第十一季 第六集 | |
0,0:00:06.85, | Howie, slow down. |
華仔 吃慢點(diǎn) | |
0,0:00:08.38, | I can't. |
不行 | |
0,0:00:08.94, | I'm not allowed to eat for 12 hours before my surgery, |
手術(shù)之前12小時都不能吃東西 | |
0,0:00:11.34, | and I only got two more minutes. |
我只剩兩分鐘了 | |
0,0:00:16.84, | What surgery are you having? |
你也要動什么手術(shù)嗎 | |
0,0:00:19.25, | I'm stress eating. |
我是壓力型暴飲暴食 | |
0,0:00:20.90, | My best friend's getting a vasectomy tomorrow. |
我最好的朋友明天要去結(jié)扎了 | |
0,0:00:24.09, | And you're sad you won't be able to bear his child? |
你是難過自己再也沒機(jī)會懷他寶寶嗎 | |
0,0:00:28.15, | Oh, my goodness. |
我的天 | |
0,0:00:29.48, | If it's "Vasectomy gone wrong" videos, |
如果是"結(jié)扎手術(shù)失誤"視頻集錦 | |
0,0:00:31.36, | he's seen them all. |
他已經(jīng)全部看過了 | |
0,0:00:32.66, | Including the one of the guy who's sitting |
包括一個男人看起來像坐在哈密瓜上 | |
0,0:00:34.11, | on what appears to be a cantaloupe but is not. |
但其實(shí)是他自己血腫蛋蛋的那個視頻 | |
0,0:00:38.06, | And I'm done. |
我不吃了 | |
0,0:00:41.13, | They're going to start making Professor Proton's science show again. |
他們要重新開拍《質(zhì)子教授科學(xué)秀》節(jié)目了 | |
0,0:00:44.69, | I thought he passed away. |
我還以為他已經(jīng)過世了 | |
0,0:00:45.75, | He did. |
沒錯 | |
0,0:00:46.40, | 兒童科學(xué)節(jié)目常有的科學(xué)小實(shí)驗(yàn) |
水中加入幾勺蘇打粉 再加一點(diǎn)白醋能像火山爆發(fā) | |
0,0:00:46.40, | He was cremated, and his remains were put in a baking soda volcano. |
他火化后 骨灰都投進(jìn)了小蘇打火山里了 | |
0,0:00:52.48, | Don't make jokes. He meant a lot to Sheldon. |
別亂開玩笑 他對謝爾頓意義重大 | |
0,0:00:54.87, | Oh, me, too. I grew up watching his show. |
我也一樣 我是看著他節(jié)目長大的 | |
0,0:00:56.61, | He's one of the reasons I became a scientist. |
他是我成為科學(xué)家的原因之一 | |
0,0:00:58.65, | Thought you did it just to get girls. |
我還以為你是為了把妹呢 | |
0,0:01:02.15, | Joke's on you. It worked. |
哈哈 我不是把到你了嗎 | |
0,0:01:05.96, | Have they found anyone to replace him? |
他們找到接班人了嗎 | |
0,0:01:07.51, | No, not yet, and it won't be easy. |
不 還沒有 這可不簡單 | |
0,0:01:09.59, | Arthur Jeffries was an accomplished scientist. |
亞瑟·杰弗里斯是一個成就頗豐的科學(xué)家 | |
0,0:01:12.35, | You know who'd make a great Professor Proton? |
你知道誰可以演好質(zhì)子教授嗎 | |
0,0:01:15.20, | Meryl Streep. |
影后梅麗爾·斯特里普 | |
0,0:01:18.54, | She's not a scientist. |
她不是科學(xué)家 | |
0,0:01:20.02, | Uh, then explain to me why |
那你告訴我 | |
0,0:01:21.49, | she has chemistry with literally everyone. |
為什么她和每個人都能產(chǎn)生化學(xué)反應(yīng) | |
0,0:01:26.11, | It would be nice if they cast a woman. |
如果他們能讓女演員來演也不錯 | |
0,0:01:28.04, | 新版《神秘博士》和《捉鬼特工隊(duì)》的主角都是女性 |
0,0:01:28.04, | Oh, you've already got Doctor Who and the Ghostbusters. |
你們已經(jīng)有了《神秘博士》和《捉鬼特工隊(duì)》 | |
0,0:01:30.16, | Leave us something. |
給我們男人剩點(diǎn)吧 | |
0,0:01:32.88, | Who do you think it should be? |
你覺得應(yīng)該讓誰演 | |
0,0:01:34.35, | Well, it should be a scientist I respect. |
應(yīng)該選一個我敬重的科學(xué)家 | |
0,0:01:37.07, | You know, someone with a pleasing voice |
一個聲線悅耳動聽 | |
0,0:01:39.60, | and symmetrical facial features. |
五官均勻?qū)ΨQ的人 | |
0,0:01:42.04, | Is he talking about himself? |
他是在說他自己嗎 | |
0,0:01:43.32, | If he's talking, he's talking about himself. |
他說話時 都是在說自己 | |
0,0:01:46.78, | I just know how much Professor Proton touched me as a child, |
我只知道質(zhì)子教授在我小時候觸碰了我心 | |
0,0:01:50.14, | and I feel that I owe it to him |
我覺得我應(yīng)該還他這份情 | |
0,0:01:52.36, | to try and touch as many children as possible. |
也該像他那樣去"觸碰"更多孩子 | |
0,0:02:00.74, | You should put that on your audition tape. |
你該把這句話放進(jìn)試鏡視頻里 | |
0,0:02:32.32, | You doing okay? |
你還好嗎 | |
0,0:02:33.69, | No, I'm very nervous. |
不 人家緊張死了 | |
0,0:02:47.45, | Where are you going? |
