生活英語聽力文章：和朋友建立融洽的關(guān)系

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　　Modeling Builds Rapport

　　效仿他人構(gòu)建融洽關(guān)系

　　Have you ever noticed how you are drawn to people with whom you share things in common? This is called the law of attraction and means that you will inevitably be attracted to people into your life that are similar to you. We don’t need to look far beyond our close friends to understand that we are drawn to people with similar interests. So, how can you use this natural tendency to your advantage in all of your relationships?

　　你有沒有注意到你會被和你有共同點的人所吸引?這就是所謂的吸引準則，你會不可避免的被和你相似的人吸引進入你的生活。我們在朋友圈中就能看出我們會被和我們有共同愛好的人吸引。所以你怎么把這一自然趨勢當成優(yōu)勢用在你的人際關(guān)系中呢?

　　Two key methods come to mind:

　　請記住兩個關(guān)鍵的方法

　　Become aware of activities, interests and relationships you may have in common with people and pay particular attention during conversations. You may both have children, you may both work in the same part of town, you may both have a son who plays soccer, or you may both like Thai food.

　　Throughout my career I have made it a point of asking people questions with the goal of identifying things we have in common. Once I identify something we have in common, I transition the conversation to that subject. When I do, I almost immediately feel them connecting with me.

　　留心你們共同的活動、興趣和人際關(guān)系，尤其是在交談中特別關(guān)注下。你們可能都有孩子，在同一個地段上班，都有一個踢足球的兒子，或者都喜歡泰國菜。通過暢談職業(yè)我問一些問題用以辨認我們是否有共同點。一旦發(fā)現(xiàn)有共同點，我會把話題轉(zhuǎn)移過去，當我這么做時，我?guī)缀趿⒖谈械剿麄兿蛭铱拷恕?/p>

　　Model people. What do I mean? Modeling is a technique to mirror or match the non-verbal and verbal communication of others. As an example, when I am around people who talk softly, then I moderate my voice and speak softly. If they talk slowly, then I will do my best to match their speed and speak slowly. If they lean back in their chair, then I will casually lean back. If their legs are crossed, then I will cross my legs.

　　Now you may think that people will notice that you are modeling them and misinterpret the behavior as mimicking. While there is a risk of this occurring, it really depends on how obvious you are in your modeling. For example, if I am sitting at a table with someone who leans back in their chair, I won’t instantly lean back; rather I will wait a couple seconds to model their position.

　　效仿他人。這是什么意思呢?它是反映或匹配他人非口頭或口頭交流的一種手段。拿個例子來說吧，當我身處一群話語輕柔的人中，我會減輕語調(diào)和語速，如若他們說話很慢，我就會盡量匹配他們的語速，說話也慢下來，如若他們靠椅而坐，我也會隨意的靠椅而坐，他們要是把腿交叉起來，我也會這樣。你會覺得別人會發(fā)覺你在效仿他們并可能誤解你的這種行為是一種模仿的行為。當這種情況發(fā)生時，主要是因為你效仿的時候太過明顯。舉個例子吧，如果我和一個背靠椅而坐的人坐在一起，我不會立即這樣做，我會等個幾秒中再去效仿他人的行為。

　　I have been using this method of building rapport for more than 23 years and I am not aware of a time when someone picked up on the fact that I was modeling him or her. After all, why should people be suspicious? You are just like them.

　　我用這種方式和朋友建立超過23年的融洽關(guān)系，期間我從未發(fā)覺他人覺得我是在模仿他或她。畢竟，他們也沒有理由去懷疑呀。你僅僅只是喜歡他們而已嘛。

　　There will also be occasions when you will want to lead those you are modeling. For instance, if you are with a prospective client and you find yourselves both leaning back while engaging in small talk, a posture change would be appropriate when the conversation shifts to the business at hand. In that scenario, it may be appropriate to change your posture and lean forward to emphasize or show them something. In most cases they will follow your lead and lean forward.

　　也會有你去引導你想要效仿的人的時候。比如，當你和潛在客戶向后傾斜閑聊，如果把話題轉(zhuǎn)移到手頭工作上這時最好改變下坐姿。這種情況下最好身體前傾去強調(diào)或顯示一些東西給他們，大多數(shù)情況下他們會依著你的指導前傾身體的。

　　This past week a gentleman with enormous energy interviewed me. I had done my research prior to the interview and knew I would have to step up my energy to match his. When we were finished, he gave me a high five and said, “Todd, that turned out great!” I am confident that modeling my energy with his created an instant bond.

　　上周以為精力十足的紳士面試了我。在此之前我做了研究，知道我必須要顯示和這項工作匹配的能力出來。當面試結(jié)束后，他對我很滿意，說到“Todd,你太棒了!”我很有信心把我的能力和他的債券匹配在一起。

　　I first learned of the technique of the mirroring and modeling in Anthony Robbins’s bestselling book Unlimited Power. If you would like to learn more about this powerful rapport building technique I would encourage you to read this book. It was one of the best books I have ever read.

　　我首次聽說鏡像與匹配理論是在安東尼羅賓斯的暢銷書---無窮的力量。如果你想了解更多構(gòu)建和諧關(guān)系的技術(shù)，我建議去讀這本書。它是我讀到過的最好的書中的一本。

　　One of the greatest benefits of mirroring and modeling is its ability to accelerate the rapport building process. In my real estate career modeling enabled me to quickly build rapport with my prospective clients, most of whom I had never met before our initial meeting. The end result was 92% of these residential sellers selected me to sell their homes.

　　鏡像匹配最大的一個好處是能過加速構(gòu)建和諧關(guān)系的進程。在我的房地產(chǎn)事業(yè)中，競相匹配理論讓我和潛在客戶快速建立和諧關(guān)系，他們中的很多人都是第一次見，最終有92%的賣家選我來出售他們的房屋。

　　If you take the time to build rapport, you will establish an environment of trust and understanding. It is from this foundation that meaningful relationships are built.

　　如果你在構(gòu)建融洽關(guān)系上花費時間，你就會營造出一個信任與理解的環(huán)境。這是構(gòu)建有意義的人際關(guān)系的基礎(chǔ)。

　　Modeling requires a conscious effort. Choose a safe situation to practice-with a good friend or a family member. Mirror their voice tone, tempo and posture. It may be awkward at first but you will soon recognize its value. Just have fun with it. You have nothing to lose.

　　效仿需要有意識的的努力。選擇一個安全的情況，在一個好朋友或家庭成員里實踐。反映他們的語音語調(diào)，節(jié)奏和姿勢。剛開始它可能很別扭但你很快就會認識到它的價值。去感受它的樂趣。你沒有什么可失去的。

　　Modeling people is one of the fastest and most effective ways to build rapport.

　　效仿他人是最快的最有效的構(gòu)建融洽關(guān)系的方法。