牛津書蟲系列 化身博士 9 Doctor Jekyll's confession

9 Doctor Jekyll's confession

9 杰基爾博士的懺悔

I was born in the year 18-. I inherited a large fortune，a strong healthy body and an excellent mind. I wasnaturally hard-working and soon I was extremely successful inmy chosen work as a scientist.Although I was still young，important people came to me for advice.At an age when mostyoung men are going out and having fun， I was behaving like agrey-haired old man.

我生于18××年，擁有一大筆遺產(chǎn)、一個強(qiáng)健的身體和一個出色的頭腦。當(dāng)然，我也很勤奮，不久，作為一名科學(xué)家，我在自己從事的領(lǐng)域里獲得了巨大的成功。人雖年紀(jì)輕輕，但不少重要人物都向我討教。在那樣的年紀(jì)，大多數(shù)年輕人都想出去尋歡作樂，而我的舉止卻像個花白頭發(fā)的老人。

This was not easy for me.The outside world saw a serious，hard-working doctor. Behind this quiet character， however，was an active， fun-loving young man-about-town. This， ofcourse， was nothing to be ashamed of， but I did not realizethat at the time. I was ashamed， and I soon learned to keepmy two lives separate.

這對我來說并不容易。外面的人把我看成一本正經(jīng)、勤奮工作的博士，但在這安靜的性格下，卻是活潑、愛玩的交際場里的老手。當(dāng)然，這沒什么可以引以為恥的，但是我那時(shí)沒有意識到，我感到羞愧難當(dāng)，這樣，很快我就學(xué)會了把自己的兩種生活截然分開。

I was not dishonest in any way.Both these people were me.The serious， successful young doctor was me， and the wild，fun-loving，irresponsible young man was me too.I thought about this for a long time and slowly I realized that I was notextraordinary in this. Every man has two sides to hischaracter. He is two people.They live together-often uncomfortably in the same body.

我沒有一點(diǎn)不誠實(shí)，這兩個人都是我。那個嚴(yán)肅認(rèn)真、事業(yè)有成的博士是我，那個充滿野性、尋歡作樂、不負(fù)責(zé)任的年輕人也是我。我想了很長一段時(shí)間，慢慢地，我明白這樣并沒有什么特別之處。每個人的性格都有兩面性，他就是兩個人，住在一起——當(dāng)然常常是很不舒服地住在一個軀體里。

'How fantastic，'I thought， if I could separate these twocharacters and give my fun-loving side his freedom. Then hecould go out and enjoy himself unashamedly and leave serious，studious Doctor Jekyll to get on with his important， life-savingwork.'

“那該有多奇妙，”我想，“如果我能分離開兩種性格，給愛玩的這一邊以充分的自由。這樣，他就可以自己出去，玩?zhèn)€痛快，而把嚴(yán)肅認(rèn)真、勤奮上進(jìn)的杰基爾博士留下來，繼續(xù)做對他至關(guān)重要、拯救生靈的工作。”

'Was it possible，' I wondered，'to find a drug that couldgive each side of my characier its own separate face and body?'

“這可能實(shí)現(xiàn)嗎?”我懷疑，“能找到一種藥，給自己性格的每一面配上不同的臉和軀體嗎?”

After much thought and careful study I believed I had foundthe answer.I had read many scientific books and spent manyhours in my laboratory，searching for the right mixture ofchemicals to make my drug.At last I had everything I neededexcept a special kind of salt. I bought some from a chemist，and then I was ready.

我思考了很久，在做了仔細(xì)研究之后，我相信自己找到了答案。我看了很多科學(xué)方面的書籍，在實(shí)驗(yàn)室也花了不少時(shí)間，一直在尋找正確的化合物的劑量來配制我的藥，最后，除了一種特制的鹽類，我要的東西都齊了。后來，我從一個藥劑師那里買到了，一切準(zhǔn)備就緒了。

I hesitated for a long time before I began my experiment.Only a small mistake in the mixture of the drug could meanimmediate death.But in the end，my wish to know wasstronger than my fear.And so， late one disastrous night， Imixed everything together and prepared my drug.I watchedthe smoke rising from the liquid as it changed colour from redto purple and at last to green.Then， bravely，I drank everybitter drop.