你要去哪里 | |
0,0:02:48.91, | Gift shop. |
禮品店 | |
0,0:02:49.55, | There is no gift shop. Sit down. |
這里沒有禮品店 給我坐下 | |
0,0:02:53.67, | This was your idea. |
這也是你自己的主意啊 | |
0,0:02:55.72, | So was having sex, and look where that got us. |
滾床單也是我的主意 你看看后果多嚴(yán)重 | |
0,0:02:59.50, | This isn't a big deal. Stop whining. |
這沒什么大不了的 別唧歪了 | |
0,0:03:02.23, | When you were in labor and I said that, you kicked me. |
你生娃時我也說過同樣的話 結(jié)果你踹了我 | |
0,0:03:06.25, | Howard Wolowitz? |
霍沃德··沃羅威茨 | |
0,0:03:10.82, | - Want me to go with you? - No. |
要我陪你進(jìn)去嗎-不用 | |
0,0:03:12.53, | - I'll be fine. - Yeah, we got this. |
我沒事-對啊 我倆可以的 | |
0,0:03:14.47, | Sit down! |
給我坐下 | |
0,0:03:20.79, | Wish me luck. |
祝我好運(yùn)吧 | |
0,0:03:23.38, | Other way, buster. |
走錯方向了 小子 | |
0,0:03:31.12, | Okay, you ready? |
你準(zhǔn)備好了嗎 | |
0,0:03:32.23, | Yeah, almost. |
差不多了 | |
0,0:03:33.15, | I'm working on my facial expressions. |
我正在練習(xí)我的面部表情 | |
0,0:03:35.31, | See, uh, I've got interested. |
看 這是我燃起興致的表情 | |
0,0:03:38.44, | I've got very interested. |
這是興致高昂的表情 | |
0,0:03:41.92, | Enraged. |
暴怒的表情 | |
0,0:03:46.20, | Why would you be enraged? |
你怎么會暴怒呢 | |
0,0:03:48.23, | Hmm. Better to have it and not need it |
準(zhǔn)備要萬全 平日多燒香 | |
0,0:03:49.74, | than to need it and not have it. |
好過臨時抱佛腳 | |
0,0:03:52.39, | Okay. |
好吧 | |
0,0:03:56.00, | And... |
準(zhǔn)備... | |
0,0:03:56.95, | rolling. |
開拍 | |
0,0:03:58.23, | Hello. I am theoretical physicist, Dr. Sheldon Cooper, |
大家好 我是理論物理學(xué)家 謝爾頓·庫珀博士 | |
0,0:04:01.30, | auditioning for the role of Professor Proton. |
為質(zhì)子博士一角試鏡 | |
0,0:04:03.72, | Now, excuse me while I get into character. |
現(xiàn)在 請?jiān)试S我進(jìn)入角色 | |
0,0:04:09.21, | Hello. I am Professor Proton. |
大家好 我是質(zhì)子教授 | |
0,0:04:12.97, | And today, boys and girls, |
今天 孩子們 | |
0,0:04:14.49, | we're going to have fun with science. |
我們要一起進(jìn)入有趣的科學(xué)世界 | |
0,0:04:16.49, | Did you know you could calculate the mass of an electron |
你知道可以用手邊的家庭用品 | |
0,0:04:18.90, | using household items? It's true. |
計(jì)算出電子的質(zhì)量嗎 真的可以呢 | |
0,0:04:20.94, | All you'll need is a pencil, some paper, |
你只需要一支鉛筆 一些紙 | |
0,0:04:23.09, | dry ice, rubbing alcohol, |
干冰 外用酒精 | |
0,0:04:25.02, | and a spool of 50-micron-thick cobalt-60 wire. |
和一卷50微米細(xì)的鈷60線軸 | |
0,0:04:30.08, | And, remember, don't put it in your mouth, |
要記得 別把線軸放進(jìn)嘴里 | |
0,0:04:32.30, | or instead of becoming a scientist, |
不然你沒變成科學(xué)家 | |
0,0:04:33.80, | you'll become wildly radioactive. |
就先變成放射狂人了 | |
0,0:04:37.68, | Hang on. I have a question. |
等一下 我有個問題 | |
0,0:04:39.27, | Do you have any experiments that aren't life-threatening? |
你有其他沒有致命危險的實(shí)驗(yàn)嗎 | |
0,0:04:42.49, | Come on! That was a perfect take, and you ruined it. |
不是吧 人家拍得好好的 全被你毀了 | |
0,0:04:46.11, | Oh, look! Hey, I did need enraged. |
你看 我暴怒的表情用上了 | |
0,0:04:54.04, | - Really hurts, huh? - No. |
看來真的很痛啊-不痛 | |
0,0:04:55.65, | He's just saying, "Ow can these prices be so low"" |
他只是在說"哎喲 這價格太劃算了" | |
0,0:05:00.71, | It's gonna be okay. A day or two of rest, |
別擔(dān)心 只需休息一兩天就好 | |
0,0:05:02.70, | and you'll be fine. |
你會好起來的 | |
0,0:05:04.13, | You know nothing about Jewish people. |
那你真是不懂戲精猶太人了 | |
0,0:05:10.44, | Um, let me go check on her. |
我去看看她 | |
0,0:05:13.98, | Okay, uh, this is a bit awkward. |
好了 現(xiàn)在有一點(diǎn)小尷尬了 | |
0,0:05:16.20, | It says here that I need to check the area |
手冊上寫我需要檢查一下手術(shù)部位的 | |
0,0:05:18.37, | for redness and swelling. |
發(fā)紅和腫脹情況 | |
0,0:05:22.52, | You know what? It hurts so much, go ahead. |
我已經(jīng)痛到麻木了 隨你便吧 | |
