如何幫助一個(gè)焦慮的孩子

如何幫助一個(gè)焦慮的孩子

Childhood anxiety is one of the most important mental health challenges of our time. One in five children will experience some kind of clinical-level anxiety by the time they reach adolescence, according to Danny Pine, a child and adolescent psychiatrist at the National Institute of Mental Health and one of the world's top anxiety researchers. Pine says that for most kids, these feelings of worry won't last, but for some, they will — especially if those children don't get help.

童年焦慮是我們這個(gè)時(shí)代最重要的心理健康挑戰(zhàn)之一。美國國家心理健康研究所兒童與青少年精神病學(xué)家、世界頂尖的焦慮癥研究人員之一丹尼·派恩表示，五分之一的兒童在進(jìn)入青春期之前會(huì)經(jīng)歷某種臨床級(jí)別的焦慮。派恩說，對大多數(shù)孩子來說，這種焦慮感不會(huì)持續(xù)太久，但對一些孩子來說，特別是如果這些孩子得不到幫助的話，這種感覺會(huì)持續(xù)很久。

Here are four takeaways that all parents, caregivers and teachers can add to their anxiety toolkits, including information on how anxiety works, how parents can spot it and how to know when it's time to get professional help.

以下是所有家長、照顧者和老師都可以添加到他們的焦慮工具包中的四個(gè)要點(diǎn)，包括關(guān)于焦慮如何起作用的信息，父母如何發(fā)現(xiàn)它，以及如何知道什么時(shí)候該尋求專業(yè)幫助。

1. Anxiety is a fear of the future and all its unpredictability.

焦慮是對未來及其不可預(yù)測性的恐懼。

"The main thing to know about anxiety is that it involves some level of perception about danger," says Pine, and it thrives on unpredictability. The mind of an anxious child is often on the lookout for some future threat, locked in a state of exhausting vigilance.

派恩說:“關(guān)于焦慮最重要的一點(diǎn)是，它涉及到對危險(xiǎn)的某種程度的感知。”一個(gè)焦慮的孩子的大腦經(jīng)常處于一種令人筋疲力盡的警覺狀態(tài)，時(shí)刻關(guān)注著未來的威脅。

We all have some of this hard-wired worry, because we need it. Pine says it's one of the reasons we humans have managed to survive as long as we have. "Young children are naturally afraid of strangers. That's an adaptive thing. They're afraid of separation."

我們都有這種根深蒂固的擔(dān)憂，因?yàn)槲覀冃枰?。派恩說，這是我們?nèi)祟惖靡陨娴脑蛑弧?ldquo;小孩子天生害怕陌生人。這是一種適應(yīng)性的東西。他們害怕分離。”

2. Be on the lookout for the physical signs of anxiety.

留意焦慮時(shí)的身體跡象。

The worried feelings that come with anxiety can seem hidden to everyone. That's why it's especially important for grown-ups to pay close attention to a child's behavior and to look for the telltale signs of anxiety in children.

焦慮帶來的煩惱似乎隱藏在每個(gè)人的心里。這就是為什么成年人密切關(guān)注孩子的行為，尋找孩子焦慮的跡象是特別重要的。

Anna, of Brampton, England, remembers when her 7-year-old son started having trouble at school. (We aren't using parents' full names to protect their children's privacy.)

來自英格蘭布蘭普敦的安娜還記得她7歲的兒子在學(xué)校遇到麻煩的時(shí)候。(為了保護(hù)孩子的隱私我們不會(huì)使用父母的全名。)

"He was just coming home and saying his stomach hurt. He was very sick," Anna says. When she followed up with him to try to get to the root of his stomachache, she says, "he did tell me he was worried about school, and he told me specifically it was a teacher that he was worried about."