我在實(shí)驗(yàn)之前猶豫了好久，化合物里的成分要是有一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)差錯，那就意味著立即死亡。但是，好奇心是如此強(qiáng)烈，終于克服了我的恐懼。在一個該詛咒的夜晚，我把各種成分混在一起，配成了我的藥，我目不轉(zhuǎn)睛地盯著一縷煙霧從液體里冒了出來，液體的顏色漸漸由紅變紫，最后變成綠色。隨后，我壯起膽子，喝干了這劑苦藥。

I felt a violent sickness in my stomach and a terrible pain inall my bones.The room seemed to turn round and round and Itrembled with fear.Then the fear and pain disappeared and astrange， sweet feeling took its place. Wild thoughts dancedthrough my mind. They were not good，serious thoughtsThey were the wild passions of an evil and cruel stranger. Butinside myself I felt younger， lighter， more carefree than everbefore.'If this is pure evil，'I thought，'I like it.'

我感到胃里劇烈地難受，骨頭縫里都疼，屋子在我眼前轉(zhuǎn)了起來，我怕得渾身發(fā)抖。不一會兒，恐懼和痛楚都消失了，取而代之的是一種奇怪而甜美的感覺。腦海里是令人暈眩的魯莽沖動，都是些不嚴(yán)肅、不好的念頭，是一個殘忍、邪惡的家伙才有的念頭。但是我覺得自己變年輕了，身體也輕快多了，精神上更加愉快。“即使是個十足的惡魔，”我想，“那我也喜歡他。”

I stood there. enjoying these strange new thoughts and passions-and suddenly realized that I was shorter.At that timethere was no mirror in my stidy. Later I put one on the wallof my study so that I could watch these changes in my appearance Now，however，it was three o'clock in the morning andall the servants were asleep.I decided it was safe to go to mybedroom in my new body and take a look at myself in the mirror there.I crossed the garden and entered my house like astranger. As I came into my room， I saw Edward Hyde forthe first time.

我站在那里，在這些奇怪的想法和情緒中放縱自己——猛然間，我注意到自己個子變矮了。那時(shí)我的書房里沒有鏡子，后來我才放了一面，這樣我可以觀察自己外形的變化。那時(shí)已經(jīng)是凌晨三點(diǎn)了，所有的仆人都睡了，我打定主意，就這個樣子去臥室看看自己，這不會有問題的。我穿過花園，像陌生人一樣進(jìn)了屋，走進(jìn)自己的房間，第一次見到了愛德華·海德的模樣。

At that time，the good side of my character was strongerthan the evil side.Henry Jekyll had his faults，but he wasmostly a good， kind man.I cannot be sure，but I believe thatis the reason why Edward Hyde was so much smaller thanHenry Jekyll.But that was not the only difference betweenthe two men. Henry Jekyll had a kind， open， honest face.Pure evil stared out of Edward Hyde's eyes.I felt no dislike，however.Indeed，I welcomed him.Edward Hyde was me，young and strong and full of life.

那時(shí)，我性格里好的一面比壞的一面強(qiáng)。亨利·杰基爾有自身的缺點(diǎn)，但總的說來是個正直、善良的人。雖不肯定，但我相信這就是愛德華·海德比亨利·杰基爾矮得多的原因。然而，他們的差別還不僅限于此。亨利·杰基爾有一張和藹、開朗、誠實(shí)的面孔，而海德眼里透出的盡是邪惡的目光。但我并沒有覺得不舒服，事實(shí)上，我很樂意接受他。愛德華·海德就是我，年輕，強(qiáng)壯，充滿了活力。

Later，however，I noticed that Hyde's appearance andmanner had a strong effect on other people. Nobody couldmeet Edward Hyde without a feeling of dislike and horror. Ibelieve I understand the reason for this too. Everyone is a mixture of good and evil.Even the worst criminal has a little goodin him. Only Edward Hyde was pure evil.

但后來我發(fā)現(xiàn)海德的相貌和舉止對別人的影響很大，凡是見到他的人沒有不感到既厭惡又害怕的。這個原因，據(jù)我看，是因?yàn)槊總€人都是善與惡的混合體，即使是最壞的罪犯也略有好的一面，而只有海德是完完全全由惡組成的人。

I stood for a long time，staring at the mirror.'Am Itrapped?'I wondered.'If I am，I must leave this house beforedaylight. If I don't， I shall be arrested as a thief.

