托福獨(dú)立口語(yǔ)真題沖刺 解決朋友分歧的有效方式

　　我們每個(gè)人都是獨(dú)立的個(gè)體，有自己獨(dú)特的想法和生活方式，但又會(huì)因?yàn)榕d趣、工作等原因與他人發(fā)生聯(lián)系產(chǎn)生友誼。朋友相處的過(guò)程中難免發(fā)生分歧與不和，那么要如何保證友誼的小船能夠繼續(xù)乘風(fēng)破浪順利航行呢?我們來(lái)看一篇難度較高、更適合沖刺階段童鞋進(jìn)行備考練習(xí)的托福獨(dú)立口語(yǔ)真題分享：What is the most effective way to resolve a disagreement between friends? Explain your answer.解決朋友間分歧最有效的方法是什么?

　　Many superficial friendships end up being shelved after an argument because there isn’t enough depth to warrant all the trouble it takes to smooth over the disagreement. Unfortunately, even when the friendship reaches a deeper level, conflict continues to happen and can break apart a relationship. How can this be avoided?

　　First and foremost, when you have a falling out with a good friend, try to gain an understanding of each other’s perspective. To help understand why a disagreement started, it may be beneficial to ask questions about each other’s point of view. It is important to make sure that when you are listening to the other person’s perspective, you are actually listening and not adding your opinion. You will have the opportunity to tell your side in due time.

　　Also, it is important to avoid adding unnecessary drama. These things never help fix a problem and ultimately bring more hurt to all involved. Things like yelling, name calling, threatening to cut off the friendship, and personal attacks should be avoided at all costs. If it comes to that, walk away, breathe, step back and allow some time before you try again.

　　Last but not the least, agree to disagree. Resolving a conflict should not be seen as a contest to see who won or who was right or wrong. Even after taking steps to resolve a conflict, you still might not be able to agree. If you want to keep the relationship, it is okay to agree to disagree on an issue.

　　許多表面上的友誼最終在爭(zhēng)吵之后被擱置起來(lái)，因?yàn)闆](méi)有足夠的深度來(lái)保證消除分歧所需的所有麻煩。不幸的是，即使友誼達(dá)到更深的層次，沖突仍在繼續(xù)，并可能打破一段關(guān)系。首先，當(dāng)你和一個(gè)好朋友鬧翻時(shí)，試著了解對(duì)方的觀點(diǎn)。為了理解爭(zhēng)論產(chǎn)生的原因，詢問(wèn)他們的觀點(diǎn)可能會(huì)有所幫助。重要的是要確保當(dāng)你聽(tīng)別人的觀點(diǎn)時(shí)，你實(shí)際上是在傾聽(tīng)而不是增加你的觀點(diǎn)。你將有機(jī)會(huì)說(shuō)出你的觀點(diǎn)。同時(shí)，避免不必要的戲劇化。這樣做永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)有助于解決問(wèn)題，最終會(huì)給所有相關(guān)人員帶來(lái)更多的傷害，包括叫喊、罵人、威脅斷絕友誼和人身攻擊。如果到了這個(gè)地步，走開(kāi)、(深)呼吸、退讓，在你再試一次之前留出一些時(shí)間。最后但也很重要的是，允許反面意見(jiàn)。解決沖突不應(yīng)被視為一場(chǎng)競(jìng)賽，看誰(shuí)贏、誰(shuí)對(duì)誰(shuí)錯(cuò)。即使在采取措施解決沖突之后，你可能仍然不能同意。如果你想保持關(guān)系，就這一問(wèn)題達(dá)成妥協(xié)吧。

　　筆記

　　being shelved：被擱置起來(lái)

　　enough depth to warrant all the trouble it takes to smooth over the disagreement：這里指友誼的深度不足以平穩(wěn)的度過(guò)這次分歧

　　falling out：爭(zhēng)吵

　　each other’s perspective：從別人的觀點(diǎn)，這是口語(yǔ)和寫(xiě)作里面經(jīng)常用到的短語(yǔ)