0,0:05:27.71, | So you see, boys and girls, |
所以孩子們 | |
0,0:05:29.18, | H, or helicity, is the natural variable to use relativistically |
H 也就是螺旋性 是使用相對論的自然變量 | |
0,0:05:34.33, | is defined as S dot P, divided by the magnitude of P. |
S·P 再除以P的量 | |
0,0:05:38.02, | So the next time someone on the playground tells you |
所以下次如果操場上有人告訴你 | |
0,0:05:40.41, | you can only use integral values for the matrix |
你只能用整數(shù)值來 | |
0,0:05:42.65, | that determines the spin of the antiproton, |
決定反質(zhì)子的自旋 | |
0,0:05:44.52, | you stop being friends with that kid, |
別和那孩子做朋友 | |
0,0:05:45.99, | cause he's going nowhere. |
因?yàn)樗隙ǔ刹涣瞬?/td> | |
0,0:05:51.30, | Until next week, this is Professor Proton saying, |
我們下周再會 質(zhì)子教授跟大家說 | |
0,0:05:54.04, | 1.00001E+22 |
0,0:06:03.01, | That's "Bye" in ASCII binary, |
是美國信息交換標(biāo)準(zhǔn)代碼二進(jìn)制數(shù)的"拜" | |
0,0:06:05.69, | or good-binary. |
二個拜 拜拜 | |
0,0:06:15.55, | So, what do you think? |
你們覺得如何呢 | |
0,0:06:19.35, | Well, I already told him that I loved it, |
我已經(jīng)跟他說我覺得超贊了 | |
0,0:06:21.37, | but if you found it confusing or dangerous or-- |
但如果你們有人覺得說得太繞 太危險... | |
0,0:06:25.42, | I don't know-- three to four times too long, |
或我隨便舉例 比如超長了幾倍時間 | |
0,0:06:29.28, | now is the time to share. |
現(xiàn)在就可以提出你們的意見 | |
0,0:06:32.76, | I... I don't know what to say. |
我不知道說什么 | |
0,0:06:35.21, | Leonard, do you know what to say? |
萊納德 你有什么想說的嗎 | |
0,0:06:37.96, | Sheldon, uh, I thought it, uh... |
謝爾頓 我覺得呢... | |
0,0:06:40.04, | It-it looked like you were having so much fun. |
感覺視頻中的你 玩得很開心 | |
0,0:06:45.43, | That's what you used to tell me to say to Penny |
你以前也教過我用這話應(yīng)付佩妮 | |
0,0:06:47.10, | after one of her terrible plays. |
就在看完她難看的表演后教的 | |
0,0:06:52.39, | Well, what was wrong with it? |
所以問題出在哪呢 | |
0,0:06:53.91, | You know, did you find it... |
你們會覺得... | |
0,0:06:55.64, | borderline psychotic? |
快接近神經(jīng)病了嗎 | |
0,0:06:59.20, | I mean, |
我個人覺得呢 | |
0,0:06:59.66, | I liked that about it, but... |
我挺喜歡這一點(diǎn) 但... | |
0,0:07:02.09, | you guys discuss. |
請暢所欲言 | |
0,0:07:04.63, | Do you remember when you were a kid |
你還記得你小時候 | |
0,0:07:06.75, | and you'd watch Professor Proton? |
看質(zhì)子教授的節(jié)目嗎 | |
0,0:07:08.80, | Of course. |
當(dāng)然啊 | |
0,0:07:09.65, | Well, did he ever make you-- I don't know-- |
那他有過讓你覺得... 比方說... | |
0,0:07:13.36, | hate science and the people who do it? |
痛恨科學(xué)與搞科學(xué)的人嗎 | |
0,0:07:16.52, | What are you saying? |
你什么意思 | |
0,0:07:17.69, | I-I just think it would be... better |
我覺得你要想改進(jìn) | |
0,0:07:20.38, | if your contempt for children |
那你對兒童的不屑 | |
0,0:07:22.20, | wasn't so much in the foreground. |
就不能夠這么堂而皇之 | |
0,0:07:24.74, | Well, you want me to lie? |
你是要我說謊嗎 | |
0,0:07:27.32, | Well, it's not lying-- it's acting. |
這不是說謊 是演戲啊 | |
0,0:07:29.43, | Sheldon Cooper may not like kids, |
雖然謝爾頓·庫珀不愛小孩子 | |
0,0:07:31.15, | but Professor Proton loves them. |
但質(zhì)子教授很喜歡孩子啊 | |
0,0:07:33.86, | Interesting. |
有意思 | |
0,0:07:36.28, | You know, I hadn't really thought of it that way. |
我還沒用這角度想過呢 | |
0,0:07:38.27, | It-It's similar to how I'm afraid of dogs, |
這就像是我本人很怕狗 | |
0,0:07:41.98, | but my D&D character likes dogs, you know? |
但我桌游里的角色很喜歡狗一樣 | |
0,0:07:45.70, | But he's allergic, so he can't be around them. |
但他對狗過敏 所以不能接近狗狗 | |
0,0:07:49.06, | Why don't we have a dog? |
我們?yōu)槭裁催€不養(yǎng)狗 | |
0,0:07:53.99, | Hey, you can always reshoot it. |
你可以重拍一個啊 | |
0,0:07:56.01, | Mm, I suppose. |
也是啦 | |
0,0:07:57.01, | And, you know, maybe I could even get some tips |
或許這次我還能去請教 | |
0,0:07:58.91, | from someone who's acted professionally. |