我在鏡子前面流連了好一陣。“難道我掉進(jìn)陷阱里了?”我納悶，“我還能恢復(fù)原樣嗎?天亮之前，我必須離開這間屋子，否則我會被當(dāng)作小偷抓起來的。”

I hurried back to my study. With trembling hands I mixedanother dose of the drug and drank it.Again I felt that terriblePain and sickness， but a few seconds later I found myself withthe face and body and character of Henry Jekyll once more.

我趕緊回到書房，用顫抖的雙手又配了另一份藥喝下去，再一次遭受那可怕的疼痛和難受，但幾秒鐘過后，我重返原身，又恢復(fù)了亨利·杰基爾的身體、面貌和性格。

I blame myself for the things that happened later. It wasnot the fault of the drug.That was neither good nor evil.Butit opened the prison doors and all owed Edward Hyde toescape.Soon he was out of control. He， you will remember，was wholly evil.Doctor Jekyll was not wholly good， however.He was a normal man with normal faults and weaknesses， andHyde was too strong for him.

我為以后發(fā)生的事情深深感到自責(zé)，不是因?yàn)樗?，藥劑本身沒有錯誤，不好也不壞，但是它卻打開了牢獄之門，讓愛德華·海德得以逃脫，很快我就無法控制他了。你應(yīng)該不會忘記，他是個徹頭徹尾的惡人。杰基爾博士并非一切都好，可不管怎么說，他是個正常的人，有正常人的缺點(diǎn)和弱點(diǎn)，而海德對他來說太強(qiáng)大了。

I welcomed Hyde，therefore.I arranged everything verycarefully.I bought a flat in a poor part of London， where Ikept Hyde's clothes and employed a servant to do the housework.I took a dose of the drug whenever I wanted to forgetmy old， quiet， serious self for a time. In those early daysGod forgive me!-I thought it was all very amusing. DoctorJekyll was well known.Nobody knew Hyde， however， and inhis body I was free to do as I wished.

那時(shí)，我很歡迎海德，仔細(xì)為他安排好了一切。我在倫敦的貧民區(qū)買了一所公寓，存放他的衣服，還雇用了一個仆人做家務(wù)。只要我想忘掉安靜、嚴(yán)肅的自己，就喝上一劑藥。剛開始的時(shí)候——愿上帝寬恕我——我覺得很有趣，杰基爾博士有名望，但沒人認(rèn)識海德，在他的軀體里，我愿意多自由就有多自由。

I will not go into details about my adventures and shamefulacts as Hyde. Jekyll remained as good and kind as ever and always did his best to undo the harm that Hyde did. But as timewent by， Jekyll became less and less able to control Hyde.

我不想多談海德的歷險(xiǎn)和可恥的行為，杰基爾還和以前一樣善良，總是盡量去彌補(bǔ)海德造成的破壞。但是隨著時(shí)間的推移，杰基爾越來越不能控制海德了。

One night Hyde injured a child in the street and a passer-bysaw him.That passer-by was your cousin. I recognized himwhen the two of you came to my window.Your cousin caughtHyde and an angry crowd collected. They asked for money forthe child's family. In the end， in order to escape， Hyde hadto give your cousin a cheque in the name of Jekyll.

一天晚上，海德在街上弄傷了一個小女孩，有人在路上看到了他，那人就是你表弟，有一次你們倆散步到我的窗下，我認(rèn)出了他。你表弟一把抓住海德，憤怒的人群聚了過來，要海德給孩子家賠錢。為了脫身，海德最后給了你表弟一張杰基爾簽名的支票。

I learned my lesson from this， and opened a new bank account in the name of Hyde. I even gave Hyde a different handwriting. I was sure I was safe-but I was wrong.

從這件事上我吸取了教訓(xùn)，以后用海德的名字給他開了新的帳戶，我甚至給了他一個不同的筆跡。我想一切都萬無一失了，但我錯了。

Two months before the murder of Sir Danvers Carew I wentout on one of my evil adventures.Before I went to bed，I tooka dose of the drug and became Doctor Jekyll once more. Iwoke up in bed the next morning with a strange feeling thatsomething was wrong… I looked around the room， thendown at my hand.Henry Jekyll's hand was large，white， andwellmade， but the hand I saw that morning on the bedcoverwas thin，bony， greyish-brown， and hairy.It was the hand ofEdward Hyde.

