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大學英語綜合教程學生用書 Getting to the Airport

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[00:00.00] Getting to the Airport

[00:04.49]After years of study,

[00:08.54]I have determined there are only two types of people in this world:

[00:15.39]those who get to the airport early

[00:19.64]and those who stroll in as the plane is about to take off.

[00:25.91]If there were any justice in this world,

[00:31.16]the early-airport people would be rewarded for doing the right thing.

[00:37.41]And the late-airport people would be punished.

[00:42.87]But there is no justice.

[00:47.12]The early-airport people get ulcers,

[00:51.96]heart attacks and bite their fingernails to the bone.

[00:57.60]The late-airport people barely are aware they are flying.

[01:04.05]I once found myself in an airport bar

[01:09.69]with a man on the same flight as me.

[01:14.76]Our flight had been called three times,

[01:19.62]but he insisted we stay for another round.

[01:25.05]"If we miss this one,

[01:28.92]there's always another plane in an hour,"he said.

[01:33.78]signalling for two more drinks.

[01:38.32]"To Dhahran,Saudi Arabia?"I said.

[01:43.78]"There isn't another flight for a week."

[01:48.33]"I have a theory,"he said."If you miss your flight,

[01:53.68]it's because God didn't want you to go."

[01:58.62]This is clearly a guy who is never going go get an ulcer.

[02:04.66]Early-airport people suffer another abuse.

[02:10.40]They are called exactly what they are:wimps.

[02:16.05]I know.I was an early-airport person for years.

[02:22.60]My luggage will get on the plane first,I told myself.

[02:28.24]Indeed it wil.Which makes it the last luggage

[02:34.31]they take off the plane when you land.

[02:39.06]You know who really gets his luggage first?

[02:44.00]The late-airport person,who strolls into the airport three minutes

[02:50.74]before the plane takes off.

[02:54.89]The pilot is practically in the air

[02:59.33]when these people are still paying off the taxi.

[03:04.66]Then they make a big fuss at the gate in order to get their luggage on board.

[03:11.40]And when we findlly take off,all us wimps know

[03:17.15]that not only will that late luggage be the first off the plane,

[03:22.89]but it is probably sitting on top of our luggage,crushing our shirts.

[03:29.84]But if I get three real,real early,I told my old wimpy self,

[03:36.29]I will get the best seat.

[03:40.53]Well,just try to show up early and get the seat you want.

[03:46.46]Go ahead and try.

[03:50.58]No matter how early I showed up,

[03:55.23]I was always told that someone had called two

[04:00.38]or three years ahead of me and asked for that seat.

[04:06.02]I figured it was a conspiracy.

[04:10.67]I figured there was someone in America who called

[04:16.03]every airline every day and said:

[04:20.49]"Is that wimp Simon flying somewhere today?

[04:25.93]If he is,give me his seat"

[04:30.86]The ultimate embarrassment

[04:35.23]of the early-airport person happened to me to few years ago

[04:41.36]when I was flying from La Guardia to O'Hare.

[04:46.54]When I got to the ticket counter,

[04:50.87]the person there said:"Sir,you have a seat on the 9:15 a.m.

[04:57.33]flight to Chicago,is that right?"\"Yes,"I said.

[05:03.78]"Well,it's only 7a.m..,and the 7:05 a.m.flight has not left yet.

[05:11.43]If you hurry,you can make it."Do you think so?

[05:18.30]I was too embarrassed to say that I arrived at airports early

[05:24.65]so I wouldn't have to hurry.

[05:28.49]Instead,I ran down the corridor to the plane.

[05:34.13]I climbed on board,out of breath,red-faced,

[05:39.77]and stumbled over a woman's legs to get to the last unoccupied seat.

[05:46.93]The woman I stepped over was no wimp.She had the guts to complain.

[05:54.80]"You should get to the airport earlier!"she snapped at me.

[06:00.44]"I was here early,"I said weakly."But then somehow I wasn't anymore."

[06:07.20]After a lifetime of arguing over whether

[06:12.64]I really have to pack 24 hours in advance

[06:18.57]and set teh alarm clock four hours ahead,

[06:23.29]I have learned one other fact.

[06:27.34]about early airport people and later airport people,

[06:32.88]They always marry each other.

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