牛津書蟲系列 勃朗特一家的故事 08 The best days，and the worst days

8 最好的和最壞的日子

Emily and Anne did know，of course.They had known about Charlotte's book for a long time.Jane Eyre was not the first book that Charlotte had sent to a publisher.Over a year ago she had written another book，The Professor， and sent it to one publisher after another.Each publisher had sent it back，in a packet addressed to Currer Bell.And then Charlotte had sent it， in the same old packet，to another publisher， and then another，and got it back again.

愛米麗和安妮當(dāng)然知道，她們知道夏洛蒂寫了這本書已經(jīng)很長時(shí)間了?！逗?middot;愛》并不是夏洛蒂寄給出版商的第一部書。一年多以前她寫過另一本書，名叫《教授》，寄給了一個(gè)又一個(gè)出版商?？墒敲看味急煌肆嘶貋?，包裹上寫著柯勒·貝爾的名字。夏洛蒂又把包裹按原樣寄出，結(jié)果還是一樣。

'Why didn't you change the paper on the packet， my dear?'I asked.

“可你為什么不把包裹上的紙換一下呢?我親愛的?”我問。

Charlotte smiled.'I didn't think of it， papa.The worst day was when we were in Manchester，going to the eye doctor.Do you remember?The packet came back then.That was the day before I started writing Jane Eyre.'

夏洛蒂笑了。“我沒有想過這個(gè)，爸爸，最壞的一天是我們?cè)诼鼜厮固兀タ囱劭漆t(yī)生之前，您還記得嗎?就在那時(shí)包裹被退回來了，那是我開始寫《簡·愛》的前一天。”

'Do you mean that you started writing Jane Eyre while I was lying in that dark room in Manchester?'

“你是說就是與我躺在曼徹斯特的黑屋子里的時(shí)候，你開始寫《簡·愛》的?”

'That's right，papa.'

“對(duì)啊，爸爸。”

'But that's only six months ago， and here is the book in my hand!'

“可那只是6個(gè)月以前的事啊，現(xiàn)在這本書就已經(jīng)在我手里了!”

'Yes，papa.The book was printed a month after I sent it to the publisher.'

“是的，爸爸。我把稿子寄給出版商一個(gè)月后，這本書就開始印刷了。”

'My dear!They decided very quickly that they liked it，then!'

“親愛的，也就是說他們很快就決定了他們喜歡你的書!”

' I think they did，papa.After all，it is a good book，isn't it?'

“我想是這樣，爸爸。畢竟，這的確是一本好書，對(duì)嗎?”

She smiled at me. I don't think I have ever seen her so hap-py.She is a very small person，Charlotte，and not a beautiful woman;but when she smiles like that，her face shines like a fine painting.My wife，Maria，used to look like that sometimes when I first met her.

她朝我微笑著，我覺得還從未見過她這么快活過。夏洛蒂個(gè)子矮小，也并不美麗;但當(dāng)她那樣微笑時(shí)，臉上就煥發(fā)出光彩，宛如一幅精美的畫。當(dāng)我剛碰到我妻子瑪麗亞時(shí)，她有時(shí)看上去也是這個(gè)樣子。

I took her hand in mine.'It is a very good book，my dear.I cannot tell you how proud I am.'

我把她的手握在我手中。“這是一本非常好的書，親愛的，我說不出有多自豪。”

She touched my hand.'Thank you，papa.But you must not be proud of me alone，you know.Anne and Emily-'

她撫摸著我的手。“謝謝您，爸爸?？赡荒苤粸槲乙粋€(gè)人自豪呀，您知道嗎，還有安妮和愛米麗——”

'Oh no，Charlotte，please!'Emily said.

“噢，不，夏洛蒂，請(qǐng)你別說!”愛米麗說。

But Charlotte did not stop.'….Anne and Emily have writ-ten books too-books just as good as mine—and their books will soon be published as well!Let me introduce you，papa.These young ladies are not your daughters— they are Acton Bell and Ellis Bell，brothers of the famous writer Currer Bell!'