在丹佛斯·卡魯爵士遇害的兩個月前，我又來了一次邪惡的冒險(xiǎn)。睡覺前我吃了一劑藥，變回杰基爾博士，第二天早晨醒來的時(shí)候我感到有什么不對勁……我看看房間四周，目光落在自己的手上。亨利·杰基爾的手寬大、白皙，十分勻稱，而那天早晨被單上的手卻十分瘦削，又灰又黑，而且毛茸茸的。這是愛德華·海德的手。

Sick with horror， I stared at it. I was Henry Jekyll when Iwent to bed，'I thought.'And now I am Edward Hyde…What possible explanation can there be? And，moreimportant， how can I get to my study and take the drug?'

我瞪著這雙手，驚奇得發(fā)呆，恐懼讓我難受極了。“晚上睡覺的時(shí)候還是亨利·杰基爾，怎么醒來卻成了愛德華·海德……這如何解釋呢?更要命的是，我怎么去書房配藥呢?”

Then I realized that the servants were quite used to the comings and goings of Hyde. I put on Hyde's clothes and marchedconfidently through the house. Poole stared in surprise to seeMr Hyde so early in the morning， but I did not care. Tenminutes later Doctor Jekyll had returned to his own shape andwas sitting down，pretending to eat breakfast.

我忽然意識到仆人們對海德來去出入已經(jīng)習(xí)以為常了。我穿上海德的衣服，裝模作樣地穿過房間。普爾驚訝地瞪著眼，奇怪這么早就看見海德先生，但我也管不了那么多了。十分鐘后，杰基爾博士又恢復(fù)了原形，坐下來，裝出吃早餐的樣子。

Too worried to eat， I sat there thinking hard about my situation. I realized that in recent weeks Hyde had become biggerand stronger， both in body and character.

我擔(dān)心得夠戧，哪里還有胃口。我坐在那兒，想著這一切，意識到近幾周來海德的體格開始長大，越來越強(qiáng)壯，而且性格也越來越強(qiáng)了。

'What will I do，'I thought，' Hyde takes control?'Ithought about the drug. Once，in the early days，it had failedcompletely， and sometimes I had had to take a double dose before I changed into Hyde.Now，however，it was quite easy tobecome Hyde-the problem was to become Jekyll again aftermy adventures.My good self and my evil self were fighting formy mind and body-and my evil self was winning.

“我怎么辦?”我想，“要是海德控制了局面該如何是好?”我又想到了藥，很早以前實(shí)驗(yàn)的時(shí)候，有過一次徹底失敗，有些時(shí)候我必須吃兩劑藥才能變成海德，而現(xiàn)在卻越來越容易了——困難的是冒險(xiǎn)之后如何再變回杰基爾的樣子。我的善良的一半和邪惡的一半在爭奪著我的身心，而邪惡的一半漸漸占了上風(fēng)。

I knew I had to choose between the two， and I chose DoctorJekyll. Perhaps I was not wholly serious about this，however，because I did not sell Hyde's flat or destroy his clothes. Fortwo months I lived the life of a quiet and responsible man. Butsoon I began to miss Hyde-his strong young body， his love oflife and his dark adventures in the narrow， nameless streets ofLondon.One night， when my life as Jekyll seemed imposslblydull and boring， I mixed a dose of the drug and drank it.

看來我不得不在兩者之間進(jìn)行抉擇了，我選擇了杰基爾博士。也許我還有所保留，因?yàn)槲覜]有賣掉海德的公寓，也沒有燒毀他的衣服。有整整兩個月，我是個安詳、負(fù)責(zé)的人，但很快我就開始想念海德了——強(qiáng)壯的體魄，旺盛的生命力以及在那條無名、狹窄的小街上的種種不可告人的冒險(xiǎn)經(jīng)歷。一天晚上，我覺得杰基爾的生活實(shí)在無聊、枯燥，于是我又制了一劑藥，喝了下去。

It was like opening the door of a cage and letting a wild animal escape.That night I became a madman， and beat Sir Danvers to death-for no reason at all.I felt only a wild delight asI hit his body again and again. Afterwards I ran to the flat anddestroyed all my papers. I was not ashamed of my crime. Instead I was filled with a high，sweet excitement. I relived themurder as I walked back home through the streets. I feltstrong and masterful…Edward Hyde had a song on his lipsas he mixed a dose of the drug.

