女孩的“自信代碼”:3種方法來(lái)培養(yǎng)我們的女兒

If there's one quality I want my girls to have more than any other, it is confidence.

如果有一種品質(zhì)是我最想讓我的女兒擁有的，那就是自信。

I've seen how important it is in the workplace and in life: Confident people get what they want. They take risks. They are not afraid of failure.

我看到了自信在工作和生活中的重要性:自信的人得到他們想要的。他們冒險(xiǎn)。他們不怕失敗。

Growing up as a perfectionist, somewhat fearful of both failure and success, I wish I had the confidence in my teens and early 20s that I have now.

作為一個(gè)完美主義者長(zhǎng)大，我有點(diǎn)害怕失敗和成功，我希望我在十幾歲和二十出頭的時(shí)候有現(xiàn)在這樣的信心。

For all these reasons, I was thrilled when one of my daughters, during the first grade, had to name five words to describe herself. Confident was on her list. I thought then and still think now, "What can I do to make sure she feels that way when she is a teenager?"

由于所有這些原因，當(dāng)我的一個(gè)女兒在一年級(jí)時(shí)不得不說(shuō)出五個(gè)詞來(lái)描述她自己時(shí)，我非常激動(dòng)。自信在她的清單上。我當(dāng)時(shí)在想，現(xiàn)在也在想，“我能做些什么來(lái)確保她在十幾歲的時(shí)候也有這種感覺(jué)?”

Journalist, author and speaker Claire Shipman has some answers. In 2014, she and her co-author, Katty Kay, anchor of BBC World News America, published "The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance -- What Women Should Know." The book resonated deeply with women and quickly became a bestseller.

記者、作家兼演說(shuō)家克萊爾·希普曼給出了一些答案。2014年，她和她的合著者、BBC世界新聞美國(guó)頻道(BBC World News America)主播凱蒂·凱(Katty Kay)出版了《自信密碼:自信的科學(xué)與藝術(shù)——女性應(yīng)該知道的東西》(The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance——What Women Should Know)。這本書引起了女性的共鳴，很快成為暢銷書。

I asked Shipman, a mom of two, for some advice -- advice she said she's using with her 13-year-old daughter, with good results.

我向希普曼請(qǐng)教，她是兩個(gè)孩子的母親，她說(shuō)她正在給她13歲的女兒提一些建議，效果很好。

1. Help her get outside her comfort zone and take risks.

1. 幫助她走出舒適區(qū)，去冒險(xiǎn)。

One of the most important things we can do as parents of daughters, Shipman said, is to help them get "comfortable being uncomfortable." Shipman said she and Kay feel that if they do nothing else in this book but get girls to walk away and understand that it's cool to take risks, they will have succeeded.

希普曼說(shuō)，作為女兒的父母，我們能做的最重要的事情之一，就是幫助她們“適應(yīng)不自在”。希普曼說(shuō)，她和凱覺(jué)得，如果他們?cè)谶@本書里什么都不做，只是讓女孩們走開(kāi)，讓她們明白冒險(xiǎn)很酷，她們就會(huì)成功。

2. Have her keep a list of risks.

2. 讓她列一個(gè)風(fēng)險(xiǎn)清單。

Having your daughter keep a list of the risks she has taken and how she worked through them can be a reminder of what she is capable of, Shipman said. The same holds true for failures: Listing their failures and how they tackled them can be incredibly empowering.

希普曼說(shuō)，讓你的女兒把她所冒過(guò)的風(fēng)險(xiǎn)以及她是如何克服這些風(fēng)險(xiǎn)的記錄下來(lái)，可以提醒她自己能夠做到什么。同樣的道理也適用于失敗:列出他們的失敗，以及他們是如何處理的，這些都能極大地增強(qiáng)你的能力。

Also, have them keep a list of some stock phrases that they can tell themselves when they are in a bit of a frightening situation, such as "I've done something like this before. I can do it. I've got it."

同時(shí)，讓他們列出一些常用的短語(yǔ)，當(dāng)他們處于某種可怕的情況時(shí)，他們可以告訴自己，比如“我以前做過(guò)類似的事情。”我能做到。我懂了。”

3. Remind her of 'failure fixes.'

3.提醒她“糾正錯(cuò)誤”。

Our girls need to know that failure will undoubtedly happen and that it's not something they can avoid. But knowing how to deal with it can help. "We all need a cheat sheet to failure," Shipman and Kay write.

我們的女孩需要知道，失敗肯定會(huì)發(fā)生，這是她們無(wú)法避免的。但知道如何處理它會(huì)有所幫助。“我們都需要失敗的小抄，”希普曼和凱寫道。