Yeah. I've got eight pounds of salmon that's about to go bad.
Not really.
Damn it.Should have liberated the iffy chicken.
Star Wars on Bluray.
Not on Bluray.
Only twice on Bluray.
Oh, Leonard.
I know, it's highresolution sadness.
You know, we haven't spent time alone together since we broke up.
Oh, it's not a date, Leonard.It's just a man and a woman hanging out,not having sex at the end of the night.
Sounds like most of my dates.
Well, he's smart and crazy enough,he may have actually created a monster.
There's a bird outside the window, and he won't go away.That is the hell that is going on.
It's called ornithophobia.And someday it will be recognized as a true disability,and the landlord will be required by law to put a giant net over the building.
Which is unfortunate, because I have a fear of nets.
Movies, yes.
Great. I'll see you later.
And remember, he's more afraid of you than you are of him.
That doesn't help.
No, I was talking to the bird.
Go away, bird. Go away, bird. Go away, bird.
Sheldon, just ignore him.
Good idea. Attention is what birds want.
Oh, much better. All right.
Now I'll just get along with my life.
Make a pot of tea, Leonard. It's going to be a long night.
泡壺茶 萊納德 今晚要跟它抗?fàn)幍降琢?/div>
Our whole universe was in a hot dense state,then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. Wait...
我們的宇宙進(jìn)入了極熱的高濃度狀態(tài),后來(lái),140億年前它開(kāi)始擴(kuò)張。等等……
The Earth began to cool,the autotrophs began to drool,neanderthals developed tools, we built a wall (we built the pyramids),
地球開(kāi)始冷卻,自養(yǎng)生物開(kāi)始繁殖,穴居人學(xué)會(huì)使用工具,我們開(kāi)始建墻(我們還建了金字塔)
Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries,That all started with the big bang!bang!
數(shù)學(xué)、科學(xué)、歷史解開(kāi)了宇宙之謎。這一切從宇宙大爆炸開(kāi)始。
The bird's still there?
那鳥(niǎo)還沒(méi)走呢
Quick, what does a hawk sound like?
快 老鷹是怎么叫的
I don't know
我也不太清楚
Please, that's a seagull.If you're not going to help, don't help.
拜托 那是海鷗的聲音 你要是幫不上忙 就閉嘴
Sorry. Do you think I'm overdressed?
對(duì)不起 我穿得會(huì)不會(huì)太正式了
It depends on the activity.
這得看場(chǎng)合了
For a prostate exam, yes.
如果去做前列腺檢查 是有點(diǎn)正式
If you're playing Vegas, I'd add sequins.
但如果是扮維加斯 我會(huì)加一些亮片 (驚奇漫畫(huà)角色)
I'm going to the movies with Penny.I don't want her to think that I think it's a date.
我是要跟佩妮去看電影 我不想讓她認(rèn)為 我認(rèn)為是約會(huì)
Do you think it's a date?
你認(rèn)為是約會(huì)嗎
No, but she might think I think it's a date even though I don't.
不 但她會(huì)認(rèn)為我是這么認(rèn)為 但其實(shí)我不是
Or you might think she thinks you think it's a date even though she doesn't.
說(shuō)不定是你認(rèn)為她認(rèn)為你這么認(rèn)為 其實(shí)她不是
Are we overthinking this? Not at all.
我們是不是想太多了 絕對(duì)沒(méi)有
You're right. I'm fine. I'm wearing this.
你說(shuō)得對(duì) 算了 我就這么穿吧
Really? A blazer? All right.
不是吧 西裝? 好吧
Yes, hello.This is Dr. Sheldon Cooper.I'm at 2311 North Robles Avenue.I'd like to report a dangerous wild animal.
喂 你好 我是謝爾頓·庫(kù)珀博士 我住在羅夫萊斯北大街2311號(hào) 我這里有一只危險(xiǎn)的野生動(dòng)物
A blue jay.
一只藍(lán)冠鴉
I'm sorry, this is Animal Control.I don't understand the laughter.
不好意思 我找的就是動(dòng)物管理部門(mén) 我不明白你笑什么
No, the bird is not in my home.If he was in my home, I obviously would have called 911.
不 那只鳥(niǎo)不在我家里 它要是在我家里 我早就打911報(bào)警了
Sir, I have no doubt that there are things that you're frightened of.
先生 我相信你也有害怕的東西
Being stuck in a deadend public service job.
比如從事沒(méi)前途的公共服務(wù)工作
Or your wife stepping out on you because you're stuck in a deadend public service job.Or spiders.
或者你老婆背叛你 因?yàn)槟銖氖碌氖菦](méi)前途的公共服務(wù)工作 又或者你怕蜘蛛
Don't you think I tried making cat noises?
學(xué)貓叫有用的話(huà) 打電話(huà)給你干嘛
Too casual?
會(huì)不會(huì)太休閑了
For an audience with the queen, yes.
