生活大爆炸 第五季:第15集 謝爾頓萊納德友盡(上)
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What the hell?
搞毛呀
Emergency preparedness drill.
緊急情況預(yù)防演習(xí)
Oh, no, come on!
別啊 開玩笑吧
Yeah, you know how it works. Once a quarter, keep our readiness up.
你懂的 每三個(gè)月一次 保持警惕
Now, rise and shine, sleepy head.Half the town is probably dead.
快起床吧 瞌睡蟲 城里半數(shù) 死翹翹
I have to get a lock for my door.
我一定要給我的門弄個(gè)鎖
I think you'll like the drill tonight.I've tried to make it fun.
我覺得你會喜歡今晚的演習(xí) 我在寓教于樂方面花了不少心思
Each of these cards contains a detailed scenario of a possible apocalyptic event.
每張卡片上都詳細(xì)介紹了一個(gè)場景 每個(gè)場景都代表一種可能的末日級災(zāi)難
Everything from wild fires to a surprise invasion by Canada.
囊括了從森林大火 到加拿大的突然入侵
Pick a catastrophe, any catastrophe.
選個(gè)災(zāi)難吧 隨便哪個(gè)都行
Sheldon, Canada is not going to invade California.
謝爾頓 加拿大攻不到加州的
Yeah, really? You think those hippies in Washington and Oregon can stop them?
真的嗎 你真覺得華盛頓州和俄勒岡州的 那幫膿包能擋得住加拿大人嗎
Fine.
好吧
All righty! An 8.2 magnitude earthquake devastates Pasadena,
好嘞 一場8.2級的地震摧毀了帕薩迪納市
reducing mighty edifices to dust,engulfing the city in flames.The streets flow with blood and echo with the cries of the wounded. Oh, excellent choice.
高樓大廈被夷為平地 火災(zāi)在全城蔓延 街道上血流成河 遍地傷者哀嚎不已 選得好啊
Now, put on your hardhat and safety vest.
快戴上安全帽 穿上安全背心
Oh, fun.
真有意思啊
I get to spend another night in front of our apartment dressed like one of the Village People.
我又得穿得像 村民 組合里的某位成員一樣 整晚上傻站在樓前了 70年代的經(jīng)典男子演唱組合其中一位經(jīng)常扮成建筑工人
You make that joke every three months.I still don't get it.
你每三個(gè)月就得這么吐一次槽 可我還是沒看出槽點(diǎn)
Leonard... wait. What are you doing?
萊納德 等下 你在干嘛呢
I don't know, what am I doing?
我也不知道 怎么了
Look around you there's hypothetical broken glass everywhere.
你看看周圍 到處都是可能存在的碎玻璃
Really? You're going to face Armageddon without your orthotics?Your choice.
不是吧 不帶上足部矯形器就去最終決戰(zhàn)嗎 你自己看著辦
Uh oh, hypothetical aftershock!And that's why we wear hardhats.
可能的余震來了所以要戴安全帽嘛
Our whole universe was in a hot dense state,then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion tarted.Wait...
我們的宇宙進(jìn)入了極熱的高濃度狀態(tài)，后來，140億年前它開始擴(kuò)張。等等……
The Earth began to cool,the autotrophs began to drool,neanderthals developed tools, we built a wall (we built the pyramids),
地球開始冷卻，自養(yǎng)生物開始繁殖,穴居人學(xué)會使用工具，我們開始建墻（我們還建了金字塔）
Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries,That all started with the big bang!bang!
數(shù)學(xué)、科學(xué)、歷史解開了宇宙之謎。這一切從宇宙大爆炸開始。
Check it out press release from NASA.
你看這個(gè) 來自宇航局的新聞
Expedition 31 will launch this spring to the International Space Station.
第31批考察隊(duì)將于今年春天 前往國際空間站
Crew members will include Commander Tom 'Tombo' Johnson,Astronaut Mike 'Supernova' Novacelik and Payload Specialist Howard Wolowitz.
隊(duì)員包括中校 湯包 湯姆·約翰遜 宇航員 超新星 邁克·諾瓦里克 和隨行專家霍華德·沃羅威茨
This is going right into my synagogue's newsletter.
這條肯定要上我的猶太教堂日報(bào)
Dude, if you're going to be an astronaut,you need to pick a cool nickname.
哥們兒 如果你打算當(dāng)宇航員的話 你得取個(gè)霸氣的綽號啊
I don't get to pick it. The other guys have to give it to me.
才不用我來取呢 別人會給我取的
Oh. If I had one, it would be Brown Dynamite.
如果我有綽號的話 肯定是 勁爆巧克力
Are you not listening to me? The other astronauts have to give you your nickname.