但是夏洛蒂并沒有停下來。“安妮和愛米麗也寫了和我一樣好的書——她們的書很快也要出版了。讓我來介紹一下，爸爸。這些年輕的女士不是您的女兒——她們是阿克頓·貝爾和埃利斯·貝爾，作家柯勒·貝爾的兄弟!”

Emily's face was bright red， but Anne and Charlotte started laughing.I was very surprised.

愛米麗的臉通紅放光，而安妮和夏洛蒂開始放聲大笑。我非常驚訝。

'All three of you!'I said.'But…but why do you use these strange names?'

“你們?nèi)齻€(gè)都出書了!”我說，“不過……不過你們?yōu)槭裁从眠@些古怪的名字呢?”

'Because people are stupid，papa，'Anne said.'No one thinks women can write good books，so we have used men's names instead.And now they say that Currer Bell is a writer who understands women very well!'She laughed again.

“因?yàn)槿藗冇薮溃职帧?rdquo;安妮說，“誰也不相信女人能寫出好書，所以我們就用男人的名字代替?，F(xiàn)在他們說柯勒·貝爾是一個(gè)非常了解女人的作家。”她又笑了起來。

'My dears，my dears!' I held out my hands to them， and kissed each of them in turn.'I don't know what to say.I am so pleased for you all.You have made your old papa happy to-day.'Something in Emily's face stopped me.'Emily?You will let me read your book，won't you?'

“親愛的，親愛的孩子們!”我伸出手摟住她們，挨個(gè)親了親。“我簡直不知道說什么好了。我真為你們高興。你們今天可讓你們的老爸爸開心了!”愛米麗臉上的表情讓我停了下來。“愛米麗，你也會(huì)讓我讀你的書，是嗎?”

She thought for a moment.'Yes，papa.Of course.But… it's very different from Charlotte's.I'm not sure you'll like it.'

她想了一會(huì)兒說：“是的，爸爸。當(dāng)然。但是它和夏洛蒂的書非常不一樣。我不敢保證您會(huì)喜歡它。”

'You yourself are very different from Charlotte，my dear，but I love you both.You must show me the book as soon as it comes-and you too，Anne.'

“你自己就和夏洛蒂非常不同啊，親愛的，可你們兩個(gè)我都喜歡。等你的書一出來，你一定要馬上給我看。還有你，安妮。”

I read both their books that winter.They were very differ-ent.Anne's book-Agnes Grey-was the story of an un-happy governess.As I read it，I was sad to think how miserable Anne had been，in a big house away from home，where no one understood her.It was a good book，but it was harder to read than Jane Eyre.

那年冬天我讀了她們倆的書。它們的確大不一樣。安妮的書——《艾格尼絲·格雷》——是寫一個(gè)不快樂的女家庭教師。我一邊讀，一邊難過地想：在安妮離開家，去那所大房子的日子里，她的處境曾多么悲慘;在那兒沒有人理解她。這是本好書，但比《簡·愛》晦澀些。

Emily's book was called Wuthering Heights.It was a terri-ble，frightening，wonderful story.There is love in it，and hate，and fear，and a man called Heathcliff，who is strong and cruel like the devill himself.I read it late one night when the wind was screaming round the house， blowing snow against all the windows，and sometimes I was afraid. When I got up to go to bed，I saw Emily sitting quietly by the fire.She was stroking her big dog，Keeper，with one hand，and drawing a picture with the other.

愛米麗的書叫做《呼嘯山莊》，那是一個(gè)駭人而奇異的故事。它描述了愛情、仇恨、恐懼和一個(gè)叫希斯克利夫的男人，他強(qiáng)壯、冷酷，像一個(gè)魔鬼。我讀它的那天夜里，風(fēng)在屋子周圍呼嘯著，把雪吹到每一扇窗戶上，有幾次我簡直被嚇壞了。當(dāng)我起身去臥室時(shí)，看見愛米麗靜靜地坐在爐火旁，一只手撫摸著他的“管家”，另一只手在畫畫。

She looked like a quiet，gentle young woman，I thought.Tall，pretty，and also… There was something different about her.Something very strange and very strong.There was some-thing in her that was stronger than any of her sisters，even Charlotte.Something stronger than even me，or her brother Branwell.

