卡耐基演講·四、表現(xiàn)出信心十足的樣子

美國(guó)最著名的心理學(xué)家威廉·詹姆斯有這樣一段論述：The most famous psychologist that America has produced, Professor William James, wrote as follows:

“行動(dòng)似乎緊隨于感覺(jué)之后，但事實(shí)上卻是行動(dòng)與感覺(jué)并行。行動(dòng)在意志的直接控制之下，通過(guò)制約行動(dòng)，我們也可以間接制約感覺(jué)，但感覺(jué)是不受意志的直接控制的?！耙虼耍偃缥覀兪チ嗽械淖匀坏臍g樂(lè)，那么，使自己歡樂(lè)的最佳方法，即是快快樂(lè)樂(lè)地坐著或者說(shuō)話，表現(xiàn)得自己本來(lái)就是歡樂(lè)的一樣。如果這樣的舉動(dòng)還不能讓你覺(jué)得快樂(lè)，那就沒(méi)有別的辦法了。Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not. Thus the sovereign voluntary path to cheerfulness, if our spontaneous cheerfulness be lost, is to sit up cheerfully and to act and speak as if cheerfulness were already there. If such conduct does not make you feel cheerful, nothing else on that occasion can.

“所以，讓自己感覺(jué)自己勇敢起來(lái)，而且表現(xiàn)得好像真的很勇敢，運(yùn)用一切意志達(dá)到這個(gè)目標(biāo)，勇氣就很可能會(huì)取代恐懼感?！盨o, to feel brave, act as if we were brave, use all of our will to that end, and a courage-fit will very likely replace the fit of fear.

記住詹姆斯教授的勸告吧。為了培養(yǎng)勇氣，面對(duì)觀眾的時(shí)候，不妨就表現(xiàn)得好像真有勇氣一樣。當(dāng)然，前提是必須還得有充分的準(zhǔn)備，否則再怎么表演也沒(méi)有用了。如果已經(jīng)對(duì)自己所要講的內(nèi)容了然于胸，那就輕松地大步而出，再做一次深呼吸。面對(duì)聽(tīng)眾之前，深呼吸三十秒，增加的氧氣供應(yīng)可以提神，給你勇氣。杰出的男高音姜·德·雷斯基常說(shuō)：你如果氣充胸臆，就可以“席氣而坐”，緊張自然消逝無(wú)蹤。Apply Professor James' advice. To develop courage when you are facing an audience, act as if you already had it. Of course, unless, you are prepared, all the acting in the world will avail but little. But granted that you know what you are going to talk about, step out briskly and take a deep breath. In fact, breathe deeply for thirty seconds before you ever face your audience. The increased supply of oxygen will buoy you up and give you courage. The great tenor, Jean de Reszke, used to say that when you had your breath so you "could sit on it" nervousness vanished.

把身體站直，看著聽(tīng)眾的眼睛，開(kāi)始信心十足地講話。假想他們每個(gè)人都欠你的錢(qián)，他們聚在那兒不過(guò)是請(qǐng)求你寬限還債的時(shí)間。這種心理作用對(duì)你會(huì)很有幫助。Draw yourself up to your full height and look your audience straight in the eyes, and begin to talk as confidently as if every one of them owed you money. Imagine that they do. Imagine that they have assembled there to beg you for an extension of credit. The psychological effect on you will be beneficial.

你如果懷疑這種理論沒(méi)有道理，可以找個(gè)同意這種意見(jiàn)的任何一位我班上的同學(xué)談?wù)?，不用幾分鐘，就?huì)讓你消除疑慮。如果你沒(méi)有機(jī)會(huì)與他們交談，就聽(tīng)聽(tīng)一個(gè)美國(guó)人的話吧，他常被視為勇氣的象征，但曾經(jīng)也非常膽小，后來(lái)練習(xí)自我信賴之后，才成了勇者之最——他便是反托拉斯斗士、常左右著聽(tīng)眾、掄使巨杖的美國(guó)總統(tǒng)西奧多·羅斯福。If you doubt that this philosophy makes sense, you would change your mind after a few minutes' conversation with almost any of the class members who have preceded you in following the ideas on which this book is based. Since you can't talk to them, take the word of an American who will always be a symbol of courage. Once he was the most timorous of men; by practicing self-assurance, he became one of the boldest; he was the trust-busting, audience swaying, Big-Stick-wielding President of the United States, Theodore Roosevelt.

他在自傳里這樣說(shuō)：“因?yàn)樾r(shí)候經(jīng)常是病歪歪的，又很笨拙。年輕時(shí)，起先既緊張又對(duì)自己沒(méi)有信心，我不得不艱難而辛苦地訓(xùn)練自己，不只是對(duì)身體，而且是對(duì)靈魂和精神進(jìn)行訓(xùn)練?！盚aving been a rather sickly and awkward boy, he confesses in his autobiography, "I was, as a young man, at the first both nervous and distrustful of my powers. I had to train myself painfully and laboriously not merely as regards my body but as regards my soul and spirit."

