職場高手永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)自曝的12件事

You can’t build a strong professional network if you don’t open up to your colleagues; but doing so is tricky, because revealing the wrong things can have a devastating effect on your career.

如果你不和同事坦誠相待，就不可能有穩(wěn)固的職業(yè)關(guān)系網(wǎng)。但是這個(gè)分寸其實(shí)并不好把握，因?yàn)楸砺恫划?dāng)?shù)脑挄?huì)對你的職業(yè)造成嚴(yán)重后果。

Sharing the right aspects of yourself in the right ways is an art form. Disclosures that feel like relationship builders in the moment can wind up as obvious no-nos with hindsight.

該讓別人看到自己哪些方面?怎么分享這類才是正確的方式?這堪稱一門藝術(shù)。有些事情在當(dāng)時(shí)說出來可能覺得有助于增進(jìn)同事友誼，然而事后來看可能是顯而易見的禁忌。

The trick is to catch yourself before you cross that line, because once you share something, there is no going back.

秘訣就是在你“過界”之前管好嘴巴，因?yàn)?ldquo;說出去的話潑出去的水”，一旦說出就再也收不回了。

TalentSmart has tested more than a million people and found that the upper echelons of top performance are filled with people who are high in emotional intelligence (90% of top performers, to be exact). Emotionally intelligent people are adept at reading others, and this shows them what they should and shouldn’t reveal about themselves at work.

TalentSmart已經(jīng)對一百萬人進(jìn)行了測試，結(jié)果發(fā)現(xiàn)表現(xiàn)優(yōu)秀的上流人士都是高情商的人(確切地說是90%的表現(xiàn)優(yōu)秀者情商很高)。高情商者很善于察言觀色，因此他們知道在工作時(shí)該說什么，不該說什么。

1. That They Hate Their Job

1. 討厭自己的工作

The last thing anyone wants to hear at work is someone complaining about how much they hate their job. Doing so labels you as a negative person, who is not a team player. This brings down the morale of the group. Bosses are quick to catch on to naysayers who drag down morale, and they know that there are always enthusiastic replacements waiting just around the corner.

人們最不想聽到的就是工作時(shí)有人在抱怨自己有多討厭自己的工作。這么做你會(huì)被貼上“消極者”的標(biāo)簽，也就是說你不適合團(tuán)隊(duì)合作。這會(huì)降低整個(gè)團(tuán)隊(duì)士氣。老板會(huì)迅速找出影響團(tuán)隊(duì)士氣的“唱反調(diào)者”，因?yàn)槔习迳钪芸炀蜁?huì)有熱情樂觀的候選人頂替前者的工作。

2. That They Think Someone Is Incompetent

2. 認(rèn)為別人不稱職

There will always be incompetent people in any workplace, and chances are that everyone knows who they are. If you don’t have the power to help them improve or to fire them, then you have nothing to gain by broadcasting their ineptitude. Announcing your colleague’s incompetence comes across as an insecure attempt to make you look better. Your callousness will inevitably come back to haunt you in the form of your coworkers’ negative opinions of you.

任何職場都會(huì)有能力欠佳的人，其實(shí)大家也都心知肚明。如果你不能幫他們提高能力，也沒有權(quán)力解雇他們，那么你到處宣揚(yáng)他們的無能和笨拙對自己也沒好處。說同事無能反而會(huì)讓別人以為你不自信，試圖通過貶低別人凸顯自己。你的冷漠無情會(huì)報(bào)應(yīng)到自己頭上，同事們同樣會(huì)把你說得一無是處。

3. How Much Money They Make

3. 談?wù)撟约旱男剿?/p>

Your parents may love to hear all about how much you’re pulling in each month, but in the workplace, this only breeds negativity. It’s impossible to allocate salaries with perfect fairness, and revealing yours gives your coworkers a direct measure of comparison. As soon as everyone knows how much you make, everything you do at work is considered against your income. It’s tempting to swap salary figures with a buddy out of curiosity, but the moment you do, you’ll never see each other the same way again.

或許你的父母樂意聽你談?wù)撛滦?，但是在職場，談?wù)撔剿粫?huì)引起周圍人的負(fù)面情緒。完全公平的分配薪資是絕對不可能的，但自曝薪水會(huì)讓你同事拿你的薪水和自己的做比較。一旦別人知道你的薪酬，那么他們就會(huì)覺得你不配拿那么多薪水。同事之間出于好奇而相互探問薪水，但獲知彼此底細(xì)后，你們之間的關(guān)系就再也回不到從前了。

4. Their Political and Religious Beliefs

4. 談?wù)撜魏妥诮绦叛?/p>

People’s political and religious beliefs are too closely tied to their identities to be discussed without incident at work. Disagreeing with someone else’s views can quickly alter their otherwise strong perception of you. Confronting someone’s core values is one of the most insulting things you can do.

