牛津書蟲系列 簡(jiǎn)愛 chapter 25

25 重新找到羅切斯特先生

Ferndean Manor was a large old house in the middle of a wood. It looked dark and lonely， surrounded by trees.As I approached，the narrow front door opened，and out came a figure I could not fail to recognize， Edward Rochester. I held my breath as I watched，feeling a mixture of happiness and sadness. He looked as strong as before and his hair was still black， but in his face I saw a bitter， desperate look，that I had never seen there before.He walked slowly and hesitatingly along the path.Although he kept looking up eagerly at the sky，it was obvious that he could see nothing.After a while he stopped， and stood quietly there， the rain falling fast on his bent， uncovered head.Finally he found his way painfully back to the house， and closed the door.

楓丹莊園是一幢建在樹林中間的高大的舊房子，看上去灰暗、孤單，周圍綠樹環(huán)繞。當(dāng)我走近時(shí)，狹窄的前門打開了，里面走出的正是我永遠(yuǎn)都能認(rèn)出的愛德華·羅切斯特。我屏住呼吸注視著，心中悲喜交加。他看上去還和過去一樣強(qiáng)壯，頭發(fā)依然烏黑，但在他的臉上，我看到的是從未見過的痛苦、絕望的表情。他慢慢地、躊躇地在路上走著。盡管他抬起頭來熱切地望著天空，但顯然他什么也看不見。過了一會(huì)兒，他停住腳步，靜靜地站著，雨水打在他低著的、光光的頭上。最后他艱難地找到了回家的路，關(guān)上了門。

When I knocked at the door， Mr Rochester’s old servant，John，opened it and recognized me. He and his wife Mary were the only servants their master had wanted to keep when he moved from Thornfield. Although they were surprised to see me，I had no difficulty in arranging to stay at Ferndean that night.

當(dāng)我敲門時(shí)，羅切斯特先生的老仆人約翰打開門，并認(rèn)出了我。主人從特恩費(fèi)得搬來時(shí)，他和妻子瑪麗是主人唯一想留下的仆人。盡管他們見到我很吃驚，我還是沒費(fèi)什么事就做好了當(dāng)晚住在楓丹的安排。

’But he may not want to see you，’warned Mary， as we sat together in the kitchen.’He refuses to see anybody except us.’She was lighting some candles.’He always wants candles in the sitting-room when it’s dark， even though he’s blind.’

我們一起坐在廚房里，瑪麗警告說：“他也許不愿見到你。除了我們以外，他拒絕見任何人。”她點(diǎn)上幾根蠟燭。“盡管他瞎了，卻總希望天黑時(shí)在客廳里點(diǎn)上蠟燭。”

’Give them to me，Mary，’I said.’I’ll take them to him.’

“把蠟燭給我，瑪麗。”我說。“我給他拿去。”

The blind man was sitting near the neglected fire in the dark room.’Put down the candles， Mary，’he sighed.

這個(gè)雙目失明的人坐在黑屋子里無人照管的爐火邊。“把蠟燭放下，瑪麗。”他嘆了口氣。

’Here they are， sir，’I said.

“先生，它們?cè)谶@里。”我說。

’That is Mary， isn’t it?’he asked， listening carefully.

“你是瑪麗，對(duì)嗎?”他說，并仔細(xì)聽著。

’Mary’s in the kitchen，’I answered.

“瑪麗在廚房里。”我答道。

’What sweet madness has seized me?’he cried suddenly.

“是什么甜蜜的瘋狂攫住了我?”他突然喊道。

’Where is the speaker?I can’t see， but I must feel，or my heart will stop， and my brain will burst!Let me touch you，or I can’t live!I held his wandering band with both of mine.’Is it Jane?This is her shape…’ He released his hand and seized my arm，shouldter，neck， waist and held me close to him.

