艾倫脫口秀196:和一些男生約會

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So that's what happened. You Google me. It's me.And I heard... I look like her, actually.

這真發(fā)生了 你用谷歌就能搜到 然后我聽說... 實際上我長得像她

I look like her as if she was stun by a million bees.It's true!

像她被一百萬只蜜蜂叮了一樣 這是真的

I look like her as if she were becoming the hulk. That's...

她變成綠巨人 我才能像她

And you know, she wanted to be friends, and I'm like "I can't".

她想和我做朋友 我覺得不行啊

I can't. She... We don't have... We are not the same thing.

怎么可以呢 我們都沒有... 我們都不是一個世界的人

Like, she was telling me hot people problems,

她和我說靚男靚女的煩惱

you know. She's like "He won't stop calling" and I'm like "Uh-hum, I hate that".

她說"他老是給我打電話" 我覺得 真討厭

Do we eat popcorn like that though?Are you a popcorn lover? Yeah, I do.

大家是那么吃爆米花吧 你喜歡吃爆米花嗎 當然 挺喜歡的

And I eat it exactly like that. Right?

我也那樣吃的 是嗎

Yeah. That's why I am so annoyed. So, I'm single again.

沒錯 這就是為什么很生氣 我又單身了

So when I have to start dating some guy,

我得和一些男生約會

and we go to movies and he'll be like "Do you wanna get popcorn?" I have to be like,

我們去看電影的時候 他就會問 "想來點爆米花嗎" 我不得不說

"Oh, I haven't even thought about it."

"我都沒想到呢"

He's like "What size?" And I'm like,Humm, small, look at me.And...Right, like small popcorn...

他問 你想吃多少 然后我就回答 小杯吧 看人家的小腰身 然后 好吧 那小杯的爆米花

That's like taking one add veal, like "Get out of here".

就那么一點點 滾遠點好嗎

I wanna a truck.And I wanna dump my head in it.

我想要一卡車爆米花 然后把頭埋進去

And, and then, you know,I'll be pretending not to think about the popcorn. - Hilarious.

然后 我假裝不想爆米花的事 真好笑

So when you say you are gonna start dating again,that means you're... Are you dating at all?

你說你會再次約會 所以說 你在約會嗎

No, I am...Well, I know everyone here is like "How do we date you?"

不 我...我知道這所有人都在想 "我們怎么才能和你約會"

Thank you. Um,you can't.And not just because I'm totally out of woods with this UTI I have right now.

謝謝你們 你們并不可以 不只因為我泌尿道感染 現在還沒好

But also...But also... Thank you.Oh, my god.

而且 而且 謝謝你們 天哪

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