未婚同居有利有弊 年輕人需認(rèn)真考慮

當(dāng)今社會(huì)，婚前同居情況越來(lái)越普遍，如何看待這一現(xiàn)象也成為許多人關(guān)心的話題。而有關(guān)專(zhuān)家表示，同居有利有弊，孰輕孰重，要仔細(xì)掂量。

The number of unmarried cohabiting couples in the US increased more than 17 fold between 1960 and 2010, according to a recent US Census Bureau report.

根據(jù)美國(guó)人口普查局最新報(bào)告顯示，美國(guó)未婚同居情侶人數(shù)在1960年至2010年間增加了17倍以上。

The benefits of cohabitation are obvious: It provides economies of scale as two can live more cheaply than one. It also encourages economic specialization by allowing individuals to focus on their unique skills while leaving other duties to their spouse.

同居的好處顯而易見(jiàn)：二人生活更省錢(qián)，從而帶來(lái)規(guī)模經(jīng)濟(jì)效益;同時(shí)二人生活還有利于經(jīng)濟(jì)分工，各自管好擅長(zhǎng)領(lǐng)域，其余事情留給另一半。

A recent study conducted by the online rental site Rent.com of 1,000 cohabiting individuals in the US, found that 32 percent said living together helped them determine if their partner was “the one”.

根據(jù)房地產(chǎn)租賃網(wǎng)站Rent.com對(duì)全美1000名同居者進(jìn)行的一項(xiàng)最新研究顯示，32%的人認(rèn)為同居有助于判斷對(duì)方是否就是“命中注定的那個(gè)人”。

Ellen Mayr, a 25-year-old lawyer from Brisbane, Australia, has been living with her boyfriend for the last three years and is a big advocate of cohabitation. She says: “It’s important to know if you can work as a domestic unit as it’s not always a reflection of how much you love each other. It’s a function of how well you work together under all sorts of different stressors.”

25歲的艾倫·邁爾是一名來(lái)自澳大利亞布里斯班的律師，過(guò)去三年一直和男友同住的她是個(gè)不折不扣的“同居主義”。她說(shuō)：“弄清你們能否組建家庭這點(diǎn)非常重要，因?yàn)檫@并不一定與感情深淺成正比。而是取決于面對(duì)各種壓力時(shí)你們是否能很好地相處。”

The cohabitation rate is also on the rise among young Chinese. Author and relationship expert Marshall Miller believes cohabiting allows people to get to the “nitty-gritty” of the relationship before committing to marriage. “Cohabitation is a lot like turning the TV to your favorite channel — and then leaving it on 24/7”, he says. “You’re bound to see some stuff you don’t like much.”

與美國(guó)的情況類(lèi)似，中國(guó)年輕人的同居率也正在上升。作家兼情感專(zhuān)家馬歇爾·米勒認(rèn)為，同居能讓人們?cè)诓饺牖橐龅钐们傲私鈶偾榈?ldquo;本質(zhì)”。“同居就好比把電視節(jié)目調(diào)到自己最喜愛(ài)的頻道，然后一周24小時(shí)循環(huán)連播”，他說(shuō)，“你一定會(huì)看到一些不太喜歡的內(nèi)容。”

Different ways

不同的方式

Mayr also warns that you shouldn’t jump into cohabitation too early. She recounts the story of her friend who bought a house with her boyfriend early on in the relationship. Soon after, they realized they were not ready for that level of commitment and broke up.

此外，邁爾也提醒年輕人不要太早步入同居行列。她講到了一位朋友的故事，那位朋友和男友剛戀愛(ài)不久就買(mǎi)了房子，但他們很快就意識(shí)到了自己還沒(méi)有達(dá)到談婚論嫁的程度，于是就分手了。

According to a 2013 sociological study cited in The Atlantic, 74 percent of cohabiting women are “completely committed” to their partner, while only 59 percent of men said the same. This represents a large divide in expectations among cohabitants, which can often lead to relationship problems later on.

美國(guó)《大西洋月刊》援引了2013年的一項(xiàng)社會(huì)學(xué)研究稱，74%的同居女性對(duì)伴侶“全身心投入”，而只有59%的男性表示會(huì)這樣做。這表明同居男女對(duì)彼此的期望存在巨大分歧，這往往會(huì)導(dǎo)致之后情感問(wèn)題的出現(xiàn)。

In order to bridge this gap, experts encourage couples to discuss their expectations with each other and ensure they have similar ideas about their relationship before taking any big steps.

為了縮小這一反差，專(zhuān)家鼓勵(lì)情侶在感情取得實(shí)質(zhì)性跨越之前，應(yīng)互相討論彼此的期望，確保對(duì)感情抱有相似的看法。

Rebecca Baquet, a 24-year-old business manager from Louisiana, US, has been dating her boyfriend for two years but doesn’t want to move in with him. “I don’t want to live with him until we’re married to keep it as something to look forward to”, she says. “Otherwise, if you’re living together before you’re married there won’t be a difference in the way your normal lives operate and the significance of marriage is reduced.”

24歲的麗貝卡·巴奎特是來(lái)自美國(guó)路易斯安那州的一名業(yè)務(wù)經(jīng)理，她與男友已相戀兩年，但還不想同居。“為了保持對(duì)同居的那份期待，我還不想和他婚前同居”，她說(shuō)，“此外，若是未婚同居，那婚前婚后的生活就沒(méi)有差別，結(jié)婚的意義會(huì)因此大打折扣。”

This shows cohabitation doesn’t necessarily work for everyone and there are many ways different people like to progress and evolve in their relationship.

綜上所述，婚前同居并非適用于所有人，人們也會(huì)選擇不同方式來(lái)為感情加溫。