“說話的人在哪兒?我看不到，但我必須感覺到，否則我的心就會(huì)停止跳動(dòng)，我的腦子就會(huì)迸裂!讓我摸摸你，否則我會(huì)活不下去!”我雙手握住他摸索著的手。“是簡(jiǎn)嗎?這是她的樣子……”他騰出手來，抓住我的胳膊、肩膀、脖子、腰肢，把我緊緊抱祝

’She is here，’I said，’and her heart too.I am Jane Eyre.I’ve found you and come back to you.’

“她在這里。”我說。“她的心也在這里，我是簡(jiǎn)·愛。我找到你了，回到你身邊來了。”

’My living darling!So you aren’t lying dead in a ditch somewhere!Is it a dream?I’ve dreamed so often of you，only to wake in the morning， abandoned， my life dark，my soul thirsty.’

“我的寶貝還活著!那么你沒有死在某處的陰溝里!這是不是夢(mèng)?我常常夢(mèng)見你，早上醒來卻已被拋棄，只剩下黑暗的生活和饑渴的靈魂。”

’I’m alive， and I’m not a dream，In fact，I’m an independent woman now I’ve inherited five thousand pounds from my uncle.’

“我活著，我不是夢(mèng)。實(shí)際上我現(xiàn)在是個(gè)獨(dú)立的女人了，我從舅舅那兒繼承了5 000英鎊。”

’Ah， that sounds real!I couldn’t dream that.But perhaps you have friends now， and don’t want to spend much time in a lonely house with a blind man like me.’

“啊，這聽起來倒是真的!我不會(huì)夢(mèng)到這個(gè)。但是也許你現(xiàn)在有了朋友，不再想到這幢孤零零的房子里，花許多時(shí)間陪伴一個(gè)像我這樣的瞎子了。”

’I can do what I like，and I intend to stay with you，unless you object.I’ll be your neighbour， your nurse， your housekeeper， your companion. You will never be sad or lonely as long as I live.’

“我想做什么，就能做什么。我想和你一起住，除非你反對(duì)。我要成為你的鄰居，你的護(hù)士，你的管家，你的伴侶。只要我活著，你就永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)悲傷或孤獨(dú)。”

He did not reply immediately， and I was a little embarrassed by his silence.I had assumed he would still want me to be his wife， and wondered why he did not ask me.

他沒有立刻回答，他的沉默使我感到有些尷尬。我本以為他仍然希望我成為他的妻子，卻納悶他為什么不向我提出來。

’Jane， he said sadly，’you cannot always be my nurse.It’s kind and generous of you， but you’re young， and one day you will want to marry.If I could only see，I’d try to make you love me again， but…’And he sighed deeply.

“簡(jiǎn)，”他悲哀地說。“你不能永遠(yuǎn)做我的護(hù)士。你很慷慨善良，但你還年輕，總有一天你會(huì)想結(jié)婚。如果我能夠看得見，我會(huì)努力讓你再愛上我，但是……”他深深地嘆了口氣。

I was very relieved to discover that was all he was worrying about，because I knew that his blindness made no difference at all to my love for him. However， I thought too much excitement was not good for him， so I talked of other things，and made him laugh a little.As we separated at bedtime，he asked me，’Just one thing， Jane. Were there only ladies in the house where you’ve been?’I laughed， and escaped upstairs，still laughing.’A good idea!’I thought.’A little jealousy will stop him feeling so sorry for himself!’

原來他擔(dān)心的就是這些，我感到輕松了許多，因?yàn)樗鹘z毫沒有影響到我對(duì)他的愛。但是，我覺得過于激動(dòng)對(duì)他沒好處，于是就開始扯些別的話題，逗他笑一點(diǎn)兒。我們分手去就寢時(shí)，他問我：“簡(jiǎn)，就一件事。你住的家里只有女士嗎?”我笑了，逃上樓去，仍止不住笑。“好主意。”我想。“小小的嫉妒會(huì)讓他減少對(duì)自己的傷心。”

Next day I took him outside for a long walk in the fresh air.I described the beauty of the fields and sky to him， as we sat close together in the shade of a tree.

