胡敏讀故事記托福詞匯071：諷刺小品一則 A cynical story

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“Professor, please tell me how I can properly prepare myself to be a good disciple?” the earnest student asked his new master. “I really don’t feel confident enough to trust my own discretion.”

“老師，請(qǐng)您告訴我怎樣才能把自己真正培養(yǎng)一個(gè)優(yōu)秀的門徒?一名真誠(chéng)的學(xué)生問(wèn)他的新校長(zhǎng)。“我真覺(jué)得沒(méi)有足夠的信心來(lái)相信自己的判斷力。”

“You must discipline yourself,” replied the elderly master with a serious expression. “You must disentangle yourself from your wayward habits and earthly desires. You must be able to disclaim all of your worldly possessions without becoming disconsolate. A discontented disciple cannot free his mind. Disclose any bad thoughts that you have during your confessions. We will not hold you in disfavor for being honest. Meditate for at least eight hours each day, regardless of the discomfort. Do not let anyone or anything discourage you from continuing your studies here. Ignore outsiders who disdain our way of life or try to discredit our special teachings. You must not allow our difficult way of life to discomfit you. Remember a discordant mind will have great difficulty merging with nature. Lastly, you should learn to be discreet in everything you do. In this way, you will earn the respect of your teachers and your fellow disciples.”

“你必須訓(xùn)練自己，”上年紀(jì)的校長(zhǎng)回答時(shí)表情很嚴(yán)肅，“你必須擺脫自己任性的習(xí)慣和塵世的欲望。你必須能夠做到放棄你所有財(cái)產(chǎn)而無(wú)半點(diǎn)悲傷。一個(gè)不知滿足的人，其思想是無(wú)法解放的。懺悔時(shí)要暴露自己全部的壞思想，我們不會(huì)因?yàn)槟愕恼\(chéng)實(shí)而不喜歡你。不管有什么不適，也要每天冥想至少八小時(shí)，不要讓任何人、任何事阻礙你在這繼續(xù)學(xué)習(xí)。對(duì)那些鄙視我們的生活方式或試圖懷疑我們特別教義的局外人要不屑一顧。不可以讓艱苦的生活把你打敗。記住，一顆自身不和諧的心靈很難與自然融合。最后，你應(yīng)該學(xué)會(huì)做任何事都要謹(jǐn)慎小心。這樣的話，你就會(huì)贏得老師和同學(xué)們的尊重。”

“But professor, I can’t seem to concentrate,” said the student. “In my discourse with the deity, my speech tends to be discursive. I have had five discrete episodes of meditation failure. What shall we do?”

“但是老師，我似乎不能集中思想，”學(xué)生說(shuō)，“我與神對(duì)話時(shí)，我常常會(huì)語(yǔ)無(wú)倫次，已經(jīng)分別有五次冥想失敗的事情發(fā)生了，你看我該怎么辦?”

“This is not uncommon,” replied the master with a wide smile. “You need to consult a meditation book. I have written a good one. For a limited time, you can buy a copy of it in our bookstore for a 10% discount.”

“這很常見(jiàn)。”校長(zhǎng)咧開(kāi)嘴笑著說(shuō)，“你需要查閱一下冥想方面的書(shū)。我寫(xiě)的那本不錯(cuò)。不用多大功夫，你可以在我們書(shū)店買一本，還可以打九折。”