人們的政治和宗教信仰與他們的身份聯(lián)系緊密，所以不可能在工作時(shí)討論這方面話題還相安無事。和某人觀點(diǎn)有分歧能迅速改變他人對你的看法。冒犯他人的核心價(jià)值觀是最不禮貌的行為之一。

Granted, different people treat politics and religion differently, but asserting your values can alienate some people as quickly as it intrigues others. Even bringing up a hot-button world event without asserting a strong opinion can lead to conflict.

的確，對待政治和宗教的態(tài)度因人而異。你激起他人興趣的速度有多快，維護(hù)自己的價(jià)值觀時(shí)別人疏遠(yuǎn)你的速度就有多快。即使你不堅(jiān)持自己的觀點(diǎn)，單單提及世界敏感事件就足以引起沖突了。

People build their lives around their ideals and beliefs, and giving them your two cents is risky. Be willing to listen to others without inputting anything on your end because all it takes is a disapproving look to start a conflict. Political opinions and religious beliefs are so deeply ingrained in people, that challenging their views is more likely to get you judged than to change their mind.

人們按照自己的理想和信仰來生活，因此在這類問題上發(fā)表自己的看法是冒險(xiǎn)之舉。只要一個(gè)不同意的表情就能引起沖突，所以學(xué)會(huì)樂于傾聽他人而不把自己的想法強(qiáng)加于人吧!政治觀點(diǎn)和宗教信仰在人們心中根深蒂固，挑戰(zhàn)他們的信念十之八九并不會(huì)改變他人的觀點(diǎn)，反而會(huì)讓別人對你有不好的印象。

5. What They Do on Facebook

5. 在臉譜上公布你做過的事

The last thing your boss wants to see when she logs on to her Facebook account is photos of you taking tequila shots in Tijuana. There are just too many ways you can look inappropriate on Facebook and leave a bad impression. It could be what you’re wearing, who you’re with, what you’re doing, or even your friends’ commentary. These are the little things that can cast a shadow of doubt in your boss’s or colleagues’ minds just when they are about to hand you a big assignment or recommend you for a promotion.

你老板登錄臉書時(shí)，最不愿意看到的就是你發(fā)了一張?jiān)谔崛A納(Tijuana)喝龍舌蘭酒的照片。在臉書上讓自己表現(xiàn)失態(tài)并且給他人留下不好印象的方法數(shù)不勝數(shù)?；蛟S是你的著裝，和你在一起的人，你正在做的事，甚至是你朋友的評論。你老板或同事正要給你委派重要工作或推薦你升職時(shí)，這些小細(xì)節(jié)都能讓他們產(chǎn)生疑慮。

It’s too difficult to try to censure yourself on Facebook for your colleagues. Save yourself the trouble, and don’t friend them there. Let LinkedIn be your professional “social” network, and save Facebook for everybody else.

為了照顧同事的想法而在臉書上管理好自己絕非易事。想要避免這些麻煩，那就不要加同事為臉書好友。就在“領(lǐng)英”發(fā)展你的職業(yè)關(guān)系吧!把臉書這片天地留給其他朋友。

6. What They Do in the Bedroom 6. 你在臥室的所作所為

Whether your sex life is out of this world or lacking entirely, this information has no place at work. Such comments might get a chuckle from some people, but it makes most uncomfortable, and even offended. Crossing this line will instantly give you a bad reputation.

不管你是在享受美妙的夫妻生活，還是完全沒有，這種話題都非常不適合在職場上談?wù)摗Ｕ務(wù)撨@方面話題或許會(huì)逗樂一部分人，但是大多數(shù)人還是會(huì)對此感到尷尬，甚至反感?？邕^這條“界限”會(huì)迅速地給你留下壞名聲。

7. What They Think Someone Else Does in the Bedroom

7. 你對別人臥室生活的猜想

A good 111% of the people you work with do not want to know that you bet they’re tigers in the sack. There’s no more surefire way to creep someone out than to let them know that thoughts of their love life have entered your brain. Anything from speculating on a colleague’s sexual orientation to making a relatively indirect comment like, “Oh, to be a newlywed again,” plants a permanent seed in the brains of all who hear it that casts you in a negative light.

和你共事的人，111%的人都不想知道你對他們的夫妻生活有看法。嚇跑別人的最好方法，莫過于你讓他們知道你在猜想他們的夫妻生活。從猜想同事的性取向到“又要當(dāng)新郎(新娘)啦”這類相對委婉的調(diào)侃，都會(huì)在聽到這些話的所有人心中播下一顆永遠(yuǎn)以負(fù)面眼光看待你的種子。

Your thoughts are your own. Think whatever you feel is right about people; just keep it to yourself.

你的想法是你自己的。不管你對別人有什么看法，自己知道就得了。

8. That They’re After Somebody Else’s Job

8. 你想得到別人的工作

Announcing your ambitions at work when they are in direct conflict with other people’s interests comes across as selfish and indifferent to those you work with and the company as a whole. Great employees want the whole team to succeed, not just themselves. Regardless of your actual motives (some of us really do just work for the money), announcing your selfish goal will not help you get there.

