職場(chǎng)人生：如何克服社會(huì)交往中的羞澀和焦慮

Shyness and social anxiety are usually the result of an overly excited amygdala (a portion of the brain that receives stimulation based on your surroundings). Individuals who are shy or socially anxious typically have an amygdala that is extremely sensitive (in part due to their genetics, in part due to the way they were raised).

害羞和社交焦慮癥通常都是杏仁核過(guò)度興奮造成的現(xiàn)象，而杏仁核則是一種根據(jù)環(huán)境接收刺激的大腦組織。害羞或有社交焦慮癥的人，杏仁核一般都非常敏感——這一方面跟基因有關(guān)，另一方面則歸因于他們的成長(zhǎng)經(jīng)歷。

Shy or socially anxious individuals perceive unknown situations as highly threatening.

在害羞或社交焦慮的人看來(lái)，未知環(huán)境都是非常危險(xiǎn)的。

This feeling of being "threatened" would be beneficial if you were being chased by a lion; causing your mind to focus solely on what is critical to save your life. However, your mind "going blank" at a dinner party or when your boss walks in your office is not very beneficial.

當(dāng)你被一頭獅子追捕時(shí)，這種警惕感會(huì)十分有利，能讓你一門心思想方設(shè)法逃命。但是，在宴會(huì)上或老板走進(jìn)你辦公室時(shí)，如果你的大腦還是會(huì)“一片空白”，那就不好了。

So with that, let’s discuss 12 ways to overcome shyness and social anxiety.

所以，我們來(lái)看看下面這12個(gè)克服害羞和社交焦慮癥的方法吧。

6 Steps to Overcoming Shyness and Social Anxiety

6步克服羞澀和社交焦慮癥：

1. Reality Check

認(rèn)清事實(shí)

Step number one is to recognize what is taking place chemically in your brain when you’re feeling anxious or shy.

第一步就是要弄清楚當(dāng)你感到緊張或害羞時(shí)，大腦會(huì)發(fā)生怎樣的化學(xué)變化。

You are not abnormal; your brain is just "unusually" sensitive to new stimuli, causing you to proceed with extreme caution – usually "unnecessary caution". Just knowing this will help you rationalize what’s going on and will help relax you in future situations.

你沒(méi)有“不正常”：只不過(guò)你的大腦對(duì)新刺激“格外”敏感罷了，以至于你表現(xiàn)得特別謹(jǐn)慎——一般都是些“不必要的謹(jǐn)慎”。認(rèn)識(shí)到這一點(diǎn)有助于你理性面對(duì)正在發(fā)生的事情，進(jìn)而在以后環(huán)境中做到自如放松。

No need to become shy or anxious, just tell yourself that it’s just some chemicals and cells reacting based on a perceived threat that’s not really there – no need to panic (ignore the racing heart and sweaty palms) – just calm down and proceed intelligently.

沒(méi)必要害羞或焦慮，你只要告訴自己：這些不過(guò)是假想危險(xiǎn)引發(fā)的化學(xué)與細(xì)胞反應(yīng)罷了。也沒(méi)必要驚慌，別去管那加速的心跳和冒汗的手心，嘗試鎮(zhèn)靜下來(lái)并機(jī)智應(yīng)對(duì)。

2. Don’t Ponder on Negative Thoughts

不要陷入消極思維

When you give a presentation – there’s always three presentations involved: There’s the presentation you planned on giving, there’s the presentation you actually gave, and then there’s the presentation you wish you gave.

如果你要作報(bào)告，那么報(bào)告無(wú)非就三種形式：你正在發(fā)布的報(bào)告、你已經(jīng)發(fā)布的報(bào)告，以及你打算發(fā)布的報(bào)告。

When you focus on what you could have done better, when you focus on the negative, you create a cycle of negativity. After you leave a meeting, or a dinner party, or a social gathering, don’t ponder on how you could have been "better". Don’t think, "Why did I say that?"

當(dāng)你一味想著本可以做得更好時(shí)，當(dāng)你只看到消極方面時(shí)，你就會(huì)形成消極循環(huán)模式。所以，會(huì)議、派對(duì)或集會(huì)結(jié)束后，請(qǐng)不要糾結(jié)自己本可以表現(xiàn)得“更出色”，也不要懊惱“剛才我干嘛要那樣說(shuō)?”。

Everyone says something foolish from time-to-time, however, focusing on negativity will lead you to believe that you are a person who says the wrong things at social gatherings; that belief will manifest itself every time. Recognize that everyone says something foolish from time-to-time; don’t ponder, move on.

每個(gè)人難免都會(huì)說(shuō)些蠢話，如果你只看到消極面，漸漸就會(huì)真的以為自己在社交時(shí)只會(huì)說(shuō)錯(cuò)話;而且，這種想法每次都會(huì)應(yīng)驗(yàn)。請(qǐng)記?。好總€(gè)人偶爾都會(huì)說(shuō)些蠢話。所以，不要糾結(jié)，該干啥就干啥去吧。

3. No Pressure

不要有壓力

Don’t feel pressure to be interesting, entertaining, or talkative. Just be your normal-natural self. It’s the pressure to be like someone else that enhances social anxiety and shyness.

不要為了表現(xiàn)得風(fēng)趣、討人喜歡或健談而感到緊張不安。做回你平常的樣子就行。模仿別人的壓力會(huì)加劇社交焦慮感和羞澀。

You have survived participating in conversations your entire life. Your next conversation in a group is just one more conversation – you are not required to be the life of the party. Just be yourself and speak your mind when you have something to say – and if you don’t have anything to say – no pressure; "chill out" and have fun.