去覲見(jiàn)女王的話(huà) 是太休閑了
For an evening of passing a bottle of fortified wine around a flaming trash can, you look great.
不過(guò)晚上去著火的垃圾箱旁邊扔一瓶烈酒 你的著裝正合適
What am I thinking? Whiskers.
我想啥呢 居然沒(méi)畫(huà)胡子
Oh, hey, if we hurry, we can make the new Jennifer Aniston movie.
現(xiàn)在買(mǎi)票的話(huà) 能趕上珍妮弗·安妮斯頓的新電影
Oh, yeah, sure.There's also an amazing documentary about building a dam on a river in South America.
對(duì) 沒(méi)錯(cuò) 不過(guò)還有一場(chǎng)精彩的紀(jì)錄片講述在南美洲的一條河上建一座水壩
Okay, but the Jennifer Aniston movie has Jennifer Aniston,and she's not building a dam.
可珍妮弗·安妮斯頓的電影里有珍妮弗·安妮斯頓而且她不會(huì)建什么水壩
Can't argue with that.
這倒是真的
I'll get the tickets. Okay.
我去買(mǎi)票 好
Actually, you know what?I think it's about time I picked a movie we see.
等等 其實(shí)呢 我覺(jué)得現(xiàn)在該我挑電影了
You pick plenty of movies.
你都挑過(guò)好多次了
No. You always picked,and it was always the same.
不 都是你挑的而且每次都一樣
An hour and a half of beach houses in the rain until the woman turns around and realizes love was here all along.
前面90分鐘都在說(shuō)雨中的海濱別墅最后女主角頓時(shí)醒悟發(fā)現(xiàn)原來(lái)愛(ài)一直在身邊
Come on, that is a great movie, and it starts in ten minutes.
拜托 那電影很棒 而且還有10分鐘就開(kāi)演了
I hate those movies.
我討厭這種電影
No, you don't. Yes, I do.
你不討厭 我真的討厭
The only reason I went is because you wanted to see them,and I wanted to have sex.
我之所以以前和你一起看 是因?yàn)槟阆肟炊蚁牒湍銤L床單
To this day, I can't see a Sandra Bullock movie poster without getting both bored and aroused.
而今天 我既然不能興奮和性?shī)^還看什么桑德拉·布洛克的電影啊
Okay, so while we were going out,how often would you pretend to like things just to have sex with me?
好吧 這么說(shuō)我們約會(huì)的時(shí)候 你有多少次是假裝聽(tīng)我的其實(shí)只是為了和我滾床單
All the time.
一直都是
You're kidding.
不是吧
Does this sound familiar?I'd love to go shoe shopping with you.
那你覺(jué)得這些話(huà)耳熟不 我喜歡和你去逛街買(mǎi)鞋子
Hiking? It's great.
遠(yuǎn)足 棒極了
It' 2 a.m., of course I want to go to Korea Town and sing karaoke with your friends.Who wouldn't?
凌晨2點(diǎn)啊 我當(dāng)然想去韓國(guó)城和你們朋友唱K啦樂(lè)意之極
Okay, we were going out.You were going to get sex anyway.
好吧 我們每次約會(huì) 哪次沒(méi)有滾床單的
Really? You would have slept with me after a three hour documentary on dams?
是嗎 你要是看了三小時(shí)水壩的紀(jì)錄片 你還有性致嗎
No. No woman would.
沒(méi)有 沒(méi)女人會(huì)有
See? Now, that's the great thing.
瞧 這就是最棒的地方
We're out as friends. This is not a date.Sex is off the table.So, let's go learn how hydroelectric power might not be the environmental bargain you think it is.
我們現(xiàn)在是朋友 不是在約會(huì)滾床單沒(méi)戲 所以 我們就去看看水力發(fā)電 也許不是你想的那么環(huán)保
Sorry. Spoiler alert.
抱歉 劇透了
All right, fine.
好吧
Thanks.
謝了
Tickets are 11 bucks.
電影票十一塊
Not a date.
不是約會(huì)嘛
Come on, Sheldon, Star Wars.
快點(diǎn) 謝爾頓 來(lái)看《星球大戰(zhàn)》
I'm pushing play. I mean it.If we don't start soon, George Lucas is going to change it again.
我要按播放鍵啦 我說(shuō)真的 要是我們?cè)俨豢禳c(diǎn)看 喬治·盧卡斯又要出新版本了
This would go a lot faster if you put your trade school diploma to work and helped me set up this highfrequency tone generator.
要是你那職業(yè)學(xué)校的學(xué)歷有點(diǎn)用 就過(guò)來(lái)幫我倒騰一下這臺(tái)高音頻發(fā)生器 那我們的問(wèn)題就解決了
I have a Masters degree from M.I.T.
我可是麻省理工的碩士生
Yeah, but you've got a cando attitude and that's what's important.
好吧 你好歹有樂(lè)觀(guān)苦干的態(tài)度 這才是重點(diǎn)
I really don't get your problem with birds.