有過專業(yè)演員經(jīng)歷的人 | |
0,0:08:01.54, | Sheldon, obviously, I'd be happy to help you out. |
謝爾頓 我當(dāng)然很樂意幫助你啦 | |
0,0:08:06.41, | I don't know what to say. |
我無言以對 | |
0,0:08:11.26, | Hey, Sheldon. What's up? |
謝爾頓 怎么了 | |
0,0:08:12.72, | I need an acting coach. |
我需要一個演戲教練 | |
0,0:08:15.23, | Would you give me Patrick Stewart's number? |
你能給我帕特里克·斯圖爾特的電話嗎 | |
0,0:08:15.23, | 知名杰出英國演員 也曾出演過《星際旅行: 初代》 |
0,0:08:18.78, | No. |
不能 | |
0,0:08:19.72, | Fine. I guess you can do it. |
好吧 你來教也行 | |
0,0:08:26.56, | Bernie? |
妮妮 | |
0,0:08:30.19, | Where did you get a bell? |
你從哪弄來的鈴 | |
0,0:08:31.83, | App store. |
應(yīng)用商店 | |
0,0:08:36.55, | Fun. Let me see. |
真好玩 讓我看看 | |
0,0:08:39.80, | When you catch me, you can have it back. |
等你能抓到我了再還你手機(jī) | |
0,0:08:43.54, | You want to lie down, watch a movie? |
你想躺下一起看個電影嗎 | |
0,0:08:46.22, | I can't. I got my 16-week checkup to get to, |
不行 我得去做第16周的產(chǎn)檢 | |
0,0:08:48.80, | and then I'll pick up some Chinese for dinner. |
完事后我會買中餐外賣回來當(dāng)晚飯 | |
0,0:08:50.66, | I'll take Halley with me. |
我會把哈雷帶上 | |
0,0:08:52.32, | You-you sure you're not overdoing it? |
你確定你這樣不會太累嗎 | |
0,0:08:54.15, | - No, it's fine. - Great. |
-沒事 不會的 -那太好了 | |
0,0:08:55.39, | Then maybe, instead of Chinese, |
那不如別買中餐 | |
0,0:08:56.48, | fire up the grill and throw on a couple of steaks? |
去把烤架熱了 弄幾塊牛排如何 | |
0,0:09:01.08, | Kung pao chicken, please. |
宮保雞丁 謝謝老婆大人 | |
0,0:09:06.46, | - Oh, boy. - What? |
慘了-怎么了 | |
0,0:09:07.94, | They cast the new Professor Proton. |
他們選出新的質(zhì)子教授演員了 | |
0,0:09:10.24, | Is it Sheldon? |
是謝爾頓嗎 | |
0,0:09:11.01, | Not exactly. |
不是 | |
0,0:09:12.20, | Wheaton! |
惠頓 | |
0,0:09:14.22, | It's Wil Wheaton. |
是威爾·惠頓 | |
0,0:09:26.78, | How was the doctor? |
醫(yī)生怎么說 | |
0,0:09:27.98, | Good, but I have some news. |
一切良好 但我有個事情要說 | |
0,0:09:30.34, | Don't say twins. Don't say twins. Don't say twins. |
別說是雙胞胎 別是雙胞胎 | |
0,0:09:32.11, | Don't say twins. |
別說是雙胞胎啊 | |
0,0:09:33.79, | It's not twins. |
不是雙胞胎 | |
0,0:09:34.91, | Oh. I mean, because I would have loved them both. |
我是說 我一定會超愛他們啦 | |
0,0:09:39.20, | The doctor said I was overdoing it, |
醫(yī)生說我操勞過度 | |
0,0:09:40.79, | so she put me on bed rest just to be safe. |
讓我在床上歇著保胎 | |
0,0:09:43.30, | Oh, no. |
太心疼了 | |
0,0:09:54.79, | It may not look like it, but I'm running to you! |
雖然看起來不像 但我正在朝你飛奔而去 | |
0,0:10:09.86, | Hello, Arthur. |
亞瑟 你好啊 | |
0,0:10:12.20, | What-what part of "Rest in peace" |
安息這兩個字 | |
0,0:10:15.59, | don't you understand? |
你是有哪個字不懂 | |
0,0:10:19.88, | I suppose you're here because you heard the news? |
我猜你會來是因?yàn)槟懵牭较⒘税?/td> | |
0,0:10:22.48, | Sheldon, I'm a figment of your imagination. |
謝爾頓 我是從你的想象中虛構(gòu)出來的 | |
0,0:10:24.87, | I don't hear news. |
不是老子聽到什么消息 | |
0,0:10:29.23, | You're a grumpy figment. |
真是個暴躁的虛構(gòu)體 | |
0,0:10:33.53, | Look, they're remaking your show, |
是這樣的 他們要重啟你的節(jié)目 | |
0,0:10:35.83, | and they cast Wil Wheaton as Professor Proton. |
他們選了威爾·惠頓來當(dāng)質(zhì)子教授 | |
0,0:10:39.27, | And the worst part is, he's not even a scientist. |
而最糟的地方就是 他都不是科學(xué)家 | |
0,0:10:42.64, | No, the-the worst part is, |
不 最糟的地方是 | |
0,0:10:44.43, | I'm sitting on a moist log. |
我坐在濕噠噠的木頭上 | |
0,0:10:51.34, | We have to stop this and protect your legacy. |
我們得阻止這一切 保護(hù)你名聲 | |
0,0:10:54.31, | What legacy? |
有個毛名聲啊 | |
0,0:10:55.74, | My-my last two seasons, |
我節(jié)目最后兩季 | |
0,0:10:57.33, | I was on Sunday morningn at 5:30. |
檔期是在周日早上五點(diǎn)半播出 | |
0,0:11:00.78, | We-we were beat by Davey and Goliath. |
收視率還被陶土兒童節(jié)目給打敗 | |
