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海倫·凱勒自傳《我的生活》第5期

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  About this time I found out the use of a key. One morning I locked my mother up in the pantry, where she was obliged to remain three hours, as the servants were in a detached part of the house. She kept pounding on the door, while I sat outside on the porch steps and laughed with glee as I felt the jar of the pounding. This most naughty prank of mine convinced my parents that I must be taught as soon as possible. After my teacher, Miss Sullivan, came to me, I sought an early opportunity to lock her in her room. I went upstairs with something which my mother made me understand I was to give to Miss Sullivan; but no sooner had I given it to her than I slammed the door to, locked it, and hid the key under the wardrobe in the hall. I could not be induced to tell where the key was. My father was obliged to get a ladder and take Miss Sullivan out through the window--much to my delight. Months after I produced the key.

  就是在那個(gè)時(shí)候,我發(fā)現(xiàn)自己會(huì)使用鑰匙了。一天早晨,我把母親鎖在了儲(chǔ)藏室里,她被迫在里面待了三個(gè)小時(shí),因?yàn)槟菚r(shí)仆人們都出去干活了。母親不停地敲打房門,我能感覺(jué)到敲擊房門的震動(dòng)聲,可我卻坐在走廊的臺(tái)階上咯咯地笑。這類令人頭疼的惡作劇使我的父母意識(shí)到,我必須盡快接受教育。記得在我的老師蘇立文小姐到來(lái)后,我還找了一個(gè)機(jī)會(huì)把她鎖在了自己房間里。當(dāng)時(shí)母親領(lǐng)我上樓去見(jiàn)蘇立文小姐,她想讓我明白她要把我交給老師??墒菦](méi)多久我就砰地一下把門關(guān)上,而且還上了鎖。然后,我又把鑰匙藏在了走廊里的衣櫥里。家人并沒(méi)有哄我交出鑰匙。結(jié)果,我的父親只得搬了一把梯子,把蘇立文小姐從窗口接了出來(lái)。這出小把戲讓我高興了好一陣兒。幾個(gè)月之后我才交出了鑰匙。

  When I was about five years old we moved from the little vine-covered house to a large new one. The family consisted of my father and mother, two older half-brothers, and, afterward, a little sister, Mildred. My earliest distinct recollection of my father is making my way through great drifts of newspapers to his side and finding him alone, holding a sheet of paper before his face. I was greatly puzzled to know what he was doing. I imitated this action, even wearing his spectacles, thinking they might help solve the mystery. But I did not find out the secret for several years. Then I learned what those papers were, and that my father edited one of them.

  在我五歲大的時(shí)候,我們從藤蘿覆蓋的小房子搬到了一個(gè)新建的大房子里。這個(gè)家庭由我的父母,兩個(gè)同父異母的哥哥,還有后來(lái)出生的小妹妹米爾德萊德組成。我最早而且印象最深的有關(guān)父親的記憶,就是我搖搖晃晃地穿過(guò)一堆堆的報(bào)紙來(lái)到他身邊,這時(shí)我就會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)他總是獨(dú)自拿著一沓報(bào)紙擺在面前。我會(huì)感到極其迷惑,很想知道他在做什么。我也會(huì)模仿他的動(dòng)作,甚至戴上了他的眼鏡,因?yàn)槲蚁胙坨R或許能幫我解開未知的秘密。但是若干年過(guò)去了,我沒(méi)有發(fā)現(xiàn)什么秘密。后來(lái)我才了解到那些報(bào)紙的來(lái)歷——我的父親是在對(duì)文章進(jìn)行編輯校對(duì)。

  My father was most loving and indulgent, devoted to his home, seldom leaving us, except in the hunting season. He was a great hunter, I have been told, and a celebrated shot. Next to his family he loved his dogs and gun. His hospitality was great, almost to a fault, and he seldom came home without bringing a guest. His special pride was the big garden where, it was said, he raised the finest watermelons and strawberries in the county; and to me he brought the first ripe grapes and the choicest berries. I remember his caressing touch as he led me from tree to tree, from vine to vine, and his eager delight in whatever pleased me.

  我的父親是那種極其眷顧家庭的人,除了狩獵季節(jié),他很少離開我們。他是一個(gè)出色的獵人,有著一手好槍法。在家庭之外,他最愛(ài)他的狗和獵槍。另外,他還是一個(gè)極其好客的人,這幾乎成了他的一個(gè)性格弱點(diǎn),他很少有不帶客人回家的時(shí)候。他最引以為豪的地方就是我們家的大花園,據(jù)說(shuō),他培育的西瓜和草莓是全縣最好的,我還記得他把最先成熟的葡萄和精選的漿果摘給我吃。他充滿慈愛(ài)地領(lǐng)著我在果樹和藤蘿之間穿行,他積極樂(lè)觀的情緒時(shí)刻感染著我。

  He was a famous story-teller; after I had acquired language he used to spell clumsily into my hand his cleverest anecdotes, and nothing pleased him more than to have me repeat them at anopportune moment.