她看上去是個(gè)安靜而溫柔的年輕姑娘，我想，個(gè)子高挑、漂亮、而且……有些與眾不同。她有一種非常奇特、非常堅(jiān)強(qiáng)的東西。她身上有種比她任何姐妹都要堅(jiān)強(qiáng)的東西，甚至超過了夏洛蒂，超過了我和她的哥哥布蘭韋爾。

Much stronger than Branwell.

她強(qiáng)過布蘭韋爾許多許多。

All that year Branwell was very ill.He spent more and more time drinking.He slept most of the day，and was awake half of then night.His face was white，his hands shook when he tried to write.His sisters didn't tell him about their books，or show him the new ones that they were writing.They were afraid that he would be unhappy about their success，because he had wanted to be a writer himself.He made life hard for all of us.

那一年布蘭韋爾病得非常厲害。他花更多的時(shí)間在喝酒上。白天差不多整天睡覺，半夜里才醒來。他臉色蒼白，手一寫字就哆嗦。他的姐妹們沒有和他講過她們的書，也沒有給他看過她們正在寫的新書。她們害怕他會(huì)因?yàn)樗齻兊某晒Χy過，因?yàn)樗约罕緛硐氘?dāng)作家。他讓我們大家的日子都不好過。

Is September 1848 he became very ill.He coughed all day and all night.He began to talk of death，and asked us to pray with him.While we stood together，praying，he began to cough again.He fell to the ground.Emily and I put our arms round him，but he couldn't get up. There was blood on his mouth，and on Emily's dress.

1848年9月，他病得更重了，整日整夜地咳嗽。他開始談到死亡，并讓我們和他一起禱告。當(dāng)我們站在一起禱告時(shí)，他又咳嗽起來。他摔倒在地板上。愛米麗和我用胳膊抱住他，可他站不起來了。他嘴里流出了血，流到愛米麗的衣服上。

When he stopped coughing，it was because he had stopped breathing.My only son was dead.

他不再咳嗽了，因?yàn)樗Ｖ沽撕粑?。我唯一的兒子死了?/p>

We buried him in the church beside his mother and little sis-ters.It was a cold，rainy afternoon.There were dead wet leaves in the graveyard，and the wind blew rain into our faces.I came back into the house soon afterwards，but Emily walked for an hour or two in the rain with her dog，Keeper.When she came back into the house，her dress was wet through.

我們把他埋在教堂，挨著他媽媽和他的小姐姐們。那是個(gè)寒冷的、陰雨連綿的下午。墓地上鋪著枯葉，風(fēng)把冷雨吹到我們臉上。后來我很快回到屋里，可愛米麗帶著“管家”在雨中走了一兩個(gè)小時(shí)。等她回家時(shí)，衣服全濕透了。

Several days later Emily became ill.Her face was hot，she couldn't eat，she kept moving round the house.It was difficult for her to breathe，and it took her a long time to climb the stairs.Charlotte felt her heart—it was beating a hundred and fifteen times a minute.

幾天后，愛米麗病倒了。她的臉在發(fā)燒，吃不下東西，可她仍然在房子周圍走來走去。她呼吸困難，上樓梯要花很長時(shí)間。夏洛蒂試了試她的心跳——1分鐘跳到了115次。

'Let me call a doctor，Emily，' Charlotte said.

“我去叫醫(yī)生吧，愛米麗。”夏洛蒂說。

But Emily refused.'If he comes，I won't talk to him.'

可愛米麗拒絕了。“如果他來，我就不理他。”

'Then go to bed and rest，please.I can light a fire in your room，and bring you milk and read to you if you like.You need rest，sister!'