0,0:11:05.70, | I can't believe you don't care. |
我真不敢相信你都不在乎 | |
0,0:11:08.20, | Believe it. |
相信吧 | |
0,0:11:11.80, | Well, I care, a lot, |
但我在乎 非常在乎 | |
0,0:11:13.96, | and Wil Wheaton will rue the day he ever met me. |
威爾·惠頓絕對會后悔認(rèn)識我 | |
0,0:11:18.99, | I think that's true of most people. |
我覺得大多數(shù)人都這么覺得 | |
0,0:11:27.33, | Hi, guys. |
你們好啊 | |
0,0:11:28.44, | Wanted to check in and see how you two were doing. |
就想過來看看你們倆怎么樣了 | |
0,0:11:30.44, | We're okay. |
我們挺好 | |
0,0:11:31.32, | Yeah, hanging out in bed with my wife, |
對啊 跟我老婆賴在床上 | |
0,0:11:33.10, | thawing out some frozen peas in my pants-- |
用褲襠內(nèi)的體溫給凍豆子化凍 | |
0,0:11:35.35, | living the dream. |
宛如夢中啊 | |
0,0:11:39.14, | Oh, I'll get her. |
我去哄她吧 | |
0,0:11:40.41, | I thought Raj was helping you out. |
我以為拉杰會來幫手呢 | |
0,0:11:42.30, | No, he had to work. |
沒來 他得上班 | |
0,0:11:43.64, | Plus, he has a quota for the amount of |
再說了 關(guān)于印度仆人的玩笑 | |
0,0:11:45.69, | Indian servant jokes he can tolerate, |
他的容忍是有限的 | |
0,0:11:47.56, | and, apparently, I filled it. |
而我貌似已經(jīng)把額度用完了 | |
0,0:11:49.66, | Well, you're... I can get the baby. |
你歇著吧 我可以去哄她 | |
0,0:11:51.54, | No, Howie's got it. He's fine. |
不用了 華仔可以的 他能行 | |
0,0:11:53.29, | Right, Howie? |
對吧 華仔 | |
0,0:11:54.23, | Never better. |
比什么時候都行 | |
0,0:11:56.11, | Don't be silly. |
別傻了 | |
0,0:11:57.37, | I'll take the rest of the day off and watch Halley for you. |
我可以請假幫你們照看哈雷 | |
0,0:12:00.20, | Or we can call Stuart. |
或者我們可以打給斯圖爾特 | |
0,0:12:01.81, | I'm sure he could close up the store, |
我敢說他肯定會馬上關(guān)店 | |
0,0:12:03.19, | hop on a bus, and be here in no time. |
跳上公交車 飛奔來這里 | |
0,0:12:05.47, | He does love the bus. |
他的確很愛公交車 | |
0,0:12:08.70, | Okay, hang on. |
等下 | |
0,0:12:09.60, | Do you guys not trust me to take care of your baby? |
你倆是不相信我可以照看好你們的娃嗎 | |
0,0:12:14.80, | No.-No. |
不是-真不是 | |
0,0:12:16.34, | So I-I guess... |
我覺得還是... | |
0,0:12:18.44, | no. |
不行 | |
0,0:12:22.32, | It's not that we don't trust you-- it's just... |
不是我們不信任你 只是... | |
0,0:12:24.23, | you don't seem like much of a baby person. |
你看起來不太像是喜歡小娃娃的人 | |
0,0:12:27.63, | I can watch your stupid baby, okay? |
我能照看好你們的傻逼娃娃 好嗎 | |
0,0:12:31.83, | If she cries, I will pick her up. |
如果她哭了 我會抱她起來 | |
0,0:12:33.90, | If she's hungry, I'll give her a bottle. |
如果她餓了 我會給她熱奶 | |
0,0:12:35.91, | And if she poops, I'll light some incense. |
如果她拉粑粑了 我會點(diǎn)上熏香 | |
0,0:12:39.83, | It would be a big help. |
那可真是幫了大忙了 | |
0,0:12:41.42, | Okay. Thank you. |
好吧 謝謝你 | |
0,0:12:42.75, | Trust me, you guys have nothing to worry about. |
相信我 你們倆絕對可以放一百個心 | |
0,0:12:45.14, | You know, back in Nebraska, |
當(dāng)年在我們老家 | |
0,0:12:46.36, | I raised all our baby pigs |
我們家的小豬仔 | |
0,0:12:47.65, | right until the day they were slaughtered. |
都是我一手養(yǎng)大到可以送去宰了 | |
0,0:12:49.48, | So, unless your baby's made of breakfast meat, |
所以除非你們娃是早餐肉做的 | |
0,0:12:52.56, | she's fine. |
否則她好著呢 | |
0,0:12:56.73, | Would you ever get a vasectomy? |
你有天會去做結(jié)扎手術(shù)嗎 | |
0,0:12:58.42, | Uh, in case you haven't noticed, |
或許你沒有注意到 | |
0,0:13:00.19, | Indians aren't too big on birth control. |
印度人不是很喜歡計(jì)劃生育 | |
0,0:13:03.52, | There's probably, like, a million more of us |
很可能從我們開始這話題到現(xiàn)在 | |
0,0:13:04.88, | since we started this conversation. |
印度又多了一百萬人口 | |
0,0:13:10.26, | You okay? |
你還好吧 | |
0,0:13:11.20, | No. |
不好 | |
0,0:13:12.11, | No, all these comments online about Wil, |
網(wǎng)上所有關(guān)于威爾的評論 | |
0,0:13:14.61, | they're nothing but supportive and kind. |
一水兒全是支持和好話 | |
0,0:13:17.81, | Where's the mean, snarky Internet |
