生活英語聽力文章：培養(yǎng)默契的12種快捷方式
One of the keys to my success as an entrepreneur has been my ability to quickly build rapport with people. This was especially important when I was a realtor as I generally had less than one hour to get a seller to like and trust me enough to employ my services.
In this two part series, I will share with you 12 ways you can accelerate the rapport building process. These methods can be used during your next job interview, when you meet with a prospective client or at the next social event you attend. Essentially, they can be used in any situation to quickly build relationships.
If you have been following my daily blog posts, you have learned about these lessons when I covered them individually, but in today’s lesson I want to highlight their value in quickly building rapport with people you’ve never met.
1. Be On Time—When you are on time for a scheduled meeting, call or appointment you demonstrate your respect for people’s time. You also show that you honor your commitments, you are dependable and can be trusted. When you are late, you do the exact opposite and undermine your ability to quickly build a valued relationship.
Starting today, make it a point to arrive five minutes early for all your business and personal appointments.
2. Look Good—The first impression you make on people creates a lasting impression and it begins with the way we look. A good appearance includes the way you groom yourself and the clothing and jewelry you wear. All these little things combine to form your overall “look.”
If you want to make a great first impression, make sure you look like someone who takes pride in your appearance. Yes, it requires a little extra effort, but it is worth it.
3. Smile—When you meet people for the first time, the first thing they are going to notice is your overall look, but then their attention will immediately go to your face. If you offer a warm, welcoming and sincere smile, they will be instinctively drawn to you. The key with your smile is to show an authentic interest in the other person, rather than the standard half-hearted smile that almost everyone uses.
Not only should you focus on your smile when you first meet a person, but you also want to focus on smiling during your time together. The more you smile, the more people will like you.
4. Make Eye Contact—When you are engaged in a conversation with someone, make sure you maintain comfortable eye contact with this person. When you make eye contact, focus on communicating your sincere interest in the person, rather than just starring into his or her eyes. It’s a small, but powerful distinction.
5. Your Handshake—The impression you make on people through your handshake influences how they feel about you. A proper handshake is even more important when meeting people for the first time. The manner in which you extend your hand, the degree of firmness and the timing demonstrate your poise and confidence and will inevitably set the tone for your relationship.
Men, when you meet other men, be the first to offer your hand. When meeting women, wait for them to offer their hand. Women, when you meet both men and women in a business environment, immediately offer a firm handshake. Men and women who initiate a handshake are generally viewed as being confident.
6. Make Your Welcome Greeting Stand Out—The key here is to take 10 seconds and make them feel like the most important person on this earth. Most people simply shake a person’s hand and say the standard, “nice meeting you”, so this is your chance to stand out from the crowd as someone who is truly pleased to meet them.
When we meet people whether it be in person or over the phone, we intuitively and often times within seconds, form an opinion of them. Here’s a secret: they do the same thing when meeting us.
If we are intentional we can use this natural tendency to positively influence how people view us. And if we are extra intentional and focus on the 12 lessons outlined in this two part series, we can accelerate this process and build rapport in a very short period of time.
In yesterday’s lesson I reviewed with you the first six ways and in today’s lesson I will cover the remaining six. Whether you are trying to make a great first impression on your date or with a prospective client, applying these lessons will allow you to quickly connect with people.
7. Repeat Their Names— Have you ever met someone for the first time who hardly looked you in your eyes, said the standard nice to meet you greeting without any authenticity behind their words and couldn’t remember your name five seconds later? What impression did this person make on you?
When you greet people, make it a point of saying their names in your initial conversation. For example, “It’s a pleasure to meet you Sharon.” And then when the conversation concludes, use their name again such as, “Sharon, it was a real pleasure getting to know you.” When you say people’s names you are showing them they are important to you.
8. Be Friendly—While this seems so obvious, so few people are intentional about coming across friendly when meeting people. Most people act like it is an every day occurrence and don’t think about the impression they are making on others. When people are friendly it is generally just during their initial greeting, but then they forget it’s important.
Not only do you want to be intentional about being friendly when you meet people, but you want to focus on being friendly during your entire time together. When you are authentically friendly it is reflected through your facial expressions, body language, voice tone and through the words you speak. Think of the friendliest people you know and learn from their example.
9. Show an Interest in Them—One of the keys, if not the most important one in building successful relationships is your ability to show a sincere interest- both in the person and things that are important to that person. The key with this point is to focus on them, NOT you!
By expressing genuine interest in someone’s qualities, background, stories, hobbies, career or family you are demonstrating in interest in them.
When I was in real estate I would pay attention to the things in people’s homes, because it told me what is important to them. I then asked them questions about these things and in most cases they lite up like a light bulb and talked with great enthusiasm about these things. It was one thing I focused on in EVERY appointment, because it made a difference.
10. Listen With Interest—Being a good listener is one of the most important skills you can master if you want to advance your career and build meaningful relationships. Listening is more than keeping your mouth shut while the other person is talking. When you REALLY listen, you demonstrate your interest in what is being said and you show your respect for the individual saying it.
When you are having a conversation with people they can instinctively tell how interested you really are in the conversation. This is communicated through your body language, the questions you ask and the expressions on your face. This is easy for me if it’s a subject in which I am interested. If the subject is not of interest I have to be extra careful about how I am projecting myself.
11. Compliment Them—When people take the time to offer you a sincere compliment, how does that make you feel about them? Are you naturally drawn to people who speak positively of you? When you meet people and begin talking, look for the things in which you can compliment them. When you identify something, then look for the right time to offer your compliment with a feeling of genuineness and authenticity.
When I am intentional about building relationships with people I am always look the little ways I can compliment or encourage them.
12. Model Them—Have you ever noticed how you are drawn to people with whom you share things in common? This is called the law of attraction and means that you will inevitably attract to people into your life that are similar to you. Modeling is a technique I learned from Anthony Robbins, which is when you mirror or match the non-verbal and verbal communication of others.
As an example, when I am around people who talk softly, then I moderate my voice and speak softly. If they talk slowly, then I will do my best to match their speed and speak slowly. If they lean back in their chair, then I will casually lean back. If they lean forward, I will wait a couple seconds then slowly lean forward. Just remember, the more people intuitively feel you have in common, the more they will be attracted to you.
If you will work on the 12 rapport accelerators I have shared with you over the last two days, people will be drawn to you like a magnet. If you are intentional about using these lessons in your career, there is no doubt you will enjoy greater success. If you use them in your personal life, you will build more meaningful relationships and become a more valued friend.
I want to challenge you to focus on these 12 lessons when meeting people this next week. Let me also encourage you to learn more about each of these lessons by reading my related posts below.
If you will be intentional about working on these six points, you will definitely make a positive impression on everyone you meet and you will stand out from the crowd as someone who cares. In tomorrow’s lesson I will share six more tips to accelerate the rapport building process.
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