他這樣講述自己蛻變的經(jīng)過(guò)：“孩提時(shí)期，我在馬利埃特的一本書(shū)里讀到一段話，印象極深刻，時(shí)時(shí)縈繞在心。那是一艘小型英國(guó)軍艦的艦長(zhǎng)，向主角講解怎樣才能做到氣宇軒昂、無(wú)畏無(wú)懼時(shí)所說(shuō)的一段話。他說(shuō)：剛開(kāi)始的時(shí)候，每個(gè)人想有所行動(dòng)時(shí)，都會(huì)害怕。應(yīng)該學(xué)會(huì)駕馭自己，讓自己表現(xiàn)得好像一點(diǎn)兒也不害怕。這樣持之以恒，原先的假裝就會(huì)變成事實(shí)，他只不過(guò)憑借練習(xí)無(wú)畏的精神，在不知不覺(jué)中真的變成無(wú)所畏懼的勇者了。Fortunately, he has disclosed how he achieved the transformation. "When a boy," he wrote, "I read a passage in one of Marryat's books which always impressed me. In this passage, the captain of some small British man-of-war is explaining to the hero how to acquire the quality of fearlessness. He says that at the outset almost every man is frightened when he goes into action, but that the course to follow is for the man to keep such a grip on himself that he can act just as if he were not frightened. After this is kept up long enough, it changes from pretense to reality, and the man does in very fact become. fearless by sheer dint of practicing fearlessness when he does not feel it.

“這便是我訓(xùn)練自己的理論根據(jù)。一開(kāi)始，我害怕的事情真多，從大灰熊到野馬還有槍手，無(wú)一不怕，可是我故意裝出不怕的樣子，慢慢地我就不再感到害怕。人們?nèi)羰窃敢猓材芟裎乙粯幼龅降??！盩his was the theory upon which I went. There were all kinds of things of which I was afraid at first, ranging from grizzly bears to 'mean' horses and gunfighters; but by acting as if I were not afraid I gradually ceased to be afraid. Most men can have the same experience if they choose.

克服當(dāng)眾說(shuō)話的恐懼，對(duì)我們做其他任何事情都會(huì)有極大的潛移默化的影響。那些接受這項(xiàng)挑戰(zhàn)的人，會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)自己的人品漸漸完美，因?yàn)閼?zhàn)勝當(dāng)眾說(shuō)話的恐懼，已使他們脫胎換骨，進(jìn)入更豐富、更圓滿的人生了。Overcoming fear of public speaking has a tremendous transfer value to everything that we do. Those who answer this challenge find that they are better persons because of it. They find that their victory over fear of talking before groups has taken them out of themselves into a richer and fuller life.

有個(gè)推銷員如此寫(xiě)道：“在班上站起來(lái)幾次之后，我覺(jué)得對(duì)于任何人我都可以應(yīng)付了。一天早上我走到一個(gè)特別兇悍的買(mǎi)主面前，他還沒(méi)來(lái)得及說(shuō)‘不’，我就已經(jīng)把樣品攤開(kāi)在他的桌上。結(jié)果，他給了我一份最大的訂單?！盇 salesman wrote, "After a few times on my feet before the class, I felt that I could tackle anyone. One morning I walked up to the door of a particularly tough purchasing agent, and before he could say, 'no', I had my samples spread out on his desk, and he gave me one of the biggest orders I have ever received."

一位家庭主婦告訴我：“原來(lái)我不敢請(qǐng)鄰居上家里來(lái)，怕和客人不能融洽地談笑。但是上過(guò)幾次課，并站起來(lái)講過(guò)話之后，我決定開(kāi)一次宴會(huì)。那次宴會(huì)開(kāi)得非常成功。我往來(lái)于賓客之間，毫無(wú)困難地和他們盡情談笑?！盇 housewife told one of our representatives, "I was afraid to invite the neighbors in for fear that I wouldn't be able to keep the conversation going. After taking a few sessions and getting up on my feet, I took the plunge and held my first party. It was a great success. I had no trouble stimulating the group along interesting lines of talk."

在另一個(gè)畢業(yè)班會(huì)上，一名店員說(shuō)：“最初我很怕顧客，總是戰(zhàn)戰(zhàn)兢兢的。在班上講演過(guò)幾次后，我覺(jué)得說(shuō)起話來(lái)有自信了，也從容了。我開(kāi)始理直氣壯地說(shuō)出不同的意見(jiàn)。我在班上講演后的第一個(gè)月里，我的銷售業(yè)績(jī)便上升了百分之四十五?！盇t a graduating class, a clerk said, "I was afraid of the customers, I gave them a feeling that I was apologetic. After speaking to the class a few times, I found that I was speaking up with more assurance and poise, I began to answer objections with authoritativeness. My sales went up forty-five per cent the first month after I started to speak to this class."

他們發(fā)現(xiàn)，自己已經(jīng)能夠輕易地克服別的恐懼或焦慮，從前可能會(huì)失敗的事，現(xiàn)在卻能成功了。從當(dāng)眾說(shuō)話獲得的信心，讓自己信心滿懷地面對(duì)每一天的到來(lái)。你同樣可以獲得這種從來(lái)沒(méi)有過(guò)的勝利感，用來(lái)迎接生命的難題和困擾，曾經(jīng)接二連三的困境，也可以變成生活中增添情趣的愉快挑戰(zhàn)了。They discovered that it was easy to conquer other fears and anxieties and to be successful where before they may have failed. You, too, will find that speaking in public will enable you to face what each day presents with a sure touch that confidence brings. You will be able to meet the problems and conflicts of life with a new sense of mastery. What has been a series of insoluble situations can become a bright challenge to increased pleasure in living.