大學(xué)英語(yǔ)綜合教程學(xué)生用書 The First Four Minutes

[00:00.00] The First Four Minutes [00:04.10]When do people decide whether or not they want to become friends? [00:10.74]During their first four minutes together, [00:15.99]according to a book by Dr.Leonard Zunin.In his book,Contact. [00:23.54]The First Four Minutes,he offers this advice [00:29.39]to anyone interested in starting new friendships: [00:35.34]"Every time you meet someone in a social situation, [00:41.30]give him your undivided attention for four minutes. [00:47.33]A lot of people's whole lives would change if they did just that." [00:54.49]You may have noticed that the average person does not give [01:00.76]his undivided attention to someone he has just met. [01:06.80]He keeps looking over the other person's shoulder, [01:11.65]as if hoping to find someone more interesting [01:17.22]in another part of the room. [01:21.06]If anyone has ever done this to you, [01:25.63]you probaby did not like him very much. [01:30.28]When we are introduced to new people,the author sugests, [01:36.13]we should try to appear friendly and self-confident. [01:41.67]In general,he says,"People like people who like themselves." [01:48.20]On the other hand,we should not make the other person [01:53.87]think we are too sure of ourselves. [01:58.62]It is important to appear interested and sympathetic, [02:04.26]realizing that the other person has his own needs,fears,and hopes. [02:11.53]Hearing such advice,one might say, [02:15.97]"But I'm not a friendly,self-confident person. [02:20.93]That's not my nature.It would be dishonest for me to act that way." [02:28.19]In reply,Dr.Zunin would claim that a little prattice [02:34.04]can help us feel comfortable about changing our social habits. [02:40.29]We can become accustomed to any changes we choose to make [02:46.03]in our personality. [02:49.38]"It's like getting used to a new car. [02:53.71]It may be unfamiliar at first, [02:57.87]but it goes much better than the old one." [03:02.10]But isn't it dishonest to give the appearance of friendly self-confidence [03:09.36]when we don't actually feel that way? [03:13.62]Perhaps,but according to Dr.Zunin, [03:18.37]"total honesty"is not always good for social relationships. [03:25.43]especially during the first few minutes of contact. [03:30.89]There is a time for everything,and a certain a mount [03:37.03]of playacting may be best [03:41.00]for the first minutes of contact with a stanger. [03:45.93]That is not the time to complain about one's health [03:51.78]or to mention faults one finds in other people. [03:57.04]It is not the time to tell whole truth [04:02.08]about one's opinions and impressions. [04:07.12]Much of what has been said about strangers [04:12.66]also applies to relationships with family members and friends. [04:20.02]For a husband and wife or a parent and child, [04:25.35]problems often arise during their first four minutes together [04:31.80]after and they have been apart. [04:36.45]Dr.Zunin suggests that these first few minutes [04:42.49]together be treated with care. [04:46.54]If there are unpleasant matters to be discussed, [04:52.18]the should be dealt with later. [04:55.94]The author declares that interpersonal relations [05:01.79]should be taught as a required coures in every school, [05:07.64]along with reading,writing,and mathematics. [05:13.21]In his opinion,success in life depends mainly [05:19.56]on how we get along with other people. [05:24.10]That is at least as important as how much we know.

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