海倫·凱勒自傳《我的生活》第67期

　　I have also seen him in "The Rivals." Once while I was calling on him in Boston he acted the moststriking parts of "The Rivals" for me. The reception-room where we sat served for a stage. He and his son seated themselves at the big table, and Bob Acres wrote his challenge. I followed all his movements with my hands, and caught the drollery of his blunders and gestures in a way that would have been impossible had it all been spelled to me. Then they rose to fight the duel, and I followed the swift thrusts and parries of the swords and the waverings of poor Bob as his courage oozed out at his finger ends. Then the great actor gave his coat a hitch and his mouth a twitch, and in an instance I was in the village of Falling Water and felt Schneider’s shaggy head against my knee. Mr. Jefferson recited the best dialogues of "Rip Van Winkle," in which the tearcame close upon the smile. He asked me to indicate as far as I could the gestures and action that should go with the lines. Of course, I have no sense whatever of dramatic action, and could make only random guesses; but with masterful art he suited the action to the word. The sigh of Rip as he murmurs, "Is a man so soon forgotten when he is gone?" the dismay with which he searches for dog and gun after his long sleep, and his comical irresolution over signing the contract with Derrick—all these seem to be right out of life itself; that is, the ideal life, where things happen as we think they should.

　　我還在《對手》中看到過他的表演。記得有一次我曾在波士頓拜訪過他，而他特別為我表演了《對手》中最精彩的情節(jié)。我們見面的會客廳被當(dāng)做一個臨時舞臺，他和他的兒子一起坐在一張大桌子旁邊，而鮑勃·埃克斯則書寫著他的戰(zhàn)表。我用雙手追隨著他的每一次移動，捕捉著他滑稽可笑的肢體語言——在某種程度上，這種“語言”是無法通過拼寫的方式傳情達(dá)意的。終于，他們進(jìn)行了最后的決斗。我感覺到了雙劍擊刺閃避時的鋒芒，還有鮑勃搖搖晃晃的身形;可憐的鮑勃勇氣漸失，他的斗志已經(jīng)在指端消解殆盡。接著，這位偉大的演員猛地拉下自己的戰(zhàn)袍，雙唇止不住地抽搐。轉(zhuǎn)瞬之間，我就置身在瀑布村，而且觸摸到了施奈德那毛發(fā)蓬松的頭正抵著我的膝蓋。杰弗遜先生背誦了《里普·梵·溫克爾》中的精彩對白，這是一段笑中含淚的感人情節(jié)。他還詳盡地向我介紹了手勢和形體應(yīng)該步調(diào)一致的舞臺表演經(jīng)驗(yàn)。當(dāng)然，無論是多么生動的表演，我全都一無所知，我所能做的只是胡亂猜想而已。但是，他精湛的藝術(shù)功力使他賦予表演以生命力，正如他所沉吟的里普的慨嘆：“死去的人兒怎么這么快就被人遺忘?”在經(jīng)歷了長眠之后，他懷著失魂落魄的心情尋找他的狗和獵槍，而且，他猶豫不決地同德里克簽訂合約的舉動也十分可笑——所有這些似乎都脫離了生活本身的意義。換句話說，理想的生活狀態(tài)，應(yīng)該是依照我們所認(rèn)定的方式而發(fā)生的。

　　I remember well the first time I went to the theatre. It was twelve years ago. Elsie Leslie, the little actress, was in Boston, and Miss Sullivan took me to see her in "The Prince and the Pauper." I shall never forget the ripple of alternating joy and woe that ran through that beautiful little play, or the wonderful child who acted it. After the play I was permitted to go behind the scenes and meet her in her royal costume. It would have been hard to find a lovelier or more lovable child than Elsie, as she stood with a cloud of golden hair floating over her shoulders, smiling brightly, showing no signs of shyness or fatigue, though she had been playing to an immense audience. I was only just learning to speak, and had previously repeated her name until I could say it perfectly. Imagine my delight when she understood the few words I spoke to her and withouthesitation stretched her hand to greet me.

　　我十分清楚地記得我第一次到劇院看戲時的情景，那是十二年以前的事了。艾爾希·萊斯利，就是那位兒童演員，她當(dāng)時也在波士頓，她和蘇立文小姐帶我去看她在《王子與乞丐》中的演出。我永遠(yuǎn)也不會忘記這出感人的小話劇，尤其是悲喜交加的劇情和兒童演員的精彩表演。演出結(jié)束后，我被允許到后臺見識一下她的王家裝束。我得說，你很難找到一個像萊斯利這么惹人喜愛的小孩了，尤其是當(dāng)她面帶微笑，頂著一頭如云般飄逸垂肩的金發(fā)默默佇立時，你更感到妙不可言。她絲毫沒有流露出膽怯或者疲憊的跡象，盡管她所面對的是臺下的一大群觀眾。那時我只是剛開始學(xué)習(xí)講話，于是我預(yù)先把“萊斯利”的名字重復(fù)了一遍又一遍，直到我能通順自如地說出口。想象一下，當(dāng)她聽懂了我對她說的幾個詞語，并且毫不猶豫地伸出手來向我問候時，這該是多么令人高興的事啊。

　　Is it not true, then, that my life with all its limitations touches at many points the life of the World Beautiful? Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content.

　　因此，難道不可以這樣說——我的生命正是帶著它所有的局限性，從許多角度來感受世間萬物之美的嗎?每一種事物都有它的神奇之處，即使像黑暗和寂靜這樣的事也不例外。而且，我已經(jīng)領(lǐng)悟到了生活的真諦，所以無論身處何境，我都會欣然面對。

　　Sometimes, it is true, a sense of isolation enfolds me like a cold mist as I sit alone and wait at life’s shut gate. Beyond there is light, and music, and sweet companionship; but I may not enter. Fate, silent, pitiless, bars the way. Fain would I question his imperious decree, for my heart is stillundisciplined and passionate; but my tongue will not utter the bitter, futile words that rise to my lips, and they fall back into my heart like unshed tears. Silence sits immense upon my soul. Then comes hope with a smile and whispers, "There is joy in self-forgetfulness." So I try to make the light in others’ eyes my sun, the music in others’ ears my symphony, the smile on others’ lips my happiness.

　　有時候，一種與世隔絕的無助感也會將我裹挾，如同將我拋進(jìn)一股寒冷的霧靄當(dāng)中，我孤獨(dú)地坐在那道關(guān)閉的生命之門面前苦苦等待。門的那一邊有光明，有樂音，有甜蜜的友情;但是我卻無法進(jìn)入。苦難、沉寂、冷酷的命運(yùn)之手將我擋在門外。于是，我不得不對它(命運(yùn))那專橫的天條質(zhì)疑，因?yàn)槲胰杂幸活w恣肆昂揚(yáng)而充滿激情的心。但是，我的舌頭將不會發(fā)出苦難的聲音。當(dāng)徒勞的話語到達(dá)嘴邊的時候，它們就會像尚未流出的眼淚一樣再次退卻到我的心房，無邊的寂靜壓在我的心頭。這時希望就會微笑著竊竊私語：“喜悅存在于忘我之中。”于是，我努力把我心中的太陽照耀進(jìn)別人的眼中，把我心中的交響樂在別人的耳中奏響，把我的快樂鐫刻在別人的臉龐上。