那個毒舌刻薄的互聯(lián)網(wǎng)哪去了 | |
0,0:13:19.29, | that shows up every time I get a haircut? |
怎么每次我剪完頭發(fā)它就出現(xiàn)呢 | |
0,0:13:23.14, | You know that's us, right? |
你知道毒舌刻薄的是我們 對吧 | |
0,0:13:28.36, | Well, luckily, I got the number of the company |
幸運(yùn)的是 我搞到了那家 | |
0,0:13:30.65, | who's trying to reboot the show, |
試圖重啟這節(jié)目公司的電話 | |
0,0:13:32.00, | so I need you all to call and register your displeasure. |
所以我需要你們都打去表達(dá)你們的不滿 | |
0,0:13:34.78, | Sheldon, no one's gonna do that. |
謝爾頓 沒人會這么做 | |
0,0:13:36.13, | Not true. |
有哦 | |
0,0:13:36.87, | I know of three calls they've received already: |
我知道已經(jīng)有三個人打去表達(dá)不滿了 | |
0,0:13:38.97, | a-a Southern gentleman, |
一位是南方紳士 | |
0,0:13:40.52, | um, a Cockney chimney sweep, |
一位是倫敦?zé)焽枨鍜吖?/td> | |
0,0:13:43.44, | and, uh, |
還有一位是 | |
0,0:13:44.25, | Mr. T, hmm? |
T先生 | |
0,0:13:46.52, | Who-- spoiler alert-- |
這位先生 劇透一下 | |
0,0:13:47.99, | pities the fool who tries to reboot that show. |
可憐那位試圖重啟這節(jié)目的傻瓜 | |
0,0:13:51.35, | What about tiresome lunatic with a bad haircut? |
那個發(fā)型糟糕的無聊瘋子呢 | |
0,0:13:53.49, | Has he called yet? |
他怎么沒打去 | |
0,0:13:55.70, | Come on. |
拜托 | |
0,0:13:56.52, | How many times have we banded together |
多少次我們團(tuán)結(jié)起來 | |
0,0:13:58.27, | to try to save a show that we loved? |
一起去拯救我們熱愛的節(jié)目 | |
0,0:13:59.94, | L-Let's shake things up and try to kill one. |
這次我們改變套路 把這節(jié)目扼殺在搖籃中 | |
0,0:14:03.65, | Isn't the important thing that there's a show |
有個能讓孩子喜歡科學(xué)的節(jié)目 | |
0,0:14:05.51, | to get kids excited about science? |
難道不重要嗎 | |
0,0:14:07.68, | Who cares about kids and what they like? |
誰在乎小孩和他們喜歡什么啊 | |
0,0:14:10.34, | This is about me |
這事關(guān)我 | |
0,0:14:11.42, | and something I liked when-when I was a kid. |
和我還是個孩子時喜歡的節(jié)目 | |
0,0:14:16.06, | What if the reboot is great? |
萬一節(jié)目重啟很成功呢 | |
0,0:14:17.97, | That's even worse. |
那就更糟了 | |
0,0:14:19.21, | If-if I like it, |
如果我喜歡它 | |
0,0:14:20.20, | I'll feel like I'm being disloyal to Arthur. |
感覺就像背叛了亞瑟 | |
0,0:14:22.37, | He was a mentor and a friend, |
他是我的導(dǎo)師和朋友 | |
0,0:14:24.52, | and I won't toss him aside for some Hollywood pretty boy |
我不會為了好萊塢某個帥哥 比如威爾·惠頓 | |
0,0:14:27.25, | like Wil Wheaton. |
而拋棄他 | |
0,0:14:29.98, | It's hard to argue with him. |
他的話很難反駁啊 | |
0,0:14:31.20, | Because he makes no sense? Yeah. |
因?yàn)樗静恢v理嗎 的確是 | |
0,0:14:36.02, | This is actually kind of nice, |
這感覺其實(shí)挺好的 | |
0,0:14:37.67, | you and me getting to spend a couple days in bed together. |
你我有機(jī)會一起在床上賴幾天 | |
0,0:14:40.93, | Yeah. Pretty soon, we're gonna have |
是啊 很快我們家 | |
0,0:14:42.26, | two crying babies in the house. |
就會有兩個哇哇叫的寶寶了 | |
0,0:14:44.96, | I'm glad my balls hurt. It's all their fault. |
我很高興我蛋疼 因?yàn)槿撬鼈兊腻e | |
0,0:14:50.38, | Well, let's just enjoy this quiet time |
讓我們一起享受這寧靜的時光 | |
0,0:14:52.17, | while we still got it. |
趁現(xiàn)在還有機(jī)會 | |
0,0:14:53.42, | Yeah. |
是啊 | |
0,0:14:56.57, | Yeah, it is really quiet. |
但這也太安靜了吧 | |
0,0:14:59.34, | You think Penny's doing okay? |
你覺得佩妮能應(yīng)付得來嗎 | |
0,0:15:01.89, | Penny, everything all right?! |
佩妮 一切還好嗎 | |
0,0:15:07.08, | Hey. All good. |
一切都好 | |
0,0:15:07.81, | Dipped her pacifier in a little bourbon, she conked right out. |
往她奶嘴上沾了點(diǎn)酒 她立馬昏睡過去了 | |
0,0:15:13.56, | I hope you're joking. |
希望你是在開玩笑 | |
0,0:15:14.87, | Of course I'm joking. I don't share my bourbon. |
當(dāng)然是開玩笑啊 我才不會分享我的酒呢 | |
0,0:15:20.10, | She's joking. |
她在開玩笑 | |
0,0:15:22.28, | Definitely. |
肯定是 | |
0,0:15:24.48, | Probably. |
應(yīng)該吧 | |
0,0:15:29.56, | Wil Wheaton. Wil Wheaton. |
