英語小達(dá)人每天10分鐘 428 Correct Male Responses

[00:00.18]Correct Male Responses 男人正確的回答 [00:02.15]What makes these questions so bad is that 這些問題之所以說它們不好是因?yàn)? [00:06.57]every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument and/or divorce if the man does not answer properly. 每一個(gè)問題如果男人回答得不正確都會(huì)導(dǎo)致一場(chǎng)吵架甚至是離婚。 [00:16.08]Question 1: "Do you love me?" 問題一：“你愛我嗎？” [00:20.35]The correct answer to the question is, "Yes." 正確的回答是：“愛?！? [00:24.09]or if you want to be more elaborate, you may answer, "Yes, dear." 如果你還想多說些，也可以說：“是的，親愛的，我愛你?！? [00:30.07]Wrong answers include: 錯(cuò)誤的回答包括以下幾種： [00:32.44]A. I suppose so. A. 我想是的。 [00:36.08]B. Would it make you feel better if I said yes? B. 我說是你是不是會(huì)感覺好些？ [00:38.44]C. That depends on what you mean by "love." C. 那得看你說的“愛”是什么意思。 [00:43.03]D. Does it matter? D. 這很重要嗎？ [00:44.18]E. Who, me? E. 誰，問我嗎？ [00:54.15]Question 2: "Do I look fat?" 問題二：“我看起來胖嗎？” [00:56.34]The correct male response to this question is to confidentl and emphatically state, "No, of course not!" 正確的回答方式是確定無疑地說：“不，你一點(diǎn)兒也不胖！” [01:04.54]and then quickly leave the room. 然后迅速離開房間。 [01:07.51]Incorrect answers include: 錯(cuò)誤的回答包括以下幾種： [01:10.55]A. I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin. A. 你這不叫胖，可也確實(shí)不太瘦。 [01:15.34]B. Compared to what? B. 和誰比？ [01:22.23]C. A little extra weight looks good on you. C. 你胖點(diǎn)兒好看。 [01:25.41]D. I've seen fatter. D. 我看是胖了些。 [01:29.23]E. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about your insurance policy. E. 你再說一遍好嗎？我剛剛在想你的保險(xiǎn)條款。 [01:36.58]Question 3: "Do you think she's prettier than me?" 問題三：“你覺得她長得比我好看嗎？” [01:42.16]The "she" in the question could be an ex-girlfriend, a passer-by you were staring at or an actress in a movie you just saw. 這個(gè)問題中的“她”可能是你的前任女友或是你盯著看的一個(gè)過路人或是你們正在看的電影里的女演員。 [01:51.17]In any case, the correct response is, "No, you are much prettier." or simply "Of course not!" 不管是誰，正確的回答是：“不，你要漂亮得多?！被蛘摺爱?dāng)然沒你漂亮！” [02:01.55]Wrong answers include: 錯(cuò)誤的回答包括以下幾種： [02:04.47]A. Not prettier, just pretty in a different way. A. 并不比你漂亮，只是不同種類的漂亮。 [02:10.24]B. Not prettier, but definitely thinner. B. 不比你漂亮，只是更苗條些。 [02:13.59]C. Yes, but I bet you have a better personality. C. 是的，但是我相信你的性格比她好。 [02:18.33]D. Not as pretty as you when you were her age. D. 你在她這個(gè)年齡時(shí)你一定比她漂亮。 [02:25.49]Question 4: "What would you do if I died?" 問題四：“我死了以后你會(huì)怎么辦？” [02:30.48]A definite no-win question. 這絕對(duì)是個(gè)沒法回答的問題。 [02:34.17]No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of follow-up questions. 不管你怎么回答，都要準(zhǔn)備好回答至少一小時(shí)的后續(xù)問題。 [02:40.20]This might be the stupidest question of the lot, 這是最愚蠢的問題， [02:44.23]as is illustrated by the following stupid exchange: 正如下面的對(duì)話展現(xiàn)的： [02:47.58]Woman: Dear, what would you do if I died? 女人：親愛的，我死了以后你會(huì)怎么辦？ [02:51.33]Man: Why, dear, I would be extremely upset. Why do you ask such a question? 男人：親愛的，我會(huì)非常傷心。你怎么會(huì)問這樣的問題？ [02:57.59]Woman: Would you get married again? 女人：你會(huì)再結(jié)婚嗎？ [03:00.33]Man: No, of course not, dear. 男人：當(dāng)然不會(huì)，親愛的。 [03:04.39]Woman: Don't you like being married? 女人：你不喜歡婚姻嗎？ [03:07.08]Man: Of course I do, dear. 男人：當(dāng)然不是，親愛的。 [03:10.10]Woman: Then why wouldn't you remarry? 女人：那你為什么不想再結(jié)婚？ [03:12.47]Man: Alright, I'd remarry. 男人：好吧，我會(huì)再婚。 [03:15.11]Woman: You would? (looking vaguely hurt) 女人：你會(huì)？（看上去有些傷心） [03:19.02]Man: Yes. 男人：是的。 [03:20.35]Woman: Would you sleep with her in our bed? 女人：你會(huì)和她睡在我們的床上嗎？ [03:23.40]Man: Well yes, I suppose I would. Where else would we sleep? 男人：是的，我想會(huì)的，不然我們睡哪兒？ [03:28.41]Woman: And would you take down the pictures of me and replace them with pictures of her? (icily) 女人：那么你會(huì)把我的照片都取下來換成她的嗎？（冷冷地） [03:34.36]Man: Yes. I think that would be the correct thing to do. 男人：是的，我想應(yīng)該這樣吧。 [03:38.18]Woman: Is that so? (leaping to her feet) And I suppose you'd let her play with my golf clubs, too. 女人：是嗎？（在跳腳兒了）我想你還會(huì)讓她用我的高爾夫球桿吧。 [03:45.49]Man: Of course not, dear. She's left-handed... 男人：當(dāng)然不，親愛的，她是左撇子…… [03:50.52]Question 5: What are you thinking about? 問題五：“你在想什么？” [03:55.01]The proper answer to this, of course, is: 正確的回答當(dāng)然是： [03:58.17]"I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, “親愛的，如果我顯得心事重重，我只是在想你是一個(gè)熱情、完美、細(xì)致而聰明的女人， [04:07.07]and how lucky I am to have met you." 我能和你在一起實(shí)在是很幸運(yùn)。” [04:11.25]Wrong answers include: 錯(cuò)誤的回答包括以下幾種： [04:12.28]A. Baseball. A. 棒球。 [04:12.41]B. Football. B. 足球。 [04:12.59]C. How fat you are. C. 你太胖了。 [04:21.31]D. How much prettier she is than you. D. 她比你漂亮多少。 [04:25.43]E. How I would spend the insurance moeny if you died. E. 你死了以后我怎么花那筆保險(xiǎn)費(fèi)。

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