  父親是一個(gè)很會(huì)講故事的人,在我掌握了語(yǔ)言以后,他常常會(huì)笨拙地在我手上拼寫字詞,并以此來(lái)講述他的那些奇聞逸事。在“講完”故事后,他會(huì)讓我馬上“復(fù)述”出來(lái),再也沒(méi)有什么比重復(fù)故事更令他高興的事了。

  I was in the North, enjoying the last beautiful days of the summer of 1896, when I heard the news of my father’s death. He had had a short illness, there had been a brief time of acute suffering, then all was over. This was my first great sorrow--my first personal experience with death.

  1896年,當(dāng)時(shí)我住在北方,正愜意地享受著夏日最后的時(shí)光,就是在那個(gè)時(shí)候,我聽到了父親的死訊。他死于一次突發(fā)疾病,經(jīng)歷了短暫的痛苦后,人就這么離去了。父親的死亡是我人生中第一次感受到的巨大悲慟——也使我第一次對(duì)死亡有了自己的認(rèn)識(shí)。

  How shall I write of my mother? She is so near to me that it almost seems indelicate to speak of her.

  我又如何描述我的母親呢?她離我是那么近,對(duì)我而言,用語(yǔ)言來(lái)描述她是近乎失禮的舉動(dòng)。

  For a long time I regarded my little sister as an intruder. I knew that I had ceased to be my mother’s only darling, and the thought filled me with jealousy. She sat in my mother’s lapconstantly, where I used to sit, and seemed to take up all her care and time. One day something happened which seemed to me to be adding insult to injury.

  有很長(zhǎng)一段時(shí)間,我都把我的小妹妹視做一個(gè)入侵者。當(dāng)時(shí),我知道我已經(jīng)不再是母親唯一的寶貝,我的心里充滿了嫉妒。妹妹總是坐在母親的膝蓋上,那里本是我坐的位置,而現(xiàn)在卻被她完全占領(lǐng)了,她受到了所有的呵護(hù)與關(guān)愛(ài)。有一天,發(fā)生了一件不愉快的事情,那件事使我覺(jué)得受到了莫大的侮辱。

  At that time I had a much-petted, much-abused doll, which I afterward named Nancy. She was, alas, the helpless victim of my outbursts of temper and of affection, so that she became much the worse for wear. I had dolls which talked, and cried, and opened and shut their eyes; yet I never loved one of them as I loved poor Nancy. She had a cradle, and I often spent an hour or more rocking her. I guarded both doll and cradle with the most jealous care; but once I discovered my little sister sleeping peacefully in the cradle. At this presumption on the part of one to whom as yet no tie of love bound me I grew angry. I rushed upon the cradle and over-turned it, and the baby might have been killed had my mother not caught her as she fell. Thus it is that when we walk in the valley of twofold solitude we know little of the tender affections that grow out of endearing words and actions and companionship. But afterward, when I was restored to my human heritage, Mildred and I grew into each other’s hearts, so that wewere content to go hand-in-hand wherever caprice led us, although she could not understand my finger language, nor I her childish prattle.

  那時(shí)我有一個(gè)成天抱在手里,既寵又恨的洋娃娃,后來(lái)我給她起名叫南希。唉,實(shí)際上,這個(gè)娃娃只是供我發(fā)脾氣的犧牲品,所以,她總是一副破衣爛衫的樣子。我有會(huì)說(shuō)話的洋娃娃,也有會(huì)哭和會(huì)眨眼睛的洋娃娃,但是我從來(lái)都不會(huì)像愛(ài)我的破南希那樣愛(ài)她們。南希有一個(gè)搖籃,我經(jīng)常花一個(gè)小時(shí)甚至更多的時(shí)間把她放在搖籃里搖動(dòng)。我無(wú)比關(guān)切地守護(hù)著娃娃和她的搖籃。但是有一次,我發(fā)現(xiàn)我的小妹妹安靜地躺在搖籃里熟睡。現(xiàn)在只能做出這樣的推測(cè),那時(shí)根本就沒(méi)有愛(ài)和親情的紐帶能束縛住我的憤怒。于是,我沖過(guò)去把搖籃翻了個(gè)個(gè)兒,要不是母親上前抓住了她,妹妹也許會(huì)被我殺死。所以說(shuō),當(dāng)我們行走在備感孤獨(dú)的幽谷之中,我們才會(huì)逐漸了解到充滿關(guān)愛(ài)的言行以及友情所帶給我們的感動(dòng)。后來(lái),當(dāng)我重新恢復(fù)了人類友愛(ài)的本性后,我和米爾德萊德已經(jīng)成長(zhǎng)為彼此交心的姊妹。無(wú)論世事如何變化,我們倆都愿意手拉手地面對(duì)眼前的一切,雖然她不懂我的手語(yǔ),而我也不明白她那些孩子氣的語(yǔ)言。


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