從你們所坐的地方到你們要去的地方 是沒(méi)有直路的
Don't try to draw that line. You will not just get itwrong
不要嘗試畫(huà)這樣的直線 這不僅會(huì)出錯(cuò)
You'll miss big opportunities and I mean big, like theInternet
還會(huì)錯(cuò)失大機(jī)遇 我說(shuō)的是大機(jī)遇 例如像互聯(lián)網(wǎng)這樣
Careers are not ladders. Those days are long gone
職業(yè)并不是梯子 那種時(shí)代已經(jīng)一去不返了
but jungle gyms
職業(yè)更像是立體方格鐵架
Don't just move up and down. Don't just look up
不要只上下移動(dòng) 不要只往上看
Look backwards, sideways, around corners
還要往回看 往旁邊看 看轉(zhuǎn)角周圍
Your career and your life will have starts and stops and zigs and zags
你的職業(yè)和生活會(huì)有始終 會(huì)有曲折
Don't stress out about the white space, the path you can try
不要對(duì)未來(lái)的道路太過(guò)憂慮
because there in lives both the surprises and the opportunities
因?yàn)樯钪谐錆M了驚喜和機(jī)遇
As you open yourself up to possibility
你需要對(duì)各種可能性持開(kāi)放態(tài)度
the most important thing I can tell you today
今天我要講的最重要的一點(diǎn)就是
is to open yourself up to honesty
對(duì)誠(chéng)實(shí)保持開(kāi)放態(tài)度
to telling the truth to each other
相互之間說(shuō)老實(shí)話
to being honest with yourselves
對(duì)自己誠(chéng)實(shí)
and to being honest about the world we live in
也對(duì)我們所生活的世界保持誠(chéng)實(shí)
If you watched children, you will immediately notice how honest they are
看看小孩 你馬上就能看到他們有多誠(chéng)實(shí)
My friend Betsy was pregnant and her son
我朋友貝琪懷孕后
for the second child, son Sam was 5
她五歲的兒子山姆
he wanted to know where the baby was in her body
想知道寶寶在她身體里的什么地方
So yes Mommy, are the babies arms in your arms?
他問(wèn) 媽咪 寶寶的胳膊在你的胳膊里嗎
And she said, no no Sam, baby's in my tummy
她回答說(shuō) 不不 山姆 寶寶在我肚子里
whole baby
整個(gè)寶寶
Mom, are the baby's legs in your legs?
媽 寶寶的腿在你腿里嗎
No, Sam, whole baby's in my tummy
不 山姆 整個(gè)寶寶都在我肚子里
Then Mommy, what's growing in your butt?
那媽咪 你屁股里長(zhǎng)的是什么
As adults
作為成年人
we are almost never dishonest
我們幾乎一直很誠(chéng)實(shí)
and that can be a very good thing
這當(dāng)然是很好的事情
When I was pregnant with our first child
我在懷第一個(gè)孩子時(shí)
I asked my husband Dave if my butt was getting big
我問(wèn)丈夫戴夫 我屁股有沒(méi)有變大
At first, he didn't answer but I pressed
最初他沒(méi)有回答 但我給他施壓
So he said, yeah, a little
他只好說(shuō) 有一點(diǎn)吧
For years my sister-in-law said about him what people
我小姑子經(jīng)常說(shuō)他的一句話
will now say about you for the rest of your life when you do something done
也是你們以后在生活中經(jīng)常會(huì)聽(tīng)到有人說(shuō)到的
and that guy went to Harvard
這伙計(jì)竟然是哈佛出來(lái)的
Hearing the truth at different times along the way would have helped me
在人生旅途中聽(tīng)到一些真相本該對(duì)我有所幫助
I would not have admitted it easily when I sat where you sit
我在你們這個(gè)年齡時(shí) 還沒(méi)有領(lǐng)會(huì)到這一點(diǎn)
But when I graduated, I was much more worried about my love life than my career
在我畢業(yè)的時(shí)候 我對(duì)愛(ài)情生活比對(duì)事業(yè)更加擔(dān)心
I thought I only had a few years very limited time to find one of the good guys
我認(rèn)為自己沒(méi)有什么時(shí)間了 必須盡快找個(gè)好男人嫁了
before he was to, or before they were all taken
避免所有好男人都被別人找去了
or I got too old
或是我變得太老
So I moved to DC, and met with guy
我于是搬到哥倫比亞特區(qū)
and I got married at the nearly decrepit age of 24
在"老邁"的24歲找個(gè)男人嫁了
I married a wonderful man but I had no business making that kind of commitment
那個(gè)男人很不錯(cuò) 但我倆似乎總是相處不好
I didn't know who I was or who I wanted to be
我變得不知道自己是誰(shuí) 對(duì)未來(lái)失去了方向
My marriage fell apart within a year
一年不到 我的婚姻就以失敗告終了
something that was really embarrassing and painful at the time
當(dāng)時(shí)我非常難堪 非常痛苦
and it did not help that so many friends came up to me and said
很多朋友來(lái)安慰我 但卻毫無(wú)幫助 他們說(shuō)
I never knew that, never thought that was going to work or
我就知道你們倆結(jié)婚是行不通的
I knew you weren't right for each other
我就知道你們根本不合適
No one had managed to say anything like that to me
沒(méi)人在我婚姻之前跟我說(shuō)這些
before I marched down an aisle when it would have been far more useful
事前告訴我這些肯定會(huì)更有用
And as I lived through these painful months of separation and divorce
我熬過(guò)了離婚后的這些痛苦時(shí)光
boy, did I wish they had?
