怎樣破除對老板的崇拜？

Kids Company, a leading UK charity for disadvantaged children, collapsed a year ago amid allegations of gross financial mismanagement.

一年前，Kids Company倒閉了;倒閉前，這家?guī)椭鮿輧和挠I(lǐng)先慈善機構(gòu)被指存在嚴(yán)重財務(wù)管理不善。

Camila Batmanghelidjh, its flamboyant founder and chief executive, had been elevated to such heights that she was left unchallenged for many years, not only by her staff, donors and board of trustees, but also by the government and media.

事發(fā)之前，Kids Company耀眼的創(chuàng)始人和首席執(zhí)行官卡米拉•巴特曼海利迪(Camila Batmanghelidjh)已被抬得高高在上，多年來一直不受任何人質(zhì)疑——無論是該機構(gòu)的員工、金主和理事會，還是政府和媒體。

From the charity’s launch in 1996, government ministers approved payments to it totalling £42m in the form of grants. Ms Batmanghelidjh’s charisma, charm and fame led to her being so idealised that she avoided normal levels of scrutiny applied to most organisations.

這家慈善機構(gòu)自1996年成立以來，共計從政府部長們那里獲批4200萬英鎊的撥款。巴特曼海利迪非凡的感召力、魅力和知名度，令她被極度理想化，以致沒有受到大多數(shù)機構(gòu)面臨的正常水平的審查。

A House of Commons select committee concluded that Ms Batmanghelidjh’s personality “appeared to captivate some of the most senior political figures in the land”, and high-level political patronage may have deterred whistleblowers from coming forward.

英國議會下議院(House of Commons)特別委員會斷定，巴特曼海利迪的個性“似乎迷住了本國一些最重量級的政治人物”，而高層的政治支持可能使得有心檢舉者畏縮不前。

Kids Company provides an extreme example of the dynamics and potential consequences of “idealisation”, but these are in play at most organisations to a greater or lesser extent, and not just at the top — individual subordinates can also be put on a pedestal.

Kids Company的案例以極端的方式體現(xiàn)了“理想化”的力量與潛在后果，但絕大多數(shù)組織都或多或少地上演著這些情節(jié)，并且不僅是頂層人物——個別下屬也會被視為完人。

It may be difficult to spot potentially dangerous hero worship because it can often be disguised as the everyday respect and admiration we endow on apparently outstanding leaders.

英雄崇拜帶有潛在危險性，我們或許不易察覺它，因為它常會偽裝成普通的尊重和欣賞——對看上去杰出的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)們，我們都是尊重和欣賞的。

Such adoration is a mutual relationship with distortion on both sides, where a person’s need for admiration is fuelled by the need of admirers to see their leader as exceptional. Such admirers often have dependent personalities whose craving for emotional security blurs their perceptions of a leader’s limits and capabilities.

這種崇拜是一種兩頭都扭曲了的相互關(guān)系，在這種關(guān)系中，一個人需要被人崇拜，崇拜者又需要看到他們的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)與眾不同，后者的需求助長了前者的需求。這些崇拜者往往具有依賴性人格，他們對安全感的渴求讓他們看不清領(lǐng)導(dǎo)者的極限和能力。

Manfred Kets de Vries, psychoanalyst and professor at Insead Business School, says: “It’s a totally reinforcing dance in which, because of a general feeling of helplessness, you idealise the leader and say quickly what the leader likes and wants to hear, and that reinforces the leader’s narcissism and vice versa. Unfortunately, the moment the leader accepts this, he is surrounded by liars.”

精神分析學(xué)家和歐洲工商管理學(xué)院(Insead Business School)教授曼弗雷德•凱茨•德弗里斯(Manfred Kets de Vries)稱：“這完全是一個不斷強化的過程，由于一種整體的無助感，你將領(lǐng)導(dǎo)理想化并迅速說出這位領(lǐng)導(dǎo)喜歡和想聽的話，這增強了這位領(lǐng)導(dǎo)的自我陶醉，反之亦然。遺憾的是，一旦這位領(lǐng)導(dǎo)接受了這一點，他就被騙子包圍了。”

Heaping such admiration and trust on people in power helps sustain a fantasy that those who look after us are all-knowing, or believing that being close to great people helps us feel better about ourselves. For many, it is a way to compensate for a difficult relationship with early authority figures, usually a parent.