“他剛回到家，說他的胃疼，他病得很厲害，”安娜說。當(dāng)她跟蹤他，試圖找到他胃痛的根源時(shí)，她說，“他告訴我他擔(dān)心學(xué)校，特別是擔(dān)心一位老師。”

A stomachache, headache or vomiting can all signal anxious feelings, especially as a child gets closer to the source of the anxiety.

胃痛、頭痛或嘔吐都是焦慮的信號(hào)，尤其是當(dāng)孩子越來越接近焦慮的源頭時(shí)。

"You'll see that they'll have a rapid heartbeat. They'll get clammy, you know, because their heart is racing," says Rosemarie Truglio, the head of curriculum and content at Sesame Workshop. "They'll become tearful. That's another sign. ... Anxiety is about what's going to be happening in the future. So there's a lot of spinning in their head, which they're not able to articulate."

“你會(huì)看到他們的心跳很快，他們會(huì)渾身冰冷，你知道，因?yàn)樗麄兊男奶诩铀伲?rdquo;芝麻工作室的課程和內(nèi)容負(fù)責(zé)人羅斯瑪麗·特魯格里奧說。“他們會(huì)變得淚流滿面。這是另一個(gè)跡象。焦慮是對未來會(huì)發(fā)生的事情的擔(dān)憂。所以他們的腦子里有很多東西，他們無法表達(dá)出來。”

3. Before you try to reason with a panicked child, help the child relax.

在你試圖和一個(gè)恐慌的孩子講道理之前，先幫助他放松。

"You're not going to be able to move forward until you get them to calm down," says Sesame's Truglio. "Because if you can't calm them down, you can't even reach them. They're not listening to your words because they can't. Their body is taking over, so talking and shouting and saying, 'You're going to do this!' is not very helpful."

芝麻的特魯格里奧說:“除非你讓他們冷靜下來，否則你無法取得進(jìn)展。”“因?yàn)槿绻悴荒茏屗麄兤届o下來，你甚至無法接觸到他們。他們不會(huì)聽你的話，因?yàn)樗麄冏霾坏?。他們的身體正在控制一切，所以即使你大喊著說著:‘你要這么做!’不會(huì)有很大幫助。”

4. Validate your child's fear.

確認(rèn)孩子的恐懼。

We heard from lots of parents who say they really struggle to know how to respond when their kids worry about unlikely things — especially if the fear is getting in the way of a busy daily routine, maybe a fun family outing or sleep.

我們聽到許多父母說，當(dāng)他們的孩子擔(dān)心不可能發(fā)生的事情時(shí)，他們真的不知道該如何應(yīng)對——尤其是當(dāng)這種恐懼阻礙了他們繁忙的日常生活，比如一次有趣的家庭出游或睡覺時(shí)。

"She comes down. It's 2 a.m. And she wakes me up," says Amber, of Huntsville, Ala., about her 8-year-old daughter. "And she said, 'I don't want to go away to college. I want to live at home for college.' And it's 2 a.m. ... That's when I really have to filter and not say, 'That is ridiculous. This is not a big deal!' "

”她2點(diǎn)下來把我叫醒了，”來自阿拉巴馬州亨茨維爾的安布爾說。這是她8歲的女兒。“她說，‘我不想去上大學(xué)。我想在家里讀大學(xué)。“現(xiàn)在是凌晨兩點(diǎn)……那時(shí)我真的需要再三思考，而不是說，‘這太荒謬了。這沒什么大不了的!’”

Amber's filtered response was exactly right, says Truglio. Never dismiss a child's worries, no matter how irrational they may seem. A parent's priority, she says, should be "validating your child's feelings and not saying, 'Oh, you know, buck up. You can do this!' That's not helpful."

特魯格里奧說，安布爾的再三考慮完全正確。永遠(yuǎn)不要忽視孩子的憂慮，無論它們看起來多么不合理。她說，父母的首要任務(wù)應(yīng)該是“確認(rèn)孩子的感受，而不是說，‘哦，你知道，振作起來。你能做到的!’那沒用。”