My best advice for finding inner happiness is to reach outside yourself, to use your talents and brains and personality to make life better for someone else. I've been on the receiving end of that, and I'm not exaggerating when I tell you that it changed my life.
16歲時,我就讀于昆士蘭的朗孔高中。放學后,我通常必須等一兩個小時才有車回家,這段時間,我四處跟其他同學或阿諾先生聊天。阿諾先生很了不起,他不是校長也不是老師,而是學校的工友,但他卻是個從內(nèi)在發(fā)光的人。他頗能自處,穿著工作服一樣怡然自得,所以每個人都很尊敬他,喜歡跟他在一起。
I was sixteen and a student at Runcorn State High School in Queensland. I usually had to wait an hour or so after school for my ride home. Most days I'd hang out talking to other kids or to a great guy named Mr. Arnold. He wasn't the principal or even a teacher. He was the school janitor. But Mr. Arnold was one of those people who glowed from within. He was so at peace with himself, so comfortable in his coveralls, that everyone respected him and enjoyed being around him.
阿諾先生什么都能聊,他充滿靈性,而且很有智慧。午餐時,他偶爾會跟一些年輕人討論基督信仰,也邀請我參加——即使我跟他說,我對宗教不是那么有興趣。不過我很喜歡他這個人,所以也開始參加他們的聚會。
Mr. Arnold could talk about any subject. He was spiritual and wise. On some days he led a Christian youth discussion at lunchtime. He invited me to join, even though I told him I wasn't big into religion. But I liked him, and so I began attending their sessions.
阿諾先生鼓勵大家談談自己的生活,但我總是拒絕。“說嘛,力克,我們都想聽聽你的故事。”他說,“我們想更認識你,想多知道一些你的想法。”
Mr. Arnold encouraged kids to talk about their lives at these meetings, but I always turned down his invitations. "Come on, Nick, we'd like to hear your story," he'd say. "We want to know more about you and what you're thinking."
我拒絕了三個月。“我沒什么故事好講的。”我這么說道。
For three months I refused. "I don't have a story to tell," I'd say.
最后因為磨不過他,加上看到別的孩子都能坦然地說出自己的感受和體驗,于是我終于答應下一次會跟大家聊聊我的事。我非常緊張,事前還準備了寫滿重點的卡片(很蠢,我知道)。
Finally Mr. Arnold wore me down. The other kids were very open about their feelings and their experiences, so I finally consented to talk about my own at the next meeting. I was so nervous, I prepared note cards with bullet points. (Nerdy, I know.)
我并沒有想要感動誰。我告訴自己,我只想把這件事做完,然后走人,就這樣。但是,有一部分我卻很想讓其他人知道,我也有跟他們一樣的感覺、傷痛和恐懼。
I wasn't expecting to impress anyone. I just wanted to get through it and get out of there, or so I told myself. A part of me also wanted to show the other kids that I had the same feelings, hurts, and fears that they'd expressed.
那天我大約花了十分鐘,談到?jīng)]手沒腳的成長過程是什么狀況。我說了難過的事,也提到好玩的事。另外,我不想讓自己像個受害者,因此也講到得意的事。而既然這是個基督徒的團體,我于是提到有時我會覺得上帝遺忘了我,或者,我是他極少數(shù)的失誤。接著我向大家解釋我是如何慢慢了解到,或許上帝對我是有個計劃,只是我還不明白那是什么。
For ten minutes that day I talked about what it was like to grow up without arms and legs. I told sad stories and funny stories too. I didn't want to seem like a victim, so I talked about my victories. Since this was a Christian group, I did say that there had been times when I felt God had forgotten me, or that I'd been one of His rare mistakes. Then I explained how I'd gradually come to understand that maybe there was a plan for me that I just hadn't figured out yet.
“我正慢慢學著要有多一點信心,明白自己不是個失誤。”我加上這一句,試圖逗大家開心。
"I'm slowly learning to have more faith that I wasn't a mistake," I said, trying to get a laugh.
總算講完了,我松了一口氣,覺得好想哭。然而讓我訝異的是,房間里大多數(shù)孩子反倒都哭了。
In truth, I was so relieved to get through my talk that I felt like crying. To my amazement, most of the kids in the room were crying instead.
“我有那么糟嗎?”我問阿諾先生。
"Was I that bad?" I asked Mr. Arnold.
“不,力克,”他說,“你好棒。”
"No, Nick," he said. "You were that good."
起先我覺得他只是好心,而這群孩子也只是假裝被我的演講感動。畢竟他們是基督徒,為人本來就應該很好。
At first I thought he was just being nice and the kids in the group were pretending to be moved by my speech. They were Christians, after all. They were supposed to be nice.
然而,之后有個人邀請我到他教會的青年聚會分享,另一個孩子則請我去他教會的主日學演講。接下來的兩年里,我應邀到許多教會、青年團體與服務性社團分享我的故事。
But then one of the guys in the group invited me to speak to his church youth group. Then another invitation came from another kid for his Sunday school class. Over the next two years, I received dozens of invitations to share my story to church groups, youth organizations, and service clubs.
高中時期,我曾特地避開基督徒團體,因為我不想被當成整天傳教的宗教狂熱分子。我故意表現(xiàn)得很粗魯,有時還罵臟話,好讓人覺得我很“正常”而接納我。但事實上,是我還沒接納自己。
I had avoided Christian groups in high school because I didn't want to be labeled as the do-gooder preacher's kid who was all about religion. I acted tough and sometimes cursed so I could be accepted as a regular guy. The truth was that I had not yet accepted myself.
顯然,上帝頗有幽默感,他把我拉進我努力想逃開的團體去演講。也就是在那里,上帝顯明了他對我人生的計劃。他讓我知道,即使我并不完美,但可以和人分享的東西卻很多,可以讓別人的人生過得更輕松的祝福也很豐富。
Obviously, God has a sense of humor. He wrangled me into speaking to just the group I had avoided, and it was there that He revealed my purpose in life. He showed me that even if I was not perfect, I had riches to share, blessings to lighten the burdens of others.
你也是一樣。我們都不完美,所以必須分享自己得到的美好饋贈。向自己的內(nèi)在探尋吧,那兒有熠熠盛光,正等著發(fā)亮。
The same holds true for you. We share our imperfection. We need to share the beautiful gifts we've been given. Look inside. There is a light inside you just waiting to shine.