Presently we left him. Dirk was going home to dinner, and I proposed to find a doctor and bring him to see Strickland;but when we got down into the street, fresh after the stuffy attic, the Dutchman begged me to go immediately to his studio.He had something in mind which he would not tell me, but he insisted that it was very necessary for me to accompany him.Since I did not think a doctor could at the moment do any more than we had done, I consented.We found Blanche Stroeve laying the table for dinner.Dirk went up to her, and took both her hands.
“Dear one, I want you to do something for me,”he said.
She looked at him with the grave cheerfulness which was one of her charms. His red face was shining with sweat, and he had a look of comic agitation, but there was in his round, surprised eyes an eager light.
“Strickland is very ill. He may be dying.He is alone in a filthy attic, and there is not a soul to look after him.I want you to let me bring him here.”
She withdrew her hands quickly-I had never seen her make so rapid a movement-and her cheeks fushed.
“Oh no.”
“Oh, my dear one, don't refuse. I couldn't bear to leave him where he is.I shouldn't sleep a wink for thinking of him.”
“I have no objection to your nursing him.”
Her voice was cold and distant.
“But he'll die.”
“Let him.”
Stroeve gave a little gasp. He wiped his face.He turned to me for support, but I did not know what to say.
“He's a great artist.”
“What do I care?I hate him.”
“Oh, my love, my precious, you don't mean that. I beseech you to let me bring him here.We can make him comfortable.Perhaps we can save him.He shall be no trouble to you.I will do everything.We'll make him up a bed in the studio.We can't let him die like a dog.It would be inhuman.”
“Why can't he go to a hospital?”
“A hospital!He needs the care of loving hands. He must be treated with infnite tact.”
I was surprised to see how moved she was. She went on laying the table, but her hands trembled.
“I have no patience with you. Do you think if you were ill he would stir a fnger to help you?”
“But what does that matter?I should have you to nurse me. It wouldn't be necessary.And besides, I'm different;I'm not of any importance.”
“You have no more spirit than a mongrel cur. You lie down on the ground and ask people to trample on you.”
Stroeve gave a little laugh. He thought he understood the reason of his wife's attitude.
“Oh, my poor dear, you're thinking of that day he came here to look at my pictures. What does it matter if he didn't think them any good?It was stupid of me to show them to him.I dare say they're not very good.”
He looked round the studio ruefully. On the easel was a half-fnished picture of a smiling Italian peasant, holding a bunch of grapes over the head of a dark-eyed girl.
“Even if he didn't like them he should have been civil. He needn't have insulted you.He showed that he despised you, and you lick his hand.Oh, I hate him.”
“Dear child, he has genius. You don't think I believe that I have it.I wish I had;but I know it when I see it, and I honour it with all my heart.It's the most wonderful thing in the world.It's a great burden to its possessors.We should be very tolerant with them, and very patient.”
I stood apart, somewhat embarrassed by the domestic scene, and wondered why Stroeve had insisted on my coming with him. I saw that his wife was on the verge of tears.
“But it's not only because he's a genius that I ask you to let me bring him here;it's because he's a human being, and he is ill and poor.”
“I will never have him in my house-never.”
Stroeve turned to me.
“Tell her that it's a matter of life and death. It's impossible to leave him in that wretched hole.”
“It's quite obvious that it would be much easier to nurse him here,”I said,“but of course it would be very inconvenient. I have an idea that someone will have to be with him day and night.”
“My love, it's not you who would shirk a little trouble.”
“If he comes here, I shall go,”said Mrs. Stroeve violently.
“I don't recognize you. You're so good and kind.”
“Oh, for goodness'sake, let me be. You drive me to distraction.”
Then at last the tears came. She sank into a chair, and buried her face in her hands.Her shoulders shook convulsively.In a moment Dirk was on his knees beside her, with his arms round her, kissing her, calling her all sorts of pet names, and the facile tears ran down his own cheeks.Presently she released herself and dried her eyes.
“Leave me alone,”she said, not unkindly;and then to me, trying to smile:“What must you think of me?”
