Ever since I had left Thornfield I had thought of Mr. Rochester every day and night. That evening, i stood at the door of my house, looking at the sunset and the quiet fields. I allowed myself to imagine again the life I could have had with Mr. Rochester. He would have loved my very much for a while. "[-----2-----]," I thought, "nobody will ever love me like that again." But I knew that I would only have been his mistress, not his wife. One day, he would have become tired of me. In time, I would be happier here as a schoolteacher. I would be alone, but at least I would be honest.
But when he came to visit me, St. John River found me crying. He asked me.
"[-----3-----]?"
"Oh no," I said,"I know I will enjoy it. And I'm so grateful to have a home, and work to do. A few weeks ago, I had nothing."