第二天，我?guī)綉敉馍⒉?，呼吸些新鮮空氣。當(dāng)我們緊挨著坐在樹陰下時(shí)，我向他描述著田野和天空的美麗。

’Tell me， Jane， what happened to you when you so cruelly abandoned me?’he asked， holding me tightly in his arms.

“簡(jiǎn)，告訴我。你狠心拋下我后，又發(fā)生了什么事?”他緊緊摟著我問。

And so I told him my story. Naturally he was interested in St John Rivers，my cousin.

于是我向他講述了我的經(jīng)歷。他自然對(duì)我的表兄圣約翰很感興趣。

’This St John，do you like him?’

“這個(gè)圣約翰，你喜歡他嗎?”

’He’s a very good man.I couldn’t help liking him.’

“他是個(gè)很好的人，我不能不喜歡他。”

’He’s perhaps a man of fifty or so?’

“他也許五十多歲?”

’St John is only twenty-nine，sir.’

“不，先生，圣約翰只有29歲。”

’Rather stupid，I think you said?Not at all intelligent?’

“我想你說過他很傻?一點(diǎn)兒也不聰明?”

’He has an excellent brain，sir.’

“先生，他有著出色的頭腦。”

’Did you say he was rather plain， ugly，in fact?’

“你是不是說過他實(shí)際上很平凡、很丑?”

’St John is a handsome man，tall and fair， with blue eyes.’

“圣約翰是個(gè)美男子，個(gè)子高高的，金發(fā)碧眼。”

Mr Rochester frowned， and swore loudly.

羅切斯特先生皺起眉頭，大聲詛咒著。

’In fact， sir，’I continued，’he asked me to marry him.’

“先生，”我接著說，“實(shí)際上他要我嫁給他。”

’Well，Jane， leave me and go.Oh，until now I with thought you would never love another man! But go and marry Rivers!’

“好了，簡(jiǎn)，離開我走吧!啊，直到此刻我一直以為你不會(huì)再愛上別人!但是走吧，去和李維斯結(jié)婚!”

’I can never marry him，sir He doesn’t love me， and I don’t love him. He’s good and great， but as cold as ice. You needn’t be jealous， sir All my heart is yours.’

“先生，我永遠(yuǎn)不能和他結(jié)婚。他不愛我，我也不愛他。他很好、很偉大，但卻冷若冰霜。你不必嫉妒，我整個(gè)的心都是你的。”

He kisseed me.’I’m no better than the great tree hit by lightning at Thornfierld，’he said.’I can’t expect to have a fresh young plant like you by my side，all my life.’

他吻吻我。“我跟特恩費(fèi)得被雷擊倒的大樹沒什么兩樣。”他說，“我不能指望像你這樣一棵稚嫩的小樹一輩子陪伴在我身邊。”

’You are still strong， sir， and young plants need the strength and safety of a tree to support them.’ ’Jane， will you marry me， a poor blind man with one hand，twenty years older than you?’

“先生，你仍然強(qiáng)壯。小樹需要大樹的力量和庇護(hù)來支撐自己。”“簡(jiǎn)，你愿嫁給我，一個(gè)比你年長(zhǎng)20歲、只有一只手的、可憐的盲人嗎?”

’Yes， sir.’

“是的，先生。”

’My darling!We’ll be married in three days’time，Jane.Thank God!You know I never thought much of religion?Well，lately I’ve begun to understand that God has been punishing me for my pride and my past wickedness.Last Monday night，in a mood of deep depression，I was sitting by an open window， praying for a little peace and happiness in my dark life.In my heart and soul I wanted you.I cried out “Jane!”three times.’

“我親愛的!簡(jiǎn)，我們?nèi)靸?nèi)就結(jié)婚。感謝上帝!你知道我從來不那么看重宗教吧?不過最近我認(rèn)為上帝在為我的傲慢和邪惡的過去懲罰我。上星期一晚上，我情緒很壞，坐在敞開的窗邊，祈求我黑暗的生活中出現(xiàn)一點(diǎn)兒安寧和幸福。在我的內(nèi)心和靈魂深處，我想得到你。我喊了三聲’簡(jiǎn)!’”