Stroeve, looking at her with perplexity, hesitated. His forehead was all puckered, and his red mouth set in a pout.He reminded me oddly of an agitated guinea-pig.
“Then it's No, darling?”he said at last.
She gave a gesture of lassitude. She was exhausted.
“The studio is yours. Everything belongs to you.If you want to bring him here, how can I prevent you?”
A sudden smile fashed across his round face.
“Then you consent?I knew you would. Oh, my precious.”
Suddenly she pulled herself together. She looked at him with haggard eyes.She clasped her hands over her heart as though its beating were intolerable.
“Oh, Dirk, I've never since we met asked you to do anything for me.”
“You know there's nothing in the world that I wouldn't do for you.”
“I beg you not to let Strickland come here. Anyone else you like.Bring a thief, a drunkard, any outcast off the streets, and I promise you I'll do everything I can for them gladly.But I beseech you not to bring Strickland here.”
“But why?”
“I'm frightened of him. I don't know why, but there's something in him that terrifes me.He'll do us some great harm.I know it.I feel it.If you bring him here it can only end badly.”
“But how unreasonable!”
“No, no. I know I'm right.Something terrible will happen to us.”
“Because we do a good action?”
She was panting now, and in her face was a terror which was inexplicable. I do not know what she thought.I felt that she was possessed by some shapeless dread which robbed her of all self-control.As a rule she was so calm;her agitation now was amazing.Stroeve looked at her for a while with puzzled consternation.
“You are my wife;you are dearer to me than anyone in the world. No one shall come here without your entire consent.”
She closed her eyes for a moment, and I thought she was going to faint. I was a little impatient with her;I had not suspected that she was so neurotic a woman.Then I heard Stroeve's voice again.It seemed to break oddly on the silence.
“Haven't you been in bitter distress once when a helping hand was held out to you?You know how much it means. Wouldn't you like to do someone a good turn when you have the chance?”
The words were ordinary enough, and to my mind there was in them something so hortatory that I almost smiled. I was astonished at the effect they had on Blanche Stroeve.She started a little, and gave her husband a long look.His eyes were fxed on the ground.I did not know why he seemed embarrassed.A faint colour came into her cheeks, and then her face became white-more than white, ghastly;you felt that the blood had shrunk away from the whole surface of her body;and even her hands were pale.A shiver passed through her.The silence of the studio seemed to gather body, so that it became an almost palpable presence.I was bewildered.
“Bring Strickland here, Dirk. I'll do my best for him.”
“My precious,”he smiled.
He wanted to take her in his arms, but she avoided him.
“Don't be affectionate before strangers, Dirk,”she said.“It makes me feel such a fool.”
Her manner was quite normal again, and no one could have told that so shortly before she had been shaken by such a great emotion.
過了一會兒,我們離開了斯特里克蘭的住處。迪爾柯回家去吃晚飯,我說好去找一個大夫,帶他去看看斯特里克蘭的病。但當我們走到大街上,從憋悶的閣樓出來,剛呼吸了一口新鮮空氣,這個荷蘭人就懇求我馬上跟他回他的畫室。顯然他腦子里有了什么想法,但還沒告訴我。他堅持說很有必要讓我陪著他,因為醫(yī)生此刻能做的事比我們已經(jīng)做的多不了哪里去。我只好同意。當我們進門的時候,布蘭奇·斯特羅伊夫正在擺桌子,已備好了晚餐。迪爾柯走上前去,抓著她的雙手。
“親愛的,我想求你為我做點事情?!彼f道。
她看著他,嚴肅中透著快樂,這正是她的迷人之處。他紅色的臉膛因為汗水而閃亮,一副可笑的激動的樣子,在他圓圓的、好像受到驚嚇的眼睛里透著一種急切的光芒。
“斯特里克蘭病得很厲害,他可能快死了,自己待在一間臟兮兮的閣樓里,身邊沒一個人照料他,我想求你讓我把他帶到這兒來。”
她很快抽回了雙手——我從來沒見過她動作如此的迅速——臉也紅了。
“噢,不行。”
“哦,我親愛的,不要拒絕吧,我真的無法忍受把他一個人丟在那兒,想到那種情景,我睡覺都閉不上眼睛?!?/p>
“我不反對你去照顧他。”
她的聲音冷冷的,拒人于千里之外的感覺。
“可是他快死了?!?/p>
“讓他死去吧?!?/p>
斯特羅伊夫倒吸了一口氣,抹了一把臉。他轉(zhuǎn)向我尋求支持,可我不知說什么好。
“他是一個偉大的藝術家?!?/p>
“關我什么事?我恨他?!?/p>
“哦,親愛的,我的寶貝,你不會是這個意思吧,我懇求你讓我把他帶到這兒來吧。我們能讓他舒服些,也許我們還能救他的命。他不會給你添什么麻煩的,我來做一切事情,我們在畫室里給他安張床,我們不能讓他像條狗一樣死去呀,那也太沒人性了?!?/p>
“他干嗎不去醫(yī)院?”