我真不懂你和鳥(niǎo)有什么仇
The question you should be asking is what is their problem with me?
你該這么問(wèn) 鳥(niǎo)對(duì)我有什么仇
My first memory: A hummingbird divebombing my stroller to get at the apple juice in my sippy cup.
我剛開(kāi)始記事起 一只蜂鳥(niǎo)俯沖進(jìn)我的嬰兒車(chē) 偷吃了我吸管杯里的蘋(píng)果汁
Hummingbirds are pretty.
蜂鳥(niǎo)很美的
Hummingbirds are the vampires of the flower world.
蜂鳥(niǎo)是鮮花界的吸血鬼
Still my first choice for an ankle tattoo.
還是我在腳踝紋身圖案的首選
Or a dolphin I go back and forth.
或是海豚 我在這兩者間猶豫不決
Age seven, a bloodthirsty chicken chases me up a tree.
我7歲時(shí) 一只喪心病狂的雞追著我爬到樹(shù)上
Age 12, a magpie tries to steal the retainer out of my mouth.
12歲時(shí) 一只喜鵲想從我嘴里搶走牙套
Age 16, a parrot in a pet store calls me fat ass.
16歲時(shí) 寵物店的一只鸚鵡罵我胖仔
Need I go on?
我還要繼續(xù)說(shuō)嗎
Yes, please. This is way better than the movie.
當(dāng)然 這可比電影有趣多了
All right, Sheldon,your bird death ray is ready.
好吧 謝爾頓 你的"殺鳥(niǎo)死光"準(zhǔn)備好了
It's not a death ray.It's just a little ultrasonic blast to scare him off.
這不是"死光" 只是弄點(diǎn)超聲波好嚇跑他
Trust me, if I had a death ray,I wouldn't be living here.I'd be in my lair enjoying the money the people of Earth gave me for not using my death ray.
相信我 如果我有"死光" 我就不會(huì)住這兒了 我會(huì)坐在用不完的錢(qián)堆上 都是人們送來(lái)賄賂我求我別用"死光"
All right, and in three,two, one.
好吧 三 二 一
That is one tough birdie.
這只小鳥(niǎo)真霸氣
Come on, you enjoyed the movie.
拜托 你明明很喜歡那電影
I saw you tearing up when the village got flooded,and everyone had to relocate.
村莊要被淹沒(méi) 所有人要搬家時(shí) 我看你都哭了
No, I was thinking how come they get to leave and I can't.
不 我是想為什么他們能走而我不行
I'm going to get some fries.You want anything?
我要去買(mǎi)點(diǎn)薯片。你要來(lái)點(diǎn)嗎
Uh, no, thanks.
不 謝了
Are you sure?You always say no, and then you eat half my fries.
你確定嗎 你每次都說(shuō)不要 卻把我的吃掉一半
I just eat the little crispy ones you don't like.
我只是吃那些酥脆的 反正你不喜歡
No, I love them. I save them for the end,but they're gone because you ate them.
不 我超喜歡 我只是留到最后吃 結(jié)果卻被你吃光光
And why did I let you eat them?
我為什么讓你吃呢
To get sex.
你想滾床單
Exactly.
沒(méi)錯(cuò)
But this is not a date.So I ask again, would you like anything?
但這不是約會(huì) 所以我再問(wèn)一次 你要來(lái)點(diǎn)什么嗎
All right, I'd like an order of fries.
好吧 給我來(lái)份薯?xiàng)l
Great. That'll be five dollars.
好極了 五塊錢(qián)
I am having the best time.
這是我有史以來(lái)最開(kāi)心的夜晚
I'm so glad you suggested we do this.
我真高興你約我出來(lái)
Oh, sorry.
不好意思
No problem.
沒(méi)關(guān)系
What you writing there?
你在寫(xiě)什么
A screenplay.
劇本
It's about a guy whose roommate is having sex and tells him to go to a bar and work on his screenplay.
敘述的是一個(gè)宅男的室友因?yàn)橐蚺?所以把他趕來(lái)酒吧寫(xiě)劇本的悲慘故事
I Hope Alex Gets Crabs: The Movie.
電影名《我希望艾力克斯染上陰虱》
It's a working title.
這只是暫定名
I'm Kevin. Oh. Penny.
我叫凱文 我叫佩妮
Nice to meet you.
幸會(huì)幸會(huì)
I'll let you get back to your date.
我就不打擾你們約會(huì)了
Oh, no, no. This isn't a date, no.
不不 我們沒(méi)在約會(huì) 完全不是
Right?
對(duì)吧
Uh... right.
對(duì)
So have you written anything I might have seen?
那你的作品有沒(méi)有我可能看過(guò)的呢
That depends. How much time do you spend on Yelp?
不好說(shuō) 你喜歡逛大眾點(diǎn)評(píng)網(wǎng)嗎
點(diǎn)擊查看 生活大爆炸第五季 更多精彩內(nèi)容