你在聽我說話嗎 綽號只能是別人幫你取
Are you not looking at me?I am Brown Dynamite.
你沒在看著我嗎 我就是 勁爆巧克力
Why do you put six sugars in your coffee?
你為啥往咖啡里加了六包糖
Because the cafeteria doesn't offer little packets of methamphetamine.
因?yàn)槭程美锊惶峁?小包的甲基苯丙胺(可合成興奮劑)
Emergency drill night last night, huh?
昨晚是緊急事件演習(xí)對吧
Uh huh. How'd you do?
對啊 你怎么樣
I'll tell you exactly how he did.
我來告訴你他怎么樣
Readiness: unsatisfactory.
是否準(zhǔn)備充分：差強(qiáng)人意
Follows direction: barely.
是否聽從指揮：剛愎自用
Attitude: a little too much.
是否帶有情緒：牢騷略多
Overall: not only will he probably die in a fiery inferno,his incessant whining would most certainly spoil everyone else's day.
綜上所述 他不僅會在災(zāi)難中死得很慘 他曠日持久的牢騷會毀掉別人的好心情
You know what, I'm so tired, I can't even think straight.I'm going home.
我太累了 腦子都不轉(zhuǎn)了 我回去了
Will one of you guys give this nutbag a ride back later?
你們哪位愿意待會兒送這位二逼青年回家
You can't go home.You have to take me to the dentist at 4:00.
你不能回去 你四點(diǎn)鐘還得送我去看牙醫(yī)
Oh... can't you take the bus to the dentist?
你就不能自己坐公交去嗎
Of course I can. It's coming back,that's the problem.
我當(dāng)然能 問題是回來的時(shí)候 有麻醉劑的后續(xù)作用 這才是麻煩的地方
Two years ago,after a deep gum cleaning, I thought I got on a bus but somehow wound up on a booze cruise to Mexico.
兩年前 在一次全面牙齦清洗過后 我以為我上了公交車 醒來卻發(fā)現(xiàn)自己在墨西哥烈酒游行團(tuán)車上
They put you under for a cleaning?
你洗個(gè)牙齦都得打麻藥啊
Yeah, they have to I'm a biter.
沒辦法 我急起來會咬人
Whatever, Sheldon. I'm exhausted.I'm not taking you to the dentist.
我不管了 謝爾頓 我累得不行了 我沒法帶你去看牙醫(yī)了
Wrong, sir.Wrong. Under Section 37 B of the Roommate Agreement Miscellaneous Duties you are obligated to take me to the dentist.
不行啊 哥們兒 不行 根據(jù)室友協(xié)議的第37條B款 雜項(xiàng)職責(zé)你有義務(wù)帶我去看牙醫(yī)
See? It's right here after providing a confirmation sniff on questionable dairy products.
看到了吧 就在 為可能壞掉的乳制品 提供氣味確認(rèn) 這條的后面
You know what, I am sick of the Roommate Agreement.
你挺好 我受夠了室友協(xié)議
It's ridiculous. I'm your roommate, not your chauffeur.
傻透了 我是你的室友 不是你的司機(jī)
You know, I had better things to do yesterday than drive you all the way to the good model train store in Garden Grove because the one in Pasadena has gotten too big for its britches.
我昨天本來有別的事情要做 結(jié)果卻得載你去加登格羅夫的一家不錯(cuò)火車模型店 就因?yàn)榕了_迪納的那家服務(wù)態(tài)度太傲慢了
Well, it has.Ask anybody.
確實(shí)很傲慢 你去問問啊
I don't care. I'm done.
我才不管呢 我受夠了
Hold on.
等下
Are you saying that you want to invoke Clause 209?
你是說你想使用第209條嗎
I don't know what that is,but if it means I can go home and sleep, then yes.
我不知道那條是啥 但如果那條能讓我回家睡覺的話 我就用
Think carefully here.Clause 209 suspends our friendship,and strips down the Roommate Agreement to its bare essentials.
你先想清楚 第209條會終止我們的友誼 并解除室友協(xié)議 僅剩一些基本條款
Our responsibilities toward each other would only be rent, utilities and a perfunctory chin jut of recognition as we pass in the hall.'Sup?
我們對彼此的義務(wù)僅限于交房租 共用生活設(shè)施 和在大廳里見面時(shí)出于認(rèn)識而冷漠地抬個(gè)頭 喲
Where do I sign?
我要在哪簽名
Right here.
就這里
Use your finger.
用手指即可
There. Done. All right. That's it.
簽好了 好的 到此結(jié)束
We are now no longer companions,boon or otherwise.