突然，就像打開籠子的門，放出一只野獸，那天晚上，我像個十足的瘋子一樣把丹佛斯爵士活生生打死了——而且無緣無故。每打一下，我只感到狂野地興奮。隨后我跑回公寓把所有文件都燒毀了，我并不為自己的罪行感到汗顏，相反卻洋洋得意，興奮舒暢?；丶业穆飞希疫呑哌呏匦禄匚读藲⑷说淖涛?。我感到自己那么強(qiáng)大，能主宰別人。愛德華·海德一邊配藥，一邊哼著歌。

'Your very good health， SirDanvers!'he laughed as he drank.A moment of terrible pain，then poor Henry Jekyll fell to his knees and begged God to forgive him.

“為你的健康干杯，丹佛斯爵士!”他大笑著喝了藥。先是一陣劇痛，隨后可憐的亨利·杰基爾跪倒在地，乞求上帝的饒耍

When I was myself again，I locked the door that led fromthe street to my laboratory. I broke the key and threw itaway. Goodbye for ever，Mr Hyde!I whispered.

我又恢復(fù)了原形。我鎖上了由小街通往實(shí)驗(yàn)室的門，弄斷了鑰匙，丟在一邊。“海德先生，永別了!”我低聲說道。

The next day the news of the murder was all over London.The servant girl had seen the crime and recognized Mr Hyde.My other self was wanted by the police.

第二天，兇殺案傳遍了倫敦，女仆看到了一切，認(rèn)出了海德。我的另一半成了警察要找的通緝犯。

In some ways I was glad. Now Hyde could not show hisface to the world again. If he did， every honest man in London would be proud to report him to the police.

我多少有點(diǎn)高興，現(xiàn)在海德不能在這個世界上露面了，只要他一出來，倫敦所有正直的人都會毫不留情地向警方報(bào)告的。

Once again I led a busy，responsible and almost happy life…until one fine，clear January day. I was sitting on a seat inthe park，enjoying the sunshine，when suddenly I felt deathlysick.I began to tremble all over. Soon， however， I felt wellagain-not only well， but young，strong and fearless. I lookeddown; my clothes were suddenly too big，the hand on my kneewas the bony，hairy hand of Edward Hyde. It was so sudden.One moment I was a famous and popular doctor，the next Iwas a violent criminal who was wanted for murder.

我再一次過上忙碌、認(rèn)真而快樂的生活，直到……那是1月一個天氣晴朗的下午，我坐在公園的長椅上曬太陽，突然感到難受極了，全身顫抖，但很快又感覺一切都好了，而且還更年輕，強(qiáng)壯，無所畏懼。我看看自己，發(fā)現(xiàn)衣服一下子大了好多，放在膝蓋上的手又成了海德那樣，瘦骨嶙峋，長滿了毛。幾秒鐘之前，我還是個名聲顯赫、受人尊敬的醫(yī)生，一下子卻成了惡毒的兇手，兇殺案的通緝犯。

How could I get to my study to take the drug? I had lockedthe street door to my laboratory and broken the key. I couldnot， therefore，enter from the street. I could not go inthrough the house because of the servants.I needed help fromoutside.I thought of Lanyon，but how could I reach him?And how could I persuade him to let Hyde into his home?How，too，could I persuade him to break into Doctor Jekyll's private study?It looked impossible. Then I remembered.My appearance was unrecognizable，but my handwriting was unchanged.

怎么回書房吃藥呢?從小街通往實(shí)驗(yàn)室的門鎖了，鑰匙也弄斷了，沒法從街上進(jìn)家里，也不可能從大門進(jìn)去，因?yàn)槠腿硕荚谀莾?。我需要另外請人幫助，我想到了蘭寧，但怎么找到他呢?怎么說服他讓海德進(jìn)他家呢?又怎么說服蘭寧去撬開杰基爾博士的私人書房呢?看起來都行不通。

I'could still write a letterin Doctor Jekyll's name!Calling a passing taxicab，I orderedthe driver to drive to a hotel quite near Lanyon's house.Ofcourse Jekyll's clothes were much too large for my body，and Ihad trouble in climbing into the cab.The driver noticed mystrange appearance and could not help laughing.I gave himsuch a black look，however，that the smile froze on his face.In my desperate fear and danger，I was like a pain-maddened animal，ready to kill or wound at any moment.I wanted topull the driver from his seat and murder him then and there.But I was clever too.My life depended on my coolness，and Ifought to control my murderous passions.

