人生不設(shè)限·不要老想著“如果……怎么辦”

我有個(gè)朋友，她小時(shí)候父母就離婚了。她的父母一天到晚吵個(gè)不停，即使分手了還是一樣。如今，我的朋友已經(jīng)長(zhǎng)大成人，但她很害怕婚姻。“我不想搞成像我父母那樣。”她說(shuō)。

I have a friend whose parents divorced when she was young. Her mum and dad fought all the time, even after they broke up. Now she is a grown woman, but she is afraid to get married. "I don't want to end up like my parents," she says.

無(wú)法擁有一段長(zhǎng)久的關(guān)系，只是因?yàn)閾?dān)心沒(méi)有好結(jié)果?居然有這種事!這就是病態(tài)的恐懼了。你不能一想到婚姻就想到離婚，請(qǐng)記住丁尼生的詩(shī)句：“愛(ài)過(guò)而失去，勝于從未愛(ài)過(guò)。”

Can you imagine never having a lasting relationship because you are afraid it might not work out? That's a sick fear! You can't think of marriage as nothing but the first step to divorce. Remember the Tennyson poem " 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"?

你如果一直擔(dān)心不知何時(shí)、何地會(huì)發(fā)生什么事，以至于癱在那兒什么也不敢做，就不可能擁有快樂(lè)而滿足的人生。假如因?yàn)閾?dān)心被雷打到或被瘧蚊叮咬，大家就整天躺在床上，那這個(gè)世界就太可悲了，不是嗎?

You can't possibly have an enjoyable and fulfilling life if you are paralyzed by fear of what might happen someday, somewhere, maybe, somehow. If we all stayed in our beds every day because we were afraid of being struck by lightning or bitten by a malaria mosquito, it would be a pretty sad world, wouldn't it?

許多恐懼成性的人滿腦子想的都是“如果……怎么辦”，其實(shí)他們應(yīng)該說(shuō)的是“為什么不……”

So many fearful people focus on the What if when they should be saying Why not?

如果我不夠好怎么辦?

● What if I'm not good enough?

如果他們嘲笑我怎么辦?

● What if they laugh at me?

如果我被拒絕了怎么辦?

● What if I'm turned down?

如果我的成功無(wú)法持續(xù)下去怎么辦?

● What if I can't keep up with my successes?

我了解這種想法。在成長(zhǎng)過(guò)程中，我必須應(yīng)付幾種主要的恐懼——害怕被拒絕、害怕無(wú)法勝任、害怕要依賴他人。我的身體少了標(biāo)準(zhǔn)配備，這件事并不只是我的想象，然而父母常常提醒我，不要一直注意我所缺少的，而是要把焦點(diǎn)放在我所擁有，以及我能創(chuàng)造的事物上——只要我敢跟隨我的想象力。

I understand that sort of thinking. Growing up I had to deal with major fears—the fear of rejection, the fear of inadequacy, the fear of being dependent. It wasn't just my imagination: my body lacked the standard equipment. But my parents told me that I should always focus not on what was missing but on what I had and what I could create if I only dared to follow my imagination.

“要做大夢(mèng)，力克，而且永遠(yuǎn)不要讓恐懼阻礙你朝著夢(mèng)想前進(jìn)。”他們說(shuō)，“你不能讓恐懼支配你的未來(lái)。選擇你要的人生，然后全力以赴。”

"Dream big, Nicky, and never let fear keep you from working toward your dreams," they said. "You can't let fear dictate your future. Choose the life you want and go for it."

到目前為止，我已經(jīng)到二十多個(gè)國(guó)家演講過(guò)，在體育館、競(jìng)技場(chǎng)、學(xué)校、教會(huì)和監(jiān)獄傳播希望與信心的信息。如果不是父母鼓勵(lì)我承認(rèn)并超越自己的恐懼，我不可能做到這些。

So far, I've spoken to diverse audiences in more than nineteen countries around the globe. I've taken my message of hope and faith to vast crowds in stadiums, arenas, schools, churches, and prisons. I never could have done that if my parents had not encouraged me to acknowledge my fears and then push past them.