“那么上床休息吧，求你了。我給你在房間生上火，再給你端杯牛奶。如果你愿意，我念書給你聽。你需要休息，妹妹。”

'I…do…not!'said Emily slowly.She had to breathe hard between each word，and her face was as white as Branwell's had been.'My body…doesn't… matter now.I don't…care…about it.I'll live…as I always…have.'

“我……不……需要!”愛米麗慢慢地說。每說一個(gè)字她都要艱難地喘半天氣，臉色像布蘭韋爾的一樣蒼白。“我的身體……沒有……關(guān)系。我不……在乎。我要……和往常……一樣。”

And so，every day，she got up at seven o'clock，dressed her-self，and stayed downstairs until ten at night.She ate little or nothing，and coughed for hours.Sometimes she coughed blood.She never went out of the house，but one day Charlotte brought some heather from the moors for her to look at. Emily was lying on the black sofa in the sitting-room.Her dog，Keep-er，lay on the floor in front of her.

這樣，每天她7點(diǎn)鐘起床，穿好衣服，在樓下呆到晚上10點(diǎn)。她吃得很少，或者干脆不吃，幾個(gè)小時(shí)地咳嗽。有時(shí)咳出了血。她再也沒出過門。但有一天夏洛蒂從荒野摘了些石楠來給她看。愛米麗躺在客廳的黑沙發(fā)上，她的“管家”趴在她前面的地板上。

'Look，Emily，'Charlotte said.'I've found some purple heather for you.There are still one or two flowers left on the moor.

“看，愛米麗。”夏洛蒂說，“我給你采了些紫石楠花，野地里有一兩朵還沒凋謝。”

'Where?'Emily asked.

“在哪兒?”愛米麗問。

'Here.Look.'Charlotte held out the small，bright purple flower.

“這兒，看。”夏洛蒂遞過紫色的小花。

Emily turned and looked at Charlotte， but I don't think she could see the heather.Her eyes were too bad. Charlotte put it in Emily's hands，but after a moment Emily dropped it on the floor.

愛米麗轉(zhuǎn)過頭來看著夏洛蒂，可我覺得她看不見石楠了。她的視力太糟了。夏洛蒂把花放到愛米麗手中，可過了一會(huì)兒，愛米麗把花掉到了地板上。

At last she said：'Charlotte，I…will see…the doctor now. If he…comes.'Then she closed her eyes.

終于她說：“夏洛蒂，我……要看……醫(yī)生了，如果他……能來的話。”說完她閉上眼睛。

Emily was so thin，and her white skin looked like paper. I knew it was too late，but I said to Anne：'Quick!Put on your coat and fetch him，now!'

愛米麗已經(jīng)非常消瘦，蒼白的皮膚看上去像紙一般。我知道已經(jīng)太遲了，可還是對(duì)安妮說：“快，穿上外套去叫醫(yī)生，馬上!”

We did not have long to wait.The doctor came，half an hour later，to tell us what we already knew. Emily，my daughter，was dead.

沒等多久——半小時(shí)以后醫(yī)生就來了。他告訴了我們已知道的消息。愛米麗，我的女兒，她死了。

1848 was a year of funerals.I buried many children from the village that year.There was a lot of sadness in Haworth.As I came out of the church with the dead flowers from Emily's grave，I saw three other families walk past me.They had come to visit the graves of their own dead children.

1848年是個(gè)葬禮之年，那年我主持了村中許多孩子的葬禮?；粑炙钩錆M悲哀的氣氛。當(dāng)我拿著愛米麗墓前枯萎的花從教堂里出來時(shí)，還看見另外3家人從我身旁走過，他們也是來給自己死去的孩子掃墓的。

The people understood that their children were with God，but no one could explain that to Emily's dog，Keeper.He fol-lowed us to her funeral，and for weeks afterwards，he lay out-side her bedroom and howled.

人們知道他們的孩子是和上帝在一起了，但沒有人能給愛米麗的“管家”解釋這個(gè)。它跟著我們參加了她的葬禮，以后好幾個(gè)星期，它躺在她的臥室門外，叫著。