忽然我記起來了!雖然外表認(rèn)不出我是杰基爾了，但我的筆跡沒變，我還能以杰基爾博士的名義寫封信!于是我叫了輛出租馬車，讓車夫駛到離蘭寧家很近的一家旅館那兒。當(dāng)然杰基爾的衣服是太大了，坐上馬車也不太容易。車夫看到我這副模樣，忍俊不禁，笑了起來。我白了他一眼，立刻，笑容凝固在他的臉上。在絕望、恐懼和危急中，我好比是讓傷痛激瘋了的野獸，任何時(shí)候都會傷人，我恨不能把車夫從座位上揪下來，立刻殺了他。不過我還不笨，知道自己的性命要靠冷靜行事，所以我好不容易才把殺人的欲望壓了下去。

We reached the hotel.I paid the driver and went inside，holding up my too-large trousers.The servants smiled whenthey saw my strange appearance.I stared angrily at them andtheir smiles disappeared at once.I gave my orders and they ledme to a private room and brought me some writing paper and apen.

到了旅館，我付了錢，走進(jìn)去，提著肥大的褲子，侍者望著我奇怪的樣子都笑了起來。我惡狠狠地瞪了他們一眼，笑容也一下子不見了。我開了房間，他們領(lǐng)我到了一個單間，并拿來了紙筆。

Hyde in danger of his life was a new experience for me.He—I write'he'because I find it hard to write'I'—he wasnot human.His only feelings at that time were fear and hate.Hyde was wholly evil，but he was not stupid.He knew thathis life depended on two letters，one to Lanyon and one toPoole.If he failed，he would die.

海德遇到性命悠關(guān)的事對我來說還是第一次。他，——我說“他”是因?yàn)槲覜]法說那是“我”——他根本不是人。此刻他沒別的心思，只有恐懼和仇恨。海德是徹頭徹尾的地獄之子，但他還不傻，他知道自己的性命依賴兩封信：一封是給蘭寧的，一封是給普爾的，要是沒辦好，那他必死無疑。

Carefully he wrote the letters and sent a servant to postthem.After that he sat all day by the fire in the private room.There too he had dinner，brought by a frightened waiter.Atlast，when darkness had covered the city，he sat in the cornerof a closed taxicab.'Just drive round!'he ordered，and thedriver drove backwards and forwards through the streets ofLondon.

他很仔細(xì)地寫完兩封信，交給當(dāng)差的送走了。此后，他在壁爐邊坐守終日，飯也在房間里吃，是一個嚇破膽的侍者端來的。終于，當(dāng)夜幕全部降臨時(shí)，他坐上了一輛車門緊閉的出租馬車，縮在角落里。“隨便去哪兒，”他吩咐道。馬車夫就在倫敦的街道上前前后后地轉(zhuǎn)來轉(zhuǎn)去。

Then，when Hyde thought the driver was beginning to sus-pect something，he sent the taxicab away and continued onfoot.He was a strange figure in his too-large clothes，withfear and hate staring out of his eyes.He walked along talkingto himself.Once a woman spoke to him 'Will you buy my matches，sir?'she begged.Hyde hit heracross the face，and she ran away in fear.

后來，他想到馬車夫可能會疑心，就把他打發(fā)走了，自己接著步行，穿著那套不合身的大衣服，樣子很奇特，眼睛里仍然透出兩種卑劣的感情：恐懼與仇恨。他一邊走，一邊自言自語，還碰到了個女人和他搭話。“先生，買火柴嗎?”她誠懇地問道。海德卻抽了那女人一耳光，女人嚇得逃得遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)的。

My plan was successful.And when I arrived in Lanyon's house，I took the dose of the drug that returned me to my nor-mal appearance.

我的計(jì)劃成功了。我趕到蘭寧家吃了藥，又恢復(fù)了原形。

Immediately afterwards I felt deeply ashamed.Perhaps itwas Lanyon's horror that made me feel like that.I do notknow.But I hated myself and I was conscious of an importantchange in my feelings.I was no longer afraid of the police-Iwas afraid of Hyde himself.The thought of his short，strong，hairy body and his evil，cruel，wholly selfish mind filled mewith horror.