對當(dāng)權(quán)者寄以如此的仰慕和信任有助于維持一種幻想，即那些照管我們的人無所不知，抑或相信自己與大人物關(guān)系親近有助于使我們自我感覺更好。很多人通過這種方式來補償自己與幼年時期的權(quán)威人物(通常是父母)之間的困難關(guān)系。

Children normally imagine their parents as benevolent, all-knowing figures, and this helps cushion them against overwhelming fears of life’s dangers. With maturity, however, individuals learn to accept their parents’ flaws, and thereby to tolerate a world of uncertainties and disappointments and to rely on their own opinions rather than always accepting those of authority.

孩子們通常想象他們的父母是善良的、無所不知的，這有助于減輕他們對生活中種種危險的巨大恐懼。然而，成長后，人們學(xué)會接受父母的缺點，并因此學(xué)會容忍一個充滿不確定和失望的世界，學(xué)會依靠自己的見解而不是始終接受權(quán)威人物的觀點。

Glorifying a leader can leave him or her free to act irresponsibly, unethically or to the organisation’s detriment. It also means subordinates are unlikely to question decisions or assert their own talents and insights, which can in turn damage a company’s innovative potential and development.

一個受到崇拜的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)可能會隨意做出不負(fù)責(zé)任、不講道德或有損組織利益的行為。這種崇拜還意味著下屬們不太可能對決策提出質(zhì)疑，或者表現(xiàn)自身才能、堅持自己的見解，這反過來可能會危害一家企業(yè)的創(chuàng)新潛力和發(fā)展。

Devaluation is the inevitable downside to idealisation — the higher the person is put on a pedestal, the greater the crash, as Ms Batmanghelidjh discovered. Rather than being seen as merely flawed, her fall from grace was total, and much of the work she and her staff had accomplished was forgotten.

不可避免地，理想化的反面是被貶得一文不值——一個人被抬得越高，跌落時就摔得越重，正如巴特曼海利迪所領(lǐng)教到的。她一下子名聲掃地，而不是僅被視為有了瑕疵，她和她的員工們所完成的大量工作都被遺忘了。

All leaders have a degree of narcissism and therefore are at risk of encouraging this dynamic, but those on the extreme end of the continuum are more likely to be seduced by its allure. The more narcissistic the leader, the greater his or her need to attain admiration and the security he or she craves.

所有領(lǐng)導(dǎo)都有一定程度的自戀情結(jié)，因此有鼓勵這種事態(tài)的風(fēng)險;被周圍的人高高捧起有其吸引力，那些極端自戀的人更容易受到這種吸引力的誘惑。領(lǐng)導(dǎo)越自戀，就越需要獲得崇拜、獲得他或她所渴望的安全感。

Kerry Sulkowicz, psychoanalyst and managing principal of New York’s Boswell Group, a consultancy specialising in work relationships, says: “The danger is believing in one’s infallibility once one reaches the top. Sometimes leaders do things deliberately, or more likely unconsciously, that promote idealisation.

克里•舒爾科維奇(Kerry Sulkowicz)是一位精神分析學(xué)家，還是紐約博斯韋爾集團(tuán)(Boswell Group)的創(chuàng)始人，這家咨詢公司專注于向客戶提供職場關(guān)系方面的咨詢。舒爾科維奇稱：“危險在于認(rèn)為一個人在成為領(lǐng)袖以后就永遠(yuǎn)不會犯錯。有時領(lǐng)導(dǎo)們有意或無意間(后一種情況可能性更大)做出一些促使別人將其理想化的事情。

“They act as if they have all the answers or don’t show any vulnerability, and for those people who are susceptible to this it can lead to an idealisation of them.” “他們表現(xiàn)得仿佛無所不知或無懈可擊，這可能會讓那些容易被唬住的人將他們理想化。”

New chief executives can feel pressure to be perfect from the start, and experienced ones can believe they have seen and done it all before, says Mr Sulkowicz.

新上任的首席執(zhí)行官可能會承受壓力，感到自己必須從一開頭就做到盡善盡美;而那些有經(jīng)驗的則可能會相信自己什么都早已看過做過，舒爾科維奇稱。

The danger is when they start to act the part. Another risk factor is when the distance between a CEO and his or her staff becomes too great and as a consequence feedback diminishes.

危險在于他們從何時起開始這樣表現(xiàn)。另一個危險是當(dāng)一位CEO與他或她的員工之間距離變得太大時，反饋也會因此減少。

Mr Sulkowicz believes prevention is better than cure in this regard. “Leaders who are getting nothing but positive feedback from their organisations should actually worry about that — they should be alert to the likelihood that nothing but praise is a sign of idealisation and they should really look for criticism because otherwise they’re likely to believe it themselves and are being set up for a fall.