威爾·惠頓 威爾·惠頓 | |
0,0:15:32.69, | This is Sheldon, by the way. |
對了 我是謝爾頓 | |
0,0:15:37.22, | Hi, Sheldon. |
謝爾頓 | |
0,0:15:38.44, | Here, I found this pizza flyer in your fence. |
給 我在你的柵欄發(fā)現(xiàn)這張披薩傳單 | |
0,0:15:41.92, | Thank you. |
謝謝 | |
0,0:15:42.87, | Okay, now you owe me a favor. |
現(xiàn)在你欠我個人情 | |
0,0:15:46.12, | Turn down the role of Professor Proton. |
你去拒演質(zhì)子教授 | |
0,0:15:48.90, | I don't think so. |
我不同意 | |
0,0:15:50.38, | You can't be Professor Proton. You're not a scientist. |
你不能當(dāng)質(zhì)子教授 你又不是科學(xué)家 | |
0,0:15:53.53, | Well, I was never on a starship, |
我也從沒上過太空星艦 | |
0,0:15:54.97, | but pretending I was bought me this house. |
但假裝自己上過讓我買下了這棟房子 | |
0,0:15:57.62, | And if I'd pretended a little longer, |
要是我假裝的時間更久 | |
0,0:15:59.26, | it would have a swimming pool. |
還能買下帶泳池的房子呢 | |
0,0:16:02.09, | Some things shouldn't be rebooted. |
有些東西就不該被重啟 | |
0,0:16:03.94, | Some things were perfect the way they were. |
有些東西本來就很完美了 | |
0,0:16:05.80, | Like the walled city of York-- it was a delight. |
比如有城墻的約克 非常美好 | |
0,0:16:08.80, | But New York? Blech. |
但新約克[紐約] 算了吧 | |
0,0:16:11.55, | Did you ever consider that maybe Arthur would be happy to know |
你有沒想過 如果亞瑟得知他的節(jié)目比他還長壽 | |
0,0:16:14.68, | that his show has outlived him? |
會很高興呢 | |
0,0:16:16.62, | I doubt it. |
我深表懷疑 | |
0,0:16:17.42, | He was kind of a mean old crank. |
他是個刻薄暴躁的臭老頭 | |
0,0:16:20.75, | Sheldon, I promise that I will work my hardest to make this show great |
謝爾頓 我保證我會努力把節(jié)目做好 | |
0,0:16:25.48, | so that a whole new generation of kids |
好讓新一代的孩子們 | |
0,0:16:27.01, | will grow up and they will be able to say |
長大后會說 | |
0,0:16:28.97, | that Professor Proton was the reason they got into science. |
是質(zhì)子教授讓他們投身科學(xué)領(lǐng)域 | |
0,0:16:35.39, | That was very persuasive. |
這番話很有說服力 | |
0,0:16:37.67, | Thanks. |
謝謝 | |
0,0:16:38.81, | But I won't be seduced by your acting skills |
但我不會被你的演技 | |
0,0:16:40.85, | nor your movie star charisma. |
或電影明星魅力所誘惑 | |
0,0:16:45.07, | There's only one Professor Proton, |
質(zhì)子教授只有一個 | |
0,0:16:46.62, | and he had neither of those things. |
而他絕沒有上述兩種特質(zhì) | |
0,0:16:49.39, | I'll give you one more chance to bow out. |
我再給你一次機(jī)會退出 | |
0,0:16:52.65, | Or what? |
不然怎樣 | |
0,0:16:55.79, | When we first met, we were enemies, |
我們初次見面時 你我是敵人 | |
0,0:16:57.94, | but we worked through that and we became friends. |
但我們解決了矛盾 成為了朋友 | |
0,0:17:01.43, | Do you really want to go back? |
你真想回到當(dāng)初嗎 | |
0,0:17:03.61, | Honestly, it doesn't feel very different. |
老實(shí)說 感覺沒什么不同 | |
0,0:17:10.17, | I'm not leaving! |
我不會走的 | |
0,0:17:11.62, | All right, I'm gonna sic my dog on you. |
好吧 那我就放狗出來咬你 | |
0,0:17:15.03, | You don't have a dog. |
你又沒有養(yǎng)狗 | |
0,0:17:16.73, | Yes, I do. |
有的 | |
0,0:17:19.08, | Ugh, I can't tell if you're lying-- |
我分辨不出你是否在說謊 | |
0,0:17:20.33, | you're such a good actor! |
你演技太高超了 | |
0,0:17:26.32, | Hey, how you doing? |
你好嗎 | |
0,0:17:27.77, | What are you doing here? |
你怎么來了 | |
0,0:17:29.58, | Oh, I just came by, you know, |
我就順路過來看看 | |
0,0:17:31.84, | to see if you need any help. |
看你是否需要幫忙 | |
0,0:17:34.43, | Howard and Bernadette asked you to check up on me. |
霍華德和伯納黛特派你來監(jiān)督我 | |
0,0:17:36.33, | That is not entirely true. |
這話不全對 | |
0,0:17:38.62, | So did Leonard and... everybody. |
還有萊納德和 所有人 | |
0,0:17:42.31, | How irresponsible do you all think I am? |
你們是覺得我有多不負(fù)責(zé)任啊 | |
0,0:17:44.67, | We don't think you're irresponsible. |
我們不覺得你不負(fù)責(zé)任啊 | |
0,0:17:46.87, | We think you're... |
我們只是覺得你... | |