可是事后我立刻感到羞愧難當(dāng)，也許是老朋友失魂落魄的樣子使我不安，我也不太清楚。但我十分痛恨自己，而且意識到我在感情上發(fā)生了重要的變化。我不再害怕警察——我怕的是海德本人。一想到他那矮孝粗壯、毛茸茸的身體和邪惡、兇狠、極端自私的思想，我就渾身戰(zhàn)栗。

Exhausted by the horrors of that day，I slept heavily.Iwoke in the morning feeling weak and shaky，but quitenormal.I still hated and feared the thought of the wild animalinside me，and I had not forgotten the desperate dangers of theday before.But I was at home and close to my drugs，and Iwas most deeply grateful for my escape.

那天的擔(dān)驚受怕讓我筋疲力盡，我沉沉睡去，早晨醒來后感到十分虛弱，不斷發(fā)抖，但人還正常。我仍然痛恨和害怕心中那個狂暴的野獸，也沒有忘記頭天晚上令人膽寒的危險(xiǎn)，不過我又回到了家，藥就在手邊，我真高興自己九死一生，終于逃了回來。

I was walking across the garden after breakfast，enjoyingthe clear wintry air，when suddenly my body was again tornby those indescribable feelings which I always experienced af-ter a dose of the drug.I only just reached my study before Iwas again burning and freezing with the violent passions ofHyde.With feverish speed I mixed the drug.This time I hadto take a double dose to return to my old shape.And then，on-ly six hours later，the pains returned and I had to repeat thedose.

早飯后，我去花園散步，呼吸呼吸冬天里涼颼颼的空氣。突然身體又是一陣劇痛，就像每次吃過藥后無以名狀的痛苦折磨著我，剛剛碰到書房的門，心里又是一陣翻騰，忽而冰冷忽而灼熱，充斥著海德狂野的欲望。我急不可耐地配了藥，這次喝了雙倍劑量才使我復(fù)原。但是，六個小時(shí)后，劇痛又回來了，我又得服藥。

From that day onwards the situation worsened.I neededlarger and more frequent doses in order to stay in Jekyll's body.The pains came unexpectedly，but most of all when Iwas asleep.I was afraid to go to bed，or even to sleep for afew moments in my chair.If I did so，I always woke as Hyde.

從那天起，情況惡化了，藥量大了，次數(shù)也多了，只有這樣才能維持著杰基爾的外貌。不知什么時(shí)候，痛楚就來了，尤其是睡覺的時(shí)候，我甚至害怕去睡覺，哪怕在椅子上睡幾分鐘。只要稍稍打一會兒盹，醒來就又變成了海德。

Soon Jekyll was a sick man，feverish and weakened by painand fear.As Jekyll grew weaker，Hyde became stronger thanever.He burned with hate for everybody and everything.AndHyde and Jekyll now hated each other with equal passion.Jekyll hated Hyde because Hyde was evil and inhuman，andbecause Hyde was stronger than he was.Jekyll lived in fear ofwaking up and finding himself in Hyde's body，with allHyde's evil passions.Hyde hated Jekyll for a different reason.His fear of death-the punishment for murder-drove him tothe hiding-place of Jekyll's body.But he hated this prison andwas always fighting.to escape from Jekyll's mind and body，and take control.He also hated Jekyll's weakness and his sad，hopeless condition.Most of all,he hated Jekyll's dislike ofhim.This was why Hyde sometimes did things to annoyJekyll.He tore the doctor's books and wrote all over them.He burned his letters and even destroyed a picture of thedoctor's dead father.

