輕松美語(yǔ)會(huì)話第3輯著手改變錢的故事

所屬教程:輕松美語(yǔ)會(huì)話第3輯

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When money has a tangible value,a lot of emotional things hitchhike on its coattails.
金錢具有實(shí)實(shí)在在的價(jià)值，因此很多有關(guān)情感的東西和它搭上了關(guān)系。
Money often functions as the "currency of caring."
金錢往往起著“愛(ài)心貨幣”的作用。
More and more professionals_psychotherapists,counselors,social workers and others_have begun to address in their work the hidden ways that money works for,and against,many people.
越來(lái)越多的專家（包括精神治療醫(yī)師、心理顧問(wèn)、社會(huì)工作者等等）。已開(kāi)始在其著作中論述金錢以其急秘的方式對(duì)很多人所起的作用—好的作用和壞的作用。
In the forefront of this movement is Dr.Krueger.
大衛(wèi)醫(yī)生是這一運(yùn)動(dòng)的先驅(qū)。
The author of "Emotional Business"and "Success and Fear of Success in Women,"
作為《情感交易》和《婦女對(duì)成功的認(rèn)識(shí)》的作者，
Dr.Krueger has a keen and heartfelt understanding of the symbolic value of money,
他對(duì)金錢的象征性價(jià)值，有著敏感的，衷心的理解力。
the money patterns and symptoms that can arise from our early roots,
對(duì)處理錢財(cái)?shù)姆绞胶臀覀兏畹俟痰拿。?br /> and how we can take steps to change our"story"so that we may find our authentic selves.
對(duì)我們?cè)撊绾尾扇〈胧└淖兩罘绞揭哉业秸鎸?shí)的自我，都有著深刻的理解。
Here is what he had to say in a recent talk with Institute Founder and Executive Director Karen McCall.
以下是最近他和協(xié)會(huì)創(chuàng)建者及執(zhí)行董事Karen McCall的一次談話。
Karen McCall:In your book"Emotional Business,"you talk about money in terms of what it represents for many people.
在您的《情感交易》一書中，您談到貨幣對(duì)于大多數(shù)人而言代表什么。
Let's talk about the symbolic value of money_about what money does and doesn't buy.
現(xiàn)在我們就來(lái)談?wù)勜泿畔笳饕饬x上的價(jià)值錢買得到什么，買不到什么。
David Krueger:Well,first of all you have to understand that money is a tremendous force,
好的，首先你得明白，錢的力量是巨大的，
one that in terms of its tangible value determines where we live ,
就其實(shí)實(shí)在在的價(jià)值而言，它可以決定我們住在哪兒，
how we live,whether we can put food on the table,and so on.
我們?nèi)绾紊?，我們的餐桌上是否有東西可吃，諸如此類。
But when you look closely,you see that there are all kinds of emotional things that hitchhike on it as well.
不過(guò)如果你仔細(xì)探究，你會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)還有種種情感方面的問(wèn)題也與之相關(guān)。
KM:Say a little more about that.
您能就這個(gè)問(wèn)題詳細(xì)談?wù)剢幔?br /> DK:Money,for many people,is treated unconsciously as a "currency of caring."
很多人把錢當(dāng)作一種“有愛(ài)心的貨幣”而自己渾然不覺(jué)。
So a lot of things are attributed to money-love,power,fame.
很多東西，比如愛(ài)情、權(quán)利、聲名、都被認(rèn)為源于金錢。
This is confusing what money is with what it can do.
就其本身的作用而言，金錢到底是什么？這個(gè)令人困惑的問(wèn)題。
And when our conscious intentions are at odds with our unconscious motivations,we'll never feel quite"right"inside.
當(dāng)我們有意識(shí)的目的和我們無(wú)意識(shí)的動(dòng)機(jī)不一致時(shí)，我們的內(nèi)心就會(huì)覺(jué)得不對(duì)勁。
The more money symbolizes our unfulfilled needs and desires,the less it satisfies us.
越是用金錢來(lái)標(biāo)志我們未被滿足的需要與欲望，金錢就越不能滿足我們。
KM:That raises an interesting idea,because what you've just described is often a foundation for addictions of various kinds.
你剛才所說(shuō)的通常是對(duì)很多東西上癮的基礎(chǔ)，這讓我想到了一個(gè)有趣的問(wèn)題，
Can one become addicted to money?
就是人們會(huì)對(duì)金錢上癮嗎？
DK:Absolutely.When money serves as a proxy,when it serves as a symbol for what one really wants,there will never be enough.