’Last Monday night，about midnight?’I asked，wondering.

“上星期一晚上，大約午夜時(shí)?”我奇怪地問。

’Yes， but that doesn’t matter.This is what’s really strange.I heard a voice calling “I’m coming，wait for me!”and“Where are you?”And then I heard an echo sent back by hills， but there’s no echo here，in the middle of the wood.Jane， you must have been asleep. Your spirit and mine must have met to comfort each other! It was your voice I heard!’

“是的，不過這還無關(guān)緊要。真正奇怪的是這個(gè)：我聽到一個(gè)聲音回答著：’我來了，等等我!’還說：’你在哪兒?’然后我聽到山丘傳來的回聲，可我們這里沒有山丘，是在樹林當(dāng)中。簡(jiǎn)，你當(dāng)時(shí)一定睡了。你我的魂靈一定見了面，互相安慰!我聽到的正是你的聲音。”

I did not tell him I had actually spoken those words many miles away，at that exact moment on that night， because I could hardly understand how it happened myself.

我自己也搞不清這一切是如何發(fā)生的，便沒有告訴他就在那天夜里的那個(gè)時(shí)刻，我在很遠(yuǎn)的地方說出的正是他聽到的話。

’I thank God!’said Edward Rochester，’and ask Him to help me live a better life in future!’Together we returned slowly to Ferndean Manor， Edward leaning on my shoulder.

“我感謝上帝!”愛德華·羅切斯特說，“我請(qǐng)求他幫助我在未來過上更好的生活。”愛德華扶著我的肩膀，我們一起慢慢回到楓丹莊園。

We had a quiet wedding.I wrote to tell the Rivers the news.Diana and Mary wrote back with delighted congratulations，but St John did not reply.

我們舉行了簡(jiǎn)單的婚禮。我寫信告訴了李維斯一家，戴安娜和瑪麗回信熱情祝賀我們，但圣約翰沒有回復(fù)。

Now I have been married for ten years.I know what it is like to love and be loved， No woman has ever been closer to her husband than I am to Edward.I am my husband’s life，and he is mine. We are always together，and have never had enough of each other’s company. After two years his sight began to return in one eye.Now he can see a little， and when our first child was born and put into his arms， he was able to see that the boy had inherited his fine large black eyes.

現(xiàn)在我已結(jié)婚十年。我懂得什么是愛和被愛。沒有任何女人與丈夫，能像我和愛德華那樣親密。我是我丈夫的生命，而他也是我的。我們總是在一起，享受不夠彼此的陪伴。兩年后，他的一只眼睛開始恢復(fù)視力?，F(xiàn)在他已經(jīng)能看到一點(diǎn)兒。我們的第一個(gè)孩子出世、放到他懷里時(shí)，他可以看出孩子繼承了他那雙又大又黑的漂亮眼睛。

Mrs Fairfax is retired，and Adele has grown into a charming young woman.Diana and Mary are both married，and we visit them once， a year.St John achieved his ambition by going to India as planned，and is still there.He writes to me regularly.He is unmarried and will never marry now.He knows that the end of his life is near， but he has no fear of death，and looks forward to gaining his place in heaven.

費(fèi)爾法斯太太退休了，阿黛拉已出落成一個(gè)迷人的姑娘。戴安娜和瑪麗都結(jié)了婚，我們每年都去看她們一次。圣約翰實(shí)現(xiàn)了他的遠(yuǎn)大志向，如期去了印度，至今還在那里。他經(jīng)常給我寫信，沒有結(jié)婚，也不打算結(jié)婚了。他知道自己的生命就要完結(jié)，但是他對(duì)死亡毫不懼怕，盼著在天堂中獲得他的一席之地。