「故事與詩(shī)歌」Things My Mother Taught Me

Things My Mother Taught Me

Anonymous

My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done:

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning!"

My mother taught me religion:

"You'd better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about time travel:

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me logic:

"Because I said so, that's why!"

My mother taught me foresight:

"Be sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me about contortion:

"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about stamina:

"You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about weather:

"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

My mother taught me how to solve physics problems:

"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?"

My mother taught me about envy:

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"