I'm not accepting the award. Why not?
Turns out the great Sheldon Cooper has stage fright. That's no reason to back out.
You know, I once got a pretty big honor in high school, and I was terrified about appearing in front of a big crowd,
The world looked pretty darn good sitting on a haystack in the back of a Ford F150 as a member of the Corn Queen's court.
Thank you. Yeah, I'll bear that in mind if I'm ever nominated for the Hillbilly Peace Prize.
Sheldon, you're being ridiculous.
Am I? Let me tell you a story. Where's 70 children when you need them?
I was 14 and graduating summa cum laude from college.
I just love how you always skip over the part where no one asks.
I was valedictorian and expected to give an address.
Even now, I can remember that moment when I walked up to the podium and looked out at the crowd.
There must have been thousands of people. My heart started pounding in my chest.
I began to hyperventilate. My vision became blurry, and before I knew it...
然后開始大口呼氣 視力漸漸模糊 還沒來得及...
Oh, dear. Oh, my God.
Sheldon? Sheldon, are you okay?Don't trample me.
Come on, Mother. You know why I can't accept the award.
With all due respect, I don't think praying will help.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You don't need to start singing it.
Yes, I'll buy it on the iTunes, Mother. Goodbye, Mother.
Hello. Sit down. We want to talk to you.
各位好 坐啊 我們想和你談?wù)?/div>
Am I in trouble? Did my mother call you?
我是有麻煩了嗎 我媽媽給你們打電話了
Just sit. We think we can help you with your stage fright.
坐就是了 我們能幫你克服怯場的問題
Oh, I doubt that. I haven't figured out a way, and I'm much smarter than all of you.
我深表懷疑 我比你們智商都高 我都沒想出辦法呢
Yes, but you're not smarter than all of us put together.
是的 可我們幾個的智商加起來肯定比你高
Oh, I'm sorry. That is what I meant.
不好意思 還是我高
Okay. Your problem is, you're trying to do this all by yourself.
好吧 你的問題是你想孤軍奮戰(zhàn)
We can help you. We can be your team. Like, uh, Professor Xavier and his XMen.
我們可以幫你 當(dāng)你的隊(duì)友 就像X教授和X戰(zhàn)警
I do like the XMen. Did I see XMen?
我確實(shí)挺喜歡《X戰(zhàn)警》我看過《X戰(zhàn)警》嗎
Yeah, we watched it last week. You said you liked it.
看過啊 我們上周才看的 你還說你喜歡呢
Oh. I say a lot of things, sweetie.
親愛的 說話又不用付錢
So, how about it, Sheldon?
怎么樣啊 謝爾頓
I don't know. If you're my XMen, what are your powers?
不好說 如果你們是X戰(zhàn)警 那你們的超能力是什么
Okay. Well, I am going to take you shopping, get you a nice suit. Might give you more confidence.
這個 我會帶你去購物 幫你選一套超贊的西裝 能讓你更自信
That's not exactly a mutation that would get you into Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters, but go on. Leonard?
確切來說這不叫變異 光憑這點(diǎn)你不可能進(jìn)到X教授專為天賦異稟的年輕人開設(shè)的學(xué)校 不過繼續(xù) 萊納德
I thought I could try to analyze you and get to the root of your anxiety.
我可以對你進(jìn)行心理分析 然后找出讓你如此焦慮的根源
What qualifies you to attempt to understand my mind?
你憑什么覺得你能讀懂我的內(nèi)心呢
My mother is a highly regarded psychiatrist, and I've been in therapy ever since she accused me of breastfeeding codependently.
我媽是一位杰出的精神病專家 而且自從她指責(zé)我過于依賴母乳開始 我就一直在接受治療
Raj says he can teach you... What did you call it?
拉杰說他可以教你 什么名字來著
I don't know some Indian meditation crap.
我記不住 一些扯淡的印度冥想
I see. Well, I assume, since the rest of you have set the bar so low, you're saving the most impressive contribution for last. Go ahead, Howard.
我懂了 由于前三位的水準(zhǔn)都嚴(yán)重不靠譜 我想你們是把最睿智的辦法放到了最后 說吧 霍華德
Dazzle me. My power is the ability to pretend like I give a damn about your piddilyass problems.
驚我一下 我的超能力就是我可以假裝我很在意你這尿頻尿急類的鬼問題
And that's 24seven, buddy.
