—個(gè)英文網(wǎng)站面向中學(xué)生征稿請(qǐng)你寫一篇英語(yǔ)稿件,介紹“中秋節(jié)”及這個(gè)節(jié)日里的主要活動(dòng)。
1. 寫作要點(diǎn):它是中國(guó)的傳統(tǒng)節(jié)日之一;
2. 家人團(tuán)聚;
3. 賞月、吃月餅;
4. 還有旅游、訪友等其他活動(dòng)。
注意:1.詞數(shù)100左右;
2. 可以適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié),以使行文連貫;
3. 開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)已為你寫好,不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)。
【參考范文】
The Mid-Autumn Festival
The Mid-Autumn Festival falls on the 15th of the eighth month of our Chinese lunarcalendar. As one of the traditional Chinese festivals, it has been enjoying great popularity in our country. Usually, no matter how far away or how busy we are, we will try to come home for the celebration. The moon that night looks the brightest in the whole lunar month. What we love most is the time we enjoy the full moon together. With the beautiful moon up in the sky, we sit togetherand eat moon cakes and fruit, sharing our stories. In addition to these traditional activities, we have a wider range of choices such as travelling andvisiting our relatives or friends。
老師點(diǎn)評(píng):
任務(wù)達(dá)成:完整完成了介紹中秋節(jié)的任務(wù),覆蓋了所有內(nèi)容。
單 詞:使用廣泛的詞匯來(lái)表達(dá),其中有fall on, lunar calendar, enjoy great popularity, celebration, in addition, tradictional,range, relative等高級(jí)詞匯。
語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu):使用了多種多樣的語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu),有as+名詞作狀語(yǔ)的結(jié)構(gòu),有has been enjoying現(xiàn)在完成進(jìn)行時(shí)態(tài), no matter引導(dǎo)的讓步狀語(yǔ)從句,有what we love most的主語(yǔ)從句,和它后面的定語(yǔ)從句,with+名詞的狀語(yǔ),-ing的非謂成分等等。
連 接: 使用了一些連接詞匯或短語(yǔ): As, Usually,in addition to,但是整體的行文推進(jìn)還不夠流暢,沒(méi)有分段,句與句之間的連接不夠自然,扣1分。
整體得分:24-25分。
修改后
The Mid-Autumn Festival
TheMid-Autumn Festival falls on the 15th of the eighth month of our Chinese lunarcalendar. As one of the traditional Chinese festivals, it has been enjoying great popularity for its celebration of family reunion(增加此項(xiàng)內(nèi)容,使得后面的句子連起來(lái)更自然). Usually,no matter how far away or how busy we are, we will try to come home for the festival. The moon thatnight looks the brightest in the whole lunar month(此句是好句,但是放在此處,稍顯突兀,所以可以考慮放到后面).
(另起一段,講節(jié)日的慶祝方式)
What we love most in the festival(連接上面的段落) is the time we get together to enjoy the full moon, which looks the brightest in the whole lunar month(把第一段最后一句移到此處). With the beautiful moon up in the sky, we sit together and eat moon cakes and fruit,sharing our stories. In addition to these traditional activities, we have a wider range of choices such as travelling and visiting our relatives or friends。
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