Of course no one could deny that Dorothy Townsend had a pleasant voice. She was a wonderful mother, Charlie always said that of her, and she was what Kitty's mother called a gentlewoman. But Kitty did not like her. She did not like her casual manner; and the politeness with which she treated you when you went there, to tea or dinner, was exasperating because you could not but feel how little interest she took in you. The fact was, Kitty supposed, that she cared for nothing but her children: there were two boys at school in England, and another boy of six whom she was going to take home next year. Her face was a mask. She smiled and in her pleasant, well-mannered way said the things that were expected of her; but for all her cordiality held you at a distance. She had a few intimate friends in the Colony and they greatly admired her. Kitty wondered whether Mrs. Townsend thought her a little common. She flushed. After all there was no reason for her to put on airs. It was true that her father had been a Colonial Governor and of course it was very grand while it lasted--every one stood up when you entered a room and men took off their hats to you as you passed in your car--but what could be more insignificant than a Colonial Governor when he had retired? Dorothy Townsend's father lived on a pension in a small house at Earl's Court. Kitty's mother would think it a dreadful bore if she asked her to call. Kitty's father, Bernard Garstin, was a K.C. and there was no reason why he should not be made a judge one of these days. Anyhow they lived in South Kensington.

第三章

她走出起居室來到陽臺上，目送他離開。他向她揮了揮手，看著他的身影，她仍然有點兒激動。他已經(jīng)四十一歲了，但身形輕盈，走路像個大男孩似的蹦蹦跳跳。

陽臺處于陰影當中了，她帶著滿足的愛，心也放松下來，反而覺得慵懶的感覺襲來。他們的這棟房子坐落在幸福山谷，在小山的一側(cè)，住在山頂可能會更稱心如意，但房價要貴得多，他們負擔不起。她在陽臺上逗留了一陣兒，但愣著神，似乎沒有注意到藍色的海洋和港口中擁擠的船只，滿腦子想的只有她的情人。

當然，今天下午他們的所作所為是愚蠢的，但是如果他想要她，她又如何能做到小心謹慎？在午飯后，他以前也來過兩三次，在一天正熱的時候，沒人會想到要出門，所以甚至仆人們也沒看到他的到來和離開。在香港，他們幽會很困難，她不喜歡這座中國城市，每次走進位于維多利亞路上的那棟骯臟而狹小的樓房時，她總是非常緊張。這是個古董商店，也是他們經(jīng)常幽會的地方，坐在里面的中國人盯著她，令人討厭。她也不喜歡那個滿臉堆笑的老頭兒，他把她帶到商店的后堂，然后爬上一段黑乎乎的樓梯，她被領(lǐng)進一間散發(fā)著霉味的房間，一張大木床緊靠著墻，讓她不寒而栗。

“這也太臟了，不是嗎？”當她第一次在那兒見查理時，她對他說道。

“你來了，這兒就不一樣了。”他回答道。

當然，他把她摟入懷中的那一刻，她忘了一切。

哦，她是個有夫之婦，真是可恨，更可恨的是他們兩個人都不是自由身。她不喜歡他的妻子，凱蒂漫無目的的思緒現(xiàn)在有那么一會兒落在了多蘿西·湯森身上。叫多蘿西這個名字可真是不怎么樣！它是那么老氣橫秋，她至少三十八歲了，但是查理從不提她。當然，他也不在乎她，她讓他煩得要死。但他是個紳士，絲毫沒表現(xiàn)出嫌棄他妻子的樣子。凱蒂充滿感情又有些鄙夷地微笑著：這可真是他的做派，傻乎乎的老家伙，他可以對她不忠，但他又絕不會說出一個瞧不起她的字兒。多蘿西是個高個子的女人，比凱蒂要高，既不胖也不瘦，淡褐色的頭發(fā)很濃密。除了年齡還不算太大以外，她跟漂亮從不沾邊。她的身材保持得很好，沒有發(fā)福，藍色的眼睛冷冷的，膚色讓人沒法看第二眼，臉頰上沒有血色。但是她的穿著嘛，嗯，和她作為香港殖民地大臣助理妻子的身份還算匹配。想到這里，凱蒂笑了起來，還略微聳了聳肩。

當然，沒人會否認多蘿西·湯森有一副動人的嗓音，她也是一位好母親，查理總是提到這一點，也就是凱蒂的母親所說的淑女。但是，凱蒂并不喜歡她，也不喜歡她隨意的舉止。和你在一起的時候，她會禮貌地招待你，請你喝茶或者留下來吃飯，但就是這種禮貌會讓你感到惱火，因為你能感覺到她根本沒把你放在心上。凱蒂心想，她什么都不在乎，只在乎她的孩子們。她的兩個兒子在英國上學，明年她還會把跟著她的六歲大的兒子也送回英國。她的臉仿佛戴著面具，她會邊微笑著，邊用她甜美的聲音和禮貌的態(tài)度談論符合她身份的事情，但是顯然缺乏熱誠，使你產(chǎn)生距離感。她在香港有幾個閨中密友，她們都特別喜歡她。凱蒂想搞清在湯森太太的眼中，是否她多少有點兒出身寒酸，想到這里，她不禁臉有點兒紅了。但多蘿西也不該有什么理由來端架子，雖說她的父親曾經(jīng)官至殖民地的總督，當然在位時確實很風光——當他走進房間時，每個人都會起立；當他走過人們的身旁乘車離開時，男人們都會脫下帽子致敬——但是還有什么比一個退了休的殖民地總督更不起眼的呢？多蘿西的父親現(xiàn)在靠退休金度日，住在伯爵廣場地區(qū)的一棟小房子里。凱蒂的母親并不常讓她回家看看，如果她去了，她母親反而覺得無聊透頂。凱蒂的父親，伯納德·賈斯汀是一位王室法律顧問，有朝一日成為一名法官是水到渠成的事，他們一家住在南肯辛頓富人區(qū)。