煩人的橙子: Hey! Hey guys, what's so funny?
(Fruit Basket fruits are catalling and greeting)
煩人的橙子: Hey! Hey, Apple!
墨西哥辣椒:Are you talking to me? Hello, my orange friend.
煩人的橙子: Hey, Apple! How'd you get so skinny?
青蘋(píng)果: Hey, he's not an apple!
克萊門(mén)氏小柑橘: Yeah, shut up, Orange.
青蘋(píng)果: It's okay. Go on, Chili Gordo.
煩人的橙子: (snickers) You called Apple "Gordo."
墨西哥辣椒:Yes, yes she did. You see Orange, I have many names.
煩人的橙子: Like Apple.
墨西哥辣椒:No, I am not an apple. My name is... Jalapeño.
(The Fruit Basket fruits scream)
克萊門(mén)氏小柑橘: He's so hot!
(Title card rolls in)
煩人的橙子: Hey, hey Gordo!
墨西哥辣椒:Yes, my orange friend.
煩人的橙子: I thought you were hot.
墨西哥辣椒:I am.
煩人的橙子: So why do they call you "chili"? (laughs)
Papaya: Hey, shut up, Orange! You're being so stupid; stop it!
煩人的橙子: Geez, talk about a bowl movement. (laughs)
桃子: Mr. Jalapeño, I have this friend and like, she was wondering if you'd ever be interested in... in a peach?
墨西哥辣椒:Interested? No.
桃子: (dissapointed) Oh...
墨西哥辣椒:I would be more than interested. (Peach becomes happy) And please, tell your friend she looks quite lovely today.
(Fruit Basket fruits are gasping and admiring)
梨子: Oh, my God. You are so smooth. Orange, did you see that? How does he do that?
煩人的橙子: Don't ask me. How am I supposed to Jalape-know? (laughs)
墨西哥辣椒:(chucles) Touché, Orange.
煩人的橙子: Gesundheit.
墨西哥辣椒:You know Orange, you remind me of someone.
克萊門(mén)氏小柑橘: Please don't say me. Please don't say me.
煩人的橙子: Really?
墨西哥辣椒:Yes, you see, my friend, I wasn't always so smooth.
(there comes a flashback that shows a much younger Jalapeño)
墨西哥辣椒:Hey, hey, Habanero, hey!
朝天椒: What?
墨西哥辣椒:Habanero, hey!
朝天椒: What?!
墨西哥辣椒:Can you do this? ? Lalalalalalalalalalala ?
朝天椒: Hey, knock it off.
墨西哥辣椒:? Tralalalalalalalala ?
朝天椒: Knock it off!
(Jalapeño laughs and habanero groans)
墨西哥辣椒:Hey, Habanero.
朝天椒: What?
墨西哥辣椒:Habanero, hey!
朝天椒: What?!?
墨西哥辣椒:Knife. (Habanero gets cut in half and Jalapeño screams. Flashback ends)
墨西哥辣椒:Ah, was I ever so young?
桃子: Aww, he's so deep.
煩人的橙子: Hey! Hey, Gordo. Do you want to hear me sing?
墨西哥辣椒:Yes, very much.
Orange starts singing randomly and making tongue noises)
墨西哥辣椒:Hmm...
煩人的橙子: It's a show stopper.
梨子: Seriously dude, I'm not with him.
墨西哥辣椒:Orange, you have no talent.
煩人的橙子: Geez, that's not smooth.
墨西哥辣椒:But... you possess something more precious. You, my friend, are full of... pasión.
煩人的橙子: No, I'm not. That's just citrus.
墨西哥辣椒:No. It is true.
梨子: No, really, it's just citrus.
墨西哥辣椒:Talent is a cheap call but for a man that wears too much plaid.
煩人的橙子: Hmm, I am pretty gassy.
墨西哥辣椒:Do you think without passion, I could do this? ? Tra-la-la-laaa ?
(Green Apple weeps)
墨西哥辣椒:? Traaa-la-la-laa ?
(Fruit basket fruits are screaming/catcalling)
木瓜: He's so beautiful!
墨西哥辣椒:No, no, thank you. Thank you! Do you have any requests?
梨子: Oh, hey, do you know any show tunes?
桃子: Free Bird! Do Free Bird!
煩人的橙子: Ooh-ooh! Knife! Knife!
墨西哥辣椒:Knife? I don't know that one.
煩人的橙子: No! Knife!
(''Knife cuts Jalapeño's top off)
墨西哥辣椒:Ouch!
煩人的橙子: Whoa!
(Fruit basket fruits scream, this time in horror)
煩人的橙子: Chili Gordo!
墨西哥辣椒:Amigo, you have cut me deeper than any woman I have ever met.
煩人的橙子: Actually, his name is Knife.
墨西哥辣椒:Yes, and someday... he will come to us all.
煩人的橙子: Geez, that's kinda dark.
墨西哥辣椒:And yet, there is still light.
(Papaya weeps)
墨西哥辣椒:The burning light of passion; it is now in your hands.
煩人的橙子: But I don't have hands. I'm an orange.
墨西哥辣椒:Nor do I. But yet, I'm still...
煩人的橙子: Handsome?
墨西哥辣椒:(chuckles) Yes, my friend.(Knife cuts him) I knew you wouldn't let me down. (Knife cuts him again) Ouch.
煩人的橙子: Thanks, Jalapeño.
墨西哥辣椒:Keep the passion burning, Orange. Keep it burning.