你這輩子一直就是在與人談話中成長(zhǎng)過(guò)來(lái)的。接下來(lái)在小組中的發(fā)言實(shí)質(zhì)上也是談話而已——你又不一定非得成為派對(duì)的活躍分子啊。你只要做好自己，有話就說(shuō)、無(wú)話則沉默;不要緊張，放松點(diǎn)吧。

4. Don’t Assume

別去假想

Don’t assume that people are judging you. Most people are primarily concerned about themselves and how they come across; they don’t have time to be consumed by your behavior. Remember this, if you don’t remember anything else in this article: Everyone is awkward at times!

別去假想其他人怎么看你。多數(shù)人通常只會(huì)考慮自身和自己的遭遇，沒(méi)人有時(shí)間來(lái)關(guān)心你如何如何。要是這篇文章沒(méi)能給你留下什么印象，那么請(qǐng)記住這句話：有時(shí)每個(gè)人都很難相處!

When having conversations, every single person at one time or another does or says something that’s a little awkward. Don’t feel that awkward situations or strange silences are your fault alone. Don’t take credit for all the negatives in a conversation. Awkward things will happen, there will be silences, that’s okay; it’s perfectly normal, don’t think it’s not and keep on being yourself – your best self.

交談時(shí)，每個(gè)人間或都會(huì)說(shuō)出難堪的話來(lái)。不要一廂情愿地以為是你造成了這種尷尬的處境或別扭的沉默。不要把談話的失敗全都怪罪到自己身上。尷尬時(shí)常發(fā)生，沉默也總是出現(xiàn)，沒(méi)什么大不了的;這很正常，不要少見(jiàn)多怪——做好你自己就行啦。

5. Don’t Panic – Pause

不要慌張——稍作停頓

There’s no need to panic in social situations. If someone asks you a question, just pause. Think about the question and then answer it appropriately. Most socially anxious or shy individuals react to questions. They feel the need to answer a question immediately, as soon as the final word leaves the mouth of the other person; they feel obligated to start speaking – not necessary.

社交場(chǎng)合無(wú)需慌張。要是有人向你發(fā)問(wèn)，那就先停頓一下，想清楚后再恰當(dāng)回答對(duì)方。大部分社交焦慮或害羞的人總是立刻回答問(wèn)題。他們覺(jué)得只要對(duì)方話剛說(shuō)完，就該作出回答;他們認(rèn)為談話是一種“義務(wù)”——其實(shí)完全沒(méi)必要這樣。

You never want to react to a question; you always want to respond, after you pause.

你不需要立即回應(yīng)提問(wèn)，你只需在停頓之后回答提問(wèn)。

When you do this, you will sound more thoughtful, more insightful, and you will have given more deliberate thought to what you’re about to say. You will appear to have "executive presence".

當(dāng)你這樣做時(shí)，你聽(tīng)上去會(huì)更有想法和見(jiàn)解，你的想法會(huì)顯得更成熟、更具執(zhí)行力。

The need to respond right away shows that a person isn’t comfortable with silence. It’s usually the least "powerful" person in a conversation who doesn’t want there to be silence, but silence is okay. It shows that you are comfortable in your skin.

立即回應(yīng)則顯得一個(gè)人不習(xí)慣沉默。通常，談話中最沒(méi)有氣場(chǎng)的人也最不習(xí)慣沉默，其實(shí)沉默也沒(méi)什么。它說(shuō)明你能夠做到悠然自若。

So learn to pause, never panic! Gather your thoughts, avoid saying “um” and answer like the intelligent person that you are.

所以，學(xué)會(huì)停頓，不要慌張!整理好思緒，改掉“嗯啊”，像機(jī)智的人那樣去回答問(wèn)題吧。

6. Body Language

肢體語(yǔ)言

Your physiology will determine your psychology.

你的生理能決定你的心理。

Avoid having the body language of someone who is shy and/or timid. Don’t haunch over and try not to be seen.

不要染上害羞或膽怯的人的肢體語(yǔ)言。不要縮手縮腳躲起來(lái)。

Stand tall, shoulders back. People will believe the body language you portray more than the words you say! If you look timid, people will believe you are timid and will treat you like a timid person.

請(qǐng)挺直腰板。你的肢體語(yǔ)言遠(yuǎn)比口頭言談更有信服力!如果你看上去就很羞怯，人們也會(huì)這么認(rèn)為，接著就會(huì)把你當(dāng)作羞怯的人對(duì)待。

To be seen as a leader, walk like a president. Take up space — like you’re a king. Put your feet on the desk, make large hand gestures, stand tall. If you possess the body language of a leader, people will begin to treat you like a leader. They will assume that if you handle yourself like a king, if you dress like a king, you must have good reason for doing so. People will believe the image you portray!

請(qǐng)像領(lǐng)導(dǎo)一樣出場(chǎng)，如總統(tǒng)一般大步流星。像國(guó)王那樣壓住氣場(chǎng)——把腳擱在桌上、采用大氣的手勢(shì)、抬頭挺胸。如果你擁有領(lǐng)導(dǎo)的肢體語(yǔ)言，人們就會(huì)像對(duì)待領(lǐng)導(dǎo)那樣對(duì)你。他們會(huì)覺(jué)得，要是你穿得像個(gè)國(guó)王、舉止也像國(guó)王，那你肯定有兩下子。你所樹(shù)立的形象可以贏得人們的信任!