你的生活守則里有什么?
Each of us has our own rulebook. Our rulebooks contain the rules from which we each live our lives and see the world. It includes everything from how we want the toilet paper to unfold on the roller to the things we do when no one is watching. It is the book that governs how we make decisions and influences every part of our lives.
我們每個(gè)人都有自己的生活守則。我們的守則里包含的規(guī)則,來(lái)源我們?nèi)绾紊钜约叭绾慰创@個(gè)世界。它包羅萬(wàn)象,從我們?nèi)绾蜗胍o衛(wèi)生紙上輥,到當(dāng)沒(méi)有人在旁邊注意我們時(shí),我們?nèi)绾涡惺隆_@本書控制我們?nèi)绾巫龀鰶Q定,影響著我們生活的每一部分。
Taking the Rules Test
測(cè)試你的生活守則
The truth about all of our rulebooks is they contain things that break the law, go against our religions and violate others trust. Now before you get all excited thinking “You’re wrong, Todd. I’m not guilty.” Consider these questions:
我們所有生活守則的真相,包含違反法律的事情,違背我們的宗教信仰,褻瀆他人的信任?,F(xiàn)在現(xiàn)別激動(dòng)地發(fā)表你的想法,“托德,你錯(cuò)了。我是無(wú)辜的。”考慮一下如下這些問(wèn)題:
If you are driving through an empty parking lot late at night and see a stop sign with no car in eyesight, will you come to a complete stop before proceeding?
Do you go over the posted speed limit?
Do you follow your religious leaders’ doctrine/theology without exception?
Are there things that you do privately that your spouse or significant other would not approve of?
Do you ever make personal calls, scan your own emails, or handle your personal matters when your employer is paying you to do your job?
Do you feel that under the right circumstances it is acceptable not to tell someone the whole truth?
Do you ever find yourself exaggerating the facts to persuade others to your point of view?
If we are honest with ourselves, none of us do everything the world’s laws say we should do. We have each chosen to accept some and justify not doing others.
如果你在深夜開車穿過(guò)空曠的停車場(chǎng),看到視野之內(nèi),有一個(gè)沒(méi)有車的停車標(biāo)志,你會(huì)完全停止前行嗎? 你超過(guò)最高限速嗎? 你會(huì)一概追隨你的宗教領(lǐng)袖的教義或是神學(xué)嗎? 會(huì)不會(huì)私下做一些你的伴侶不會(huì)同意的事? 你是否曾經(jīng)做過(guò)類似的事,你的雇主付給你薪水做你正當(dāng)工作的同時(shí),你去打私人電話,掃描自己的私人電子郵件,或處理你的個(gè)人問(wèn)題? 你認(rèn)為在合適的情況下,不告訴別人全部的事實(shí)真相而有所保留可以接受嗎? 你有沒(méi)有發(fā)現(xiàn)自己夸大事實(shí)來(lái)說(shuō)服他人接受你的觀點(diǎn)呢? 如果我們對(duì)自己誠(chéng)實(shí),就沒(méi)有人會(huì)做,世上的法律規(guī)定我們應(yīng)該做的一切事情。我們每個(gè)人都是有選擇的接受一些,為其他沒(méi)做到的辯護(hù)。
We ALL have our own set of laws or rules from which we each live our lives. These rules influence everything, from how we live our lives today to who we become tomorrow.
我們所有人都有自己的一套關(guān)于生活的法律或規(guī)則。這些規(guī)則影響一切,從我們今天的生活方式到明天我們成為怎樣的人。
As an example, many of these blog posts represents the rules that govern my life.
作為一個(gè)例子,許多這些博客文章描繪了我如何管理生活的準(zhǔn)則。
Helping or Hindering Me
是予以幫助還是給予阻礙
Let me encourage you to start paying attention to your rules. As you look at the decisions you are making each day, start questioning them. Ask yourself, “What is my rule for making this decision? Is this rule helping me achieve the things that are important to me, or is it is hurting me?”
我鼓勵(lì)你,開始關(guān)注你的規(guī)則。當(dāng)你看看每一天你做的決定,開始質(zhì)疑他們。問(wèn)問(wèn)自己,“是哪條生活守則讓我做出這個(gè)決定?這個(gè)規(guī)則事幫助我實(shí)現(xiàn),對(duì)我很重要的事情,還是傷害我?”
If you choose to sleep-in rather than get up early to knock out an important project, question your rule for making this decision.
If you feel it’s acceptable to scan your phone for messages while engaged in a conversation, then question your rule.
If you make the choice not to exercise today, question your rule.
If you feel it is okay not to focus on meeting the needs of your spouse, if he or she is not making an effort to meet yours, question your rule.
If you think it is okay to show up five minutes late when meeting a friend for lunch, question your rule.
To identify the rule behind any decision you make, ask yourself, “What is my basis or justification for this decision?” The answer is one of the rules in your rulebook. Try it out.
