Text The Day I Was Fat
I was never in great shape.
As a child,I was always called "plump."
I could never sit Indian-style the way other kids did,
and when I made the cheer-leading squad in eighth grade
it was because I had a big mouth and a great smile,
not because I could do the splits or perform elegant cartwheels.
Although I maintained a respectable weight throughout high school,
there was always a fat person inside of me just waiting to burst onto the scene.
Adulthood,marriage,and settling down had bad effects on my weight:
I blew up!The fat lady had finally arrived,saw the welcome mat,
and moved right in.
No one in my family could tell me I was fat.
They know that I had gained weight,I knew that I had gained weight,
and I knew that they knew that I gained weight.
But no discuss the topic was out of the question.
Once,my mother said,"You're too pretty to be so heavy";
that was the closest anyone had ever come to calling me fat.
Later,my husband teased me because we couldn't lie on the couch together anymore,
and I just cried and cried.
He never dared to mention it again,but I didn't stop eating.
I had just given birth to my first child and was at least fifty pounds overweight
Nonetheless,I remember feeling that that time was the greatest time in my life.
I had a beautiful new baby,new furniture,a great husband,and a lovely house.
What more could anyone want?
Well,I knew what else I wanted:I wanted to be slim and healthy.
I just didn't care enough about myself to stop my eating.
I tried to lose weight every day,but I couldn't get started.
Diets didn't last through lunch,and I got bigger by the day.
One summer afternoon in 1988,as I was headed to the pool
with my sister-in-law and our children,
I got into an argument with a teenager
who was driving fast and tailing our car.
When he nearly ran us off the road,
I turned around and glared at him to show my disapproval
and my concern for our safety.
Suddenly,we began shouting at each other.
He was about 18,with an ugly,red,swollen face.
The few teeth he had were yellow and rotten.
He followed us to the pool and,
as he pulled into the parking lot behind us,our argument became heated.
"What's your problem,bitch?"he screamed.
"You drive like an idiot!That's my problem,okay?"
When I got out of the car and walked around to get the baby,
he laughed to his friend,"Ah,look at her.
She's fat!Go to hell,fat bitch."And then they drove away.
Once inside the gates to the pool,
my sister-in-law advised me to forget the whole incident.
"Come on,"she said."Don't worry about that boy!
Did you see his teeth?He was rude."
But I couldn't get his words out of my mind.
They stung like a whip."I'm fat,"I thought to myself.
"I haven't just put on a few pounds.
I can't get rid of my weight easily.I'm just plain fat."
Nobody had ever called me fat before,and it hurt terribly.But it was true.
On that very day,
as I sat at the pool hoping that nobody would see me in my bathing suit,
I promised myself that no one would ever call me fat again.
The hideous 18-year-old idiot had spoken the words that none of my loved ones
had had the heart to say even though they were true.
Yes,I was fat.
From then on,I was committed to shedding the weight and getting into shape.
I started a rigorous program of running and dieting the very next day.
Within months,
I joined a gym and managed to make some friends who are still my workout buddies.
However,in the past seven years,I've done more than lose weight:
I've reshaped my attitude,my lifestyle,and my self-image.
Now,I read everything I can about nutrition and health.
I'm even considering becoming an aerobics instructor.
I cook low-fat foods--chicken,fish,lean meats,vegetables
and I serve my family healthy,
protein-rich meals prepared with dietetic ingredients.
The children and I often walk to school,ride bikes,roller-blade,and run.
Health and fitness have become essential to our household and our lives.
But what's really wonderful is that,
sometime between that important day in 1988 and today,
my self image stopped being about low I look and began being about how I feel.
I feel energetic,healthy,confident,strong,and pretty.
Ironically,the abuse I endured in the parking lot
has helped me regain my self-esteem,not just my figure.
My body looks good,but my mind feels great!
I hope that the kid from the pool has had his teeth fixed because I'm sure
they were one source of his misery.
If I ever see him again,
I won't tell him that he changed my life in such a special way.
I won't let him know that he gave me the greatest gift he could ever give me
just by being honest.
I won't give him the satisfaction of knowing
that the day he called me fat was one of the best days of my life.