在工作中表明自己的野心，尤其當(dāng)你的野心和其他人的利益形成直接沖突時(shí)，會(huì)讓你的同事和公司認(rèn)為你很自私，對他人漠不關(guān)心。優(yōu)秀的員工希望整個(gè)團(tuán)隊(duì)取得成功，而不只是他們自己。不管你的實(shí)際動(dòng)機(jī)是什么(其中一些人確實(shí)只是為了錢)，宣布你自私的目標(biāo)將無助于實(shí)現(xiàn)它。

9. How Wild They Used To Be in College

9. 你上大學(xué)的時(shí)候有多么放縱

Your past can say a lot about you. Just because you did something outlandish or stupid 20 years ago doesn’t mean that people will believe you’ve developed impeccable judgment since then. Some behavior that might qualify as just another day in the typical fraternity (binge drinking, minor theft, drunk driving, abusing people or farm animals, and so on) shows everyone you work with that, when push comes to shove, you have poor judgment and don’t know where to draw the line. Many presidents have been elected in spite of their past indiscretions, but unless you have a team of handlers and PR types protecting and spinning your image, you should keep your unsavory past to yourself.

你的過去可以反映出你的很多方面。哪怕說你那些荒唐和愚蠢的行為是20年前的事情了，可這不意味著大家會(huì)相信你經(jīng)過這么長時(shí)間就一定具備了完美的判斷能力。有些行為，聽上去不過是當(dāng)初在大學(xué)聯(lián)誼會(huì)里的正常事情(狂飲、小偷小摸、酒后駕車、虐待人或者家畜等等)，但這會(huì)讓與你共事的人認(rèn)為，你這個(gè)人在緊要關(guān)頭缺乏判斷力，并且不懂適可而止。很多總統(tǒng)并未因其過去的不慎言行而落選，但除非你擁有一整個(gè)團(tuán)隊(duì)的經(jīng)理和公關(guān)顧問來保護(hù)和美化你的形象，你應(yīng)該讓自己不光彩的陳年舊事爛在肚子里。

10. How Intoxicated They Like to Get

10. 你喝醉成什么樣

You might think talking about how inebriated you were over the weekend has no effect on how you’re viewed at work. After all, if you’re a good worker, then you’re a good worker, right? Unfortunately not. Sharing this will not get people to think you’re fun. Instead, they will see you as unpredictable, immature, and lacking in good judgment. Too many people have negative views of drugs and alcohol for you to reveal how much you love to indulge in them.

你或許認(rèn)為，談?wù)勛约褐苣┳砭频那闆r并不會(huì)對同事如何評價(jià)你產(chǎn)生影響。畢竟這改變不了你是一名優(yōu)秀員工的事實(shí)，對不對?可惜非也。討論這個(gè)并不會(huì)讓同事認(rèn)為你這個(gè)人有趣。相反，他們會(huì)認(rèn)為你難以捉摸、不成熟并缺乏良好的判斷力。太多人對毒品和酒精都沒什么好看法，所以你還是不要暴露自己多么喜歡沉醉其中了。

11. An Offensive Joke

11. 無禮的笑話

If there’s one thing we can learn from celebrities, it’s to be careful about what you say and whom you say it to. Offensive jokes make other people feel terrible, and they make you look terrible. They also happen to be much less funny than clever jokes.

如果我們可以從名人身上學(xué)到一件事，那么它一定是留心自己說出的話和交談對象。無禮的笑話會(huì)讓其他人感到尷尬，而這類調(diào)侃會(huì)讓你這人看起來糟糕透頂。而且用這類低級笑話來活躍氣氛的效果也遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)比不上那種有分寸的幽默。

12. That They Are Job Hunting

12. 你在找工作

When I was a kid, I told my baseball coach I was quitting in two weeks. For the next two weeks, I found myself riding the bench. It got even worse after those two weeks when I decided to stay, and I became “the kid who doesn’t even want to be here.” I was crushed, but it was my own fault; I told him my decision before it was certain.

當(dāng)年我還是個(gè)小孩子的時(shí)候，我對棒球隊(duì)的教練說自己打算在兩周內(nèi)退隊(duì)。結(jié)果在接下來的兩周里我發(fā)現(xiàn)自己只能坐冷板凳。兩周之后，當(dāng)我改主意決定留下來的時(shí)候，情況變得更加糟糕，我變成了“那個(gè)甚至不想再來這里的孩子”。我痛苦萬分，但這是我自己的錯(cuò);是因?yàn)樵谖覜]有拿定主意之前，就把自己的決定告訴了教練。

The same thing happens when you tell people that you’re job hunting. Once you reveal that you’re planning to leave, you suddenly become a waste of everyone’s time. There’s also the chance that your hunt will be unsuccessful, so it’s best to wait until you’ve found a job before you tell anyone. Otherwise, you will end up riding the bench.

當(dāng)你告訴別人你在找工作的時(shí)候，同樣的事情就會(huì)發(fā)生。一旦你表明，你正計(jì)劃離職的時(shí)候，你突然間就變成了在浪費(fèi)大家的時(shí)間。你在求職中有可能會(huì)遭遇失敗，所以最好是你已經(jīng)拿到工作邀請函之后再去告訴別人。否則，你最后又得坐冷板凳。