我多希望他們?cè)瓉?lái)有給過(guò)我建議
And boy, did I wish I had asked them?
我多希望我曾經(jīng)問(wèn)過(guò)他們
At the same time in my professional life, someone did speak up
而在我的職業(yè)生涯中 確實(shí)有人無(wú)保留地說(shuō)了出來(lái)
My first boss out of college was Lant Pritchett
本科后我的第一任老板是蘭特o普里切特
an economist who teaches at the Kennedy School who is here with us today
肯尼迪學(xué)院授課的一位經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)家 他今天也在現(xiàn)場(chǎng)
After I deferred to law school for the second time
我第二次考慮法學(xué)院時(shí)
Lant sat me down and said
蘭特跟我說(shuō)
I don't think you should go to law school at all
我不認(rèn)為你應(yīng)該去法學(xué)院
I don't think you want to go to law school
我也不認(rèn)為你想去法學(xué)院
I think you think you should because you told your parents you would many years ago
你認(rèn)為你應(yīng)當(dāng)去 大概只是因?yàn)槟愀改赶胍闳?/p>
He noted that he had never once heard me talk about the law with any interest
他注意到 我在談話中從未表現(xiàn)出對(duì)法律的任何興趣
I know how hard it can be to be honest with each other
我知道 相互之間坦誠(chéng)相見(jiàn)是多么困難的事情
even your closest friends, even when they're about to make serious mistakes
哪怕是最親密的朋友 哪怕是在他們可能犯嚴(yán)重錯(cuò)誤時(shí)
but I bet sitting here today, you know your closest friends' strength, weaknesses
不過(guò)我敢打賭 在座的各位知道自己親密朋友的強(qiáng)項(xiàng)和弱項(xiàng)
what cliff they might drive off
知道他們可能會(huì)掉落什么懸崖
and I bet for the most part you've never told them
我也敢打賭 大部分時(shí)候 你們并沒(méi)有告訴他們
and they've never asked
他們也從沒(méi)有問(wèn)過(guò)
Ask them
問(wèn)這些問(wèn)題
Ask them for the truth because it will help you
真相會(huì)越問(wèn)越明
and when they answer honestly
朋友們誠(chéng)實(shí)回答時(shí)
you know that that's what makes them real friends
你就知道他們是你真正的朋友了
Asking for feedback is a really important habit to get into
養(yǎng)成尋求反饋的習(xí)慣是非常重要的
as you leave the structure of the school calendar and exams and grades behind
特別是在離開(kāi)學(xué)校系統(tǒng) 沒(méi)了考試和分?jǐn)?shù)之后
On many jobs if you want to know how you're doing
很多工作中 如果你想知道自己干得怎樣
if you're going to have to ask and
你就需要去詢問(wèn)
then you're gonna have to listen without getting defensive
而且不要因?yàn)槁?tīng)到不喜歡聽(tīng)的而覺(jué)得受到冒犯
Take it from me, listening to criticism is never fun
毫無(wú)疑問(wèn) 聽(tīng)人批評(píng)絕對(duì)不會(huì)讓人高興