如果您選擇躺在床上酣眠,而不是早起,全力以赴做一個(gè)重要項(xiàng)目,質(zhì)疑讓你做出這個(gè)決定的生活守則?! ∪绻阌X(jué)得可以接受,會(huì)談過(guò)程中不停查看你的電話消息,然后質(zhì)疑您的守則。 如果今天做出選擇不去運(yùn)動(dòng),質(zhì)疑你的守則。 如果你覺(jué)得,如果你的配偶,他或她沒(méi)有作出努力來(lái)滿足你的需求,你也不用關(guān)注他或她的需求,是可接受的,質(zhì)疑您的守則。 如果你與朋友一起吃午飯,認(rèn)為可以晚到五分鐘,質(zhì)疑您的生活守則?! 〈_定你做出任何決定,背后的規(guī)則,問(wèn)問(wèn)自己,“我做這一決定的基礎(chǔ)或理由是什么?“答案就是你生活守則里的那些準(zhǔn)則。試一試。
Finding the Answers
找到答案
What is critical to comprehend is that all the decisions you make that ultimately influence your success, happiness, and fulfillment are based on your rulebook.
理解問(wèn)題的關(guān)鍵是,你所有的決定,最終影響你的成功,幸福和滿足,而這些都基于你的生活守則。
If your career is not headed in the direction you would like, the answer can be found in your rulebook.
If your marriage is not going as you had hoped, the answer is located in your rulebook.
If your relationships are not growing and developing, the answer once again can be found in your rulebook.
If you are not happy, guess what! The answer can be found in your rulebook.
If your life is not fulfilling, you’re right, the answer is in your rulebook.
The reason all the answers are in your rulebook is because you are where you are at this very point in your life, based on the choices you have made. All these decisions are based on your rules.
如果你的事業(yè)不是朝著你希望的方向前進(jìn),你的生活守則中可以找到答案?! ∪绻愕幕橐霾蝗缒闼?答案位于你的生活守則?! ∪绻愕娜穗H關(guān)系沒(méi)有增長(zhǎng),沒(méi)有發(fā)展,可以再次在生活守則里找到答案?! ∪绻悴豢鞓?lè),你猜怎么著!你的生活守則中可以找到答案?! ∪绻銓?duì)生活不滿足,你對(duì)了,答案是你的生活守則?! ∷械拇鸢付荚谀愕纳钍貏t,其原因是因?yàn)槟愕纳钪?,在這個(gè)節(jié)點(diǎn),你所處的位置,都是基于自己的選擇。所有這些決定都是基于你的守則。
If you had a business that went bad because you didn’t do your research, then your rulebook does not put an emphasis on research.
If you continue to show up late for your appointments, then your rulebook does not have a strong position on respecting other people’s time.
If you’re constantly broke, then your rulebook doesn’t include living below your means.
If you are overweight, then is there a chance your rulebook puts a greater emphasis on your selfish desires rather than on proper eating, exercising, and taking care of your health?
If you’re not challenging yourself to get better, then your rulebook doesn’t believe that “getting better” is important.
If you are not someone who pushes yourself to do the things you know you should do, then your rulebook does not place a high value on discipline.
Your entire life today is the sum total result of the quality of your choices and decisions to this moment. If you are not happy with any part of your life, it is up to you to begin to make different choices and better decisions and the place to start is by questioning the underlying rules behind your decision.
如果你是生意人,因?yàn)闆](méi)有做市場(chǎng)調(diào)研,而導(dǎo)致生意慘淡,你的生活守則里沒(méi)有突出市場(chǎng)研究的重要性。如果你繼續(xù)約會(huì)遲到,那么你的生活守則里,沒(méi)有強(qiáng)調(diào)尊重別人時(shí)間的重要性。 如果你經(jīng)常破產(chǎn),那么你的生活守則不包括你生活應(yīng)當(dāng)量入為出?! ∪绻愠?那么是不是很可能,你的生活守則更重視你自私的欲望而不是適當(dāng)?shù)娘嬍?鍛煉,照顧你的健康? 如果你沒(méi)有挑戰(zhàn)自我,自我改進(jìn),那么你的生活守則,不相信“提升自我”是很重要的。 一個(gè)人,如果不強(qiáng)迫自己去做,自己知道應(yīng)該做的,那么你的生活守則不重視紀(jì)律?! ∧憬裉斓恼麄€(gè)生活,是你全部的選擇和此刻決定的總和。如果你不滿意生活的任何一部分,由你自己開始做出不同的選擇,做更好的決策,開始質(zhì)疑做出決定,背后的潛在規(guī)則。
You are the author of your own rulebook. You can rewrite those rules that are holding you back from becoming the person you want to be and from achieving the happiness and success you desire.
你是自己生活守則的創(chuàng)作者。你可以重寫那些阻礙你成為你想成為的人的規(guī)則,重寫那些阻礙實(shí)現(xiàn)你想要的幸福和成功的規(guī)則。