從此你走你的陽關(guān)道 我過我的獨(dú)木橋
We are not merely acquaintances.To amend the words of Toy Story You've got a friend in me You have not got a friend in me.
我們現(xiàn)在連點(diǎn)頭之交都不是 修改一下《玩具總動員》的金句 我是你的好朋友 (源自《玩具總動員》的主題曲) 我不是你的好朋友
I'm gonna go home and take a nap.
我要回家小睡了
Yeah, well, tell it to someone who cares.
跟在乎的人說去吧
I got pretty exciting NASA news today.
今天我接到個(gè)激動人心的宇航局消息
Next week I fly to Houston for orientation and zero gravity elimination drills.
下周我就要飛去休斯頓 進(jìn)行空間定向能力和零重力排便訓(xùn)練
What does that mean?
那是指什么
He's gonna learn to poop in space.
他要去學(xué)習(xí)如何在太空里拉屎
Open the pod bay doors, HAL.
打開分離艙門 哈爾 出自電影 2001太空漫游 的經(jīng)典臺詞 (哈爾是一臺人工智能化電腦)
Maybe your nickname should be Brown Dynamite.
或許你的綽號才應(yīng)該叫 勁爆屎顆粒
Hello, dear friends.
朋友們好啊
And Dr. Hofstadter.
還有霍夫斯塔德博士
'Sup?
喲
'Sup?
喲
My apologies.I would've been here sooner,but the bus kept stopping for other people to get on it.
不好意思 我本來可以早點(diǎn)回來 可那巴士老是停下來載客
I saved you a dumpling.
我給你留了個(gè)餃子
Oh, your concern for me is touching.It will serve you well when you take me to the dentist tomorrow.
你對我的關(guān)心真叫人感動 等你明天載我去看牙醫(yī) 我再好好報(bào)答你
I'm sorry, Sheldon, I'm busy.
對不起 謝爾頓 我很忙
I'm right in the middle of my addiction study.
我正忙著做癮疾研究
I've got a lab full of alcoholic monkeys,and tomorrow's the day we switch them to O'Doul's.
整個(gè)實(shí)驗(yàn)室都是酗酒的猴子 明天正好要讓它們改喝無酒精啤酒
You're my girlfriend and you're not going to cater to my every need? Oh, where'd the magic go?
你是我的女朋友 居然不迎合我的每一個(gè)需求 哎 愛情的魔力都到哪里去了
Sheldon, that's not what girlfriends are for.
謝爾頓 女朋友不是這么用的
Although, you don't use them for what they're for,so what do I know?
不過 她們真正的用處你也用不到 所以我也不知道了
Howard doesn't make me do his shopping or take him to the dentist or pick up his dry cleaning, right?
霍華德就不會叫我?guī)退I東西 送他去看牙醫(yī) 幫他拿干洗的衣服 對吧
Absolutely.
那當(dāng)然
But when Ma's hips give out, you're up, kid.
不過等我媽行動不便了 就由你頂上
Well, if Amy's too busy, that gives the rest of you an opportunity to make my life easier,
既然艾米太忙 就給你們一個(gè) 讓我生活更輕松的機(jī)會吧
thus assuring yourselves a footnote in my memoirs,tentatively entitled You're Welcome, Mankind.
我保證帶我去的人 能在我那本暫命名為 《不客氣 凡夫俗子》的回憶錄里留一個(gè)注腳
All right, then,just shout when you hear the task you want to undertake.
好了 聽到你想接的任務(wù)時(shí)就吼一聲
Uh, dentist.
看牙醫(yī)
Okay, w we can circle back to that one.
沒事 我們回頭再說這個(gè)
Um, well, who wants to take me Wednesday morning to get new heels put on my dress shoes?
誰想在星期三早上 帶我去換紳士鞋的鞋跟
Anyone? Oh. That one had hoot written all over it.
誰想去帶我去換紳士鞋的鞋跟 看來這個(gè)沒人喜歡
Um, all right, uh, dermatologist.
好吧 去看皮膚科醫(yī)生
Allergist.
過敏癥醫(yī)生
Podiatrist.
足科醫(yī)生
Supercuts?
超級理發(fā)師(理發(fā)店)
Okay, okay, here's a fun one.Um, I need a new picture frame and I have a hankering for Swedish meatballs. Who wants to spend the day with me at IKEA?
好吧 還有個(gè)好玩的 我要買個(gè)新相框 而且我想去吃瑞典肉丸 誰想那天陪我去宜家(瑞典家居品牌)
Their meatballs are pretty good.
他們的肉丸很好吃
What's that? Nothing, nothing.
你說什么 沒有 我什么都沒說
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