0,0:17:48.87, | fun-loving. |
喜愛玩耍 | |
0,0:17:51.27, | That is just a nice word for "Irresponsible." |
這只是"不負(fù)責(zé)任"好聽一點(diǎn)的說法 | |
0,0:17:54.62, | You might be more on the ball than we thought. |
看來你比我們想的要機(jī)智 | |
0,0:18:00.35, | I'm getting a little hungry. |
我有點(diǎn)餓了 | |
0,0:18:01.96, | Want me to get it this time? |
這次我來吧 | |
0,0:18:03.32, | That'd be great. |
那再好不過了 | |
0,0:18:08.92, | This is fun. |
真好玩 | |
0,0:18:10.21, | And now you also get to see an annoyed blonde walk into the room. |
你也能看到一個氣鼓鼓的金發(fā)妞走進(jìn)來 | |
0,0:18:15.31, | What? |
干嘛 | |
0,0:18:17.79, | Can you get us a little snack? |
能給我們拿點(diǎn)零食嗎 | |
0,0:18:19.25, | You sure you don't want your spy to do it? |
不叫你們的間諜去拿嗎 | |
0,0:18:22.03, | What are you talking about? |
你在說什么呢 | |
0,0:18:23.14, | You really don't trust me? You had to have Amy stop by? |
你們真的很不信任我 還讓艾米過來看看 | |
0,0:18:26.03, | - We trust you. - Yeah. |
我們信任你-是啊 | |
0,0:18:27.86, | You were a terrible waitress, |
你是個糟糕的服務(wù)員 | |
0,0:18:29.28, | and we still asked you to get us a snack. |
我們還是叫你給我們拿零食了啊 | |
0,0:18:35.16, | Excuse me while I go take care of your baby. |
失陪一下 我要去照顧你們的寶寶 | |
0,0:18:37.22, | Then I'll bring you your snack, |
然后我會拿零食給你們 | |
0,0:18:38.33, | and you can insult me some more. |
到時你們就可以繼續(xù)羞辱我了 | |
0,0:18:42.00, | I don't know about you, |
不知道你怎么想 | |
0,0:18:42.87, | but I am not eating whatever she brings us. |
但我絕對不會吃她送來的食物 | |
0,0:18:47.87, | Hey, Halley. Aw, it's okay. |
哈雷 沒事的 | |
0,0:18:49.55, | Auntie Penny's here. Shh. Let's get you changed. |
佩妮阿姨來了 我?guī)湍銚Q尿布 | |
0,0:18:53.42, | Your mommy and daddy say they trust me, |
你爸媽說他們相信我 | |
0,0:18:55.14, | but they're full of the same stuff your diaper is. |
但他們滿嘴都是你尿布里現(xiàn)在包著的東西 | |
0,0:18:59.89, | Now I feel bad. |
這下我內(nèi)疚了 | |
0,0:19:01.40, | Well, she never really liked me. |
反正她從沒喜歡過我 | |
0,0:19:03.43, | It's kind of nice she hates you now, too. |
現(xiàn)在她也討厭你 感覺還不賴 | |
0,0:19:06.30, | Aw, but I'm here for you, |
但你有我呢 | |
0,0:19:07.84, | and I would never let anything happen to you, |
我不會讓你受到任何傷害 | |
0,0:19:09.70, | because your Auntie Penny loves you so much. |
因?yàn)榕迥莅⒁陶娴暮脨酆脨勰?/td> | |
0,0:19:13.11, | Mama. |
媽媽 | |
0,0:19:22.07, | Was that her first word? |
那是她第一個詞嗎 | |
0,0:19:23.32, | Mama. |
媽媽 | |
0,0:19:26.52, | Uh, no. No, baby. I'm not your mama. |
不不 寶寶 我不是你媽媽 | |
0,0:19:29.14, | Your mama's the nice lady we're gonna go see right now |
你媽媽是我們現(xiàn)在要去見的那位善良女士 | |
0,0:19:31.70, | so I can rub this in her face. |
這樣我就能在她面前嘚瑟啦 | |
0,0:19:35.49, | Do you hear that, suckers? |
聽見了嗎 你倆賤人 | |
0,0:19:36.76, | She called me Mama! |
她叫我媽媽 | |
0,0:19:53.41, | Hello, Arthur. |
你好 亞瑟 | |
0,0:19:55.39, | You-you know, |
你知道 | |
0,0:19:57.97, | we could... we could also meet in-in a deli. |
我們 我們也可以在熟食店見面的 | |
0,0:20:05.12, | I'm sorry to say that I failed you. |
很抱歉告訴你 我辜負(fù)了你 | |
0,0:20:07.39, | I tried to stop Wil Wheaton being Professor Proton, |
我試過阻止威爾·惠頓出演質(zhì)子教授 | |
0,0:20:10.08, | but I couldn't. |
但我沒能做到 | |
0,0:20:12.16, | See, now, that's-that's the kind of thing |
知道嗎 這種事情 | |
0,0:20:14.99, | you could tell a fella over a... |
很適合邊吃熏牛肉三明治 | |
0,0:20:19.14, | pastrami sandwich. |
邊告訴對方的 | |
0,0:20:25.59, | Well, don't worry. |
別擔(dān)心 | |
0,0:20:27.11, | He's now on my enemies list forever. |
現(xiàn)在他會永遠(yuǎn)在我的仇家名單里 | |
0,0:20:29.66, | He's totally cut off. |
我跟他永世絕交 | |
0,0:20:31.78, | Interesting. |
有意思 | |
0,0:20:33.14, | Can-can anyone sign-sign up for that list? |
其他人能去哪登記上那份名單呢 |
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