“醫(yī)院!他需要有充滿慈愛的雙手來照料,他必須得到精心護理才行?!?/p>
我很吃驚地看到她被打動了,她繼續(xù)擺桌子,但雙手在顫抖。
“我沒有耐心聽你叨叨,如果是你病了,你覺得他會伸出一根手指頭來幫你嗎?”
“那有什么關系?我有你照料我呀,沒必要讓他來幫我。再說了,我和他不一樣,我是微不足道的?!?/p>
“你連一只雜種小狗的志氣都沒有!你躺在地上,讓人從你身上踐踏過去。”
斯特羅伊夫笑了笑,覺得明白他妻子這種態(tài)度的原因了。
“哦,我可憐的寶貝,你還想著那天他來我們家看我畫的事呀。如果他覺得我的畫畫得不怎么樣,這又有什么關系?我讓他看我的畫,這事本來做得就不夠聰明,我也敢說這些畫確實不怎么樣?!?/p>
他可憐巴巴地環(huán)顧了一下畫室。在畫架上還有一幅完成了一半的畫——一個笑著的意大利農(nóng)民,正拿著一大串葡萄放到一個黑眼睛姑娘的頭上。
“即使他不喜歡你的畫,也應該有禮貌些,沒有必要侮辱你。他表現(xiàn)得很鄙視你,而你還在舔他的手。哦,我恨死他了?!?/p>
“親愛的,他很有天分,你不會認為我覺得自己也有吧,我倒是希望我有。但是我知道當我看見這種天分時,我從心底里尊重它,它是世界上最不可思議的東西,可對擁有它的人,天分又是巨大的負擔。我們應該對他們非常容忍,非常有耐心?!?/p>
我站在一旁,被這家庭中的一幕弄得有些尷尬。我搞不清楚為什么斯特羅伊夫堅持讓我和他一起回來。我看到他的妻子都快被氣哭了。
“不僅因為他是個天才,我才求你讓我把他帶來的,而且因為他是個人呀,他貧病交加?!?/p>
“我絕不會讓他進我們家門的——絕不。”
斯特羅伊夫轉(zhuǎn)向了我。
“告訴她這是件生死攸關的事情,無論如何不能把他扔在那個悲慘的老鼠洞里不管。”
“在這兒照料他要容易得多,這誰都能看出來,”我說,“但顯而易見的是也會很不方便。我知道得有人不分晝夜地陪著他?!?/p>
“我親愛的,你不是個偷懶怕麻煩的人呀。”
“如果他來了,我就走?!彼固亓_伊夫太太瘋了似的說道。
“我都認不出你了,你本來那么善良,那么心腸軟?!?/p>
“噢,看在老天爺?shù)姆稚希銊e再逼我了,你把我都快逼瘋了?!?/p>
終于她的眼淚流了下來,她一屁股癱坐到了椅子上,用雙手蒙住了臉,肩膀劇烈地抽動著。過了一會兒,迪爾柯雙膝跪在了她的身邊,雙臂抱著她,親吻她,叫著她的各種昵稱,說來就來的眼淚在他的雙頰上流淌。過了一會兒,她從他的懷抱中掙脫出來,擦干了眼淚。
“讓我一個人待會兒吧?!彼目跉獠荒敲磹汉莺莸牧?,然后對著我,努力想擠出一絲微笑:“讓你見笑了,真不知你會把我看成什么樣的人了?”