對此，舒爾科維奇先生認(rèn)為，與其亡羊補牢，不如防微杜漸。“那些從組織內(nèi)部除了積極意見聽不到其他聲音的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)們才真的應(yīng)該擔(dān)憂——他們應(yīng)警惕的是，如果他們只聽到溢美之詞，這表明他們很可能是被理想化了，領(lǐng)導(dǎo)者們真正應(yīng)該尋求的是批評，否則他們很可能對下屬的贊美信以為真并將會栽跟頭。

“It should raise a red flag when the exclusive praise comes from the directors, because the board’s role is in evaluating the performance of the CEO, and if the board can’t see through the idealisation then that’s really dangerous.”

“當(dāng)董事們無一例外地給出贊譽時應(yīng)該警覺，因為董事會的作用是評估CEO的業(yè)績表現(xiàn)，而倘若董事會都不能識破理想化那才真的危險。”

One business consultant in New York describes his compulsion to maintain an aura of perfection. “Idealisation is intoxicating — it makes you feel special, it’s a milder version of falling in love,” he says.

紐約的一位企業(yè)顧問這樣闡述他自己想要保持完美光環(huán)的動機。“理想化令人陶醉——它使你自命不凡，簡直就是一種溫和地墜入愛河的感覺，”他說。

He explains how he relied on admiration from his clients to compensate for the lack of love and security from his parents. By making himself invaluable to his clients he convinced them of his omniscience.

他解釋了自己如何依賴客戶的贊美來彌補從父母那里未能獲得足夠的愛與安全感。他通過讓自己對客戶非常有用，讓客戶們相信他無所不知。

“I would position myself with a magic wand able to transform any performance issue. The more they needed me, the more I could trust they would take care of my needs, financial and emotional.

“我把自己定位成一根可以化解一切難題的魔法棒。他們越需要我，我越相信他們將會滿足我的需求，無論是財務(wù)上的還是情感上的。

“The price was compromising the clear, honest counsel needed to be an effective consultant.”

“這樣做的代價是毀了一個好的顧問需要提出的清楚、誠懇的建議。”

Mr Sulkowicz believes that the prevalence of celebrity culture adds to the problem because business leaders can fall prey to its allure — they may then start believing in their own mythology.

舒爾科維奇先生認(rèn)為名人文化的流行加劇了這一問題——因為企業(yè)領(lǐng)袖們會受到這種誘惑——繼而他們有可能開始迷信自我。

“When a CEO starts to be treated as a Kim Kardashian figure, famous for being famous, it detracts from their credibility and authority as leader.”

“當(dāng)一個CEO開始被當(dāng)作金•卡戴珊(Kim Kardashian)似的人物，因出名而出名，他們作為領(lǐng)導(dǎo)的信譽和權(quán)威將會受損。”

Executives can equally idealise a subordinate. A senior executive in a private financial institution who came to me for psychotherapy revealed that his need to be seen as perfect in order to attain his CEO’s admiration defended him against fears of rejection he had suffered since childhood.

管理者同樣也會將一個下屬理想化。一位私人金融機構(gòu)的高管來找我做心理治療，他向我透露，他需要被視為完美，以贏得CEO的賞識，這會抵御他童年時代曾受到排斥的恐懼。

His compulsion to appear perfect left him dependent on his chief for reassurance and security, while the CEO in turn grew dependent on his impeccable performance. Although it appeared to be a smooth-running company, the cost of sustaining a perfect image left them both risk-averse.

由于要依賴上司的表揚來獲得信心和安全感，他強迫自己處處表現(xiàn)完美。反過來，他的上司，也就是公司的CEO也越發(fā)期待他無可挑剔的表現(xiàn)。雖然表面看來這家公司運營平穩(wěn)，但維護(hù)完美形象的成本使他們都不愿承擔(dān)風(fēng)險。

“I came to realise that what I created in order to feel safe was actually limiting my ability to move forward with my career,” he says.

“我漸漸意識到，我為了感到安全所做的一切，實際上卻限制了自己開拓事業(yè)的能力。”他說。

Naomi Shragai is a practising psychotherapist: this article is based partly on her clinical experience.

注：本文作者內(nèi)奧米•沙拉蓋(Naomi Shragai)是一名執(zhí)業(yè)心理治療師，本文部分取材于她的臨床經(jīng)驗。