Chapter 3
第三章
But all this is by the way.
但是這一切都是題外之言。
I was very young when I wrote my first book. By a lucky chance it excited attention, and various persons sought my acquaintance.
我寫第一本書的時(shí)候非常年輕,但由于偶然的因緣這本書引起了人們的注意,不少人想要同我結(jié)識(shí)。
It is not without melancholy that I wander among my recollections of the world of letters in London when first, bashful but eager, I was introduced to it. It is long since I frequented it, and if the novels that describe its present singularities are accurate much in it is now changed. The venue is different. Chelsea and Bloomsbury have taken the place of Hampstead, Notting Hill Gate, and High Street, Kensington. Then it was a distinction to be under forty, but now to be more than twenty-five is absurd. I think in those days we were a little shy of our emotions, and the fear of ridicule tempered the more obvious forms of pretentiousness. I do not believe that there was in that genteel Bohemia an intensive culture of chastity, but I do not remember so crude a promiscuity as seems to be practised in the present day. We did not think it hypocritical to draw over our vagaries the curtain of a decent silence. The spade was not invariably called a bloody shovel. Woman had not yet altogether come into her own.
我剛剛被引進(jìn)倫敦文學(xué)界的時(shí)候,心情又是熱切又是羞澀;現(xiàn)在回憶起當(dāng)時(shí)的種種情況,不無(wú)凄涼之感。很久我沒(méi)有到倫敦去了,如果現(xiàn)在出版的小說(shuō)里面的描寫是真,倫敦一定發(fā)生了很大變化了。文人聚會(huì)的地點(diǎn)已經(jīng)改變了。柴爾西和布魯姆斯伯里取代了漢普斯臺(tái)德、諾廷山門、高街和肯星頓的地位。當(dāng)時(shí)年紀(jì)不到四十歲就被看作了不起的人物,如今過(guò)了二十五歲就會(huì)讓人覺得滑稽可笑了。我想在過(guò)去的日子里我們都羞于使自己的感情外露,因?yàn)榕氯顺靶Γ远技s束著自己不給人以傲慢自大的印象。我并不認(rèn)為當(dāng)時(shí)風(fēng)雅放浪的詩(shī)人作家執(zhí)身如何端肅,但我卻不記得那時(shí)候文藝界有今天這么多風(fēng)流韻事。我們對(duì)自己的一些荒誕不經(jīng)的行為遮上一層保持體面的緘默,并不認(rèn)為這是虛偽。我們講話講究含蓄,并不總是口無(wú)遮攔,說(shuō)什么都直言不諱。女性們那時(shí)也還沒(méi)有完全取得絕對(duì)自主的地位。
I lived near Victoria Station, and I recall long excursions by bus to the hospitable houses of the literary. In my timidity I wandered up and down the street while I screwed up my courage to ring the bell; and then, sick with apprehension, was ushered into an airless room full of people. I was introduced to this celebrated person after that one, and the kind words they said about my book made me excessively uncomfortable. I felt they expected me to say clever things, and I never could think of any till after the party was over. I tried to conceal my embarrassment by handing round cups of tea and rather ill-cut bread-and-butter. I wanted no one to take notice of me, so that I could observe these famous creatures at my ease and listen to the clever things they said.
我住在維多利亞車站附近;我還記得我到一些殷勤好客的文藝家庭中去作客總要乘車在市區(qū)兜很大的圈子,因?yàn)樾咔拥男睦碜魉?,我往往在街上?lái)來(lái)回回走好幾遍才鼓起勇氣去按門鈴。然后,我心里捏著一把汗,被讓進(jìn)一間高朋滿座、悶得透不過(guò)氣的屋子。我被介紹給這位名士、那位巨擘,這些人對(duì)我的著作所說(shuō)的恭維話讓我感到坐立不安。我知道他們都等著我說(shuō)幾句雋詞妙語(yǔ),可是直到茶會(huì)開完了,我仍然想不出什么有風(fēng)趣的話來(lái)。為了遮蓋自己窘態(tài),我就張羅著給客人倒茶送水,把切得不成形的涂著黃油的面包遞到人們手里。我希望的是誰(shuí)都別注意我,讓我心神寧?kù)o地觀察一下這些知名人士,好好聽一聽他們妙趣橫生的言語(yǔ)。
I have a recollection of large, unbending women with great noses and rapacious eyes, who wore their clothes as though they were armour; and of little, mouse-like spinsters, with soft voices and a shrewd glance. I never ceased to be fascinated by their persistence in eating buttered toast with their gloves on, and I observed with admiration the unconcern with which they wiped their fingers on their chair when they thought no one was looking. It must have been bad for the furniture, but I suppose the hostess took her revenge on the furniture of her friends when, in turn, she visited them. Some of them were dressed fashionably, and they said they couldn't for the life of them see why you should be dowdy just because you had written a novel; if you had a neat figure you might as well make the most of it, and a smart shoe on a small foot had never prevented an editor from taking your "stuff."
我記得我遇見不少身材壯碩、腰板挺得筆直的女人。這些女人生著大鼻頭,目光炯炯,衣服穿在她們身上好象披著一掛甲胄;我也看到許多象小老鼠似的瘦小枯干的老處女,說(shuō)話柔聲細(xì)氣,眼睛滴溜溜亂轉(zhuǎn)。我對(duì)她們那種總是戴著手套吃黃油吐司的怪毛病常常感到十分好笑;她們認(rèn)為沒(méi)有人看見的時(shí)候就偷偷在椅子上揩手指頭,這讓我看著也十分佩服。這對(duì)主人的家具肯定不是件好事,但是我想在輪到主人到這些人家里作客的時(shí)候,肯定也會(huì)在她朋友的家具上進(jìn)行報(bào)復(fù)的。這些女人有的衣著入時(shí),她們說(shuō)她們無(wú)論如何也看不出一個(gè)人為什么只因?yàn)閷懥艘槐拘≌f(shuō)就要穿得邋里邋遢。如果你的身段苗條為什么不能盡量把它顯示出來(lái)呢?俊俏的小腳穿上時(shí)髦的鞋子絕不會(huì)妨礙編輯采用你的稿件。
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