絕對(duì)可能。當(dāng)金錢成為一種替代品，成為一個(gè)人真正所需的一種象征，那就再多也不夠了。
An addiction is a promise that's never kept_hope given life by proxy.
任何一種上癮都是一個(gè)永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)遵守的諾言。生活的希望就在于那個(gè)替代品。
It's very common for someone to say"I won't have any problems if I can just make a million dollars,
常常有人說(shuō)，“只要我能賺一百萬(wàn)，我的生活就不會(huì)有任何問(wèn)題了，
or five million dollars,and have a house in a great neighborhood.
或者是五百萬(wàn)，并在富人區(qū)有棟房子。
But it's never enough;you can lose enough,you can't make enough.
其實(shí)那是遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)不夠的，你會(huì)失去很多，而你掙錢卻是永不嫌多的。
When you make money the proxy of what you need,you will never be satisfied.
如果你把金錢當(dāng)作你所需的一切的替代品，你就永不會(huì)滿足。
KM:What are the components of an addiction?
要具備哪些必要條件才會(huì)上癮呢？
DK:Anything that you can be addicted to has three components.
你對(duì)能上癮的任何東西都包含三個(gè)主要因素。
One is the historical component that often arises out of our family of origin and our earliest experiences of being,or not being,cared for.
首要的是歷史因素，它可能源于我們出生的家庭，源于我們?cè)缒瓯魂P(guān)心（或者不被關(guān)心）的經(jīng)歷。
Out of their histories,people come to create their own personal stories,with specific meanings assigned to the object of their addiction.
在自身歷史外，人們往往以自己的經(jīng)歷來(lái)書寫個(gè)人的故事，其特定的意義被轉(zhuǎn)化到他們上癮的對(duì)象上。
The second component is the symbolic equation that we assign to the money or alcohol or other"drug."
其二是我們將金錢，酒精或其它毒品在象征意義上視為等同。
For example,we might equate money with being loved,or with being either powerful or impotent.
例如，我們會(huì)把金錢與被愛(ài)，與強(qiáng)大或是無(wú)能聯(lián)系在一起。
And the third component is that whatever the object of addiction is_whether it's money,food,drugs,sex or whatever,
其三，不管上癮的對(duì)象是什么，不論是金錢，食物，毒品，性還是別的什么，
the object has an immediate capacity to regulate both physiological and psychological experiences,both tension states and feelings.
它都能立刻對(duì)你的生理和心理體驗(yàn)，對(duì)你的緊張狀態(tài)和感覺(jué)起著調(diào)節(jié)作用。
And anything that is used addictively comes to further enhance the symbolism of the proxy,
所有的上癮都強(qiáng)化替代物的象征作用，
crowding out one's personal story and taking on a life of its own.
而對(duì)個(gè)人經(jīng)歷和對(duì)自己承擔(dān)的生活責(zé)任漠不關(guān)心。
KM:You've said that when it comes to addictions,you like to distinguish between"pattern"and"symptom".
您說(shuō)在講到上癮的時(shí)候，行為方式和癥狀是有所不同的，
Let's talk more about that.
我們談?wù)勥@個(gè)好嗎？
DK:A symptom is a particular kind of behavior or enactment_compulsive gambling,compulsive shopping,those kinds of things.
癥狀是一種特定的行為方式或規(guī)定，象強(qiáng)迫性的賭博和購(gòu)物等類似的事情。
Patterns have a broader configuration.
行為方式的范圍要廣得多。
A pattern is not a single,symptomatic act,but a broader set of behaviors,like having someone rescue you from a financial disaster.
它不是一種獨(dú)立的，表現(xiàn)癥狀的行為，而是一系列范圍更廣泛的行為，比如在經(jīng)濟(jì)狀況不妙時(shí)讓人救助。
It's using money or the means for obtaining money as a kind of engagement as a way of connecting with people.
它是以花錢的方式或是賺錢的方式作為一種承諾或保證，一種與別人聯(lián)系的方式。
For example,parents or a loved one or spouse would rescue from financial difficulties at the very time when you feel estranged or disconnected emotionally.
例如，在你孤立無(wú)助的時(shí)候，你的父母、愛(ài)人或配偶會(huì)幫你從經(jīng)濟(jì)因境中解脫出來(lái)。
KM:How difficult is it to change these patterns?
要改變行為方式有多難呢？
DK:Patterns can have a beginning,middle and end within a matter of minutes or hours,such as compulsive shopping or spending.