斯特羅伊夫困惑地看著她,一時有點手足無措。他的眉頭緊鎖,紅色的嘴巴噘著,他的怪樣子讓我想起了一只受到驚嚇的豚鼠。
“那么,你還是堅決不同意嘍,親愛的?”他最終說道。
她有氣無力地揮了一下手,似乎已經(jīng)精疲力竭了。
“這間畫室是你的,這里的一切都屬于你。如果你想把他帶到這兒來,我怎么能攔得住呢?”
在他的圓臉上,突然閃現(xiàn)了微笑。
“那就是說你同意了?我就知道你會的,哦,我親愛的寶貝?!?/p>
突然,她又克制住自己,用暗淡的眼神望著他,她十指交叉地把手放到胸口上,好像心臟跳動得讓人無法忍受。
“哦,迪爾柯,自從我們在一起,我從來沒要求過你為我做什么?!?/p>
“你知道,在世上沒有任何事情我不會為你做?!?/p>
“我乞求你別把斯特里克蘭帶到咱們家來。其他任何人你都可以帶來,小偷、醉鬼、街頭流浪漢,我向你保證,我會開心地為他們做一切事情,但我懇求你別把斯特里克蘭帶來。”
“可是為什么呀?”
“我害怕他,我不知道為什么,但他身上有種東西嚇著我了,他會給我們帶來傷害的,我知道的,我感覺到了。如果你非要把他帶來不可,結(jié)局只能很悲慘?!?/p>
“可你這話多么不理性呀!”
“不,不。我知道我是對的??膳碌氖虑闀蹬R到我們身上?!?/p>
“就因為我們做了一件好事?”
她現(xiàn)在又氣喘吁吁了,臉上出現(xiàn)了難以名狀的恐懼。我不知道她的想法,覺得她被某種無形的、可怕的東西所占據(jù),失去了自我控制的能力。她本來一貫那么冷靜,而現(xiàn)在的驚恐不安讓人感到吃驚。斯特羅伊夫盯著她看了好一會兒,既困惑不解,又驚慌失措。
“你是我的妻子,是我在世上最親的人,在沒有征得你完全同意之前,沒人會來咱們家?!?/p>
她閉了一會兒眼睛,我想她都快暈倒了,我對她有點失去了耐心,我以前從沒懷疑過她竟是一個神經(jīng)質(zhì)的女人。這時,我再次聽到斯特羅伊夫的聲音響了起來,似乎打破了這陣奇怪的沉默。
“你以前沒有過痛苦萬分的經(jīng)歷,而有人曾經(jīng)向你伸出過援手嗎?你知道這幫助意味著什么。當你有這樣的機會時,你難道不愿意也幫助別人嗎?”
這些話雖然很普通,但在我的心里,覺得在這番話里有著勸誡的意味。我笑了。但我大吃一驚地發(fā)現(xiàn)這些話對布蘭奇·斯特羅伊夫產(chǎn)生了效果。她驚跳了一下,長久地盯著她的丈夫,而此時斯特羅伊夫的眼睛卻盯著地面。我搞不懂為什么他看上去有些窘迫。斯特羅伊夫太太的臉頰上又泛起了淡淡的紅暈,而接下來她的臉又變白了——變得慘白,讓人覺得好像血液一下子從她的身體表面被抽干了,甚至她的雙手也變得蒼白無色。一陣顫抖像打擺子一樣掠過她的全身,畫室的沉寂似乎凝結(jié)成了冰塊,幾乎成了觸手可及的東西。我大惑不解。
“把斯特里克蘭帶到這兒來吧,迪爾柯,我會盡力照顧他的?!?/p>
“我的寶貝?!彼α?。
他想再次把她攬入懷中,但她躲避了他。
“別在生人面前卿卿我我的,迪爾柯,”她說,“那會讓我覺得自己是個傻瓜。”
她的舉止再次變得十分正常,沒人能夠看出就在剛才她還經(jīng)歷著情緒的大起大落。