很快，杰基爾就成了一個病人，被發(fā)燒、疼痛和恐懼折磨得十分虛弱。而海德卻比以前任何時(shí)候都更強(qiáng)大，不論對誰，對什么事情都充滿了仇恨。他們之間現(xiàn)在對對方也懷著相同的仇恨。對杰基爾來說，他恨海德是因?yàn)楹５滦皭憾覜]有人性，同時(shí)也因?yàn)楹５卤人麖?qiáng)大。他整天提心吊膽，生怕一覺醒來變成海德的樣子，有海德那種邪惡的欲望。海德恨杰基爾，原因卻不同。他怕死——怕受到殺人的懲罰，這一點(diǎn)迫使他把杰基爾的身體當(dāng)作藏身之所。但他又憎恨這所監(jiān)獄，總想掙扎著逃出來，控制一切。他怨恨杰基爾軟弱、憂郁、無助的樣子，但他最恨的還是杰基爾對他的厭惡，所以他有時(shí)跟我搗蛋，激怒我。他撕我的書，在上面涂鴉，他還燒我的信，甚至毀了一幅我父親的肖像。

Only Hyde's fear of his own death stops him from killingme.His love of life is terribly strong，and he knows that if hekills me，he too will die.I almost feel sorry for him.

只是海德自己怕死，所以才沒有殺了我。他對生命渴望極了，他明白要是殺了我，他自己也就死了。我心里不禁對他多少有點(diǎn)憐憫。

It is useless to continue this confession.The final disasterhas arrived，and will put an end to my punishment.I shallsoon lose my own face and character for ever.I have only afew doses of the drug left.I sent Poole to the same chemist tofetch some more chemicals.When he brought them，I mixed adose of the drug.The liquid smoked and changed from red topurple，but it did not turn green.I drank it，and looked in themirror.But there was no effect.Edward Hyde's face stillstared back at me.

繼續(xù)懺悔也沒有用了。最終，災(zāi)難還是到了，終于給我的懲罰畫上了句號。很快我將永遠(yuǎn)失去自己的面貌和本性，因?yàn)橹皇]幾副藥了。我派普爾去了同一家藥店，他買回來后我就配了一劑，同樣有沸騰，有煙霧冒出來，顏色從紅變到紫，但沒變成綠色。我喝下去，望著鏡子，然而發(fā)現(xiàn)無效，愛德華·海德的面孔還在瞪著我。

I expect Poole has told you that I have searched London forthe chemicals I need.It is no good.I have decided that thefirst chemicals I bought were not absolutely pure.By accident，they contained something unknown to myself or to the chemistthat prepared them.And that unknown something made mydrug effective.So my drug was an accidental discovery thatcannot be repeated.

我想普爾已經(jīng)告訴你我找藥找遍了倫敦，但卻毫無結(jié)果，我這才明白第一批貨是不純的，正是我和藥劑師都還不認(rèn)識的那種雜質(zhì)使我的藥成功了。這么說來，我配的藥便是偶然的發(fā)現(xiàn)，不可能重復(fù)的。

About a week has passed.I have used the last of the oldchemicals，and for the moment I am Henry Jekyll again.But Icannot write much more-I have very little time.If Hyde re-turns while I am writing this confession，he will tear it topieces to annoy me.If I finish it，however，he will probablynot notice it.He lives only for the moment，and he is already achanged man.He is like a trapped animal now.He sits in mychair trembling and weeping with hate and fear.All the timehe listens for the policeman's knock at the door.Will he becaught at last，and put to death?Or will he be brave enough totake a dose of poison at the last moment?

一個星期過去了，我用完了最后一點(diǎn)第一批買的藥，這會兒我又是亨利·杰基爾了。但我寫不了多少東西了，時(shí)間不夠了。如果寫這些懺悔時(shí)又變成海德，他會把這些紙撕成碎片來氣我的。但如果我寫完了，他也許不會注意到的。實(shí)際上，他也活不了多久，已經(jīng)成了變態(tài)的人，就像陷阱里的困獸一樣，坐在椅子里打戰(zhàn)，哭泣，又是恨，又是怕。他一直聽著警察的敲門聲。他們會抓住他，把他送上絞刑架嗎?他有勇氣在最后一刻服下毒藥嗎?

Well，that is not my business.This is the true hour of mydeath.When you read this，the Henry Jekyll you know will bedead.The rest of the story is about Edward Hyde.Now，as Iput down my pen，I bring the life of unhappy Henry Jekyll toan end.

好了，這些事我也管不了了。此刻是我生命真正終結(jié)的時(shí)刻?？吹竭@個時(shí)，您所認(rèn)識的亨利·杰基爾已經(jīng)死了，剩下的故事是愛德華·海德的了。我放下了筆，同時(shí)也讓亨利·杰基爾不幸的一生結(jié)束了吧。