而且我能一直裝下去 伙計(jì)
And I appreciate the pretense.
我很感激你如此做作
So, what do you say, Sheldon? Are we your XMen?
怎么樣啊 謝爾頓 我們是你的X戰(zhàn)警嗎
No. The XMen were named for the "X" in Charles Xavier.
不是 X戰(zhàn)警這名字來源于X教授的姓氏
Since I am Sheldon Cooper, you will be my CMen.
既然我叫謝爾頓·庫珀 那你們就是C戰(zhàn)警
Oh, that's not a good name.
這名字可不怎么好聽
Okay, Sheldon. I'm going to be leading you through a series of meditation exercises.
好了 謝爾頓 我將引導(dǎo)你進(jìn)行一系列的冥想練習(xí)
These methods come from the ancient gurus of India and have helped me overcome my own fears.
這些方法是從古代印度大師那里傳承下來的 也幫我克服了自己的恐懼
And yet, you can't speak to women.
可你還是不敢和女人說話
True, but thanks to meditation, I am able to stay in the same room with them without urinating.
確實(shí) 不過托冥想的福 我可以和女人呆在同一房間 而且不會被嚇到尿褲子
Now... close your eyes. Okay, but don't punch me. What?
現(xiàn)在閉上雙眼 好的 不過不許打我 什么
When I was little, my sister would say to me, "Close your eyes, you'll get a surprise,"and then she'd punch me.
小時候 我姐姐會對我說"閉上雙眼 驚喜出現(xiàn)" 然后她就會給我一拳
I'm not going to punch you.
我不會打你的
That's what my sister used to say.
我姐姐以前也這么說的
Do you want to do this or not?
你到底還練不練了
I'm sorry. Proceed.
抱歉 請繼續(xù)
All right. Imagine yourself in the one place you feel most at home. Where is that?
好的 想象你正身處一個最有家的感覺的地方 是哪里呢
Sim City. More specifically, the Sim City I designed Sheldonopolis.
模擬城市(一款游戲)更確切地說 是我設(shè)計(jì)的模擬城市 謝爾頓奧波利斯
Okay, you're in Sheldonopolis. Where exactly?
好的 你身處謝爾頓奧波利斯 確切的地點(diǎn)是哪
Sheldon Square? Sheldon Towers? Sheldon Stadium, home of the Fighting Sheldons?
謝爾頓廣場 謝爾頓之塔 還是人稱謝爾頓勇士之家的謝爾頓運(yùn)動場
Whatever you like.
隨你喜歡
I thought this was supposed to be a guided meditation.
不是說你引導(dǎo)我冥想嗎
Fine. You're in Sheldon Square.
好吧 你在謝爾頓廣場
Really? This time of year? It's a bit nippy.
是嗎 這個季節(jié)嗎 那可有點(diǎn)冷
Then, put on a sweater.
那就穿件毛衣
Suppose I could run downtown and pick up something at ShelMart.
那我可以去市中心的謝爾瑪買一件
Yeah, whatever. Just go buy a sweater.
隨便啊 去買件毛衣就是了
You know, the nice thing about ShelMart is I own it, so I get a 15% discount.
好處就是謝爾瑪是我開的 所以我買東西85折
You own the damn thing. Just take a freaking sweater!
還不都你說了算 痛快拿件毛衣就行了
Look, I didn't turn a profit last quarter by taking product off the shelves willynilly.
上一季度我根本沒有盈利 就是因?yàn)槲宜翢o忌憚地拿東西不給錢
All right. You've paid for a sweater, and you're in Sheldon Square.
好吧 你買了件毛衣 現(xiàn)在你在謝爾頓廣場
Hang on. It's a cardigan. I have to button it. Oh, no. What now?
等等 是開衫的 我得扣上扣子 不會吧 又怎么了
A Godzillalike monster is approaching the city. I have to get my people to safety.
一個類似哥斯拉的怪物正在接近城市 我得把我的市民轉(zhuǎn)移到安全區(qū)
People of Sheldonopolis, this is your mayor. Follow me.
謝爾頓奧波利斯的市民們 我是你們的市長 跟著我
If the children can't run, leave them behind.
小孩子要是跑不了 就別管他們了
Oh, the simulated horror!
哎喲媽呀 模擬恐怖效果賊棒
Raj? Just as I suspected. Meditation is nothing but hokum.
點(diǎn)擊查看 生活大爆炸第三季 更多精彩內(nèi)容