如何停止對(duì)生活的煩惱?

如何停止對(duì)生活的煩惱?

Do you get easily annoyed? At times, does that emotion quickly escalate to anger? You are not alone.

你容易生氣嗎?有時(shí)，這種情緒會(huì)迅速升級(jí)為憤怒嗎?你并不孤單。

You shouldn't live with it, though.

但你不應(yīng)該忍受它。

Beyond improvements to your general mood and happiness, taming your anger can have important benefits to your health. Constant stress and aggravation is linked to a range of issuesincluding overeating, insomnia and depression, and angry outbursts increase the risk of heart attacks and strokes.

除了改善你的總體情緒和幸福感，控制你的憤怒對(duì)你的健康也有重要的好處。持續(xù)的壓力和惡化與一系列問題有關(guān)，包括暴飲暴食、失眠和抑郁，以及憤怒的爆發(fā)會(huì)增加心臟病發(fā)作和中風(fēng)的風(fēng)險(xiǎn)。

Despite how common it is for us humans to become annoyed and angry -- from road rage to air rage and work frustrations to parenting -- there are few easy solutions. Maybe we've just accepted outsize irritation as a part of life, or maybe simple answers are antithetical to a problem that can be ingrained.

盡管我們?nèi)祟愖兊脨琅蛻嵟嵌嗝吹钠毡?從道路上的憤怒到空中的憤怒，從工作上的挫折到養(yǎng)育子女-但幾乎沒有簡(jiǎn)單的解決辦法。也許我們已經(jīng)接受了過度的憤怒是生活的一部分，或者簡(jiǎn)單的答案與根深蒂固的問題是對(duì)立的。

Easily getting bent out of shape, even angry, is my problem, too. It was happening more than I wanted and was cumulatively stressing me out, which is why, a couple of years ago, I set a goal to come up with an easy system, based on sound psychology, that I could employ in moments of annoyance.

我的問題還包括容易發(fā)脾氣，甚至生氣。這樣的事情發(fā)生得比我想要的要多，而且不斷地給我?guī)韷毫Γ@就是為什么，幾年前，我設(shè)定了一個(gè)目標(biāo)，要建立一個(gè)簡(jiǎn)單的系統(tǒng)，基于健全的心理學(xué)，我可以在煩惱的時(shí)候使用它。

Below are simple steps I use to give perspective to, and gain distance from, unbridled irritation and anger. Employing them has significantly reduced the number of instances in which I get irritated, or at least has shortened their duration.

下面是簡(jiǎn)單的步驟，我用它們來透視和遠(yuǎn)離肆無忌憚的憤怒和憤怒。使用它們大大減少了我生氣的次數(shù)，或者至少縮短了我生氣的時(shí)間。

Step one: 10 breaths

第一步:10次呼吸

At the first moment you realize you are experiencing annoyance or anger, just breathe. Ten slow, deep, even breaths do wonders. Sometimes, the annoyance will have passed in just that time.

當(dāng)你第一次意識(shí)到你正在經(jīng)歷煩惱或憤怒時(shí)，深呼吸。十次緩慢、深沉、均勻的呼吸能創(chuàng)造奇跡。有時(shí)候，煩惱就在那個(gè)時(shí)候過去了。

Even if it hasn't, the breaths still help. Diaphragmatic or abdominal (as opposed to shallow) breaths, in which you breathe from deeper inside your belly and fill your lungs, deliver more oxygen to your body, which stabilizes blood pressure and helps invoke your body's relaxation response.

即使沒有，呼吸仍然有幫助。橫膈膜呼吸或腹式呼吸(與淺呼吸相反)，你從腹部深處呼吸，填滿肺部，向身體輸送更多氧氣，從而穩(wěn)定血壓，幫助激發(fā)身體的放松反應(yīng)。

It may help to add a mantra ("I have the patience of the Buddha" is one I like to use when the kids' bedtime-delaying tactics are keeping me from relaxing on the couch) or a calming image to hold in your mind. I sometimes accompany my 10 breaths with a memory of a surfer I once watched paddling into the sunset of the Pacific Ocean. He is often capable of pulling my annoyance out to sea with him.

在你的腦海里加上一句咒語(yǔ)(“我有佛陀的耐心”是我喜歡用的一個(gè)咒語(yǔ)，當(dāng)孩子們拖延睡覺時(shí)間的策略讓我無法在沙發(fā)上放松時(shí))或一個(gè)平靜的畫面可能會(huì)有所幫助。有時(shí)，我伴隨著10次呼吸，回憶起我曾經(jīng)看到的一位沖浪者在太平洋日落中劃水的情景。他常常能把我的煩惱帶到海里去。

Step two: Explain it to yourself

第二步:向自己解釋

If the breaths don't make a dent, try explaining what's happening to yourself. "I'm annoyed right now because ..." is a good sentence to finish. Articulating the issue changes your response from emotion to logic.

如果你的呼吸沒有產(chǎn)生任何影響，試著解釋你自己發(fā)生了什么。“我現(xiàn)在很生氣，因?yàn)?hellip;…”是個(gè)很好的結(jié)束語(yǔ)。闡明問題會(huì)使你的反應(yīng)從情感轉(zhuǎn)變?yōu)檫壿嫛?/p>

Step three: Walk a meter in their shoes
第三步:站在他們的立場(chǎng)上

Make use of this step when another person is part of the reason you are upset. Try hard to see the situation from their reality and invent a subjective theory for why they did what they did.

當(dāng)別人是你不開心的原因之一時(shí)，利用這一步。試著從他們的現(xiàn)實(shí)中看到情況，并為他們所做的事情創(chuàng)造一個(gè)主觀的理論。