人生不設(shè)限·找出一個(gè)你喜歡自己的地方，一個(gè)就夠

我的話(huà)能夠引起克莉絲蒂的共鳴，是因?yàn)槲乙苍?jīng)像她一樣。7歲時(shí)的某一天，我在學(xué)校過(guò)得特別痛苦，經(jīng)歷了排斥與沮喪;回到家后，我瞪著鏡子看了幾個(gè)鐘頭。大部分青少年擔(dān)心的是青春痘或頭發(fā)順不順，這些問(wèn)題我都有，除此之外，我還缺少四肢。

My message resonated with Kristy because I've been where she was. When I was seven years old, I went home after one particularly cruel day of rejection and disappointment and spent hours staring into my mirror. Most teens worry about pimples and keeping their hair under control. I had all of the usual challenges on top of the missing limbs.

“我真是個(gè)長(zhǎng)相怪異的家伙。”我想著。

I really am just a weird-looking bloke, I thought.

悲傷淹沒(méi)了我。我縱情自憐了五分鐘，接著內(nèi)心深處有個(gè)聲音說(shuō)道：“好了，就像媽媽說(shuō)的，你就是少了幾個(gè)零件，但你有些地方也很好啊。講一個(gè)，有膽你就講一個(gè)，只要一個(gè)就夠了。”

Grief overwhelmed me. I allowed myself to wallow in self-pity for a good five minutes. But then a voice from deep inside said, Okay, like your mum says, you're missing some bits and pieces, but you have some good features too. I thought, Name one. I dare you. Just find one thing, and that will be enough.

我看著鏡中的自己好一會(huì)兒，最后終于想到一件正面的事。

I studied my reflected image a little longer and finally came up with something positive.

“我的眼睛不錯(cuò)，有女生說(shuō)過(guò)我的眼睛很好看。就算沒(méi)別的，我還有這個(gè)，而且沒(méi)人能改變這一點(diǎn)!我的眼睛永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)變，所以我永遠(yuǎn)都會(huì)有漂亮的眼睛。”

I have nice eyes. Girls have told me I have nice eyes. I have that if nothing else! And no one can change that about me. My eyes will never change, so I will always have beautiful eyes.

當(dāng)你因?yàn)槭艿絺?，或是被人欺侮、鄙視而情緒低落時(shí)，就去照鏡子，然后找出一個(gè)你喜歡自己的地方。不一定是長(zhǎng)相，也可能是才華、性格，反正就是能讓你對(duì)自己感覺(jué)良好的特質(zhì)。然后花一些時(shí)間好好思考你這個(gè)特點(diǎn)，對(duì)它表達(dá)感激，并且要知道，你的美好與價(jià)值來(lái)自于你被創(chuàng)造成一個(gè)獨(dú)特的人。

When you feel your spirits tumbling because you've been hurt or bullied or disparaged, go to the mirror and find one feature you love about yourself. It doesn't have to be a physical characteristic. It can be a talent, a trait, or something else that makes you feel good about yourself. Dwell on that special something for a while. Be grateful for it, and know that your beauty and value come from the unique person you were made to be.

不要自我放棄，說(shuō)自己“沒(méi)什么特別的地方”。我們對(duì)自己太嚴(yán)苛了，特別是不當(dāng)?shù)啬米约喝ズ蛣e人比較時(shí)。我跟青少年談話(huà)的時(shí)候就特別注意到這一點(diǎn)，好多孩子覺(jué)得自己很矬，要不然就是覺(jué)得沒(méi)人會(huì)愛(ài)他。

Don't cop out and claim, "There is nothing special about me." We are so hard on ourselves, especially when we compare ourselves unfavorably to others. I see this especially when I talk to teenagers. So many of them struggle with feelings of inadequacy, or the sense that no one will ever love them.

所以在學(xué)?；蚯嗄陥F(tuán)體演講時(shí)，我常常向在場(chǎng)的青少年強(qiáng)調(diào)：“我愛(ài)你們本來(lái)的樣子。在我看來(lái)，你們漂亮得很。”

That is why I make it a point to tell them, "I love you just as you are. You are beautiful to me."

這些簡(jiǎn)單的話(huà)從我這個(gè)長(zhǎng)相怪異的陌生人口中講出來(lái)，似乎總能激起一陣漣漪——事實(shí)上，這些話(huà)引起相當(dāng)大的反應(yīng)。

Those are simple words from me, a strange-looking stranger. I offer them in most of my speaking engagements for schools and youth groups. My simple words always seem to strike a chord. In fact, the response is usually quite remarkable.

典型的反應(yīng)是從一陣隱約的啜泣聲或壓抑住的抽鼻子聲開(kāi)始，我會(huì)看到一個(gè)女孩低著頭，或是一個(gè)男生用手捂住臉。接著，強(qiáng)烈的情緒仿佛會(huì)傳染似的橫掃整個(gè)演講會(huì)場(chǎng)。眼淚從那些年輕的臉龐滑落，肩膀因?yàn)橄胍种凄ㄆ暥澏?。女孩們依偎在一起，男孩子則離開(kāi)會(huì)場(chǎng)，不想讓人看到他們的臉。

The typical reaction begins with a muffled whimper or a smothered sniffle. I'll look out to see a girl with her head down or a boy with his hands over his face. Then the powerful emotions will sweep through the room like a contagion. Tears will flow down young cheeks. Shoulders shake from stifled sobs. Girls huddle together. Boys leave the room to hide their faces.

頭幾次發(fā)生這種情況時(shí)，我嚇了一跳，心想這是怎么回事?他們的反應(yīng)怎么這么激烈?

The first few times this happened, I was taken aback. What's going on? Why are they responding so strongly?

我的聽(tīng)眾解答了我的疑惑。演講結(jié)束后，不分老幼都排隊(duì)要擁抱我，分享他們的感受。通常這個(gè)隊(duì)要排上好幾個(gè)小時(shí)，反應(yīng)熱烈。

My audience members themselves have answered those questions. After my speeches, young and old, they line up to hug me and share their feelings. Again, the response is overwhelming. Often they line up for hours.

現(xiàn)在的我可以算是個(gè)帥哥，不過(guò)人們可不是沖著我的瀟灑才花幾個(gè)鐘頭排隊(duì)等著抱我。真正吸引他們的是，我擁有許多人生命中欠缺的兩項(xiàng)強(qiáng)大力量——無(wú)條件的愛(ài)與自我接納。

Now, I'm a handsome enough bloke, but people don't stand in lines for hours to hug me because I'm so dashing. What really seems to be drawing them is that I unleash a pair of powerful forces that so many are lacking in their lives: unconditional love and self-acceptance.

我收過(guò)許多E-mail和信件，也跟很多人聊過(guò)，老少都有。這些人都曾經(jīng)想過(guò)要自殺，因?yàn)樗麄兪チ藧?ài)自己的能力。當(dāng)你受到傷害時(shí)，會(huì)筑起高墻，免得再被傷害一次，但是你不能在心的周?chē)鹨欢聝?nèi)在的墻。如果你愛(ài)自己原來(lái)的樣子，愛(ài)自己內(nèi)在或外在天生的美，人們就會(huì)被你吸引，然后也看見(jiàn)你的美。

Kristy's is just one of many e-mails and letters I receive and personal conversations I have with people young and old who've thought about taking their lives because they've lost their ability to love themselves. When you are hurt, you build walls to keep from being hurt again, but you can't build an interior wall around your heart. And if you will only love yourself as you are, for all your natural beauty inside and out, others will be drawn to you, and they will see your beauty too.