Do Not Like You, Then Help You Fail
Most people who fail for lack of social skills talk of "office politics"doing them in,but the politics may be nothing more than normal interactions among people.If you have trouble with"office politics",you may really be having trouble dealing with people.
You may get along on brilliance alone for a while,but most careers involve other people.You can have great academic intelligence and still lack social intelligence-the ability to be a good listener,to be sensitive toward others,to give and take criticism well.People with high social intelligence admit their mistakes,take their share of blame and move on. they know how to build team support.
If people don't like you,they may help you fail.One day at an airport,a traveler observed a well-dressed businessman yelling at a porter about the porter's handling of his luggage.The more abusive the businessman became,the calmer the porter seemed.After the businessman left,the traveler complimented the porter on his restraint."oh,that's nothing,"he said,smiling."You know,that man's going to Miami,but his bags-they'er going to Kalamazoo."Co-workers,even subordinates,if poorly treated,can do you in.
On the other hand,you can get away with serious mistakes if you are socially intelligent.This is why many mediocre executives survive violent corporate upheavls.Sensitive in their supporters usually help them recover.A mistake may actually futher their careers if the boss thinks they handled the situation in a mature and responsible way.
People with poor interpersonal skills have trouble taking citicism.When confronted with a mistake,they let their ego and emotions get in the way. they may deny resonsibility and become moody,volatile or angry. They mark themselves as "prickly"and"temperamental".
Social intelligence is an acquired skills.The more you practise ,the better you get.Like good manners,it can be learned.
不喜歡,就“幫”你失敗
大多數(shù)因為缺乏社交技能而失敗的人常常談到“公務(wù)”弄得他們筋疲力盡。但公務(wù)或許只不過是正常的人際交往而已。如果你“公務(wù)”碰到麻煩,你就真的可能在與人交往方面有困難了。
你興許在單獨工作時顯赫一陣子,但大多數(shù)工作都涉及到其他人。你可能具有非凡的學(xué)術(shù)智能,卻仍然缺乏社交能力---好好聽取別人意見,體貼他人,善于給予批評和接受批評的能力。有高度社交能力的人承認自己的錯誤,接受自己應(yīng)付的責任,然后繼續(xù)前進。他們知道怎樣建立相互支持的合作關(guān)系。
如果人們不喜歡你,他們可能幫你失敗。有一天,在機場,一位游客看到一位穿著入時的商人沖著一個搬運工人大喊大叫,對搬運工處理他的行李的方式大發(fā)脾氣。商人越是無理,搬運工卻顯得越加心平氣和。商人離開后,游客稱贊搬運工能忍辱克己。“哦,沒什么,”搬運工微笑著說,“你知道,那個人要干到邁阿密去,可是他的行李袋卻給運往卡拉馬祖。”同事,甚至下屬,受到不良對待時,可能使你陷入困境。
另一方面,如果你社交能力強,處事聰明,你就能避免一些嚴重的錯誤。這就是為什么許多能力平凡的主管人員能成功處理公司中突然發(fā)生的動亂事件的原因。他們因為在與人交往中周到地體貼別人而很受人喜歡;他們犯了錯誤時,其支持著常幫助他們改正錯誤,使之恢復(fù)原狀。如果老板認為,他們用一種成熟而負責任的方式處理了局勢,那么一個錯誤實際上也許能推進他們的事業(yè)。
交際技能較差的人很難接受批評。他們面對錯誤時,讓自尊心和自己的情緒成為絆腳石。他們可能推卸責任,變得不快,動輒發(fā)脾氣。他們稱自己是“易發(fā)脾氣的人","生性易激動的人”
社交能力是一種通過個人努力而獲得的技能。鍛煉的越多,就掌握的越好。象禮貌一樣,它是可以學(xué)會的