有些行為方式可以在幾分鐘或者幾個(gè)小時(shí)內(nèi)經(jīng)歷從開(kāi)始到結(jié)束的全過(guò)程，比如強(qiáng)迫性購(gòu)物或消費(fèi)。
But there are also patterns,such as certain difficulties in intimacy in a relationship,that may take 10 or 20 years to unfold,
而有些行為方式，比如與人建立一種親密的關(guān)系，卻要經(jīng)過(guò)一二十年才能表現(xiàn)出來(lái)。
and recovery from these patterns can be tougher than to look at the rapidly recurring patterns,
要擺脫這樣的行為方式，就比擺脫那些快速循環(huán)的行為方式困難多了，
because by the time one has gone through it once or twice,they're well beyond middle age.
因?yàn)楫?dāng)一個(gè)人經(jīng)歷這種行為一兩次之后，往往都到中年了。
But the greater the understanding of the motivations that go into it,
一個(gè)人越是理解了這其中的動(dòng)機(jī)，
the greater possibility one has to really recognize that they themselves are creating the patterns as part of their stories,
就越能真正認(rèn)識(shí)到，他們已經(jīng)形成了這樣的行為方式并將其當(dāng)作他們生活的一部分，
and that with understanding,one may be able to create a very different story.
而一旦理解了這些，就可以重新開(kāi)始一種截然不同的生活體驗(yàn)。
KM:You've said that the more the story of the symbol_in this case,money_comes to have a central position in one's life,
你說(shuō)標(biāo)志物（這里指金錢）的地位越是重要，
the more it has the potential to crowd out other very real and necessary things.
這一標(biāo)志物就越會(huì)將其他真實(shí)而重要的東西從生活中擠出去。
For some people this takes the form of underearning.
對(duì)有些人來(lái)說(shuō)，這表現(xiàn)為收入低下。
How would you define under-earning?
你如何定義收入低下呢？
DK:I see under_earning not simply as the inability to acquire money or to work to one's full potential,
我認(rèn)為收入低下不是簡(jiǎn)單的無(wú)力獲取金錢，或無(wú)法發(fā)揮個(gè)人潛能賺錢，
or,in the case of various kinds of independent professionals,the inability to set or collect fees.
或是對(duì)于那些自由職業(yè)者而言收不到帳，
It is those things,but it is also an internal issue.
它表現(xiàn)為這些現(xiàn)象，但它同時(shí)也是一個(gè)人內(nèi)在的問(wèn)題。
In one's own sense of self,ambition is one pole and ideal is another.
在一個(gè)人的自我意識(shí)中，抱負(fù)是一回事，理想是另一回事。
If..if we have formed an internal ideal that is attainable,
如果我們心中有了一個(gè)可以達(dá)到的理想，
we will most likely be fairly successful at working and earning at an appropriate level.
我們的工作就會(huì)相當(dāng)成功，收入也能達(dá)到相應(yīng)的水平。
KM:What you're really talking about is self_esteem,isn't it?
你所說(shuō)的其實(shí)是自尊，對(duì)嗎？
DK:Yes,and the only place that I know of that self_esteem comes from is from having an ideal that's attainable,
對(duì)。我認(rèn)為自尊只能源于擁有一個(gè)可以達(dá)到的理想，
and achieving that ideal or those goals.
并努力去實(shí)現(xiàn)它的過(guò)程。
Now,what happens when the ideal is coupled with what someone else wants,or with an external goal?
當(dāng)你的理想和別人的一樣時(shí)，或者與一個(gè)外在的目標(biāo)一致時(shí)，又會(huì)如何呢？
External affirmation makes one very vulnerable to things that would be one very vulnerable to things that would be emblems of worth_money,possessions,and other socially acceptable stand_ins for self-worth.
外界的認(rèn)可使一個(gè)人在金錢，財(cái)富和其他能被社會(huì)認(rèn)可的自我價(jià)值面前變得容易受到傷害。
But nothing is ever going to be enough.
不過(guò)沒(méi)有什么東西會(huì)有個(gè)夠的。
Nothing is going to be good enough unless you have a sense of "good enough"inside,
沒(méi)有什么東西會(huì)足夠好，除非你的內(nèi)心有一種“足夠好”的感覺(jué)，
which in turn means feeling a kind of affirmation of one's own worth internally.
這樣反過(guò)來(lái)你會(huì)從心底里感受到對(duì)自我價(jià)值的肯定。